Girt problems?
posted on 21 Oct 2009 in Chinglish
Thieves are people too; they deserve a little TLC…
Photo courtesy of Casey Greely.
In room hotel note from Guangzhou, China.
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No, Wierd Al, I don’t have four quarters for your dollar bill.
A hotel for the depressed.
Is a girt something like a Jabberwocky.
If I can’t have a girt in my room, I will have to enjoy myself.
Only the finer hotels warn you of the dangers of the girt.
I don’t know if I can enjoy myself with all these rules.
Strange girt is dangerous. Leave her in the room alone and let her take care the thief.
So I guess buying Underground Cheat Shoes is out, too, since I can’t do business with stranger people.
Michael Jackson must have written these rules:
The girt was persuasive
The girt I could not trust
The girt was bad
The girt was dangerous
Stranger girt. For foreign person relax time.
Bring strange girt into hotel room will hurt you because your wife will hit you with frying pan
I’ll make sure whenever I go out to bring my luggage and money. That’ll have the thief confused.
Its true. I should have listened to Mother…
girl + dirt = girt, dangerous for sure!
Fourth: I think I’m going to find a hotel that’s girt-free
I usually have to talk about business and exchange money in order to get stranger girt into my room. That’s the only way I can enjoy your hotel.
Girt Power!
Dear Guest: recently our guests have been mugged by hookers and pimps. Also STDs are rampant. Have a nice day!
The theif isn’t feeling well. We’d better take care of him.
change money with strange people, okay, but never with stranger people or strangest people!
@Big Fat Cat – I believe you mean “your wife will hit you with a frying disk”
The thief isn’t feeling well because I hurt his life when he tried to rob me.
You mean there are stranger people than you?
She’s a dirly girt!
How in the world am I suppose to enjoy myself if I can’t bring in a dangerous girt?
I was in Beijing just this past December and right outside my hotel lobby doors in Wangfujing, just past the hotel taxi stand, was some attractive young woman who asked me if I wanted a girt in my room.
I told her, in Mandarin Chinese, that my wife was in my room and that it might be a little too crowded.
She said “OH, you speak China!”
I said “Not ALL of it.”
Still more interesting Engrish from the Guangzhou Hua Ting Hotel:
Apparently, instead of the word “weekdays” the word the hotel uses is “Peace Time”. Check out the difference between weekend and “Peace Time” rates:
http://www.gzta.com/english/1668.htm
I’m baffled by all this billchit.
It will hurt your life or else it gets…oh never mind.
No girt in the room means you have to “enjoy” yourself
How /can/ I enjoy myself with all these restrictions?
Ouch, my life! I wish I was a no-lifer so my life couldn’t hurt me, so I could bring stranger girt into my room.
The First rule of the Hua Ting Hotel: Don’t bring any stranger girl.
The Second rule of the Hua Ting Hotel: DO NOT bring any stranger girl.
Oh, by the way, please take care of those thieves. They need money.
We Australians are girt by sea.
Let the thief and Baboosh take of themselves ! Or each other, for all I care.
OK! TAKE MY MONEY AND PASSPORT! HERE HAVE SOME COFFEE BEFORE YOU KILL ME!
So, Emo Phillips, Bjork, the #1 fan character from the Amanda show, and Phil Spector walk into a bar, and. . . I did not bring up the subject of business with them!
I will take my baboosh to my room, and indulge in hulaballoo with our frying disk. We will have fun.
Don’t worry, I’ll take care of the thief…with my black-belt Kung Fu!!
perhaps, as an option, i still can do businesses with the strangest people…
@Pete:
That’s a tough one! I think “peacetime” is an attempted translation of 平時, 平 as in 和平, but here, flat, ordinary, calm… peacetime. Well, compared to some weekends I can remember, weekdays have been peacetime.
You’ve got to hand it to Huating for originality!
Ya know, you just can’t make this stuff up…
I wouldn’t trust Gert, Mildred or Bertha, either.
We’ve got girts that will kill you, strangers that will take your money, and thieves in need of attention. Have a nice stay anyway.
Girt means ” surrounded ” so you have to have a room full of girts
Please take notice of the Girt Alert. It is now level orange.
it’s true, stranger girls will hurt your life.
at least the hotel management has a compassion to the thief by reminding the guest to take care of them…