This place is only moderately hospitable…
posted on 14 Oct 2008 in Engrish from Other Countries
Photo courtesy of Kristoffer Sjoo.
From a German hotel’s welcome folder.
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Reminds old USSR secret services (KGB, NKVD) interrogation methods.
Look at this needle very carfully, Mr. Smith, it could be the last needle you ever see….
Knit me a sweater or die.
I don’t care you said ‘please’… I’m not going to ask…
Ve don’t like it ven you lose your buttons
Receptionist: Take the damn needle or else!
Must be an “Enhanced Crocheting Technique.”
Our receptionists are experts in threatening
It is actually supposed to read “Belittle & Threat”
You better not loses another button mister, or else the next needle you get is going to be made out of bone… Thank you for staying with us! *smile/wink*
Our wake-up-call service: We can needle you or threaten you into getting out of bed.
Children under 18 must be accompanied by an adult to receive threat
If you don’t ask, the alternative will be “Doctor and agony”.
The new check-out policy sounds a little iffy…
Yeah, I went there and asked at the reception for a needle and threat. She asked me which I wanted first. I said give me the threat. So she said if I didn’t ask again for the needle first she was going to stab me in the neck with her pen. So I asked for the needle. She said I was a wimp and such a pushover that not only do I do whatever people tell me, I even do whatever signs tell me, and that if I wanted more needling it was going to cost me extra. I said no thanks and got a massage by the elevator to soothe me. I’ll never stay there again.
And yet, Pech, you still gave that hotel 4 stars. She really got to you…
SEW UP THE HOLE IN MY PANTS OR THE BITCH DIES.
Either you pay up or this is the last time that you ever see your children!
The threat: “You’ll poke your eye out if you aren’t careful!”
Here’s your needle Sir… And you’d better not F#(&!’N loose it!
OR
This is the kinkiest damnd hotel I’ve ever seen!
If you ask me for a needle one more time…!
I ALWAYS save needle threats for last. Oh, so comfy.
What service. Massages are located by the elevator in direction indoor swimming. Free needle and threat only today-be sure to ask the receptionist! And if you kids mess up your room, don’t worry. You’ll have to stop at 12. What service!
at the hotel entrance: step in at your own risk.
(Husband wipes forehead): “Those receptionists sure know how to bargain…”
“I’d give you this Needle, but then I’d have to kill you…”
which direction do i go in to get my needle and threat?
oh you go indoor swimming the elevator and then take a left
I will sew up that hole OR ELSE!
“Hello. I am here for the needle and treat. What? Oh that is just rubbish. What are you Germans going to do next? Start a war? Invade Poland and France? I bet you won’t.”
Wait, what’s the needle for?
Must threaten before we suppry the drugs otherwise..no drugs
Oh, I get it. It’s a typo. They meant to say “Messages”
needle wiyhout a threat !! at your own risk