Waiter, this tastes like — oh never-mind…

posted on 4 Nov 2008 in Engrish from Other Countries, Menus

Just like my ballot choices: all crap!

 

Photo courtesy of Andrew Drysdale.
Menu found at restaurant in Saigon, Vietnam. 

134 captions

  1. Breefolk | 12:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This is the crappiest restaurant I’ve ever been to.

  2. Ellen | 1:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The food’s awful, but at least they’re polite!

  3. Mmmmm | 1:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    crap your hands for the chef if you liked this delicious meal

  4. Brandon | 2:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll try the Boston Steamer.

  5. Meli | 2:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Trust me– you’ll want it with the beer.

  6. Haha. | 2:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Well, I suppose it’s true when they say, “What goes in, comes back out”… very easy to predict what the menu writers have been eating… lots of crap..

  7. coffeebot | 2:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Squid fried Shrimps”
    I honestly don’t see what everyone is laughing about.

  8. SamuraiJack | 3:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    What a ripoff! The red crap is 100,000VND more expensive than the usual crap.

  9. algernon | 3:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Crap with beer. Any chance of dinner and a show.

  10. beechoak | 4:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Do you have Steamed Crap with Mary Ann?”

  11. beechoak | 5:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Not in the mood for beer tonight… what wine would you suggest?

  12. Mr Mojo Risin | 5:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I usually have the beer the night before and the steamed crap the next morning.

  13. Risu | 6:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Steamed Crap, mmm mmm good. Who eats Steamed Carp anymore?

  14. Dominic Small | 6:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Hey Salvatore, give-a the ugly kid a plate of the red crap!”

  15. Eric G | 6:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Wait a minute, this Chardonnay tastes like …..
    I hope my entree tastes better.

  16. Eric G | 6:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Two girls, one plate.

  17. Someone46545 | 7:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Waiter! There are a bunch of flies on my crap!”
    “That costs extra!”

  18. beechoak | 7:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Kids’ Menu: Crappy Meal with prize

  19. Yogesh Damle | 8:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    And please go easy on the garlic, it gives a bad breath!

  20. Chris | 8:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    But it’s really good crap!

  21. Bill Sornson | 8:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Crap…I can’t decide.

  22. Stefan | 8:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Crap your hands together!

  23. Bill | 9:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    No I asked for the Pan Fried pile of Crap…

  24. Brian | 9:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    ‘Ey Luigi! Another plate-a da red crap!

  25. BeadyEl | 9:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    No thanks, I’m on a low-crap diet.

  26. BeadyEl | 9:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I guess this one is fairly appropriate for (the US) election day…

  27. Brian | 9:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Waiter! This can’t be right – are you really selling excrement as food?”

    “Heavens no! It’s actually CARP – a huge, ugly, bottom-feeding fish.”

    “Whew! You had me worried there for a second…”

  28. Brian | 9:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Seconds? No thanks. I’ve had all the crap I can take. I’m already so full of crap I may explode…

  29. Poisonus Gus | 10:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    But I usually take my steamed red crap the morning after drinking beer.

  30. engrishwebmaster | 10:38 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    NOTE: The ‘crap’ in the menu most likely refers to “crab”, not “carp”.

  31. coffeebot | 10:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Tomorrow’s Special: the Runs

  32. Eric G | 11:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Ooh, this one comes with corn.

  33. WeirdoBc | 1:00 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    And here I came to eat Crabs….oh well…

  34. Pyth007 | 1:17 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Economics 101: Supply and Demand. When demand for a product is low, price must be set higher in order to recover costs on the few sales you do achieve. For example, if you plan to sell crap in a restaurant, it should be priced at ten-times as much as the seafood!

  35. Nutz | 1:38 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Dirty Sanchez would approve.

  36. ChillinCharlie | 2:32 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Surprised no-one made a blood joke….. “red crap”

  37. ChillinCharlie | 2:34 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Waiter this Steamed Red Crap with Ginger taste bloody awf… wait a second!!!

  38. stacy | 2:48 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    can i get mine on a cracker?

  39. babblingqu | 3:35 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I love their crappy food, but I usually enjoy it more with Baby and Sporty.

  40. Eric G | 9:56 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Sir, we’re a little ‘backed up’ with the crap with cheese, would you like to change your order?

  41. Patrick | 11:03 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    At least it’s served fresh…

  42. algernon | 12:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Whats the difference between crap and red crap

  43. McGheezer | 9:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If you’re gonna eat unhealthy crap, I say go all the way and fry it. Deep Fried Crap – now that’s good eats!

  44. Brandon | 11:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I never go to this restaurant anymore. I’m sick of their crap.

  45. Tdog | 11:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Could I have the trouser chili with a crusty roll and a nut log? And if you could put some butt mustard on it…

  46. Eric G | 2:34 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    algernon | 12:39 am | Vote: Add rating 1 Subtract rating 1

    Whats the difference between crap and red crap

    ———————————————-

    The red crap was created with an overdose of V8

  47. Rayquaza | 6:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I guess McDonald’s finally ran out of food names that hide the truth.

  48. Brandon | 4:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I ate there once and got a bad case of the craps.

  49. doompiggy | 9:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I prefer my crap fried, thank you very much.

  50. Andrew | 10:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh, yuck, it’s steamed! That’s disgusting!

  51. Brian | 11:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Cua gach” ?? Apparently, this is Klingon food…

  52. SadPanda | 6:18 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Most beer fans prefer a steaming crap after their drink.

  53. Marg | 8:34 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    An excerpt from the menu in a certain Sydney eastern suburb……

  54. TMI Services Inc. | 6:03 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    So… no one finds it quite ironic that right under the “crap” category there’s a line of text saying “HAVE A GOOD MEAL”?

  55. madnicky | 2:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This is the menu from Coogee Bay Hotel in Sydney

  56. Stephan | 9:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Got pee?

  57. Stephan | 9:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’d rather have “Red Crap” than “Gach hâp gu’ung”

  58. Roger Wilco | 10:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Excuse me, waiter? I distinctively ordered mine without corn”.

  59. Jessy | 10:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Full of what we all need!

  60. hocogal | 9:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    looks like a big craps shoot :-\

  61. some guy | 1:48 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    this place smells

  62. jim | 12:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    ya might wanna consider that if they are serving crap there is a strong
    possibility they are serving used beer too.

  63. beechoak | 1:50 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Hey, Waiter! There’s a fly in my crap!

  64. Yogesh Damle | 10:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Our crap is served in the finest bone-china bowels! :)

  65. Christopher Arbizu | 9:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Because school lunch is not just for school anymore!

  66. Christopher Arbizu | 9:34 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Served with corn and toilet water!

  67. Mark A | 7:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    New! Now garnished wish fresh herpes

  68. munchy365 | 11:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Is red crap supposed to be bloody or something?

  69. Daruma3 | 6:25 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    what the crab?

  70. Jerry Meandering | 12:50 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    McD*nalds Marketing Departments’ first try at Vietnams strict “Truth In Advertising” law.

  71. Belbe | 10:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    You’re telling me you don’t sell Steamed Blue Crap with Ginger?!?

  72. Jamie Brannon | 8:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This is al because the Vietnemese government told all food places that they needed to list the ingredients of food. To late did they realize that it was bad for Western Tourism

  73. me | 6:48 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I love how after listing so much steamed poop on the menu, it says, “HAVE A GOOD MEAL!”

    ☃

  74. Belbe | 2:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Hmm think I’ll pass….where’s the fried crap menu?

  75. halfasemitone | 3:35 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Is this restaurant eat out or take in?

  76. a man who talk much | 10:10 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    tasty tasty!
    fresh extracted!
    clean from notkitchen!

  77. Commanderbeatdown | 10:49 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll have a # 2.

  78. -w- | 6:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I like to play craps without food.

  79. Justice | 1:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Hope there’ll be breath mints afterwards.

  80. Julia | 5:08 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    What!? No deep fried crap? Dang………I guess i’ll have the steamed crap with beer instead.

  81. Blu | 6:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This must be a dog restaurant.

  82. V. | 8:06 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Want flies with that?

  83. TJ | 8:00 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Fresh from the “oven”.

  84. bobthedonutman | 10:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    too bad they don’t have a poo-poo platter.

  85. A. | 12:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I wonder if it’s made fresh while you watch, like at Subway

  86. RJN | 5:41 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Forget about the buns in the oven, the buns ARE the oven…

  87. dave | 5:42 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Waitress:
    Well, there’s egg and bacon,
    egg sausage and bacon
    Egg and crap
    Egg, bacon and crap
    Egg, bacon, sausage and crap
    Crap, bacon, sausage and crap
    Crap, egg, crap, crap, bacon and crap
    Crap, sausage, crap, crap, crap, bacon, crap, tomato and crap
    Crap, crap, crap, egg and crap
    Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, baked beans, crap, crap, crap and crap.

    Or Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce
    served in a provencale manner with shallots and aubergines
    garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top and crap.

  88. UU | 8:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Now that’s a lot of crap!

  89. j | 1:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Eat, Crap, and Die! It finally makes sense!

  90. hi | 11:41 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll have the crap and shlimp plate

  91. a kittah | 9:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    woah RED crap!

  92. jeremy t | 3:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    the red crap is the worst…

  93. Rags | 8:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If you’re happy and you know it, crap your hands.

  94. jimson | 7:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I don’t feel like beer tonight. Can I have a dog-turd and tonic?

  95. chickenman | 7:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Yes, it’s all crap food.

  96. chickenman | 7:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    It really all boils down to 1001 Ways to Cook the Same Old Crap.

  97. Azn_Death_Crapp. | 7:11 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Wat about Steamed Crap with Pee?

  98. Ghost08 | 2:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    i suppose this is the closest we’ve come to truth in advertising

  99. Lloyd | 7:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    my friend recomended this place, little did i realize he’s into scat

  100. Amy | 2:53 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    They’ve finally read one of the reviews…

  101. DeanAckles | 8:40 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Food fights in this restaurant will have some dire consequences…

  102. BSting | 4:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    chef: do you like it? i made it meself. all natural, organic and fresh out the oven (a.k.a. my blue jean sitter)

  103. lkmjr | 6:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “So, waiter, what makes the red crap red?”
    “Oh, funny story about that, actually. You see, the chef was testing his newest creation, used razor, deep-fried with a urine sauce….”

  104. Soreal_Family | 5:33 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    :] Uhhhhh…Uhhhh…. Bananas. [:

  105. Russ | 4:21 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    the crap mellows the intensity of the ginger

  106. Brett | 8:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Now with a generous serving of bread but remember “the more bread you have the less crap you have to eat”

  107. fendo | 7:26 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    guys, do you really think it is actually a beer?

  108. tony | 7:54 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Is it very convenient for you to get the ingredient?

  109. Luna | 10:09 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I hope it didn’t come out of an elephant. Or, of the “Oven” had a little issue with its water levels.

  110. Tiny_Taquito | 7:19 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Sorry, we’re all out of red crap today…the chef refilled his hemmorhoids medication prescription.

  111. iesuka.itami | 8:08 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “And how would you like your crap? Red or steamed?”
    “Oh gee, they both sound so appetizing. Give me some Steamed Red Crap with Beer! I feel like a vamppie”

  112. heg | 11:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Let me order some steamed crap ginger and can I have some chopped vegetarians as a side dish? lol

  113. Kenku | 1:35 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll have the steamed red crap with ginger and a side of… High explosive frag grenades.

  114. Anniki | 7:52 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Can i get some terds on top of my crap?

  115. sandra | 4:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll have the squid fried shrimps, everything else is just crap.

  116. Cliff | 8:17 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Tastes like chicken?

  117. Phil G. | 9:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    That’s a Vietnamese delicacy, the Mekong Brown Trout (Scatus vulgaris), a sausage-shaped fish found in the Mekong River. It’s American cousin, the Susquehanna Brown Trout, is found in Pennsylvania, where the locals call it the Common Jimmyfloater. Can we order white eels (Gumma trojana) with that?

  118. Phil G. | 2:27 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Do they serve that with shittake mushrooms?

  119. Hikari | 4:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    It’s all crap…

  120. NOP | 12:12 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Yeah waiter, I’ll have a glass of original ass drink with a side of steamed crap. Don’t forget the fried turd seasoning…….

  121. John Bartel | 10:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    You can buy the recipe for 20,000 VND/K

  122. Sim | 3:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This is the best restaurant ever, not!

  123. Halfasin | 9:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Did anyone notice the fried entree is TEN TIMES CHEAPER?! Squid labor must be really cheap. Wonder what human fried shrimp costs?

  124. Power | 8:55 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    And they say Have a Good Meal!!!

  125. Neals | 8:38 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    You know, really, crap is crap, who cares as long as it’s human.

  126. Kelvin | 9:43 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I bet Beer tastes good with red crap… Wait, aren’t those hemorrhoids?

  127. cahsobo | 2:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    so it’s legal to sell craps in vietnam?

  128. Rat | 9:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll eat anything if it goes with beer

  129. Jescoe White | 12:13 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    No thanks. I don’t eat anything that’s been steamed.

  130. ack | 8:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    So this is what they make from Clean Blue Crap

  131. MKCyrax | 11:52 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Wow
    My Country is serving Craps

  132. Roj | 8:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I hate it when I get crap in my teeth

  133. hihihi | 12:34 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    that’s the crappiest resturaunt ever… the waiter charged me $20.00 for that crap!

  134. Redd's Greene | 9:42 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Waiter! Waiter! Besides the red crap, do you also sell the saliva chicken? No? This place is nothing but crap!

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