Be careful what you pick up…

posted on 21 Aug 2008 in Engrish from Other Countries

No really honey, I picked it up at the store…

Photo courtesy of Christopher Lees.
Found in a Riyadh Supermarket.

151 captions

  1. coffeebot | 6:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 52  Subtract rating 1  

    …but the recipe calls for gonorrhea

  2. coffeebot | 6:40 pm |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    and you thought the toilet seat was risky

  3. Dangevin | 12:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    I just picked up a fresh case!

  4. James Dylan | 8:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 18  Subtract rating 0  

    Excuse me, but where can I find the genital warts?

  5. BeadyEl | 10:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 22  Subtract rating 0  

    And only 95 cents! At the brothel they wanted a hundred bucks….

  6. ArkhamAsylum | 1:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    always wear protection, i mean always.

  7. B Question | 5:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Freshly picked!

  8. babblingqu | 7:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Just like grandma used to make!

  9. Nyna | 7:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Well at least they are fresh….

  10. Bhakti | 9:06 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “Honey, I’ll pick up a bushel of the Fresh Herpes—you go get the bottle of ‘DISINFECTED’.” (See previous Engrish photo!)

  11. Pete | 3:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    …and you know that fresh is best!!!

  12. Jason | 1:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    you can get the clap in asile 6. it’s next to the bread.

  13. Brandon | 4:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    You’ll eat them so fast, you’ll have herpes all over your face!

  14. Ghost08 | 8:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I much prefer the sun-dried herpes-they prove to be more …gummy.

  15. adr | 2:49 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    then you can get crabs at the seafood department

  16. Bob Waters | 8:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Cold sores in the dairy case

  17. sycareus | 1:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    as opposed to freeze dried? i believe fresh is more fun

  18. CM | 12:18 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Zithromax- ISLE 4

  19. Liz | 6:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Would you like some syphilis with those herpes?

  20. Christopher Arbizu | 4:32 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    For the virgin who just can’t get some.

  21. Christopher Arbizu | 4:33 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    For the guy who can’t get it the hard way…

  22. MidoriSkyJT | 7:41 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh perfect! Now we can have salad AND a dessert.

  23. lillylivers | 1:04 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    hmm….no wonder it was so cheap……

  24. Zoe | 1:09 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Husband to wife, I passed those herpes you brought home to you sister
    She asked if we could get anymore as the member of the PA at her daughters school had it too and wouls like to pass it on to there friends lmao.

  25. Kate | 2:48 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Wow, that woman on the corner wanted TWICE that price for some month old herpes!

  26. Pokejedservo | 8:27 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    What is this world coming to where you can get an STD for practically pocket change? I tell you its so depressing…

  27. James | 5:17 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Grown with love.

  28. nick | 5:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Reminds me of that joke-
    Whats green and eats nuts?
    Herpes

  29. Cat | 7:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    “Mommy, what’s herpes? Can I have some?”

    “No son, not till you’re older”…

  30. Anon | 2:45 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Yeah, it isn’t exactly flying off the shelves….

  31. patcap365 | 11:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    What a ripoff, it was cheaper in vegas

  32. Miss Echo | 6:38 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    canned herpes are on aisle 5

  33. Lynn | 9:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    After that, I’m going to the seafood department for crabs!

  34. SNOOKIE | 4:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    you could substitute dried instead, but fresh is always better

  35. arem | 9:52 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    c’mon! who would buy herpes?! 2bucks per bucket!!!

  36. Wes | 9:01 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    employee: sorry sir we won’t have any herpes for a while, it takes about 10 months to 10 years for them to show up.
    customer: dangit! looks like I’ll have to do this the old fasioned way.

  37. Trinity | 5:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Dangit, they’re all sold out now!

  38. Nightturkey | 5:34 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Hey, it’s cheaper than the anti-lust spray

  39. Lollerss | 2:04 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I wonder who grew it…

  40. Angela | 6:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    WHAT?? HERPES ON SALE FOR $.95??!?!?!?!

  41. Salman | 6:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’m Saudi and I live in Riyadh. I’ve never seen this supermarket before in my life. I’ve lived here for all my life. You sure this was Riyadh? Doesn’t look like it. It would be in Arabic if it was.

  42. Andrew Eia | 6:59 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I suppose we could get them just to try. Man I hope I can return them if they aren’t good.

  43. Peter | 11:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh goody!! Goes perfect with the salmonella steak I picked up at the butcher.

  44. Kevin Is Azn | 6:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Why get it from your sister when i can get it so cheap here?

  45. xploded_tb | 3:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I didn’t know herpes came cheap! xD

  46. Eli | 10:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    …and don’t miss our special sale on vaginismus!

  47. Comer | 2:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    ” Flare up on Isle 4, Flare up on Isle 4. ”

    ;o)

  48. Brice Dudley | 12:15 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Ok, we’ve found the fresh herpes….all we need now is the dehydrated vaginal warts.

  49. Julia | 12:48 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Honey I had to get the herpes. The Spring Onion wasn’t on sale”

  50. Ell | 10:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    great for anybody who wants to get sick. just serve it for dinner and after 24 hours you’ll be having lesions showing up on yourself in no time!

  51. Heather | 10:18 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Vegetables so infectious… your kids’ll be begging for more!

  52. F | 5:37 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    They should pair those herpes with a stand-up display of Abreva….

  53. ashley | 6:23 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    because fraish AIDS just won’t cut it

  54. Addmin | 3:35 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    How much “Fresh Herpies” can i get for a dollar?

  55. Simon des Baux | 1:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    And I thought it was onions that made you cry

  56. perstephan@gmail.com | 4:29 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    OR! … You could just lick the coins for free!

  57. Spazzy | 12:27 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I just love the lumps they leave on your tounge and that wholesome itchy taste

  58. sybil wee | 3:11 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    just what i always wanted in my salad

  59. cheesepickle | 7:15 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Get your herpes! Fresh herpes! Only 0.95! Come on, sir, you look like you could use some herpes! Only ninety-five cents!

  60. Sam | 10:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    95 cents? You can get fresh herpes from that hooker on the corner for free.

  61. Dr. D | 12:43 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Dude, herpes cost me much more than that. After dinner, movie, broken condom, followed by doctor’s appt then ointment . . . I’ve got hundreds invested in mine. And what worse, I can’t even use mine in a recipe.

  62. Belbe | 10:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I bet they’re not as fresh as the sign says!

  63. Matthew | 5:37 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    But they were on discount!

  64. yaka mashineh | 11:17 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If you want to grow your own fresh herpes year-round, the Chia Mini-countertop Herpes Gardens are back by the nursery.

    Always a nice touch to add fresh herpes to your favorite home cooked meals for that extra special occasion.

  65. James | 12:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    careful of those saladly transmitted diseases

  66. Robert Sumner | 1:08 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    $0.95 a pound?!? I can get it free form a hooker!!

  67. Jamie Brannon | 7:44 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    For your ex…

  68. a man who talk much | 10:09 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    buy seed, make herpes garden!
    for friend!
    for joy!
    for happy!

  69. Jacob | 9:18 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Darn these cheap Wal-mart veggies!

  70. lacy | 3:41 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    served with a side of chlamidiya

  71. Ree | 2:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Want to skip school? Despise somebody? go shopping or send them! Low, very low, stinky and despicable diseases guaranteed ;D

  72. Blu | 6:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Special of the day- Bird Flu!

  73. Puki | 11:42 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    at 95 cents per pound it’s a steal

  74. Purplehound | 1:50 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I can hear the commercial jingle in my head; “Ho, ho, ho… Green Giant!”

  75. TJ | 6:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Great! Now I can avoid a messy breakup with my girlfriend!

  76. Alaina | 8:15 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Then check out the crabs in the seafood department.

  77. daniel | 11:55 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    fresh and cheap yay i want buy plz

  78. jer0me | 12:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    n0 sexual interc0urse necessary..

  79. hi | 11:44 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll have herpes with a side of ebola

  80. Jrene | 7:25 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I remember when herpes was only $0.25 lbs.

  81. a kittah | 9:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    pfft AIDs are 50 cents cheaper down the aisle

  82. estrelika | 3:46 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    so that’s where it came from huh..

  83. chickenman | 7:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    mmmmmm…The Colonel’s secret blend of 11 Herpes and Spitties.

  84. Fietsbelle | 12:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Huray, herpes casserole tonight!

  85. Fietsbelle | 12:18 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    No, look at the color… not so fresh anymore… Let’s have the warts tonight.

  86. AndrewGoter | 8:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Finally. I’m tired of being conned into buying stale herpes.

  87. DeanAckles | 8:19 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    95c, the price of their hookers. It’s that or you have to pay the most to bone a spring onion

  88. Zach | 12:51 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh, and while you’re there, pick up some crabs…

  89. Nica | 12:11 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Honey, I have some bad news. I went to the doctor today and found out I have month old herpes”

    “Oh, why didn’t just go to the store? They have fresh herpes!”

  90. Andrew | 5:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Only 0.95$ that whore ripped me off!

  91. Justin | 7:27 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If allergic, substitute with AIDS.

  92. jody | 6:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    eat you’re herpes it will make you grow big and strong

  93. deviant_angel | 12:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    only 0.95! and it’s fresh! what a bargain!!!

  94. Coppola | 11:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    herpies:$0.95
    flowers:$10
    home cooked dinner:$20
    telling your gf that she has herpes
    …..priceless

  95. Mindwave | 5:00 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    lol @ the google ad for genital herpes. I wonder if they can compete with $0.95 Thats a bargain.

  96. angela | 2:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    What’s the point of buying herpes from a store when you get it free on the street?

  97. Amiel | 11:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    …. this will go well with the crab curry!!!

  98. Jackie Charlton | 9:40 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    hair piece?

  99. Jackie Charlton | 9:41 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Hair pies? Don’t miss it! It’s the cheapest thing on the menu.

  100. ninjakiwizace | 8:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    95 cents? same product, but cheaper for what you can get at a whore house

  101. bubbathesnubba | 2:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Wow they’re so cheap overseas! damn expensive domestic product!

  102. barsacampio | 3:00 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If you have to catch herpes, at least make sure it’s fresh!

  103. Matthew | 6:04 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    fleshly pricked!!

  104. sanjay | 4:04 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Bad Date

    1 cup fresh herpes
    8 oz. of chlamydia
    2 3/4 lbs. of freshy grated gonorrhea
    2 bottles of white zinfandel

    mix together with a dose of regret… happy times.

  105. Donny | 6:21 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    We need to bring fresh herpes, some crabs, and salmon-ella to Senator Fuk’s erection party. They’ll love it.

  106. fredrik | 8:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    can you tell me where I can find aids?

  107. neenz | 11:01 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “excuse me, are the fresh herpes local or imported?”
    “i’m not sure, let me ask the produce guy.”
    “could you? i need to know because depending on where they’re from i can just get some at home from the girl i brought home last night…thanks.”

  108. LoL Productions | 10:40 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh, come on, honey, but I ordered chlamydia!

  109. Rapidstriker9 | 3:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Riyadh brand herpes; now grown without preservatives!”

  110. Seigi | 7:40 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The next best to the manga 銀と金

  111. Dave | 9:07 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Great! Now I have the final ingredient for my Gonda-herpa-sypil-itus!

  112. Joseph Smith | 10:55 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Saudi is so cheap. You can never find fresh herpes at this price.

    Looks like Safeway near Fal center in Riyadh.

  113. K | 4:02 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Cross contamination goes a long way people

  114. drumming_panda | 5:42 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    THAT’S where STD’s originated!!

  115. Loolaa | 3:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Lol.. Herpes… I think it happened because “p” and “b” are interchangable in Arabic, so someone thought it would be a good idea to settle with p. And hilarity ensues.

  116. Jeff | 9:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Cause they ran out of chlamydia…

  117. Humalien | 9:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    damn!! And i just payed 1.95 for a pound of herpes!

  118. John van Rooyen | 3:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    is it better to use fresh or dried herpes for lasagne?

  119. chieromancer | 6:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    But are they organic?

  120. YoYO Word | 2:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    is is a coincidence ‘Herpes’ is the cheapest?…

  121. bikenutt | 9:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    they go well with the dried rape on isle three

  122. mickeygreeneyes | 9:12 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I had stale herpes once, and, ya know, this fresh stuff might just be delicious!

  123. Baker | 4:03 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Get ’em while you can! They burst into season twice a year, but unfortunately you never know exactly when they might appear….

  124. - | 8:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    0,95 only!

  125. FatKenney | 6:00 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    And all these years I’ve just been GIVING it away. If only I’d known there was a market for this stuff.

  126. helen | 10:38 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    nothing is safe anymore

  127. anonymous | 6:24 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    And I thought that the e coli spinach was bad…

  128. gMale | 11:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    *Fresh* — so much better the ones you get from a can.

  129. Rawr | 3:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Herpes:

    The full of flavour herb that makes a nice addition to salads. Farmed from proffesional hookers!

  130. charleee | 2:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    WOW! so cheap

  131. Kiwi | 3:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I hear Hugh Hefner will give you fresh herpes really cheap.

  132. Pete | 9:07 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    What a deal, only 0.95!

  133. worcirish | 6:21 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I know it starts with an H, but it is pronounced “erpies.”

  134. Mrdude | 9:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    the HIV is fresh too. It’s down the hall, next to the apple juice.

  135. loserbeep | 3:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    At last!!! I’ve been looking everywhere for these fresh herpes! and here they were at my local grocer the whole time with such an unbeatable price!

  136. Deina Lovecraft | 4:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Last week it was on sale along with some organic syphilis..

  137. Asian Shopper | 12:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I wouldn’t have got the Herpes, but the CONDOMents were sooo expensive…

  138. Cj | 1:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    You can get Chlamydia over buy the apples.

  139. Cj | 1:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    You can get Chlamydia over by the apples.

  140. hihihi | 8:10 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    read the fine print, people.

  141. takatomon | 11:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    that’s why you should never buy veggies wrapped in blister pack
    &
    cold sores… get your ice cold sores here!

  142. Lougem | 4:43 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Where can I find the crabs?

  143. Sharisa | 3:55 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    vegetableman not wash hand?

  144. davidfreakingbowie | 7:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I is the herpes anywhere close to the CONDOMents?

  145. iLock | 10:40 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Husband: “Oooohh fresh herpes is cheap today hun! Can I grab some?”
    Wife: *Stares wickedly and skakes head*

  146. DangerNathan | 8:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    but i dont have enough cash for the clap……..

  147. Andy | 11:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Grocery shopping made SIMPLEX…….

  148. nukefizzix | 10:40 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    That’s what you get when you pick up a 95 cent whore…

  149. Davey8 | 12:43 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Wow! Is that 95 cents for a lifetime supply?!?

  150. TitaniumGypsy | 8:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    OW! I cut myself. Any chance of band-AIDS?

  151. thedonger | 11:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Doctor: I’m afraid you’ve got a case of herpes.
    Patient: But I swear doc, I only picked up one bunch.

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