I see dead people…

posted on 29 Sep 2009 in Chinglish

You can’t take it with you… no wait, you can!

Photo courtesy of Jerry Haddox.
Found in Beijing, China.

58 captions

  1. SF | 2:06 am |


    Where wilt thou lead me? speak; I’ll go no further.

    But who are you? Wait a moment, I look for my glasses. Here they are.
    Mark me.

  2. Pete | 2:24 am |


    “Heaven, I’m in heaven, my heart stopped beating and I can hardly see, I just can’t seem to find the spectacles I seek, when we’re in the void together cheek to cheek.”

  3. Ani | 2:27 am |

    If I’m reading the characters correctly, the “post-mortem” part really ought to say “Blue Garden” Optics and Glasses Distribution Center”

    Maybe there’s a buddhist or taoist version of the after-life represented by a blue green garden or something?

  4. rowger | 2:55 am |

    They are collecting dead-men’s eyeware and then sell it to the living, only to collect them again when the new owners die. It’s an evil scheme to put the glasses manufacturers out of business.

  5. beechoak | 3:45 am |

    So the things that go bump in the night are actually ghosts running into walls because they can’t see to pass through them…?

  6. kringo | 3:55 am |

    I see dead people – well, now I do.

  7. Algernon | 4:04 am |

    I’ve heard of the blind being able to see but now we have the dead being able to look back to the living.

  8. Blaze | 4:19 am |

    These glasses are worthless. The doctor closed my eyes forever as I drifted off. Friggin Rigor Mortis!

  9. coffeebot | 4:33 am |

    Grandpa looks so peaceful *sniff* with his new reading glasses…

  10. Grifter | 5:13 am |

    Guess we won’t be robbing the dead blind after all!

  11. beechoak | 5:19 am |

    By the creators of the X-Ray Specs!

  12. Didone | 5:22 am |

    What not UV filtering? You want me to get cancer again?

  13. Pete | 5:36 am |

    A case of the dead leading the blind.

  14. Ralph Hamilton | 5:48 am |

    To enable you to see out of the portholes in your coffin.

  15. Alan | 5:51 am |

    The first two characters in the Chinese name of the place are 蓝图 (=藍圖, 藍図), which is literally “blueprint” in English. How on Earth did someone manage to come up with Post-Mortem?

  16. Ralph Hamilton | 5:51 am |

    I wouldn’t be seen dead in this palce.

  17. jjhitt | 6:06 am |

    Why put pennies on your eyes when you can have designer frames that match your face and discoloration?

  18. Xila | 6:24 am |

    You don’t want the afterlife to be blurry, do you?

  19. Jetsuzu | 6:42 am |

    Strictly specializing in botched laser surgery

  20. Big Fat Cat | 7:02 am |

    Oh mine, I find Sarah Palin’s eyeglasses there.

  21. kringo | 8:57 am |

    The only sure things in life are death, taxes, and great deals on eyewear!

  22. Classic Steve | 8:57 am |

    If you really want the spirits of your dead relatives watching over you…

  23. Dude | 9:17 am |

    Post-Mortem Optical Glasses:

    The maker doesn’t want ’em,
    The buyer doesn’t use ’em
    And the user is unaware of ’em.

  24. kringo | 9:39 am |

    For people who are dying to have better vision.

  25. kringo | 10:40 am |

    He’s dead, and now has 20/20 vision, Jim.

  26. Pete | 11:25 am |

    Dude, those are some KILLER specs!

  27. Ani | 11:34 am |

    “Some remedies are worse than the disease.”
    -Publilius Syrus

  28. Cecily | 12:52 pm |

    I died when I saw the optician’s bill!

  29. theillen | 1:14 pm |

    They say you gain clarity when you die. But only if you’ve had your eyes examined in the last 12 months.

  30. Ani | 1:39 pm |

    Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz
    He dies and then de-COM-pose-es
    Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz
    But he had some real rad EYE-glasses…

  31. bigcaddy | 2:15 pm |

    now that CAsper got his glasses, he floats throught doors instead of walls

  32. Lollerskate | 5:43 pm |

    The Undead aren’t known for their eyesight…

  33. dangevin | 6:30 pm |

    “Okay, read line number four.”
    “Hm, I think you’re going to need a stronger perscrip…NO…AAAUGH!”

  34. dangevin | 6:31 pm |

    See our new Zombie-Chic line of “thrilling” corrective shades.

  35. dangevin | 6:31 pm |

    Hello? Vell yes, I lost my monocle and need a new vun by sunrise!

  36. anonymous | 8:59 pm |

    Well, The Chinese written could be tranlated into just three English words: “Blueprint Optometry Centre”….

  37. Ani | 1:08 am |

    Help Wanted: Cadavers for use as mannequins to display our full range of eyewear.

  38. xvl260 | 1:49 am |

    The Chinese name is 蓝图which means Blueprint. I wonder how they got post mortem. lol.

  39. Yugan | 6:39 am |

    ani: it says blue print, tu, not garden. Post Mortem, probably what they had in mind was Post Modern.. same difference….

  40. whirlabou | 9:40 am |

    Scented Gardens for the Blind – a fantastic album by New Zeeland based band Dragon.

  41. Ani | 11:39 am |


    Obviously my hanzi are a little rusty. Never learned “lan tu” for “blueprint” but makes sense.

    Hen ganxie.

  42. anonymous | 7:34 am |

    ani: In fact, the Chinese lan tu (traditional: 藍圖; simplifed: 蓝图) is in fact just a word-by-word direct translation of blueprint, and means the same thing.

  43. Kitsune | 7:34 pm |

    Our new bifocals allow you to see both living and dead people

  44. Chuck | 8:44 am |

    The Beatles said to beware the tax-man. They said “He’d take the pennies from my eyes.”

    But the mortician got there first and took my $950 Gucci’s !!

    (Here’s the irony: I bought ’em with a tax refund !)

  45. fv fxnbfcbh cxfhn fxbhnjm gfvbhnm gfvbdgtjm ngfvtdhn | 9:37 am |

    bit late now, isn’t it?

  46. Indigo | 4:42 pm |

    Your dead relatives DO watch you. …and now they can see you even better.

  47. PomPomtastic | 8:42 am |

    …And so I thought “I hate people but I love Optometry. Post-Mortem Optometry!”

  48. yoyo | 8:52 am |

    Check out our diefocals.

  49. kittaay | 5:13 pm |


  50. joybee88 | 12:30 am |

    Even if it’s ‘Post-Modern…’ it’d still baffle me
    Would you see the world as if u were in a Picasso painting after u put them on or what…

  51. LarryLizard | 7:35 am |

    For those mothers that lose their sight post-mortem.

    … Or those who want to see the world as if they are post-mortem?…

  52. Kiael | 10:37 am |

    In about an hour… afrer you’re dead.

  53. JacobL | 2:35 am |

    Hmm a Chindogu, No? Glasses for dead people..

  54. Damien | 2:03 am |

    I can see clearly now my brain is dead

  55. FatKenney | 4:39 pm |

    Do they distribute the optical glasses or the cadavers?

  56. ray | 12:57 am |

    Dead right again

  57. fifi | 7:19 pm |

    Who here knows someone with a seeing-eye zombie?

  58. Seventy2rd o clock | 2:48 pm |

    Read In Peace

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