Can someone take me to the special arranged zone?
posted on 21 Oct 2008 in Chinglish
In other words, please don’t act Chinese here…
Photo courtesy of Kyle Neitzel.
Above caption is a joke – not to be taken seriously.
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…but officer, it didn’t SPECIFICALLY say I couldn’t bar-b-cue dog here!
This is a severe case of sumo wrestler discrimination.
Rule 7. Prohibit prohibiting.
Go release your bowels somewhere else!
Sorry kid, you’re not long enough. You’re gonna have to lay down, like that homeless guy over there.
Prohibit climbing the rockery. No hickory dickory dockery. And absolutely no cookery in your makery bakery crockery.
Is it OK to relieve my bowels in a single location?
I once caught Hydrophite. A course of Anti-biotics cured it though.
Thou shall obey and praise thy opening hours.
I’m not as long as 1.2 m, may I have the permission to enter?
May I have the permission to steer my vehicle to the right at the corner in front?
I thought barebacking was still okay at the zoo.
But if I can’t tease the avers, crickets and fish, what am I supposed to do at a park?
“Look daddy, I caught a business shop!” “Throw it back, it’s not an assigned business shop”
“Prohibit bareback or lying on the floor.” But doing it standing up while using a condom is okay.
There better not be any gleaning going on in this park, God help you.
But relieving the bowels somewhere is fine.
Oh how I love Communism.
Officer, it clearly states in rule number 6 to steer slowly. It says nothing about driving slowly. And besides, i wouldn’t of hit those people if i could of steered faster.
Prohibit proper English.
Chairman Mao will come after you if you break the rules.
….And Please,Enjoy Your Day at NoFunAtAll Memorial Park
Shanghai VIRESCENCE management board? Better bring your hand sanitizer.
“So, how was your trip to the zoo?”
I got thrown out for refusing to step on sidewalk cracks. Something about an ‘activity of superstition’ …
Oh, and I so wanted to set up my medical clinic in the park!
There’re the ten commandments, and then there are the lesser known six commandments of Shanghai Park.
No superstition here? After I walked all this way to burn money for Grandpa?
“Someone’s coming, hide the hat!”
Bowels, bowels everywhere, but no relief in sight!
I dread to think which part of the children needs to be 1.2 metres long
Okay, okay, no hat passing, but I don’t know how else we’re going to hold our Christmas name draw.
And anyone caught walking, or speaking in public, must be locked away.
Brian: actually, “virescence” means:
“–noun Botany.
state of becoming somewhat, though usually not totally, green, due to the abnormal presence of chlorophyll.”
Interesting way to look at the park management system, no?
How on earth does one set off the barbecue? Or the encampment for that matter? I’m picturing tents and grills shooting up into the air, to explode in a brilliantly colourful display of sausages, onions and tent pegs.
Is it OK to tickle the avers?
Haha, I’d love to know what they mean by “passing the hat”
Only very gifted avers, fish and crickets ever get assigned a business shop.
Okay, okay. I won’t empty my bowel everywhere. Just at this spot.
I need these hydrophites for practicing medicine. Oh, I see… But I’ve already got my stall set… Oh…
Awww! I love teasing avers!
Can I bring my own animals if they’ve been assigned their own business shops too?
No, officer we followed all the rules, we did not tease any avers or crickets or fish, wash clothes, empty bowels, or set off fireworks or encampments, we played no soccer and flew no kites………..we just buried this dead body……………there’s no rule against THAT is there?
“Prohibit teasing or catching the avers, cricket, and fish (except those assigned business shops).”
So, is this where the Mole Crickets from MOTHER3 finally made their sales business foothold?
“Prohibit climbing the rockery…”
No climb rockery!!
“Prohibit relieving the bowels everywhere”.
Aw, man! I REALLY wanted to cover everything with my poo!
So….Does that mean ANIMALS can’t relieve their bowels either? HOMG!!! What are they going to do? *Officer catches a bird, “Aha caught you you fiend….law prohibits the emptying of the bowels…” and the bird looks at him…*
Don’t worry, I’m only going to relieve the bowels here, not EVERYWHERE.
A list of the ALLOWED activities would be far shorter
Oh no ! … I could spend my whole weekend commenting on this one.
Sorry I broke your leg when I steered slowly into you, but I can’t help you! Practicing medicine is prohibited!
ummm…so…. just where exactly is the “specified assigned zone” for flying kites anyways?
If I could only stop relieving my bowels and scribbling everywhere…. A man can dream…
They assign crickets and fish business shops in China? No wonder their economy is in the red.
now try to say all of that in laments.
Rule 7. There is NO Rule 7.
I’m sure I won’t relieve my bowels EVERYWHERE……. Maybe on that homeless man illegally laying on his back.
“But, can I play the soccer NEAR the rockery?”
its amazing how Japan and China, a couple of the most technologically advanced countries with possibly the hardest working and smartest people alive, can screw up translations. they are super intelligent in the dumbest possible way.
“Well kids, it looks like we’ll have to find another park to detonate our explosives. Sorry!”
So, can a child under 1.2m and a person with mental problems enter together?
SMACK DOWN to those catch hydrophyte!
“officer, I was bothering the avers, crickets, and fish at the assigned business shops!”
… and thank you for visiting the Fun Memorial Park, where Fun died.
@Tommy: I’d imagine “passing the hat” refers to street performers collecting money after their show.