I see dead people…

posted on 29 Sep 2009 in Chinglish

You can’t take it with you… no wait, you can!

Photo courtesy of Jerry Haddox.
Found in Beijing, China.

58 captions

  1. SF | 2:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    HAMLET

    Where wilt thou lead me? speak; I’ll go no further.

    Ghost
    But who are you? Wait a moment, I look for my glasses. Here they are.
    Son!
    Mark me.

  2. Pete | 2:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    (singing)

    “Heaven, I’m in heaven, my heart stopped beating and I can hardly see, I just can’t seem to find the spectacles I seek, when we’re in the void together cheek to cheek.”

  3. Ani | 2:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If I’m reading the characters correctly, the “post-mortem” part really ought to say “Blue Garden” Optics and Glasses Distribution Center”

    Maybe there’s a buddhist or taoist version of the after-life represented by a blue green garden or something?

  4. rowger | 2:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    They are collecting dead-men’s eyeware and then sell it to the living, only to collect them again when the new owners die. It’s an evil scheme to put the glasses manufacturers out of business.

  5. beechoak | 3:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    So the things that go bump in the night are actually ghosts running into walls because they can’t see to pass through them…?

  6. kringo | 3:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I see dead people – well, now I do.

  7. Algernon | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ve heard of the blind being able to see but now we have the dead being able to look back to the living.

  8. Blaze | 4:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    These glasses are worthless. The doctor closed my eyes forever as I drifted off. Friggin Rigor Mortis!

  9. coffeebot | 4:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Grandpa looks so peaceful *sniff* with his new reading glasses…

  10. Grifter | 5:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Guess we won’t be robbing the dead blind after all!

  11. beechoak | 5:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    By the creators of the X-Ray Specs!

  12. Didone | 5:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    What not UV filtering? You want me to get cancer again?

  13. Pete | 5:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    A case of the dead leading the blind.

  14. Ralph Hamilton | 5:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    To enable you to see out of the portholes in your coffin.

  15. Alan | 5:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    The first two characters in the Chinese name of the place are 蓝图 (=藍圖, 藍図), which is literally “blueprint” in English. How on Earth did someone manage to come up with Post-Mortem?

  16. Ralph Hamilton | 5:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I wouldn’t be seen dead in this palce.

  17. jjhitt | 6:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Why put pennies on your eyes when you can have designer frames that match your face and discoloration?

  18. Xila | 6:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    You don’t want the afterlife to be blurry, do you?

  19. Jetsuzu | 6:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Strictly specializing in botched laser surgery

  20. Big Fat Cat | 7:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh mine, I find Sarah Palin’s eyeglasses there.

  21. kringo | 8:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The only sure things in life are death, taxes, and great deals on eyewear!

  22. Classic Steve | 8:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If you really want the spirits of your dead relatives watching over you…

  23. Dude | 9:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Post-Mortem Optical Glasses:

    The maker doesn’t want ’em,
    The buyer doesn’t use ’em
    And the user is unaware of ’em.

  24. kringo | 9:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    For people who are dying to have better vision.

  25. kringo | 10:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    He’s dead, and now has 20/20 vision, Jim.

  26. Pete | 11:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Dude, those are some KILLER specs!

  27. Ani | 11:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “Some remedies are worse than the disease.”
    -Publilius Syrus

  28. Cecily | 12:52 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I died when I saw the optician’s bill!

  29. theillen | 1:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    They say you gain clarity when you die. But only if you’ve had your eyes examined in the last 12 months.

  30. Ani | 1:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz
    He dies and then de-COM-pose-es
    Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz
    But he had some real rad EYE-glasses…

  31. bigcaddy | 2:15 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    now that CAsper got his glasses, he floats throught doors instead of walls

  32. Lollerskate | 5:43 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The Undead aren’t known for their eyesight…

  33. dangevin | 6:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “Okay, read line number four.”
    “B-R-A-I-N-S”
    “Hm, I think you’re going to need a stronger perscrip…NO…AAAUGH!”

  34. dangevin | 6:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    See our new Zombie-Chic line of “thrilling” corrective shades.

  35. dangevin | 6:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Hello? Vell yes, I lost my monocle and need a new vun by sunrise!

  36. anonymous | 8:59 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Well, The Chinese written could be tranlated into just three English words: “Blueprint Optometry Centre”….

  37. Ani | 1:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Help Wanted: Cadavers for use as mannequins to display our full range of eyewear.

  38. xvl260 | 1:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The Chinese name is 蓝图which means Blueprint. I wonder how they got post mortem. lol.

  39. Yugan | 6:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    ani: it says blue print, tu, not garden. Post Mortem, probably what they had in mind was Post Modern.. same difference….

  40. whirlabou | 9:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Scented Gardens for the Blind – a fantastic album by New Zeeland based band Dragon.

  41. Ani | 11:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Yugan:

    Obviously my hanzi are a little rusty. Never learned “lan tu” for “blueprint” but makes sense.

    Hen ganxie.

  42. anonymous | 7:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    ani: In fact, the Chinese lan tu (traditional: 藍圖; simplifed: 蓝图) is in fact just a word-by-word direct translation of blueprint, and means the same thing.

  43. Kitsune | 7:34 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Our new bifocals allow you to see both living and dead people

  44. Chuck | 8:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The Beatles said to beware the tax-man. They said “He’d take the pennies from my eyes.”

    But the mortician got there first and took my $950 Gucci’s !!

    (Here’s the irony: I bought ’em with a tax refund !)

  45. fv fxnbfcbh cxfhn fxbhnjm gfvbhnm gfvbdgtjm ngfvtdhn | 9:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    bit late now, isn’t it?

  46. Indigo | 4:42 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Your dead relatives DO watch you. …and now they can see you even better.

  47. PomPomtastic | 8:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    …And so I thought “I hate people but I love Optometry. Post-Mortem Optometry!”

  48. yoyo | 8:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Check out our diefocals.

  49. kittaay | 5:13 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    WAIT. THOSE AREN’T MY GLASSES.

  50. joybee88 | 12:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Even if it’s ‘Post-Modern…’ it’d still baffle me
    Would you see the world as if u were in a Picasso painting after u put them on or what…

  51. LarryLizard | 7:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    For those mothers that lose their sight post-mortem.

    … Or those who want to see the world as if they are post-mortem?…

  52. Kiael | 10:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    In about an hour… afrer you’re dead.

  53. JacobL | 2:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Hmm a Chindogu, No? Glasses for dead people..

  54. Damien | 2:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I can see clearly now my brain is dead

  55. FatKenney | 4:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Do they distribute the optical glasses or the cadavers?

  56. ray | 12:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Dead right again

  57. fifi | 7:19 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Who here knows someone with a seeing-eye zombie?

  58. Seventy2rd o clock | 2:48 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Read In Peace

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