Sorry, I mangled my rpp,faco;otoes.of!

posted on 20 May 2009 in Chinglish

The guests really enjoy our exquisity bustibles…


Photo courtesy of Dave Chadwick.
Found in China hotel room. 

110 captions

  1. derailer | 1:19 am |

    This place blows. If I can’t be a full-mouthed prostitute after hitting the pipe, then forget it.

  2. Ageless | 1:29 am |

    Don’t you think point 4 touches the exotics quite heavily, going from urban combustibles to the exquisite, to exquisite poison to radiated items? That’s way better than hitting the pipe or hitting the bottle. :-)

  3. Richard | 3:02 am |

    OK, OK, OK! I sugree. Can I get some sleep now?

  4. kringo | 3:24 am |

    All your pipe, gun, and exquisite are belong to the police.

  5. krizcpec | 3:27 am |

    I am totally lost, where am I?

  6. kringo | 3:29 am |

    I don’t know about any of you, but when I’m in a hotel room, I have this uncontrollable urge to install an electrical outlet.

  7. Terryl | 3:33 am |

    The man ager is noth ere. Dissatisfact ion guests can blow the ass istantm anager for quiet reason s.

    This is what happens when you paste at will.

  8. Big Fat Cat | 3:34 am |

    I am not going to hit the pipe but I am rattling the bed and banging the walls.

  9. beechoak | 3:41 am |

    Oh, I think I have some dissatisfaction, alright! Like trying to understand all these rules even when I have NOT been hitting the pipe or the bottle!

  10. beechoak | 3:45 am |

    My rpp,faco;otoes.of are custom-mangled; I NEVER mangle off the rack.

  11. Niagara Powered | 4:05 am |

    7. For cleaning reason of maid,don ‘ t hit the wench wife , spray the blood , mangle the parts , or violent mess make.

  12. Grifter | 4:22 am |

    …but… I can’ tnot prostitute myself AND not hit the bottle! There has to be one!!!!

  13. Kees | 4:25 am |

    I think they got to personal when they said: “Don’t prostitute oneself, wench!”

  14. Big Fat Cat | 5:22 am |

    Will I be disqualified by the hotel if I have a full mouth at the hotel restaurant.

  15. Nan | 5:59 am |

    “Don’t set goods on fire” does seem like sound advice.

  16. Classic Steve | 6:10 am |

    7. There is on rules even.

  17. Classic Steve | 6:13 am |

    “Increase person or change person…” I gained weight and had transgender surgery. Guess I’d better transact procedure at the Reception Desk.

  18. Xila | 6:24 am |

    Before receiving your key you must pass a series of tests to prove you are not an alcoholic, drug dealing, wench carrying a gun who is trying to sneak in extra people who may plug in extra electronics that could burst into flames and burn the whole place down! That’s what happened the last time there was a fire.

  19. CrymeLord | 6:43 am |

    Can’t hit the pipe or the bottle. It’s the no-fun hotel.

  20. Chris | 7:15 am |

    Room service? I’d like some exquisite poison, please.

  21. airplayne | 7:39 am |

    Paste at will, Commander!

  22. Dave Buggert Orf | 8:29 am |

    I took their valid identification for check in and it’s actually a phony id!!! Now I’m not sure if I still qualify for lodging anywhere. It all started with the cold medicine I gave the Assistant Manager. I couldn ‘ tfind Contac, so I gave him NyQuil instead. Not my fault he fell asleep on the job.

  23. Blaze | 9:23 am |

    Note: When staying in a hotel in China, be aware: Your neighbors may be glue sniffing, crack smoking, liquor binging, pyromaniac, electrician prostitutes. Even worse, they may be trying to get extra people into their room!

  24. Soundgarden | 10:41 am |

    Fine, I’ll just take my obscene goods and radiated items elsewhere!

  25. MightyCait | 10:51 am |

    Oh but i just can’t live without my exquisite, exquisite poison!

  26. Hotjoe | 12:48 pm |

    Exquisite Poison = The Royal Way To Die.

  27. Sad Panda | 2:20 pm |

    Don’t spread your goods, wench.

  28. Lollerskate | 2:31 pm |

    Set goods on fire? I’m in! Where’s my hand grenade??

  29. bigcaddy | 3:26 pm |

    this book called me a wench! that ‘ s unaccep table!

  30. blargin7 | 3:58 pm |

    I don’t necisarily know if i can take good core of my rpp,faco;otoes.of, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t bring my exquisite, exquisite poison.

  31. DieselDragon | 5:39 pm |

    Don’t install electrical wire and telephone? That’s fine by me…I’m a Plumber! 😉

  32. DieselDragon | 5:44 pm |

    For check-in; Take ONE valid identification THREE times a day after meals.
    Side effects may include increase of the person or change of the person. If in doubt, please transact procedure with your GP. :)

  33. DieselDragon | 5:45 pm |

    Rule three isn’t a good sign…It clearly shows that Ms. Porn doesn’t work in this hotel. :(

  34. DieselDragon | 5:47 pm |

    …But on the other hand, rule two suggests that this place is perfect for Pyromaniacs and fly-posters! 😮

  35. DieselDragon | 5:50 pm |

    For security reasons, COM bus-tibles have to be accepted by the management? So much for taking my 28.8k serial modem along with me… 😐

  36. DieselDragon | 5:53 pm |

    I’d always cursed the fact that I can’t afford exquisite poisons, and consequently have to carry common poisons around with me insted. However it looks like I might have a bit of an advantage in this case! 😉

  37. Rice1 | 7:08 pm |

    Awww, no wench gambling?!

  38. TJ | 7:25 pm |

    I’d rather check in at the hotel that had the “Spring has came” sign.

  39. TJ | 7:27 pm |

    I’d rather check in at the hotel that had the “Spring has came” sign outside of it.

  40. ThatOneGuy | 9:42 pm |

    Out of the curiosit y, what is today’s going rack rate?

  41. tekleader | 9:26 am |

    Psst, check it out, I’ve got some exquisite, exquisite poison for sale, and… wait a minute, did you just call me a wench?

  42. unknowed | 12:55 pm |

    I think i’m just going to hit the pipe with some exquisite poison, paste at will and see what happens…

  43. Hotjoe | 2:20 pm |

    Paste at Will.
    Paste at Will.
    Paste at Will.
    Paste at Will.
    Paste at Will.
    Paste at Will.
    Paste at Will.
    Paste at Will.

    Oops, I just broke the rules. Guess I’ll get my lodging qualification canceled.

  44. Khymera | 5:32 pm |

    Management will have to pay the rack rate, they mangled the notice

  45. Shining Puki | 1:29 am |

    ‘lodging qualification…’
    do i have to complete my doctorate prior to lodging?

  46. CYber9940 | 4:15 pm |

    Sorry,but ,Who is Don ?. Take a look at the things that Don does :

    Don Tleaves!
    Don Tinstalls!
    Don Tprostitutes!
    Don Thits!

    What a great guy is Don!!!

    (Maybe he must take some exquisite,radiated posion and go to faco otoes… sorry, but I envy Don)

  47. danaenae | 5:01 am |

    I suppose I shouldn’t disclose my pasting at will obsession at check-in, then.

  48. smithie1027 | 9:15 am |

    Not a caption, but can this be made into a poster? I’d love to hang it in my apartment at school this year.

  49. Karen | 1:30 pm |

    I laughed so much I nearly spread obscene goods!

  50. Jenny | 9:07 am |

    Oh and I so wanted to transfer to another person.

  51. Emma | 3:36 pm |

    Wait wait….. #4 says there will be ON accepting of com bustibles, exquisite, exquisite poison, and radiated items!

    So go ahead and bring ’em, it’s for security reasons!!

  52. Emma | 3:41 pm |

    #2: I’m fine with not installing electrical wire or telephone, as long as I get to set goods on fire and paste at will.

    #3: No no…..go ahead and prostitute, wench, gamble, hit the pipe, and spread obscene goods as long as *according to the police* you don’t! Wink, wink!

    On a more serious note, what is it about this hotel that attracts so many illegal vices and amateur electricians that they have to go so far as to list them all specifically?

  53. Rawrs | 10:02 pm |

    Do not candles alight with unnecessary war. Police called catch in jail. Never heating device for cooking, warming, and love. Do not explode electric to disturb friendly neighbors.

  54. Bob | 12:16 am |

    Oh I get it. rpp,faco;otoes.of = “room facilities, if”. That’s not Engrish, that’s bad typing!

    Apparently they were so eager to tell people to take such good core of their rooms that they set their right hand one letter off on the keyboard when they wrote that part. 😮

  55. ryuusei.tenshi | 5:20 pm |

    Wow, this hotel attracks great people; murders, gamblers, wenches, and prostitutes. AND I CAN’T EVEN PASTE AT WILL?!?!? I want out of this rpp,faco;otoes.of right now >.<

  56. Johan | 11:01 am |

    it looooks lik ethey trytow rite the thingo n ambien….

  57. Funny | 12:35 pm |

    Ooops . . .my exquisite radiated bustible pasted at will!

  58. Joseph | 6:27 pm |

    So if you bring a gun and ammunition you get your own police force?

  59. Ozjeppe | 9:11 am |

    OMG, I haven’t laughed this much all week; classic!

  60. Ianwjenfej | 2:27 pm |

    Aww, but I love hitting the pipe and spreading obscene goods.

  61. weasel | 10:52 am |

    don’t paste at Will??!!!
    what did Will do to make us all want to paste him?

  62. Kara | 7:13 am |

    Screw this place, I can’t wench oneself or hit the pipe….


  63. Chris | 12:38 pm |

    Looks like I’ll have to bring my cell phone and leave my nukes, air conditioners (radiated items) and arsenic at home. I’ll bet this hotel has alot of faulty wiring too, so it looks like i’ll be bringing my hand grenade.

  64. Larry | 8:51 am |

    See what you get for not allowing the secretary to paste at will!

  65. Larry | 9:00 am |

    [Editor’s note] Please fix the sign so that it can be more easily understood by our Engrish-speaking patrons:

    Please don’t prostitute oneself, wench, or spread your obscene goods, for there is on[going] accepting of our [dot-]com “bustibles”, who are an exquisite, exquisite poison and who are getting paid by their rack rate.

  66. Thisisme | 4:42 pm |

    What good is this place if I can’t show my obscene goods, have radiated items or be a prostitute while installing a ceiling fan?!

  67. steve | 8:03 am |

    The reason I go on holiday to a hotel is so I can paste at will..

  68. Rob | 5:50 am |

    As long as it’s exquisite poison.

  69. Ezzbot | 9:36 pm |

    Paste at will.

  70. Human | 2:56 pm |

    6 important lessons for Australian holiday-goers . . .

  71. VulpineNinja | 10:15 am |

    obscene goods???

  72. LaughingCoy | 8:12 am |

    Number 3 might be tough to follow, but I’ll try.

  73. Neals | 8:13 pm |

    “Don’t leave any person”? Had a lot of that going on in this fine establishment, have we?

  74. Nick | 12:04 am |

    Set goods on fire, jump on

  75. Steven | 1:20 am |

    I just started working for a japanese company, and here I am chuckling behind my desk, not being able to spread the fun..because I’m the ONLY european among my all japanese collegues..

    I ‘d like that cutie at finance to hit my pipe.

  76. Awesome Joe | 2:46 am |

    “Please adapt to these rules or we’re gonna ripp.ur,FOC’n;”

  77. jensen0722 | 12:06 am |

    i guess I won’t be eating at their restaurant if I can’t be full mouthed.

  78. Iam Jhonsoon | 10:11 pm |

    The local police will give you guns and ammunition to use while in the hotel? Oh my, aren’t they friendly?

  79. drumming_panda | 5:35 pm |

    Oh no! I forgot to take care of the rpp,faco;otoes.of!

  80. drumming_panda | 5:35 pm |

    Wait…… can we prostitute other people?

  81. Keith Taylor | 7:40 am |

    good person not going prostitute like these rules, saying unclappable.

  82. Rhino | 9:17 am |

    Just went to my mountain spring to get some water. Did’nt see any white milky stuff – I guess it has not come yet.

  83. Lollerskate | 4:07 am |

    @ CYber9940: Don T leaves any person! Don T prostitutes oneself, wench! Don T hits the bottle, fights, makes trouble! Don T installs electric wire! In other words, Don T is a suicidal alcoholic FRIKIN’ PSYCOTHIC PIMP.

  84. mdalsted | 9:47 am |

    (tilts head) What the? Did Fhqwhgads write this nonsense? (Homestar Runner reference)

  85. mdalsted | 9:47 am |

    (tilts head) What the? Did Fhqwhgads write this nonsense?

  86. lauren | 8:02 pm |

    yeah wench!! dont prostitute yourself

  87. Jwaz | 4:35 pm |

    Wow… the guide book didnt even mention that they had a rpp,faco:otoes.of!

  88. chieromancer | 7:10 pm |

    What you get when you combine Engrish with bad typing skills.

  89. mickeygreeneyes | 1:30 pm |

    Finally – a place where I can paste any time I want. Why can’t courtyard by Marriott be like that?

  90. Tessa Cole | 11:30 am |

    I’m confused…can I smoke?

  91. CP | 9:13 pm |

    I hate it when gambling wenches prostitute themselves!

  92. Cyber9940 | 4:35 pm |

    Sorry, just a noob question : The “Bustible” item has something to do with woman’s bust ? Is some sort of liquid that make the bust grow ?. Thank you.

  93. Cyber9940 | 4:07 pm |

    Sorry, but another noob question: I’m usually use some non exquisite poisons ( in fact those poisons smell and tastes really bad). Can I use those in the hotel??. Thanks.

  94. rbm | 1:47 pm |

    I have nothing clever to say, just that I think this is my favorite Engrish of all time, between “rpp,faco;otoes.of” and “exquisite, exquisite poison” my face hurts from laughing.

  95. Rawr | 3:37 am |

    Would YOU trust these people? They don’t even let you hit the pipe! WHY? WHY?

  96. mosier1 | 3:35 pm |

    I think I saw Exquisite Poison open for Metallica

  97. Ritch Avery | 12:20 pm |

    “Honey, can you pour me another class of that exquisite poison?”

  98. minvac | 6:52 am |

    Darn it! We were going to have our scrapbooking convention here. But not if we can’t paste at will…

  99. racist park | 2:06 am |

    Dear guest,
    Take the cores off the rpp,faco;otoes.ofs or you’ll pay for any damage to the rpp,faco;otoes.ofs with cores.
    Thank you and have a nice stay.

  100. Kwan | 6:21 am |

    Prostitute oneself – new synonym for ‘masturbate’

  101. liam1224 | 2:22 pm |

    May I have a hotel room if I change person?

  102. Squidblender | 8:50 pm |

    I didn’t bring my exquisite, but I’ll turn over my exquisite poison. I understand: rules like these exist because foreigners’ll try to get away with anything once.

  103. Gerson | 3:50 am |

    I am 45, what is this?

  104. Patrick | 10:57 pm |

    All you can do there is sleep!

  105. Riri | 11:26 am |

    Yes, because what i really want to do is set my goods on fire………

  106. epicak | 1:53 am |

    Oh god. I really hope no-one brought exquisite poison with them!

  107. Joona1410 | 6:25 am |

    Okay. I’ll set my goods at fire.

  108. RocketCat | 8:43 am |

    That wench is always prostituting herself and hitting that pipe with that full mouth of hers. She just thinks she can paste at will.

  109. Seventy2rd o clock | 12:36 pm |

    Deer Hotel!

    Rpp,faco;otoes off!

    – Don ‘tPerignon

  110. Seventy2rd o clock | 10:49 pm |

    Face off!

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