Instructions for the tourist…

posted on 29 Oct 2009 in Engrish from Other Countries, Instructions

Photo courtesy of Alison Honey.
Sign found at mall in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
Some have suggested Paragon Mall is in Bangkok or Singapore.

84 captions

  1. Pete | 2:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 88  Subtract rating 2  

    I wanted to go to the naughty palace. But I had some stupid disease and they woudln’t let me in.

    So I gave my son some artillery and said “Boy, be as naughty as you want!”

  2. DieselDragon | 2:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 36  Subtract rating 4  

    Residents of Kuala Lumpar - On the other hand - May do all practical jokes, throw with the balls, and play with the disease as they see fit. :)

  3. jjhitt | 2:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 98  Subtract rating 2  

    Is that your head protruding from the spherical surface or are you just glad to see me?

  4. Ralph. Hamilton | 2:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 5  

    It very disrespectful to wear shoes in naughty palace. Female staffer not use civilization language.

  5. jjhitt | 3:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 65  Subtract rating 1  

    Forbid sharp things, use artillery instead.

  6. Brandon | 3:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 31  Subtract rating 7  

    “If the tourist has… stupid disease…”?! I’ve never seen a naughty palace call people out like that! If you can’t go in the naughty palace if you have stupid disease they are really going to lose a lot of customers considering how many stupid people there are in this world.

  7. beechoak | 3:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 35  Subtract rating 1  

    “#2: Forbid to carry sharp things… such as knife.” Well, I’m glad they cleared THAT up!

  8. beechoak | 3:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 21  Subtract rating 4  

    No quarreling. Just “pants” them and give them an Indian burn instead.

  9. dangevin | 3:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 55  Subtract rating 1  

    Our Malaysian scientists have been hard at work on that flying saucer, and now look you’ve got chocolate fingerprints all over it.

  10. beechoak | 3:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 38  Subtract rating 1  

    “Hey, you! The tourist with the balls! You throw like a girl!”

  11. dangevin | 3:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 51  Subtract rating 1  

    Forbidden from the naughty palace? Oh, the irony.

  12. Chicken Underweaaar | 3:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 37  Subtract rating 2  

    “Not permit to touch with the flying saucer and the airplane”

    Sounds like birth control advice to me

  13. beechoak | 3:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 43  Subtract rating 0  

    “#5: Obey the naughty palace’s safe navigation… or you’ll get spanked. And spanked and spanked and spanked! you mad, impetuous boy!”

  14. beechoak | 3:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 1  

    #6: Go breach!

  15. beechoak | 3:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 18  Subtract rating 1  

    “Okay, children! The words are stool, urine and spit!… not sh*t, p*ss, and loogies!”

  16. beechoak | 3:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 20  Subtract rating 1  

    “Today were going to talk about architecture and civil engineering…”

  17. beechoak | 3:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 22  Subtract rating 0  

    #9: If you have… aw, screw it,… if you have ANY disease, you are forbidden to play.”

  18. beechoak | 3:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 56  Subtract rating 0  

    I told you stupidity was contagious! It’s practically a pandemic!

  19. beechoak | 3:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 28  Subtract rating 0  

    Hey, do me a favor… look in the gun barrel and tell me if the artillary is stuck.

  20. beechoak | 4:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 17  Subtract rating 1  

    And what kinds of “guns” and “artillary” would the naughty palace have?

  21. beechoak | 4:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 28  Subtract rating 0  

    No knives allowed. You can bring all the guns you want as long as you give your target a head start.

  22. Ralph. Hamilton | 4:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 0  

    It not be sporting to shoot people at close distance. Run them to a moderate distance let be.

  23. beechoak | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 1  

    “… and tell me, Billy,… do you “see” the flying saucer now?…is it talking to you?”

  24. beechoak | 4:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    #12: So I take it raw oysters and champagne are out of the question?

  25. Big Fat Cat | 4:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 2  

    No man’s head can stay in the “tube” until the baby matures and passes through the tube.

  26. Ralph. Hamilton | 4:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 10  

    Devil not allowed oral-sex in naughty palace. Spirituous liquors not allowed on premises.

  27. rowger | 4:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 0  

    At Paragon Shopping Center, even accidents are forbidden!

  28. BeadyEl | 4:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 73  Subtract rating 2  

    “Unngh!! Oook ugg narr grahh!!”

    “Hey!! You there! USE CIVILIZATION LANGUAGE!”

  29. gbear | 4:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 33  Subtract rating 1  

    Naughty Palace? All these rules kind of kill the whole “NAUGHTY” concept.

  30. Blaze | 4:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 20  Subtract rating 5  

    Seriously, don’t stay in the tube. What if your mother is having twins! Your sibling needs to get out, too, you know.

  31. Grifter | 5:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 24  Subtract rating 1  

    The naughty palace doesn’t sound like a very fun place.

  32. Pete | 5:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 1  

    Maybe it should be called the “Anti-naughty Palace”?

  33. CallieWL | 5:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 1  

    So are the flying saucer and the airplane grounded?

  34. coffeebot | 6:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 23  Subtract rating 0  

    We got another one with Stupid Disease in Naughty Palace!

  35. Jetsuzu | 6:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 6  

    I don’t think I want my kids playing in any place that begins with the word “Naughty”…

  36. Chris | 7:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 1  

    And watch where you put the naughty bits

  37. Brian | 7:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 22  Subtract rating 0  

    The Naughty Palace … hmm, isn’t that on the strip, next to The Mirage?

  38. Potorrero | 8:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 1  

    The forgot one rule:
    “Please instruct children to leave their guns at the entrance”.

  39. beechoak | 8:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 0  

    You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!

  40. beechoak | 8:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 1  

    Navigate THIS!

  41. Xila | 8:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 21  Subtract rating 1  

    I imagine people with stupid disease are not allowed due to the use of firearms and artillery in the naughty palace.

  42. Bob* | 8:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 1  

    I hope that stupidity is not contagious!

  43. Classic Steve | 9:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 20  Subtract rating 4  

    The signmaker must have ignorant disease.

  44. Dude | 9:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 1  

    #11: Well, I guess E.T. will have to find another place to phone home.

  45. Johhny Markus | 9:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    What kind of Naughty palace won’t let you pee on people or throw things around with your balls??
    Oh well, at least they have flying saucers.

  46. jjhitt | 9:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 17  Subtract rating 1  

    Sounds like a great place to take the Dangerous Stranger Girt.

  47. Pete | 9:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    Two tickets from Guangzhou to Kuala Lumpur, please.
    Yes, me and my friend Girt, here.

  48. KinkyTom | 10:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 0  

    LETS ARTILLERY!!!

  49. Kitsune | 11:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 4  

    Posted at Neverland.

  50. Max | 11:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 2  

    To behave civilized in naughty place or expelled not to return shoes! Spank, berate, wicked disease shame no naughty bad bad.

  51. Kitsune | 4:50 pm |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 1  

    I know quite a few people who have the “Stupid disease”

  52. Chuck | 4:55 pm |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    I’m going back to the Naughtiness Plaza. Too many rules here !

  53. anna | 5:02 pm |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 1  

    Yes No quarelling or touching flying saucer but 5 year olds are permitted to shoot each other as long as it is not at close range

  54. Stryde | 5:55 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    D: O NOES. I cannot play, for I have the stupid disease!

  55. Pete | 6:09 pm |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 18  

    In Soviet Russia, Palace naughties YOU.

  56. Weegee | 6:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 6  

    Sun Tzu says: If the Shopping Centre gives vague instructions and shopper’s fail to follow them, it is the fault of the Shopping Centre.

  57. tk | 11:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 2  

    no civilized urinating

  58. igiboydeguzman | 9:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    At rule 11: Fine, I’ll just touch this helicopter.

  59. cmakeng | 9:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 1  

    The Naughty Palace used to be in Times Square, but they’ve moved. Remember to bring lots of quarters and your own tissues.

  60. Murilo Silva | 12:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    It’s really a naughty, naughty place… they give artillery for the children to play!!

  61. A non-ymous | 1:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Is that a period after “urine” in #8? I’m thinking they’re actually telling us to spit in everything.

  62. vik1982 | 12:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Sounds like a playground Michael Jackson would approve of.

  63. Jim | 6:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Stupid disease! It’s hindering me from throwing with the balls!

  64. CCrider77 | 3:13 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t you know anything? Always remove the children’s shoes before going to the naughty palace!

  65. Joe | 6:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Naughty Palace, eh? Where do I sign up?

  66. garudamon11 | 8:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    damn , so i brought this cannon and muskets for no reason ….

  67. givecreditwhereitsdue | 8:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Paragon Shopping Centre is in Singapore, not Kuala Lumpur.

  68. Lora | 3:45 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 2  

    So there really is a disease that makes people stupid, I sure hope it not is kontayjuss…oh no waddid me just say? …Tweet tweet I is a birdy! NO!!! …Duhh tell me about da rabbits again, George. AAARRRGH!!!

  69. C. A. | 2:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Is there medication for “stupid disease”?

  70. Yugan | 9:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Dubya not welcome: Article 9, clause 4.

  71. C. A. | 4:21 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Let us play in the stupid disease………………

  72. Mark | 8:09 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Rule 13: Ignore rules 1 through 12. This is the naughty palace after all!

  73. Eriynne | 6:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Just a clarification: Paragon Shopping Centre is in Bangkok, not Malaysia.

  74. Emily | 11:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Man, why can’t *all* playgrounds ban people with stupid disease?

  75. bIrqul | 12:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    That does it. We MUST form a charitable organization to find a cure for Stupid Disease! It’s costing us our ability to make rational decisions! Remember, with time and effort, we, too, can conquer another scourge of civilizatioin! }};-]

  76. Tina | 6:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I would like to go, but I have artillery so I cant come in.

  77. Camping of the Spherical Knifes | 9:54 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    If people with stupid disease aren’t allowed how did the sign translators get in to make the sign?

  78. kim | 10:25 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Before you guys laugh, Please make sure that there’s NO Paragon Mall in Malaysia!

  79. tan panama | 8:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    its not in malaysia or thailand or singapore, its in Cambodia. see http://tinyurl.com/yg2osyc

  80. Steven | 7:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh don’t you just hate it when a great Idea from the dutch red light district gets lost in translation!

  81. Kiael | 4:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    No shoes, food, sharp things or throwin with the balls? The naughty place has never been so boring.

  82. NOT IMPORTANT | 6:22 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I wonder if the ball pool is in the Naughty Palace?

  83. Recoil | 5:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I hear there’s a lot of pedophiles in the naughty palace…

  84. kenkostino | 3:48 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Paragon Shopping Mall is located in Bangkok, Not Kuala Lumpur.

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