Girt problems?

posted on 21 Oct 2009 in Chinglish

Thieves are people too; they deserve a little TLC…

Photo courtesy of Casey Greely.
In room hotel note from Guangzhou, China.

72 captions

  1. dangevin | 2:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 18  Subtract rating 0  

    No, Wierd Al, I don’t have four quarters for your dollar bill.

  2. Algernon | 2:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 1  

    A hotel for the depressed.

  3. Algernon | 2:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 19  Subtract rating 1  

    Is a girt something like a Jabberwocky.

  4. Ralph. Hamilton | 3:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 38  Subtract rating 0  

    If I can’t have a girt in my room, I will have to enjoy myself.

  5. jjhitt | 3:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 36  Subtract rating 0  

    Only the finer hotels warn you of the dangers of the girt.

  6. beechoak | 3:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    I don’t know if I can enjoy myself with all these rules.

  7. Big Fat Cat | 3:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 24  Subtract rating 0  

    Strange girt is dangerous. Leave her in the room alone and let her take care the thief.

  8. beechoak | 3:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    So I guess buying Underground Cheat Shoes is out, too, since I can’t do business with stranger people.

  9. beechoak | 3:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Michael Jackson must have written these rules:

    The girt was persuasive
    The girt I could not trust
    The girt was bad
    The girt was dangerous

  10. Pete | 3:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Stranger girt. For foreign person relax time.

  11. Big Fat Cat | 4:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    Bring strange girt into hotel room will hurt you because your wife will hit you with frying pan

  12. Ageless | 4:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll make sure whenever I go out to bring my luggage and money. That’ll have the thief confused.

  13. GoodGuy | 4:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Its true. I should have listened to Mother…

  14. Yugan | 4:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    girl + dirt = girt, dangerous for sure!

  15. Grifter | 4:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Fourth: I think I’m going to find a hotel that’s girt-free

  16. Brandon | 5:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I usually have to talk about business and exchange money in order to get stranger girt into my room. That’s the only way I can enjoy your hotel.

  17. Terry | 5:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Girt Power!

  18. Xila | 6:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Dear Guest: recently our guests have been mugged by hookers and pimps. Also STDs are rampant. Have a nice day!

  19. Jetsuzu | 7:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    The theif isn’t feeling well. We’d better take care of him.

  20. Yugan | 7:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    change money with strange people, okay, but never with stranger people or strangest people!

  21. Alex Sortor | 7:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    @Big Fat Cat – I believe you mean “your wife will hit you with a frying disk”

  22. KinkyTom | 8:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    The thief isn’t feeling well because I hurt his life when he tried to rob me.

  23. Veggiet | 8:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    You mean there are stranger people than you?

  24. beechoak | 8:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    She’s a dirly girt!

  25. willz | 8:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    How in the world am I suppose to enjoy myself if I can’t bring in a dangerous girt?

  26. Pete | 9:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    I was in Beijing just this past December and right outside my hotel lobby doors in Wangfujing, just past the hotel taxi stand, was some attractive young woman who asked me if I wanted a girt in my room.

    I told her, in Mandarin Chinese, that my wife was in my room and that it might be a little too crowded.

    She said “OH, you speak China!”

    I said “Not ALL of it.”

  27. Pete | 9:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Still more interesting Engrish from the Guangzhou Hua Ting Hotel:

    Apparently, instead of the word “weekdays” the word the hotel uses is “Peace Time”. Check out the difference between weekend and “Peace Time” rates:

    http://www.gzta.com/english/1668.htm

  28. Dude | 10:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I’m baffled by all this billchit.

  29. kringo | 1:01 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    It will hurt your life or else it gets…oh never mind.

  30. DanT | 1:13 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    No girt in the room means you have to “enjoy” yourself

  31. unknowed | 1:25 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    How /can/ I enjoy myself with all these restrictions?

  32. Someone | 2:07 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Ouch, my life! I wish I was a no-lifer so my life couldn’t hurt me, so I could bring stranger girt into my room.

  33. Hua Ting | 2:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    The First rule of the Hua Ting Hotel: Don’t bring any stranger girl.
    The Second rule of the Hua Ting Hotel: DO NOT bring any stranger girl.

    Oh, by the way, please take care of those thieves. They need money.

  34. Ralph. Hamilton | 2:59 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    We Australians are girt by sea.

  35. Chuck | 3:24 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Let the thief and Baboosh take of themselves ! Or each other, for all I care.

  36. bigcaddy | 3:38 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    OK! TAKE MY MONEY AND PASSPORT! HERE HAVE SOME COFFEE BEFORE YOU KILL ME!

  37. kringo | 4:08 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    So, Emo Phillips, Bjork, the #1 fan character from the Amanda show, and Phil Spector walk into a bar, and. . . I did not bring up the subject of business with them!

  38. Ralph. Hamilton | 9:09 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I will take my baboosh to my room, and indulge in hulaballoo with our frying disk. We will have fun.

  39. Lora | 11:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t worry, I’ll take care of the thief…with my black-belt Kung Fu!!

  40. yennadey ammappa! | 12:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    perhaps, as an option, i still can do businesses with the strangest people…

  41. Yugan | 4:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    @Pete:
    That’s a tough one! I think “peacetime” is an attempted translation of 平時, å¹³ as in 和平, but here, flat, ordinary, calm… peacetime. Well, compared to some weekends I can remember, weekdays have been peacetime.
    You’ve got to hand it to Huating for originality!

  42. CCrider77 | 3:06 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Ya know, you just can’t make this stuff up…

  43. Mark | 8:21 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I wouldn’t trust Gert, Mildred or Bertha, either.

  44. LarryLizard | 7:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    We’ve got girts that will kill you, strangers that will take your money, and thieves in need of attention. Have a nice stay anyway.

  45. Peter | 4:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Girt means ” surrounded ” so you have to have a room full of girts

  46. geerean | 8:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Please take notice of the Girt Alert. It is now level orange.

  47. befmetngaget | 10:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    it’s true, stranger girls will hurt your life.

  48. ylliboy | 10:40 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 1  

    at least the hotel management has a compassion to the thief by reminding the guest to take care of them…

  49. Damien | 3:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    If they know her name is Girt, then how can she be a stranger? And I am just curious as whether the thief has any special needs so I can be sure to take care of him properly.

  50. iM CRAZY!! | 9:32 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    girt = deranged hobo

  51. don | 8:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    ok thief here’s my camera and wallet. oh take my laptop too. you might want to eat some breakfast first before you go..

  52. Jayboy | 3:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I got 99 problems but a girt ain’t one.

  53. mickeygreeneyes | 8:13 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I assure you, if I bring a stranger girt into my room, I won’t try to stuff him , her, or it into that little box on the wall with the combination lock, but thanks for the sign anyway! Have a nice day!

  54. Clair | 6:48 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Take care thief!

  55. Doff | 7:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    After reading that, I think I’ll stick to just enjoying myself. No stranger girts or anything else at all for me.

  56. ray | 1:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Fourth, whatever you do , don’t tell your wife.

  57. girt | 11:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    no girt no enjoyment

  58. G. James | 9:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    No girts? What about purlins?

    May all your Zs be cold-formed.

  59. loserbeep | 3:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    We hope you can enjoy yourself after reading about these horrific ‘girt’ objects.

  60. Mel :D | 5:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Thief, you need exercise. Now let me take you for a walk 😀 *pat pat*

  61. Michael Jones | 12:11 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    FINE, I’ll bring the just slightly strange girl back instead 😀

  62. Gerson | 3:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    How else will I have sex?

    With girls I know? BLAH!

  63. ArallaHiney | 2:01 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 1  

    Girt is minion of Orochi! Use Celestian Brush if attacked! Listen to Green Flea advice even if Badger Hairy!

  64. romantictoysci | 12:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    best resource for your all your cheap sex toys solutions

  65. Jeremy | 1:29 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Do not get the girt wet.
    Do not feed the girt after midnight.

  66. Daniel | 9:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If you’re having girt problems, I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but a girt ain’t one.

  67. Biplane | 10:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a girt.

    You were eaten by a girt.

    RESTART? (Y/N)

  68. Cindi | 1:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    But what if i didn’t talk about business or exchange money with the strange grits then the thief took care of all my luggage? No danger, no experiencing China.

  69. AramK | 9:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Do you have two tens for a five?

  70. KribyMairo12354 | 5:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Make sure to look after the thief.

  71. Seventy2rd o clock | 9:13 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I suspect a girt is not a stranger around hotels at all …

  72. Myself | 7:10 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    So I’ll keep the girt out but take good care of the thieves.

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