Girt problems?

posted on 21 Oct 2009 in Chinglish

Thieves are people too; they deserve a little TLC…

Photo courtesy of Casey Greely.
In room hotel note from Guangzhou, China.

72 captions

  1. dangevin | 2:26 am |

    No, Wierd Al, I don’t have four quarters for your dollar bill.

  2. Algernon | 2:51 am |

    A hotel for the depressed.

  3. Algernon | 2:52 am |

    Is a girt something like a Jabberwocky.

  4. Ralph. Hamilton | 3:20 am |

    If I can’t have a girt in my room, I will have to enjoy myself.

  5. jjhitt | 3:23 am |

    Only the finer hotels warn you of the dangers of the girt.

  6. beechoak | 3:33 am |

    I don’t know if I can enjoy myself with all these rules.

  7. Big Fat Cat | 3:33 am |

    Strange girt is dangerous. Leave her in the room alone and let her take care the thief.

  8. beechoak | 3:35 am |

    So I guess buying Underground Cheat Shoes is out, too, since I can’t do business with stranger people.

  9. beechoak | 3:41 am |

    Michael Jackson must have written these rules:

    The girt was persuasive
    The girt I could not trust
    The girt was bad
    The girt was dangerous

  10. Pete | 3:53 am |

    Stranger girt. For foreign person relax time.

  11. Big Fat Cat | 4:34 am |

    Bring strange girt into hotel room will hurt you because your wife will hit you with frying pan

  12. Ageless | 4:45 am |

    I’ll make sure whenever I go out to bring my luggage and money. That’ll have the thief confused.

  13. GoodGuy | 4:46 am |

    Its true. I should have listened to Mother…

  14. Yugan | 4:56 am |

    girl + dirt = girt, dangerous for sure!

  15. Grifter | 4:57 am |

    Fourth: I think I’m going to find a hotel that’s girt-free

  16. Brandon | 5:05 am |

    I usually have to talk about business and exchange money in order to get stranger girt into my room. That’s the only way I can enjoy your hotel.

  17. Terry | 5:53 am |

    Girt Power!

  18. Xila | 6:24 am |

    Dear Guest: recently our guests have been mugged by hookers and pimps. Also STDs are rampant. Have a nice day!

  19. Jetsuzu | 7:01 am |

    The theif isn’t feeling well. We’d better take care of him.

  20. Yugan | 7:02 am |

    change money with strange people, okay, but never with stranger people or strangest people!

  21. Alex Sortor | 7:07 am |

    @Big Fat Cat – I believe you mean “your wife will hit you with a frying disk”

  22. KinkyTom | 8:00 am |

    The thief isn’t feeling well because I hurt his life when he tried to rob me.

  23. Veggiet | 8:07 am |

    You mean there are stranger people than you?

  24. beechoak | 8:43 am |

    She’s a dirly girt!

  25. willz | 8:51 am |

    How in the world am I suppose to enjoy myself if I can’t bring in a dangerous girt?

  26. Pete | 9:06 am |

    I was in Beijing just this past December and right outside my hotel lobby doors in Wangfujing, just past the hotel taxi stand, was some attractive young woman who asked me if I wanted a girt in my room.

    I told her, in Mandarin Chinese, that my wife was in my room and that it might be a little too crowded.

    She said “OH, you speak China!”

    I said “Not ALL of it.”

  27. Pete | 9:53 am |

    Still more interesting Engrish from the Guangzhou Hua Ting Hotel:

    Apparently, instead of the word “weekdays” the word the hotel uses is “Peace Time”. Check out the difference between weekend and “Peace Time” rates:

    http://www.gzta.com/english/1668.htm

  28. Dude | 10:42 am |

    I’m baffled by all this billchit.

  29. kringo | 1:01 pm |

    It will hurt your life or else it gets…oh never mind.

  30. DanT | 1:13 pm |

    No girt in the room means you have to “enjoy” yourself

  31. unknowed | 1:25 pm |

    How /can/ I enjoy myself with all these restrictions?

  32. Someone | 2:07 pm |

    Ouch, my life! I wish I was a no-lifer so my life couldn’t hurt me, so I could bring stranger girt into my room.

  33. Hua Ting | 2:58 pm |

    The First rule of the Hua Ting Hotel: Don’t bring any stranger girl.
    The Second rule of the Hua Ting Hotel: DO NOT bring any stranger girl.

    Oh, by the way, please take care of those thieves. They need money.

  34. Ralph. Hamilton | 2:59 pm |

    We Australians are girt by sea.

  35. Chuck | 3:24 pm |

    Let the thief and Baboosh take of themselves ! Or each other, for all I care.

  36. bigcaddy | 3:38 pm |

    OK! TAKE MY MONEY AND PASSPORT! HERE HAVE SOME COFFEE BEFORE YOU KILL ME!

  37. kringo | 4:08 pm |

    So, Emo Phillips, Bjork, the #1 fan character from the Amanda show, and Phil Spector walk into a bar, and. . . I did not bring up the subject of business with them!

  38. Ralph. Hamilton | 9:09 pm |

    I will take my baboosh to my room, and indulge in hulaballoo with our frying disk. We will have fun.

  39. Lora | 11:16 am |

    Don’t worry, I’ll take care of the thief…with my black-belt Kung Fu!!

  40. yennadey ammappa! | 12:00 am |

    perhaps, as an option, i still can do businesses with the strangest people…

  41. Yugan | 4:23 am |

    @Pete:
    That’s a tough one! I think “peacetime” is an attempted translation of 平時, å¹³ as in 和平, but here, flat, ordinary, calm… peacetime. Well, compared to some weekends I can remember, weekdays have been peacetime.
    You’ve got to hand it to Huating for originality!

  42. CCrider77 | 3:06 pm |

    Ya know, you just can’t make this stuff up…

  43. Mark | 8:21 pm |

    I wouldn’t trust Gert, Mildred or Bertha, either.

  44. LarryLizard | 7:58 am |

    We’ve got girts that will kill you, strangers that will take your money, and thieves in need of attention. Have a nice stay anyway.

  45. Peter | 4:41 am |

    Girt means ” surrounded ” so you have to have a room full of girts

  46. geerean | 8:16 pm |

    Please take notice of the Girt Alert. It is now level orange.

  47. befmetngaget | 10:09 am |

    it’s true, stranger girls will hurt your life.

  48. ylliboy | 10:40 pm |

    at least the hotel management has a compassion to the thief by reminding the guest to take care of them…

  49. Damien | 3:04 am |

    If they know her name is Girt, then how can she be a stranger? And I am just curious as whether the thief has any special needs so I can be sure to take care of him properly.

  50. iM CRAZY!! | 9:32 pm |

    girt = deranged hobo

  51. don | 8:41 am |

    ok thief here’s my camera and wallet. oh take my laptop too. you might want to eat some breakfast first before you go..

  52. Jayboy | 3:44 am |

    I got 99 problems but a girt ain’t one.

  53. mickeygreeneyes | 8:13 pm |

    I assure you, if I bring a stranger girt into my room, I won’t try to stuff him , her, or it into that little box on the wall with the combination lock, but thanks for the sign anyway! Have a nice day!

  54. Clair | 6:48 pm |

    Take care thief!

  55. Doff | 7:07 am |

    After reading that, I think I’ll stick to just enjoying myself. No stranger girts or anything else at all for me.

  56. ray | 1:15 am |

    Fourth, whatever you do , don’t tell your wife.

  57. girt | 11:56 am |

    no girt no enjoyment

  58. G. James | 9:27 am |

    No girts? What about purlins?

    May all your Zs be cold-formed.

  59. loserbeep | 3:40 am |

    We hope you can enjoy yourself after reading about these horrific ‘girt’ objects.

  60. Mel :D | 5:01 am |

    Thief, you need exercise. Now let me take you for a walk 😀 *pat pat*

  61. Michael Jones | 12:11 pm |

    FINE, I’ll bring the just slightly strange girl back instead 😀

  62. Gerson | 3:58 am |

    How else will I have sex?

    With girls I know? BLAH!

  63. ArallaHiney | 2:01 pm |

    Girt is minion of Orochi! Use Celestian Brush if attacked! Listen to Green Flea advice even if Badger Hairy!

  64. romantictoysci | 12:23 am |

    best resource for your all your cheap sex toys solutions

  65. Jeremy | 1:29 pm |

    Do not get the girt wet.
    Do not feed the girt after midnight.

  66. Daniel | 9:57 pm |

    If you’re having girt problems, I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but a girt ain’t one.

  67. Biplane | 10:07 am |

    It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a girt.

    You were eaten by a girt.

    RESTART? (Y/N)

  68. Cindi | 1:53 am |

    But what if i didn’t talk about business or exchange money with the strange grits then the thief took care of all my luggage? No danger, no experiencing China.

  69. AramK | 9:16 pm |

    Do you have two tens for a five?

  70. KribyMairo12354 | 5:47 am |

    Make sure to look after the thief.

  71. Seventy2rd o clock | 9:13 pm |

    I suspect a girt is not a stranger around hotels at all …

  72. Myself | 7:10 pm |

    So I’ll keep the girt out but take good care of the thieves.

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