Waiter, this tastes like — oh never-mind…

posted on 4 Nov 2008 in Engrish from Other Countries, Menus

Just like my ballot choices: all crap!

 

Photo courtesy of Andrew Drysdale.
Menu found at restaurant in Saigon, Vietnam. 

134 captions

  1. Breefolk | 12:26 am |

    This is the crappiest restaurant I’ve ever been to.

  2. Ellen | 1:04 am |

    The food’s awful, but at least they’re polite!

  3. Mmmmm | 1:29 am |

    crap your hands for the chef if you liked this delicious meal

  4. Brandon | 2:09 am |

    I’ll try the Boston Steamer.

  5. Meli | 2:15 am |

    Trust me– you’ll want it with the beer.

  6. Haha. | 2:20 am |

    Well, I suppose it’s true when they say, “What goes in, comes back out”… very easy to predict what the menu writers have been eating… lots of crap..

  7. coffeebot | 2:31 am |

    “Squid fried Shrimps”
    I honestly don’t see what everyone is laughing about.

  8. SamuraiJack | 3:37 am |

    What a ripoff! The red crap is 100,000VND more expensive than the usual crap.

  9. algernon | 3:52 am |

    Crap with beer. Any chance of dinner and a show.

  10. beechoak | 4:59 am |

    “Do you have Steamed Crap with Mary Ann?”

  11. beechoak | 5:00 am |

    Not in the mood for beer tonight… what wine would you suggest?

  12. Mr Mojo Risin | 5:15 am |

    I usually have the beer the night before and the steamed crap the next morning.

  13. Risu | 6:06 am |

    Steamed Crap, mmm mmm good. Who eats Steamed Carp anymore?

  14. Dominic Small | 6:21 am |

    “Hey Salvatore, give-a the ugly kid a plate of the red crap!”

  15. Eric G | 6:42 am |

    Wait a minute, this Chardonnay tastes like …..
    I hope my entree tastes better.

  16. Eric G | 6:43 am |

    Two girls, one plate.

  17. Someone46545 | 7:11 am |

    “Waiter! There are a bunch of flies on my crap!”
    “That costs extra!”

  18. beechoak | 7:28 am |

    Kids’ Menu: Crappy Meal with prize

  19. Yogesh Damle | 8:00 am |

    And please go easy on the garlic, it gives a bad breath!

  20. Chris | 8:01 am |

    But it’s really good crap!

  21. Bill Sornson | 8:25 am |

    Crap…I can’t decide.

  22. Stefan | 8:29 am |

    Crap your hands together!

  23. Bill | 9:12 am |

    No I asked for the Pan Fried pile of Crap…

  24. Brian | 9:17 am |

    ‘Ey Luigi! Another plate-a da red crap!

  25. BeadyEl | 9:19 am |

    No thanks, I’m on a low-crap diet.

  26. BeadyEl | 9:21 am |

    I guess this one is fairly appropriate for (the US) election day…

  27. Brian | 9:28 am |

    “Waiter! This can’t be right – are you really selling excrement as food?”

    “Heavens no! It’s actually CARP – a huge, ugly, bottom-feeding fish.”

    “Whew! You had me worried there for a second…”

  28. Brian | 9:31 am |

    Seconds? No thanks. I’ve had all the crap I can take. I’m already so full of crap I may explode…

  29. Poisonus Gus | 10:07 am |

    But I usually take my steamed red crap the morning after drinking beer.

  30. engrishwebmaster | 10:38 am |

    NOTE: The ‘crap’ in the menu most likely refers to “crab”, not “carp”.

  31. coffeebot | 10:58 am |

    Tomorrow’s Special: the Runs

  32. Eric G | 11:50 am |

    Ooh, this one comes with corn.

  33. WeirdoBc | 1:00 pm |

    And here I came to eat Crabs….oh well…

  34. Pyth007 | 1:17 pm |

    Economics 101: Supply and Demand. When demand for a product is low, price must be set higher in order to recover costs on the few sales you do achieve. For example, if you plan to sell crap in a restaurant, it should be priced at ten-times as much as the seafood!

  35. Nutz | 1:38 pm |

    Dirty Sanchez would approve.

  36. ChillinCharlie | 2:32 pm |

    Surprised no-one made a blood joke….. “red crap”

  37. ChillinCharlie | 2:34 pm |

    Waiter this Steamed Red Crap with Ginger taste bloody awf… wait a second!!!

  38. stacy | 2:48 pm |

    can i get mine on a cracker?

  39. babblingqu | 3:35 pm |

    I love their crappy food, but I usually enjoy it more with Baby and Sporty.

  40. Eric G | 9:56 pm |

    Sir, we’re a little ‘backed up’ with the crap with cheese, would you like to change your order?

  41. Patrick | 11:03 pm |

    At least it’s served fresh…

  42. algernon | 12:39 am |

    Whats the difference between crap and red crap

  43. McGheezer | 9:18 am |

    If you’re gonna eat unhealthy crap, I say go all the way and fry it. Deep Fried Crap – now that’s good eats!

  44. Brandon | 11:18 am |

    I never go to this restaurant anymore. I’m sick of their crap.

  45. Tdog | 11:30 am |

    Could I have the trouser chili with a crusty roll and a nut log? And if you could put some butt mustard on it…

  46. Eric G | 2:34 pm |

    algernon | 12:39 am | Vote: Add rating 1 Subtract rating 1

    Whats the difference between crap and red crap

    ———————————————-

    The red crap was created with an overdose of V8

  47. Rayquaza | 6:20 pm |

    I guess McDonald’s finally ran out of food names that hide the truth.

  48. Brandon | 4:36 am |

    I ate there once and got a bad case of the craps.

  49. doompiggy | 9:28 am |

    I prefer my crap fried, thank you very much.

  50. Andrew | 10:49 am |

    Oh, yuck, it’s steamed! That’s disgusting!

  51. Brian | 11:32 am |

    “Cua gach” ?? Apparently, this is Klingon food…

  52. SadPanda | 6:18 pm |

    Most beer fans prefer a steaming crap after their drink.

  53. Marg | 8:34 pm |

    An excerpt from the menu in a certain Sydney eastern suburb……

  54. TMI Services Inc. | 6:03 pm |

    So… no one finds it quite ironic that right under the “crap” category there’s a line of text saying “HAVE A GOOD MEAL”?

  55. madnicky | 2:16 am |

    This is the menu from Coogee Bay Hotel in Sydney

  56. Stephan | 9:43 am |

    Got pee?

  57. Stephan | 9:47 am |

    I’d rather have “Red Crap” than “Gach hâp gu’ung”

  58. Roger Wilco | 10:37 am |

    “Excuse me, waiter? I distinctively ordered mine without corn”.

  59. Jessy | 10:12 am |

    Full of what we all need!

  60. hocogal | 9:36 pm |

    looks like a big craps shoot :-\

  61. some guy | 1:48 pm |

    this place smells

  62. jim | 12:49 am |

    ya might wanna consider that if they are serving crap there is a strong
    possibility they are serving used beer too.

  63. beechoak | 1:50 pm |

    Hey, Waiter! There’s a fly in my crap!

  64. Yogesh Damle | 10:21 am |

    Our crap is served in the finest bone-china bowels! :)

  65. Christopher Arbizu | 9:31 pm |

    Because school lunch is not just for school anymore!

  66. Christopher Arbizu | 9:34 pm |

    Served with corn and toilet water!

  67. Mark A | 7:05 am |

    New! Now garnished wish fresh herpes

  68. munchy365 | 11:03 am |

    Is red crap supposed to be bloody or something?

  69. Daruma3 | 6:25 pm |

    what the crab?

  70. Jerry Meandering | 12:50 pm |

    McD*nalds Marketing Departments’ first try at Vietnams strict “Truth In Advertising” law.

  71. Belbe | 10:33 am |

    You’re telling me you don’t sell Steamed Blue Crap with Ginger?!?

  72. Jamie Brannon | 8:12 am |

    This is al because the Vietnemese government told all food places that they needed to list the ingredients of food. To late did they realize that it was bad for Western Tourism

  73. me | 6:48 pm |

    I love how after listing so much steamed poop on the menu, it says, “HAVE A GOOD MEAL!”

    ☃

  74. Belbe | 2:14 pm |

    Hmm think I’ll pass….where’s the fried crap menu?

  75. halfasemitone | 3:35 pm |

    Is this restaurant eat out or take in?

  76. a man who talk much | 10:10 pm |

    tasty tasty!
    fresh extracted!
    clean from notkitchen!

  77. Commanderbeatdown | 10:49 pm |

    I’ll have a # 2.

  78. -w- | 6:14 pm |

    I like to play craps without food.

  79. Justice | 1:40 am |

    Hope there’ll be breath mints afterwards.

  80. Julia | 5:08 pm |

    What!? No deep fried crap? Dang………I guess i’ll have the steamed crap with beer instead.

  81. Blu | 6:57 pm |

    This must be a dog restaurant.

  82. V. | 8:06 pm |

    Want flies with that?

  83. TJ | 8:00 pm |

    Fresh from the “oven”.

  84. bobthedonutman | 10:20 pm |

    too bad they don’t have a poo-poo platter.

  85. A. | 12:47 am |

    I wonder if it’s made fresh while you watch, like at Subway

  86. RJN | 5:41 pm |

    Forget about the buns in the oven, the buns ARE the oven…

  87. dave | 5:42 pm |

    Waitress:
    Well, there’s egg and bacon,
    egg sausage and bacon
    Egg and crap
    Egg, bacon and crap
    Egg, bacon, sausage and crap
    Crap, bacon, sausage and crap
    Crap, egg, crap, crap, bacon and crap
    Crap, sausage, crap, crap, crap, bacon, crap, tomato and crap
    Crap, crap, crap, egg and crap
    Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, baked beans, crap, crap, crap and crap.

    Or Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce
    served in a provencale manner with shallots and aubergines
    garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top and crap.

  88. UU | 8:01 am |

    Now that’s a lot of crap!

  89. j | 1:01 am |

    Eat, Crap, and Die! It finally makes sense!

  90. hi | 11:41 pm |

    I’ll have the crap and shlimp plate

  91. a kittah | 9:47 pm |

    woah RED crap!

  92. jeremy t | 3:16 pm |

    the red crap is the worst…

  93. Rags | 8:48 am |

    If you’re happy and you know it, crap your hands.

  94. jimson | 7:09 am |

    I don’t feel like beer tonight. Can I have a dog-turd and tonic?

  95. chickenman | 7:01 am |

    Yes, it’s all crap food.

  96. chickenman | 7:03 am |

    It really all boils down to 1001 Ways to Cook the Same Old Crap.

  97. Azn_Death_Crapp. | 7:11 pm |

    Wat about Steamed Crap with Pee?

  98. Ghost08 | 2:16 pm |

    i suppose this is the closest we’ve come to truth in advertising

  99. Lloyd | 7:58 pm |

    my friend recomended this place, little did i realize he’s into scat

  100. Amy | 2:53 pm |

    They’ve finally read one of the reviews…

  101. DeanAckles | 8:40 pm |

    Food fights in this restaurant will have some dire consequences…

  102. BSting | 4:18 am |

    chef: do you like it? i made it meself. all natural, organic and fresh out the oven (a.k.a. my blue jean sitter)

  103. lkmjr | 6:36 pm |

    “So, waiter, what makes the red crap red?”
    “Oh, funny story about that, actually. You see, the chef was testing his newest creation, used razor, deep-fried with a urine sauce….”

  104. Soreal_Family | 5:33 pm |

    :] Uhhhhh…Uhhhh…. Bananas. [:

  105. Russ | 4:21 pm |

    the crap mellows the intensity of the ginger

  106. Brett | 8:10 am |

    Now with a generous serving of bread but remember “the more bread you have the less crap you have to eat”

  107. fendo | 7:26 pm |

    guys, do you really think it is actually a beer?

  108. tony | 7:54 pm |

    Is it very convenient for you to get the ingredient?

  109. Luna | 10:09 pm |

    I hope it didn’t come out of an elephant. Or, of the “Oven” had a little issue with its water levels.

  110. Tiny_Taquito | 7:19 pm |

    Sorry, we’re all out of red crap today…the chef refilled his hemmorhoids medication prescription.

  111. iesuka.itami | 8:08 pm |

    “And how would you like your crap? Red or steamed?”
    “Oh gee, they both sound so appetizing. Give me some Steamed Red Crap with Beer! I feel like a vamppie”

  112. heg | 11:55 am |

    Let me order some steamed crap ginger and can I have some chopped vegetarians as a side dish? lol

  113. Kenku | 1:35 pm |

    I’ll have the steamed red crap with ginger and a side of… High explosive frag grenades.

  114. Anniki | 7:52 pm |

    Can i get some terds on top of my crap?

  115. sandra | 4:43 am |

    I’ll have the squid fried shrimps, everything else is just crap.

  116. Cliff | 8:17 pm |

    Tastes like chicken?

  117. Phil G. | 9:09 am |

    That’s a Vietnamese delicacy, the Mekong Brown Trout (Scatus vulgaris), a sausage-shaped fish found in the Mekong River. It’s American cousin, the Susquehanna Brown Trout, is found in Pennsylvania, where the locals call it the Common Jimmyfloater. Can we order white eels (Gumma trojana) with that?

  118. Phil G. | 2:27 pm |

    Do they serve that with shittake mushrooms?

  119. Hikari | 4:08 am |

    It’s all crap…

  120. NOP | 12:12 pm |

    Yeah waiter, I’ll have a glass of original ass drink with a side of steamed crap. Don’t forget the fried turd seasoning…….

  121. John Bartel | 10:28 am |

    You can buy the recipe for 20,000 VND/K

  122. Sim | 3:22 am |

    This is the best restaurant ever, not!

  123. Halfasin | 9:55 am |

    Did anyone notice the fried entree is TEN TIMES CHEAPER?! Squid labor must be really cheap. Wonder what human fried shrimp costs?

  124. Power | 8:55 pm |

    And they say Have a Good Meal!!!

  125. Neals | 8:38 am |

    You know, really, crap is crap, who cares as long as it’s human.

  126. Kelvin | 9:43 pm |

    I bet Beer tastes good with red crap… Wait, aren’t those hemorrhoids?

  127. cahsobo | 2:18 am |

    so it’s legal to sell craps in vietnam?

  128. Rat | 9:20 am |

    I’ll eat anything if it goes with beer

  129. Jescoe White | 12:13 pm |

    No thanks. I don’t eat anything that’s been steamed.

  130. ack | 8:43 am |

    So this is what they make from Clean Blue Crap

  131. MKCyrax | 11:52 pm |

    Wow
    My Country is serving Craps

  132. Roj | 8:18 am |

    I hate it when I get crap in my teeth

  133. hihihi | 12:34 pm |

    that’s the crappiest resturaunt ever… the waiter charged me $20.00 for that crap!

  134. Redd's Greene | 9:42 pm |

    Waiter! Waiter! Besides the red crap, do you also sell the saliva chicken? No? This place is nothing but crap!

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