Securityscattering!
Security belts will take you to an undisclosed
location where you will be scattered further…
Photo courtesy of “Muddy”.
Sign at hotel in Guangzhou, China.
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*Whew!* Thanks for explaining — I feel so much safer now!!
Hello, Robby? I’d like to get transmitted and/or beamed please. Can you connect me with Scotty?
Fire. Scattered. Transmitted. Then it is fine.
Evidently someone does not like Spoony! I better scattermyself.
Please don’t worry if a fire is occurring, you may be burned alive in your own room at no extra charge!
For your comfort and safety, we have pwned superior scattering facilities for our guests. Unfortunateley, these are located at another hotel 800km away…
I can’t work out whether that last bullet point is part of the evacuation procedure, or just the Internet Operationing Instruction for the hotel’s wireless network!
Does the informationcorridor lead to the Information Hall of Meat?
We Hotel. You scatter.
Those are some cowardly security guards.
May you live long and scatter!
In case I need to escape through the information corridor, can I bring my excellency seat with me?
The Securityscatter sketch exit … That’s where Jack Bauer will enter.
OH, NO!!! NOT THE SECURITY BELTS!!!
Please, oh, PLEASE, don’t take me out to the security belts.
(’coz everybody knows what happens after that…)
As your guest, We (royal we) are gladdened thou, our hotelier, hast properly called us “Your Excelllency”.
Now KNEEL before thy lord and master, KNAVE!
Oh, what I would give right now for a GPS…
I have been giggling like an idiot reading this. Thank you Engrish and those of you who post here.
Hello? 911? I need a Scatteringfacillty to ansure me tansmitted safely!
Kind of a belt and suspenders approach to security…
Scattered, smothered, covered….we do it all here at the Waffle House Hotel!
I’m a little ansure about this.
As you can see, they’ve got everything under control.
Securityscattering sketch exit…So we have to act out something from SNL before they’ll save us? I’d rather fry, personally.
Sure, it looks good on paper. But does the scattering plan actually work?
Scattering: just a friendly way to say “panic.”
This must be SOME hotel.
I’ve heard of information desks before, but they’ve got an InformationCorridor.
The Scatterbrain Hotel: World leader in scattering!
And where quality of customer service is totally scattershot.
Security sketch? The least they could have done was use MS paint….
Really. Why not a whole diagram, instead of just a lousy sketch?
Don’t transmit too far at once, you might scatter.
/too obscure?
Being scattered sure beats pannicking, and runnning around in little circles.
…so THAT’s what the LHC is for!
The last point sounds like something Gandolf would say.
and in case of terrorist atack please use the terrophone
Information Corridors….Tansmitters….Very suspicious.
Could this be the secret location from which Hillary “channels” Bill??
In event of fire, guests should first pray that they rescue better than they write English… or just pray!
…and kiss your Excellency Seat goodbye !!
I still exit through the front robby, right?
If a fire is expanding towards you while in your seatbelts, don’t worry: They’re fireproof…
Sketch exit: Cause you just gotta see the like, totally cool new ornamentation before finding the real exit.
in the case of a fire, the information hall of meat makes an excellent B-B-Q area to hang out…
what if the information corridor is where the fire is? do they have one of those paper break through walls?
A fire, huh? Well I’d better go out the sketch exit so I can draw a picture…
Do not worry if a fire is occurring, we have superior scattering staff to make sure you cannot understand what on earth we are talking about, ha ha ha.
Translation: We have no fire safety plan. Please scream and scatter at will while the guards pick you off with their security belts.
Set the transmitter beam to scatter, scotty.
In case of fire, use hand grenade.
Simple, really. Scottiescattering to the informationcorridor.