Toilet Rules?

posted on 14 Nov 2007 in Chinglish

 

Photo courtesy of John and Jemi Holmes.

Found at public toilet in Sichuan Province, China.

(Enhanced contrast of photo for readability.)

149 captions

  1. katie | 5:51 pm |

    Damn it! I thought i could get away with boiling my food in there!

  2. garudamon11 | 3:40 pm |

    “Because of monkeys” …..

  3. Ghighman | 2:02 pm |

    damn i need to place some excrements…;)

  4. snopes | 4:30 pm |

    And just what part of this don’t you not to understand?

  5. bridget | 6:03 pm |

    At least THIS one doesn’t have cameras!!!!

  6. Iam Jhonsoon | 10:49 pm |

    1. Each toilet cubicle has a limited occupancy of 1 person only. (Don’t try to save space by sharing a toilet with your friend at the same time.)
    2. Only release your excrement into the toilet bowl. If you release it anywhere else, the dissatisfied foot of the management will kick you.
    3. You must take good care of the toilet facilities. It is strictly forbidden to remove the toilet from the cubicle and take it out of the toilet room.
    4. Place your excrement in the excrement bucket provided. If you release it into the toilet bowl, it could block the toilet causing it to leak (overflow).
    5. To avoid scaring other toilet users, don’t scream inside the toilet, even if you’re very constipated.
    6. Don’t interfere with other people while they are enjoying the toilet. Allow them to release their excrement in peace.
    7. Don’t boil food in the toilet. Eat in the cafeteria instead.
    8. No idea!
    9. No graffiti writing.
    10. Don’t release excrement in the urinals.
    11. No unlawful carrying-on in the toilet and no hard parts of the anatomy.

  7. Iam Jhonsoon | 11:08 pm |

    I had a second thought. I think the whole thing means “Foreign men with beards must not hang around in these toilets violating young Chinese men”, or something along these lines.

  8. Nat | 4:21 pm |

    uh. . . maybe we should wait until we get back to the hotel

  9. piscesix | 9:28 am |

    only thing i understand is toilet.lol

  10. Max | 7:39 am |

    Uh yeah..cuz it’s so often you see/smell people boiling toilet water to make their food.

  11. Bob | 2:00 am |

    My guess on 8 is “If you really need to use the toilet, then do it; don’t just hang around in here bothering people.” And I think 10 is more like “Please study these rules and make an effort to follow them.”

  12. Lyn | 9:41 pm |

    With all these rules I think I’ll just hold it in….

  13. drumming_panda | 6:03 pm |

    Are you clamoring around in the toilet again?!?!

  14. Spence | 12:40 am |

    Van Gogh started his painting career when his foot was trying to re-satisfy itself, but, in the confusion, he accidentally broke the wall. As punishment, he was forced to make a disorderly painting, and that’s what got him into abstract art.

  15. bobdog | 7:08 am |

    a movable toilet? wherein U can boil foods ! oh yeah`, u can’t really remove the bowels from the pond~ 🙂 fishes ate them all!

  16. munrok | 8:57 pm |

    By the time it took to read sign, I crapped oneself

  17. don | 8:54 am |

    i cant imagine someone taking a crap while yelling so loudly that other people get frightened ^_^

  18. Lala | 1:04 am |

    i dont want go to china anymore!!!

  19. TP | 9:29 am |

    Al Gore’s next crusade: Saving the toilenviromnent from disorderly painting.

  20. TP | 9:31 am |

    Doctor, the problem seems to be that I just Can not move bowels in the urine pond….can you help me?

  21. kevin | 9:53 pm |

    Maybe the Chinese are just trying to mess with us!!! creative, I is.

  22. Vyachislav | 2:57 pm |

    I knew a guy who know hard in toilet. He was gross.

  23. DrLex | 6:46 am |

    How am I supposed to place excrement in intestablishment if I’m not allowed to move my bowels?

  24. Kurt Hudson | 12:58 am |

    Respect the beard

  25. JD | 3:25 am |

    Where is the next closest loo ….. without a beard ….

  26. pauloo | 9:51 am |

    Boy, they sure do take many precautions against the occasional toilet boil, common among poor folk unable to access a soup kitchen or stove top to cook their meals.

  27. Clair | 6:56 pm |

    make a food that is take isedible? YUMMY!

  28. mike | 7:29 pm |

    Best Engrish ever! Completely and utterly baffling to the point of being surreal.

  29. Doff | 7:47 am |

    I will take these 11 rules to heart. I have no idea what the heck they are, but still. Looks like a lot of work went into them.

  30. MC | 12:36 pm |

    The 11 Commandments:
    1. Thou shalt have no others in toilet with thee
    2.Thou shalt wash feet in toilet after relieving waste
    3.Thou shalt not steal toilet
    4. Thou shalt not allow waste to leak out of toilet
    5. Thou shalt not scare others with loud noises
    6. Thou shalt not interfere with people relieving waste
    7. Thou shalt not prepare food in toilet
    8. Thou shalt not enter toilet with the sole purpose of bothering others.
    9. Thou shalt not paint on thy separating planks
    10.Thou shalt not release solid waste into urinals
    11. Observe these rules and keep them holy

  31. racist park | 5:16 am |

    My beard (even though I don’t have one) knows that this thing’s wrong.

  32. Skippy | 11:14 pm |

    Toilet Beard, wasn’t he on “Lord Of The Rings, The Two Toilets”?

  33. Chickentacos | 10:57 pm |

    “Damn, it won’t come out, hey Bill, get the jaws of life!”

  34. Chickentacos | 11:00 pm |

    Think I got some crap in my beard…

  35. elrem | 12:50 pm |

    i pee’d on my pants halfway through this while using my laptop at starbucks — god am i not glad im in toronto and not in china!

  36. Kate Shepherd | 8:11 pm |

    Oh no
    g2g, the coppahs pursuin’ cuz I
    moved my bowels in the urine the pond

  37. Curt Allred | 4:50 pm |

    Okay – some of these Engrish signs are somewhat legible, perhaps at best including parts where it’s completely nonsense. But this sign wins the prize for being 100% nonsense. Someone did (it seems) figure out what message each of these items is meant to convey, but this sign just totally stands out for its absolute abandon of reason, logic and grammar. Bravo!

  38. Mari-Ma | 12:52 pm |

    If you disobey, Toilet Beard will make you walk the plank…

  39. DragonLady | 3:19 pm |

    New Britflick: CARRY ON TOILET

  40. Bill Braskey | 2:57 pm |

    …but I can’t POOP unless I clamor loudly in the toilet!

  41. Zaphod | 5:41 am |

    …and no bloody singing!!!

  42. pyraetos | 7:06 pm |

    The last rule is to please read this beard…. Also, be sure to protect the toilenvironment!

  43. pete | 1:22 pm |

    I have a beard myself, but I’ve never thought I can read it… xxD

  44. Step 1: Read beard, know hard toilenvironment laws
    Step 2: Consult toiletlawyer
    Step 3: Sign a person only limited toilecontract
    Step 4: Remove bother and dissatisfied foot and place them near entrance
    Step 5: Paciently wait previous relievers to finish, re-read beard
    Step 6: Go into the toilet into the toilet
    Step 7: Release easy to not frighten next relievers
    Step 8: Place wise according to teachings
    Step 9: Shoot yourself a pic, place it on wall of confusion
    Step 10: Thank the beard thank the beard

  45. cvlkjzxhjkjhzx | 6:48 am |

    Ran this through google translate, English to Chinese, then back again, three times… got even more messed up.

    Know to the toilet beard
    The service of the bathroom there is a limit
    2 toilets, the only requirement in the outside toilet, can not meet the foot to the toilet bowel
    To to the toilet, toilet facilities, strictly lying on the prohibition of mobile toilets tools, it uses
    4, into the toilet beard on intestablishment feces tools, can not diffuse into the drain
    5, the toilet to be afraid of the toilet loudly into the toilet to prevent other noise.
    6, go to the toilet, can not interfere with the normal into the toilet and into the toilet,
    7, go to the toilet, not boiling, food consumption on the toilet, to prevent decomposition into a hard environment
    8, no person shall in any way, but a serious effort to toilet into a the toilet interference to prevent disperison concern.
    Please take care of public facilities should not be confused with the wooden walls of the Song and Dance Ensemble, write to draw the obstacles
    10, can not move the intestines urin pond
    11, please read the beard is difficult to know in the toilet, and follow the behavior

  46. bret vale | 1:21 am |

    i clamour loudly in to cause a person entering the toilet frighten or watever

  47. TheInterlang | 6:12 pm |

    Who calls a list of instructions a “beard”

  48. carry on | 3:55 pm |

    GO INTO
    TOILET
    and
    CARRY
    ON

  49. Seventy2rd o clock | 6:20 pm |

    Shortly:

    Go into the toilet. This toilet.

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