Just the essentials…

posted on 12 Jan 2009 in Chinglish

 

Photo courtesy of Kevin Dauphinee.
Sign found in Beijing, China.  

49 captions

  1. Sparkly Boof | 3:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Ten percent off for all card-carrying pimps, ho’s and tranny’s!

  2. GuitART | 3:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    For the idiot handyman.

  3. Yogesh Damle | 3:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Excuse me, which isle has marijuana? I went around the LSD stacks and ended up here!”

  4. Almost April | 3:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Sales EVERY DAY of the week! Something for EVERYONE!
    Check out our:
    Manic Monday’s
    Tremor Tuesday’s
    Wacked-Out Wednesday’s
    Tourniquet Thursday’s
    Fry-Days
    Syringe Saturday’s
    Staph Infection Sunday’s
    Plus, every 3rd Sunday is NEEDLE MANIA! All used needle’s half-off!

  5. Holly Would | 3:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times…finding good drugs is like finding a needle in a hardware sto..HEY!

  6. dangevin | 3:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    My shopping list: Three-penny nails and $6 bottles of Evian.

  7. dangevin | 3:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    …but the “Software and Smack Megastore” just seems to have better quality stuff.

  8. kapow | 4:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Maybe I’ll consider DIY chores from now on. Sounds fun!

  9. kapow | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    So that explains why the handyman is missing a couple of fingers

  10. galliard | 4:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    For all your “screw” and “blow” needs…

  11. beechoak | 5:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    who’s up for getting hammered, nailed and screwed?

  12. BeadyEl | 5:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Gimme a dime bag, and a roll of duct-tape…

  13. Grifter Wolf | 6:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Convenience with… a little too much of a smile…

  14. Brandon | 6:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’m more concerned about that comma. This looks like someone was starting to write a letter but then got distracted.

  15. kringo | 6:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Hit the nail. Hit the bong. Hit the nail. Hit the bong. Hit the nail. Hit the bong.

  16. Someone205 | 8:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    They better not come with the “fallen of a truck” story here

  17. Ben | 8:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The new shop vac works great, but now I’m hungry for some reason.

  18. Dude | 10:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    First we get hammered, then we nail each other.

  19. Duck | 11:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Bongs … aisle twelve, right next to the ‘Huffer Delite’ brand spray paint!

  20. zanzabar | 2:08 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Come for the wrench, stay for the crack”

  21. FSX | 2:08 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Yo, homes, it’s one them dope supamarkets, fo shizzle!

  22. TC | 5:18 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    What better place to buy guns and drugs?

  23. TJ | 5:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Whoa, dude! Check it out! This hammer suddenly has a face! Wow! Now the whole store seems to be speaking to me!

  24. Jamie Brannon | 8:44 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This explains sooooooooooooooo much

  25. Josh | 7:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Now, which one of these electrical conuits works the best as a bong?

  26. Chainsawman | 12:13 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    You can build it, or fix it or smoke it or snort it. We can help.

  27. Dayster | 11:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    DIY for dummies.

  28. ida | 10:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Talk about making a hash of the D.I.Y!

  29. Stephan | 5:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Highstation 3. Splifftendo. Weeeeeeeeeeeee.

  30. Kimgiggly79 | 9:19 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    overdose on aisle 6….

  31. SOKKA | 5:04 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Next spot, map quest

  32. Water imp | 7:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Pop Rocks just got a whole new meaning…

  33. jeffy | 9:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Does Tommy Chong know about this yet?

  34. Wile E. Coyote Super Genius | 11:22 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    For the stoner do-it-yourselfer …

  35. Alice in Wonderland | 6:23 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    They’re trying to be hip! No one wants to go to the lame-o market.

  36. A person | 3:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    What? Isn’t pot a type of hardware?

    Anyway, I was looking for opium birdseed. Where are the 10-pound bags? I need to give the birds one pound.

  37. Ghost08 | 9:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    wasnt aware we had a super market for that but hoo–rah just the same

  38. Lynn | 8:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I still prefer Home DePOT.

  39. Lynn | 8:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    For those that like to get geeked up and build!

  40. Livevil | 1:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    oh man, I was looking for the software and cocaine supermarket.

  41. Corwyn | 11:21 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Looks like they ran out of both after the last comma there…

  42. Corwyn | 11:23 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “This old House” with Beavis and Butthead!

  43. feeled | 8:28 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I could nail me some joint compound here, man.

  44. Dangeriz | 1:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Dude… where’s my car?

  45. Kara | 1:46 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Hammer… 1.75
    Dope…. 34.50

  46. donjuan71 | 10:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Listen, I need some duct tape, wood screws, and a big fatty. Can you help me?

  47. andy | 10:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    build your own bong

  48. Polyshot | 9:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Is that for GTA:Shanghai or Beijing?? LOL

  49. susanne | 1:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    So! ACE Hardware has been lying to me all the time!

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