Help Oneself…
posted on 20 Oct 2005 in Chinglish
Just hit the execute button…
Machine found in China.
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Spits debit card @ 550 mph straight into your heart
If you wish to make a withdrawal from this world, press 1.
so… why aint everyone rich in china?
Assisted suicide made easy.
To doughnut You’re Organs Press 1
“To Donate your organs Press 1″
Although possessed of an intimidating Austrian accent, SkyNet’s first efforts at exterminating humanity were… less than successful.
Skynet: the early years!
“Would you like a receipt sent to your house?”
Would you like to print out a receipt?
It will end you.
Press 1 to continue in Engrish.
Euthanasia supported in Asia
Do it yourself suicide, or free assisted suicide? You decide.
Used only once, by the person who made the translation…
any special burial instructions?
This avoids your family having to pay for the bullet.
Jack Kevorkian’s favorite gadget!!!
is this the chinese bank that bought wamu and lehman bros.?
One of the earlier Terminator prototypes
its the freakin suicide both from futurama
When the economic crisis hits home.
Step 1: insert card
Step 2: press little red button
Step 3: wait for countdown
if you plan to end your life, just visit the machine and it will do the rest for you!! happy dying!!
Whooo needz a machin?
KAMIKAZE!
Self help: chineese style!
(And I thought American self-help was evil….)
This explains the rumours behind Harold Shipman’s having made a killing in China….
Futurama much?
And, only available in Japan, a Sepukku guard can be there to chop your head off! Happy dying!
Easy. effective, and almost legal!
click here to die in either spanish, japanese, or engrish
Have a good die…
Let’s hit the bloody button and die and go to hell
Just like the suicide machine in futurama! Except those were phone booths…
Terminators older lazier brother
Dr. Kevorkian’s latest invention
Chase introduces the new and improved HOTM.
Murder made easy and simple, all over the world
Use this machine once and “YOU WON’T BE BACK!!” “Hasta la VISA, baby!!”
The “Dying Here is Prohibited” sign must be in the parkade to this building…
FINALLY! The Dems and Rep have come to a compromise! Do it yourself Death Panels!
Seems that they translated 自助 (meaning self-service) into “help oneself”, while 終端 (terminal) into “terminating maching” (the word “終” itself can mean terminating/ending). The whole Chinese word should mean “self-servicing terminal”.
This kind of character-by-character mis-translation seems quite common in mainland China. One of the funniest mis-translation would be they mis-translated the simplified Chinese character “干”. Somehow they mis-translated it into “f*ck”, while it should mean “dry/dried” in that case.
Originally in traditional Chinese, the word “dry” (乾) and “f*ck” (幹) are different characters. But in simplified Chinese they have combined into the same characher “干”. People who learnt only simplied character would not be able to distinguish and make such great jokes.
(footnote: Even the traditional character 幹 has multiple meaning, the most common one is “do something”. It means f*ck only in specific context, and is not common.)
Having trouble committing suicide? Just buy our Help Oneself Terminating Machine! Makes life easier when it comes to self-termination!
save your money jaz enough to buy a coffin before u touch this machine!
Reminds me of the ’suicide booth’ from the first Futurama episode.
Look, I know China’s population is unwieldy, but this is ridiculous.