Sorry, I mangled my rpp,faco;otoes.of!

posted on 20 May 2009 in Chinglish

The guests really enjoy our exquisity bustibles…

 

Photo courtesy of Dave Chadwick.
Found in China hotel room. 

110 captions

  1. derailer | 1:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 51  Subtract rating 1  

    This place blows. If I can’t be a full-mouthed prostitute after hitting the pipe, then forget it.

  2. Ageless | 1:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t you think point 4 touches the exotics quite heavily, going from urban combustibles to the exquisite, to exquisite poison to radiated items? That’s way better than hitting the pipe or hitting the bottle. :-)

  3. Richard | 3:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    OK, OK, OK! I sugree. Can I get some sleep now?

  4. kringo | 3:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 37  Subtract rating 0  

    All your pipe, gun, and exquisite are belong to the police.

  5. krizcpec | 3:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I am totally lost, where am I?

  6. kringo | 3:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 50  Subtract rating 0  

    I don’t know about any of you, but when I’m in a hotel room, I have this uncontrollable urge to install an electrical outlet.

  7. Terryl | 3:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 0  

    The man ager is noth ere. Dissatisfact ion guests can blow the ass istantm anager for quiet reason s.

    This is what happens when you paste at will.

  8. Big Fat Cat | 3:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    I am not going to hit the pipe but I am rattling the bed and banging the walls.

  9. beechoak | 3:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh, I think I have some dissatisfaction, alright! Like trying to understand all these rules even when I have NOT been hitting the pipe or the bottle!

  10. beechoak | 3:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 0  

    My rpp,faco;otoes.of are custom-mangled; I NEVER mangle off the rack.

  11. Niagara Powered | 4:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    7. For cleaning reason of maid,don ‘ t hit the wench wife , spray the blood , mangle the parts , or violent mess make.

  12. Grifter | 4:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 1  

    …but… I can’ tnot prostitute myself AND not hit the bottle! There has to be one!!!!

  13. Kees | 4:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 22  Subtract rating 0  

    I think they got to personal when they said: “Don’t prostitute oneself, wench!”

  14. Big Fat Cat | 5:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Will I be disqualified by the hotel if I have a full mouth at the hotel restaurant.

  15. Nan | 5:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    “Don’t set goods on fire” does seem like sound advice.

  16. Classic Steve | 6:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    7. There is on rules even.

  17. Classic Steve | 6:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    “Increase person or change person…” I gained weight and had transgender surgery. Guess I’d better transact procedure at the Reception Desk.

  18. Xila | 6:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Before receiving your key you must pass a series of tests to prove you are not an alcoholic, drug dealing, wench carrying a gun who is trying to sneak in extra people who may plug in extra electronics that could burst into flames and burn the whole place down! That’s what happened the last time there was a fire.

  19. CrymeLord | 6:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Can’t hit the pipe or the bottle. It’s the no-fun hotel.

  20. Chris | 7:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Room service? I’d like some exquisite poison, please.

  21. airplayne | 7:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Paste at will, Commander!

  22. Dave Buggert Orf | 8:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I took their valid identification for check in and it’s actually a phony id!!! Now I’m not sure if I still qualify for lodging anywhere. It all started with the cold medicine I gave the Assistant Manager. I couldn ‘ tfind Contac, so I gave him NyQuil instead. Not my fault he fell asleep on the job.

  23. Blaze | 9:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    Note: When staying in a hotel in China, be aware: Your neighbors may be glue sniffing, crack smoking, liquor binging, pyromaniac, electrician prostitutes. Even worse, they may be trying to get extra people into their room!

  24. Soundgarden | 10:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    Fine, I’ll just take my obscene goods and radiated items elsewhere!

  25. MightyCait | 10:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh but i just can’t live without my exquisite, exquisite poison!

  26. Hotjoe | 12:48 pm |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Exquisite Poison = The Royal Way To Die.

  27. Sad Panda | 2:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t spread your goods, wench.

  28. Lollerskate | 2:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Set goods on fire? I’m in! Where’s my hand grenade??

  29. bigcaddy | 3:26 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    this book called me a wench! that ‘ s unaccep table!

  30. blargin7 | 3:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    I don’t necisarily know if i can take good core of my rpp,faco;otoes.of, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t bring my exquisite, exquisite poison.

  31. DieselDragon | 5:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t install electrical wire and telephone? That’s fine by me…I’m a Plumber! 😉

  32. DieselDragon | 5:44 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    For check-in; Take ONE valid identification THREE times a day after meals.
    Side effects may include increase of the person or change of the person. If in doubt, please transact procedure with your GP. :)

  33. DieselDragon | 5:45 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 1  

    Rule three isn’t a good sign…It clearly shows that Ms. Porn doesn’t work in this hotel. :(

  34. DieselDragon | 5:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    …But on the other hand, rule two suggests that this place is perfect for Pyromaniacs and fly-posters! 😮

  35. DieselDragon | 5:50 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    For security reasons, COM bus-tibles have to be accepted by the management? So much for taking my 28.8k serial modem along with me… 😐

  36. DieselDragon | 5:53 pm |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    I’d always cursed the fact that I can’t afford exquisite poisons, and consequently have to carry common poisons around with me insted. However it looks like I might have a bit of an advantage in this case! 😉

  37. Rice1 | 7:08 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Awww, no wench gambling?!

  38. TJ | 7:25 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I’d rather check in at the hotel that had the “Spring has came” sign.

  39. TJ | 7:27 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I’d rather check in at the hotel that had the “Spring has came” sign outside of it.

  40. ThatOneGuy | 9:42 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Out of the curiosit y, what is today’s going rack rate?

  41. tekleader | 9:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Psst, check it out, I’ve got some exquisite, exquisite poison for sale, and… wait a minute, did you just call me a wench?

  42. unknowed | 12:55 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I think i’m just going to hit the pipe with some exquisite poison, paste at will and see what happens…

  43. Hotjoe | 2:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Paste at Will.
    Paste at Will.
    Paste at Will.
    Paste at Will.
    Paste at Will.
    Paste at Will.
    Paste at Will.
    Paste at Will.

    Oops, I just broke the rules. Guess I’ll get my lodging qualification canceled.

  44. Khymera | 5:32 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Management will have to pay the rack rate, they mangled the notice

  45. Shining Puki | 1:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    ‘lodging qualification…’
    do i have to complete my doctorate prior to lodging?

  46. CYber9940 | 4:15 pm |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    Sorry,but ,Who is Don ?. Take a look at the things that Don does :

    Don Tleaves!
    Don Tinstalls!
    Don Tprostitutes!
    Don Thits!

    What a great guy is Don!!!

    (Maybe he must take some exquisite,radiated posion and go to faco otoes… sorry, but I envy Don)

  47. danaenae | 5:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    I suppose I shouldn’t disclose my pasting at will obsession at check-in, then.

  48. smithie1027 | 9:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Not a caption, but can this be made into a poster? I’d love to hang it in my apartment at school this year.

  49. Karen | 1:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    I laughed so much I nearly spread obscene goods!

  50. Jenny | 9:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh and I so wanted to transfer to another person.

  51. Emma | 3:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Wait wait….. #4 says there will be ON accepting of com bustibles, exquisite, exquisite poison, and radiated items!

    So go ahead and bring ’em, it’s for security reasons!!

  52. Emma | 3:41 pm |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    #2: I’m fine with not installing electrical wire or telephone, as long as I get to set goods on fire and paste at will.

    #3: No no…..go ahead and prostitute, wench, gamble, hit the pipe, and spread obscene goods as long as *according to the police* you don’t! Wink, wink!

    On a more serious note, what is it about this hotel that attracts so many illegal vices and amateur electricians that they have to go so far as to list them all specifically?

  53. Rawrs | 10:02 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Do not candles alight with unnecessary war. Police called catch in jail. Never heating device for cooking, warming, and love. Do not explode electric to disturb friendly neighbors.
    😀

  54. Bob | 12:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 1  

    Oh I get it. rpp,faco;otoes.of = “room facilities, if”. That’s not Engrish, that’s bad typing!

    Apparently they were so eager to tell people to take such good core of their rooms that they set their right hand one letter off on the keyboard when they wrote that part. 😮

  55. ryuusei.tenshi | 5:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Wow, this hotel attracks great people; murders, gamblers, wenches, and prostitutes. AND I CAN’T EVEN PASTE AT WILL?!?!? I want out of this rpp,faco;otoes.of right now >.<

  56. Johan | 11:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    it looooks lik ethey trytow rite the thingo n ambien….

  57. Funny | 12:35 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Ooops . . .my exquisite radiated bustible pasted at will!

  58. Joseph | 6:27 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    So if you bring a gun and ammunition you get your own police force?

  59. Ozjeppe | 9:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    OMG, I haven’t laughed this much all week; classic!

  60. Ianwjenfej | 2:27 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Aww, but I love hitting the pipe and spreading obscene goods.

  61. weasel | 10:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    don’t paste at Will??!!!
    what did Will do to make us all want to paste him?

  62. Kara | 7:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Screw this place, I can’t wench oneself or hit the pipe….

    AND I WILL DO AS I DAMN WELL PLEASE TO MY RPP,FACO;OTOES.OF!

  63. Chris | 12:38 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Looks like I’ll have to bring my cell phone and leave my nukes, air conditioners (radiated items) and arsenic at home. I’ll bet this hotel has alot of faulty wiring too, so it looks like i’ll be bringing my hand grenade.

  64. Larry | 8:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    @Bob,
    See what you get for not allowing the secretary to paste at will!

  65. Larry | 9:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    [Editor’s note] Please fix the sign so that it can be more easily understood by our Engrish-speaking patrons:

    Please don’t prostitute oneself, wench, or spread your obscene goods, for there is on[going] accepting of our [dot-]com “bustibles”, who are an exquisite, exquisite poison and who are getting paid by their rack rate.

  66. Thisisme | 4:42 pm |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    What good is this place if I can’t show my obscene goods, have radiated items or be a prostitute while installing a ceiling fan?!

  67. steve | 8:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    The reason I go on holiday to a hotel is so I can paste at will..

  68. Rob | 5:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    As long as it’s exquisite poison.

  69. Ezzbot | 9:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Paste at will.

  70. Human | 2:56 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    6 important lessons for Australian holiday-goers . . .

  71. VulpineNinja | 10:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    obscene goods???

  72. LaughingCoy | 8:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Number 3 might be tough to follow, but I’ll try.

  73. Neals | 8:13 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Don’t leave any person”? Had a lot of that going on in this fine establishment, have we?

  74. Nick | 12:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Suicidals:
    Set goods on fire, jump on

  75. Steven | 1:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I just started working for a japanese company, and here I am chuckling behind my desk, not being able to spread the fun..because I’m the ONLY european among my all japanese collegues..

    I ‘d like that cutie at finance to hit my pipe.

  76. Awesome Joe | 2:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 0  

    “Please adapt to these rules or we’re gonna ripp.ur,FOC’n;toes.off.”

  77. jensen0722 | 12:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    i guess I won’t be eating at their restaurant if I can’t be full mouthed.

  78. Iam Jhonsoon | 10:11 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    The local police will give you guns and ammunition to use while in the hotel? Oh my, aren’t they friendly?

  79. drumming_panda | 5:35 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh no! I forgot to take care of the rpp,faco;otoes.of!

  80. drumming_panda | 5:35 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Wait……..so can we prostitute other people?

  81. Keith Taylor | 7:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    good person not going prostitute like these rules, saying unclappable.

  82. Rhino | 9:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Just went to my mountain spring to get some water. Did’nt see any white milky stuff – I guess it has not come yet.

  83. Lollerskate | 4:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    @ CYber9940: Don T leaves any person! Don T prostitutes oneself, wench! Don T hits the bottle, fights, makes trouble! Don T installs electric wire! In other words, Don T is a suicidal alcoholic FRIKIN’ PSYCOTHIC PIMP.

  84. mdalsted | 9:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    (tilts head) What the? Did Fhqwhgads write this nonsense? (Homestar Runner reference)

  85. mdalsted | 9:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    (tilts head) What the? Did Fhqwhgads write this nonsense?

  86. lauren | 8:02 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    yeah wench!! dont prostitute yourself

  87. Jwaz | 4:35 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Wow… the guide book didnt even mention that they had a rpp,faco:otoes.of!

  88. chieromancer | 7:10 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    What you get when you combine Engrish with bad typing skills.

  89. mickeygreeneyes | 1:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Finally – a place where I can paste any time I want. Why can’t courtyard by Marriott be like that?

  90. Tessa Cole | 11:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    I’m confused…can I smoke?

  91. CP | 9:13 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I hate it when gambling wenches prostitute themselves!

  92. Cyber9940 | 4:35 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Sorry, just a noob question : The “Bustible” item has something to do with woman’s bust ? Is some sort of liquid that make the bust grow ?. Thank you.

  93. Cyber9940 | 4:07 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Sorry, but another noob question: I’m usually use some non exquisite poisons ( in fact those poisons smell and tastes really bad). Can I use those in the hotel??. Thanks.

  94. rbm | 1:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    I have nothing clever to say, just that I think this is my favorite Engrish of all time, between “rpp,faco;otoes.of” and “exquisite, exquisite poison” my face hurts from laughing.

  95. Rawr | 3:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Would YOU trust these people? They don’t even let you hit the pipe! WHY? WHY?

  96. mosier1 | 3:35 pm |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    I think I saw Exquisite Poison open for Metallica

  97. Ritch Avery | 12:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    “Honey, can you pour me another class of that exquisite poison?”

  98. minvac | 6:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Darn it! We were going to have our scrapbooking convention here. But not if we can’t paste at will…

  99. racist park | 2:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Dear guest,
    Take the cores off the rpp,faco;otoes.ofs or you’ll pay for any damage to the rpp,faco;otoes.ofs with cores.
    Thank you and have a nice stay.

  100. Kwan | 6:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Prostitute oneself – new synonym for ‘masturbate’

  101. liam1224 | 2:22 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    May I have a hotel room if I change person?

  102. Squidblender | 8:50 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I didn’t bring my exquisite, but I’ll turn over my exquisite poison. I understand: rules like these exist because foreigners’ll try to get away with anything once.

  103. Gerson | 3:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    I am 45, what is this?

  104. Patrick | 10:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    All you can do there is sleep!

  105. Riri | 11:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Yes, because what i really want to do is set my goods on fire………

  106. epicak | 1:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh god. I really hope no-one brought exquisite poison with them!

  107. Joona1410 | 6:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Okay. I’ll set my goods at fire.

  108. RocketCat | 8:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    That wench is always prostituting herself and hitting that pipe with that full mouth of hers. She just thinks she can paste at will.

  109. Seventy2rd o clock | 12:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Deer Hotel!

    Rpp,faco;otoes off!

    – Don ‘tPerignon

  110. Seventy2rd o clock | 10:49 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Face off!

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