The Knockout Kum Car - Dangerous AND sexy!
Photo courtesy of W.A. Davison.
Photo of toy and label put together.
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The last two lines explain foreplay and afterplay to children!
CORRECTION: The last two lines in the bigger box explain foreplay and afterplay to children.
Sounds good- mom’s lullabye makes me feel even more tired, and nanny’s lullabye leaves me awake through the night!
What? All this talk about kum and no swallowing?!
Sheesh…
Maybe you could consider it to be and elephant, or a donkey or maybe a chicken. but dount hit your head with it.
Normally, there are two hammers of the kum right under the bridge!
Hammer of the kum.. turn it back up.. its a bit like a caterpillar.. pull the things.. enjoy yourselves.. play a lullabye for yourself.. but please don’t swallow it. I am just speechless.
How does it become a lovely small exotic turtle? Well, kids, anything is possible with L-S-D!
Can it turn into a delicious snake? Or did the beer drinkers eat them all?
Parents don’t hit the head or your kids with the product when you get tired.
Small parts…. a phrase I have heard all too often.
Children, don’t pull ANYTHING out!
Well! Looks like the Jiaxin Toy Co. got a grant from the Ministry of Innuendo.
Kum on, feel the noise! Girls, rock your toys!
If I knock out my caterpillar too hard, it shrinks like a frightened turtle…
I tried pulling the thing I imagined as much as I could, and I got slapped with a lawsuit…
Daddy! Why don’t you buy me one. I want to Kum!
Ah, children and their toys make beautiful music together…
“Whew! I’ve been hammering my kum under the bridge so much, I need to come back up for a rest…!”
Please don’t drink the product or you’ll knockout kum.
“… or you can use it as a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl…”
Nothing about the incredibly obvious warning “Please don ‘ t hit your head against the product, or your head will be wounded”?
It seems that the Chinese sweat shops make their workers play their own lullabies.
Talk about jump starting your sex Drive!
Kum on Ilene!
How did we genetically modify this Kum Car? Well!
Knockout Kum Car has put the safety note for two reasons
1. Do not swallow the small parts of the kum. If small parts of kum make contact with mouth, spit it out.
2. Before the safety note, children have been knocking themselves out on the head and swallowing small parts of the Knockout Kum Car
After the caterpillar has eaten its fill of leaves, it becomes a cocoon. Soon it will emerge as a beautiful turtle….
He can’t satisfy you with his little worm
I can knock you out with my super sperm
(From “Rapper’s Delight”)
Okay, but not in my mouth…
Suppose it would be tasteless to make a Ted Kennedy crack about now?
I wonder if it will drive me all the way to #10 or give me multiple tickets!!??
“… getting… tired… … must… play… lullaby…”
WARNING: Swallowing Kum is a choking hazard.
Remember: The “beautiful melody” to children is most often the “bloody annoying racket” to adults. Children please to play accordingly.
Please make yourself as possible as enjoy whilst the notion of basic English is having a coffee break.
Microsoft should copy the last two lines from that warning box and add it to the packaging for Windows Vista. Maybe then, they’ll be able to avoid all those lawsuits from over frustrated users!
Maybe it’s best you just don’t play with it at all, son.
[I'm experiencing Engrish overload tonight as there's so many potential punchlines for this one, so I'll dump all of my one-liners into a single caption to save site resources.
]
As seen on the Chinese game show; Strictly Kum Dancing.
Made in China? You don’t say…
Includes a copy of ATB’s “9pm” single on enclosed CD [Google the lyrics!
]
It’s a knockout!
Given the advice offered, this toy would be more appropriate for teenagers…
How does it become a lovely small exotic turtle? Ask your local drug dealer for more details.
As used - And endorsed - By Sarah Palin.
Well! When I play a beautiful melody under the bridge, delicious snakes begin following me around!
The most exiting toy ever since that Harry Potter vibrating broom.
I hit my head against the product earlier. That’s why I can’t kum up with a clever caption.
Introducing the George Foreman Knockout Kum Bar
IT KNOCKOUTS THE KUM!!!
note:not endorsed by George Foreman
excessive use may cause blindness
omg theres no way this is just a simple mistranslation. this has to be a joke
You can regard it as a beetle car, but don’t try to drive it.
Kid: look, Mommy! My Kum Car is turning into a catterpillar-no, wait! Now it’s a lovely small exotic turtle!
Mother: I think we’d better adjust the dosage of your cold medicine, kid.
A vehicular simplification of the erotic music of Olivier Messiaen.
Kum means musical instrument in Chinese. For example, gong kum is piano.
Finbarr Saunders favourite toy. Just google it.
Now this is what I call a sex drive!
Having lived in Japan 18 years, I’m more or less immune to wacky English produced by translation software in Japan and the rest of Asia. But this….I’m still laughing as I type this. You couldn’t even think this stuff up if you tried. It’s hilarious!
Children….don’t play it alone if don’t understand the rule. Parent should guide them. That’s all folks!
It’s like a pedophille’s dream toy.
please don’t head bang against it while rocking out hard on your kum car
the last time a gave a ride to an exotic turtle she turned my car into blastrovan
Chinese children must learn to read Engrish at a very young age. . .
“Please don’t hit your head against the product or your head will be wounded”. One, I guess that’s why they call it the “Knockout Kum Car”. Two, you know they only put that there because someone else tried it…
Doesn’t the knockout kum when you hit your head with this toy/
“Children, please pull the things you are imagining to enjoy yourselves as possible as you can.”
but please, not in public….
You want to know how your little brother came to be?
“The hammer of the kum is under the bridge”
So this is Mike Tyson’s new toy line!
Horny Little Buggers!
holy crap haha, “please pull the parts you are imagining to enjoy yourselves as possible as you can”
Not in my car, you don’t.
I did a little research, and to much sadness, the Knockout Kum Car, along with the Amusing Duck have been banned from Store Shelves in Australia! Why would they not want children to play the beautiful melody while regarding themselves as beetle cars?