Don’t Touch Me!

posted on 30 Aug 2005 in Chinglish, Signs

My lawn has some emotional baggage…

 

Sign found in China

44 captions

  1. Zoe | 1:21 pm |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 2  

    im allergic to violence too it brings me out in cuts and bruises lol

  2. Angelbaby | 5:09 pm |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 0  

    I wouldn’t touch the trees either, they’re pretty sensitive, too.

  3. wolfshade | 6:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 22  Subtract rating 0  

    That poor lawn has been hurt to many times…

  4. krislikewhaat | 5:18 pm |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 0  

    It actually says that in the Chinese as well

  5. Emery Ward | 1:22 pm |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    I’d rather be verbally abused.

  6. toBec | 3:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    I still have nightmares of the lawmower after a ten years therapy

  7. Greener on the other side | 9:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t walk all over me or treat me like a door-mat. My shrink says I need to keep practising being assertive to help my poor self-esteem

  8. tome | 4:41 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    My glass is sensitivity. I hurt when one takes one foot and takes flight on my ground that is mine.

  9. P.K. | 1:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Gee, I shouldn’t have wished my grass was emo.

  10. fbr | 11:41 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 4  

    Don’t rape me, I’m a virgin

  11. AZ | 7:24 pm |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    i wish my grass was emo so that it would cut itself… oh, wait, maybe it is.

  12. FLO | 12:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    So much for keep of the grass…

  13. Belbe | 11:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    It’s a sign! Grass can be emo and cut itself!

  14. YoYo | 12:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 1  

    Kiss me instead.

  15. niels brouwer | 2:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    After rumours of aggressive tree-huggers in the park, even the grass didn’t feel safe anymore..

  16. Chloristine | 7:00 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 1  

    I wish this lawn was emo… so it could cut itself!

  17. Seamus | 10:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    You know our environment are in grave danger when plants are emo.

  18. Ting | 1:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    you should put those on the trees.

  19. Mandee | 12:32 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    But do walk on me with stiletto heels of 5 inches; this hurt I like…

  20. Jimbo | 1:52 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    This grass was abused as a child.

  21. Emily | 8:19 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Yes, it does actually say the same thing in the Chinese text

  22. John | 10:00 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    my lawn is going through a REALLY messy divorce

  23. dave | 11:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I’d be afraid of pain too if someone was mowing ME constantly.

  24. noumuon | 8:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 1  

    sadly, this is an accurate translation of the actual sign.

  25. boo | 6:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    the chinese version has an equally bizzare grammatical mistake

  26. Dying in hell | 6:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 1  

    So can I kick your ass?

  27. loopdeloop | 7:49 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 1  

    if I cant hurt you, can I kill you?

  28. ENKC | 2:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    It’s not easy being green.

  29. bridget | 8:12 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Emotional instability is so unappealing. I’m going back to the park where the grass smiles at me…..

  30. Dave | 10:17 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 1  

    Stay off the lawn you yard molester!

  31. Nicholas | 8:19 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Paranoid grass needs medication…

  32. paulooo | 12:35 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I won’t let anyone touch me ever again after what happened with my wife! Oh…

  33. BAM1104 | 9:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 3  

    “Don’t touch me, i’m afraid of hurt”…… Thats what she said

  34. pauloo | 4:38 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    A story of love gone wrong… When poor green grass was hurt by his lover Bermuda, he assured himself he’d never let another weed touch his roots again.

  35. iM CRAZY!! | 8:56 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    i feel bad for….it?

  36. - | 8:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    my name is not “Hurt”… can I touch you, then?

  37. don | 12:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    sorry i pissed on you last night. i was drunk

  38. Lala | 12:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    you hate me becoz i “touch-touch” you(grass)??sorry i have to becoz there no another way!!

  39. LagX | 1:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Dont hurt me, im afraid of touch!

  40. hahahaah | 2:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    It actually says “Do not step on me. I am afraid of pain” in Chinese.

  41. Gerson | 2:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    STOP TOUCHING MEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I KILL YOU!

    It was funny with the dead terrorist, as for the grass I think ill stay away…. Japanese grass… who knows what could happen.

  42. f | 9:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    whaa haha just like old games “select difficulty” screen

  43. epicak | 1:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 1  

    I’m not afraid of hurt. So sign touch me..

  44. Seventy2rd o clock | 10:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t touch me, I don’t know where you’ve been

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