Manicure Set

posted on 3 Sep 2009 in Chinglish

Photo courtesy of Kay Streubel.

113 captions

  1. coffeebot | 2:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 34  Subtract rating 4  

    When the Guantanamo prisoners heard torture was outlawed, everybody signed up to have their nails done!

  2. Algernon | 2:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 21  Subtract rating 1  

    My what large hands you have.

  3. ez | 2:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 25  Subtract rating 0  

    For that really stubborn in-grown toenail.

  4. DieselDragon | 2:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 43  Subtract rating 0  

    The manicure set for REAL men! :)

  5. jjhitt | 2:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 22  Subtract rating 0  

    Go to the store and get me a six pack of nail polish.

  6. Pikon | 3:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 6  

    In the middle east… yes, this is a manicure set. They don’t just cut your nails, you’ll never have to worry about them growing back ever!

  7. coffeebot | 3:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 0  

    Madge was so surpised at how TRUTHFUL the customers became at the nail salon…

  8. Globe Trotter | 3:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Welcome to the Medievil Spa. As an option, today you can have a blood letting with leaches while you receive your manicure!

  9. beechoak | 3:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    for WHAT?…

  10. beechoak | 3:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    for WHAT?!??? … a Wookie???

  11. Ani | 3:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    China’s answer to waterboarding: “Talk, or you get THIS.”

  12. Pete | 3:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Special pack for North Korean Military customers (includes scalpel and testicle remover) available for an additional ¥2,500.

  13. kringo | 4:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    The Europeans think all Americans are cowboys. The Chinese must think we’re all Frankenstein.

  14. McBee | 4:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Manicure Inquisition-style!

  15. beechoak | 4:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    This way if you use the bottle opener instead of twisting the cap off, you won’t run the risk of breaking a nail.

  16. Grifter | 5:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    You got a six-pack? I got a TEN pack!

  17. Pete | 5:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    No one escapes the Chinese inquisition!

  18. Salome | 5:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Of course I’m not intoxicated, officer. I’ve just been for a manicure.

  19. dangevin | 5:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Chinese efficiency: “Nailpolish remover” that simply removes the nail.

  20. dangevin | 5:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    This isn’t what I meant when I asked for one of those new digital corkscrews.

  21. bigcaddy | 6:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    keeps your beer and wine bottle looking great

  22. Big Fat Cat | 6:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Manicure set for horses and elephants

  23. jjhitt | 6:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    “Madge, is this Palmolive Liquid I’m soaking in?”

    “No, it’s MD 20/20.”

  24. Bystander | 6:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    The better to scratch you with, my dear….

  25. Xila | 6:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Word quickly spread through the dorm not to let Beth do your nails.

  26. MingTheMerciless | 6:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Mani cures for the common sobriety.

  27. Pete | 6:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Enthusiastically received by consumers who strive to keep their spirits well-trimmed!

  28. Lucy | 7:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    The secret of manicurists everywhere – it’s a lot easier when the customer is passed out on the floor.

  29. Chris | 7:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    And do-it-yourself surgery kit…

  30. Carlo | 7:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I am a man in cure, that’s why I need to drink a lot!

  31. Juulie | 9:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    … and you don’t want to see the Pedicure Kit!

  32. emma | 10:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    for the man whose as hard as nails!!

  33. Ageless | 12:06 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    It’s for opening your make-up, can’t you see that?

  34. Cecily | 12:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Lloyd Christmas’s manicure set.

  35. Tehani | 1:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    “Take the prisoner to the tortu….errrrr…….manicure chamber!”

  36. Chuck | 3:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Puts the MAN in manicure ! (Maybe just the MANIC !)

  37. Rice1 | 4:26 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    For some reason, I never have any repeat customers

  38. Ralph Hamilton | 4:45 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 1  

    AAARRRGGGGHHHH!!

  39. Teru | 5:24 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Manicure set for masochists

  40. pamela38 | 6:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    The only nail colour option is red though…

  41. DanT | 7:15 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    How am supposed to open this bottle with file set?

  42. Choo-Choo | 7:18 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Looks more like it’s supposed to help you get hammered.

  43. Bill Posters | 11:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    You should see their excellent range of sex toys.

  44. coffeebot | 3:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 1  

    “Madge, DISHwashing Liquid?”
    “No, Waterboarding. You’re soaking in it!”

  45. thomas | 11:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    What doesn’t kill you make you…prettier.

  46. Sael | 10:19 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Ouch.

  47. Lollerskate | 10:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Cheers!

  48. buffy | 12:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    ….for Dexter Morgan.

  49. Max | 4:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    They don’t **** around in China…

  50. Kitsune | 3:18 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Is this like “cow tools”

  51. Lanz16 | 12:52 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I think that manicure set is designed for Elephants

  52. Jori | 5:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    You should see the pedicure set….

  53. Jane's | 1:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    The Chinese Answer to the Swiss Army Knife

  54. Phat | 2:26 pm |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 1  

    The only Manicure set endorsed by Chuck Norris

  55. Jetsuzu | 11:01 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    i see they finally auctioned off Hannibal Lecter’s “manicure” set….

  56. arasuki | 7:51 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    They finally invented a manicure set for my dad

  57. litik | 11:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 1  

    They definitely heard about Nine Inch Nails.

  58. eazyduzit | 7:29 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    big black man: “hey buddy can i use your bottle opener to pop open my beer?”

    chinese man: “no no no! dat is my manicure set. za bottle openah weell be fownd in my wife’s spa!”

  59. robb | 6:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    this might be legal to possess in a prison.
    they’d love manicure.

  60. suiboM | 11:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    How to recycle father’s day gift for mother’s day.

  61. Atli Hafsteinsson | 2:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    When all specialists fail…

  62. nani | 10:12 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    ..and it works for me!

  63. casey | 12:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    ouch

  64. Wijdan | 3:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Now you can open up those nails for an even better cleaning!

  65. Sammeh | 12:03 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    It works for Edward Scissorhands or Freddy Krugger.

  66. Austin Kendall | 5:21 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    CAUTION! Only for those who want to pry their fingernails off, corkscrew their eyes out!

  67. bright1eyes1 | 5:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    That’s what it feels like when the Asian ladies do my nails. Perhaps this is what they use in Beauty School…

  68. james | 4:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    It’s saws version of a manicure!

  69. Mr. Briggs | 9:40 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    It was a gift for Superman, who had fingernails of steel.

  70. Captaincumando | 4:33 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Why keep cutting your nails every day, when you can cut your fingers off right now!

  71. bigcountry | 10:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    For those hard to manicure hands!

  72. drumming_panda | 5:09 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Hey doc! We’ve got someone here with some REALLY screwed up hands!

  73. hejimony | 4:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    For Make Happy the Mangled Fingers

  74. Conventi | 3:03 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Finally, a manicure set for Robocop.

  75. bobdog | 6:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I guess, they forgot to write the words ” for horse”

  76. Kath | 9:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Finally, a manicure set for Wolverine.

  77. amy | 8:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    ouch

  78. Michael | 9:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    The complete nail removal kit…for completely removing the nails!

  79. Dave the Japan IT guy | 9:00 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    OUCH!

  80. dragon | 1:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t buy it for mom!

  81. Raymund Victor | 5:38 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    If that’s your manicure set, I do’nt ever wanna see your fingernails!!!!

  82. BAM1104 | 9:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “Manicure Set”:Contents: 1 repackaged bottle opener. 1 Wine bottle opener. 1…….. Is that a fish on the side of it?

  83. Greg | 7:59 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    For the Jack Bauer in all of us.

  84. chieromancer | 1:08 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    From the Foster Brooks collection of fine grooming products.

    “Drink enough and you won’t give a damn what your nails look like.”

  85. iM CRAZY!! | 9:26 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    side effects may include lose of lims

  86. Anika | 9:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I think it broke my face, BUT MY NAILS LOOK FABULOUS !! 😀

  87. Futurama | 4:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 1  

    Bender’s favorite

  88. - | 10:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    how fantastic! now, my left hand nails are holled, and some on my left hand are missing! the others have simply dissapered(along with the fingers)!

  89. mickeygreeneyes | 8:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Then just pop the cork with your new steel fingernails! No fuss, no muss, no bother!

  90. Pedro | 10:18 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Do not mock Bigfoot’s manicure set.

  91. Tatyana | 11:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 1  

    Special Nazi addition, it seems…

  92. FatKenney | 5:01 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Meanwhile, across town, some other poor schmuck was trying to uncork his chardonnay with nail clippers.

  93. DFlyinLion | 8:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    makey you fingels plitty, no porish need. brood led onry corror. so solly miss morry.

  94. Kurt Hudson | 12:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    You might feel a little pinch…

  95. Clair | 6:45 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    My nails look great! Well I should say my new nails, because after I used that my nails fell off…

  96. Jacynda Hendriks | 5:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Finally, Edward Sissorhands can style his claws!

  97. Aliese | 12:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    You want pedicure? Only twenty dollah moah.

  98. Doff | 7:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    I bought this and I am now typing with a stick in my mouth.

  99. CHF | 12:51 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Yes … that will cure you of being a man.

  100. MGabbard | 8:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    For the masochist that has everything…

  101. loserbeep | 3:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    My step-mom’s gonna LOVE this!

  102. Doug | 10:55 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    ‘Makes you wonder why all nail techs in America are asian.

  103. Mere | 1:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Guys come on. This manicure set isn’t for you to actually do your nails with it, it’s to protect your manicure after it’s done. Think about it. What do you use to open screw lid bottles and pop tab cans? Your nails! And I have personally ruined many manicures trying to open a diet pepsi. This is a fabulous idea. I want one.

  104. Jamyskis | 8:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Reminds me of the manicure that George Clooney got in Syriana.

  105. Justin Bieber | 2:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I’d love to see your toenail clippers (a.k.a. hammers and drills)!!!!!

  106. Chinese Translation | 9:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Personally I think this set is a bit too hard core.

  107. noneofyourbusiness | 12:52 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    when are they releasing their makeup set?

  108. Biff the Understudy | 1:17 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Ceci n’est pas une sète de manicure

  109. l2646134 | 6:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Nail clipper is for the WEAK!

  110. Erika | 6:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Torture set

  111. Blue yoshi cool | 7:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Whoa.this might be Wolverine’s Manicure set.

  112. thedonger | 12:00 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    On back of packaging:
    “Come in hand if want pop cap off your bottle, poke hole in your can, or screw your cork.”

  113. TSu | 1:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    hahaha, fantastic !!! 😉

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