Entering the tower…
Check out the new God Burger Engrish t-shirt.
Photo courtesy of Pius Ott.
Found at the Pearl Tower in Shanghai, China.
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Caption It! (82)
Don’t dare enter, you ragamuffin!
I now understand why Bruce Lee had to fight his way into the tower
Our tower guards are pathologists and you will be thoroughly studied and examined before allowing into the tower
Interloper will be punished by walking the plank at the top of the tower
So, Crazy Uncle Joe will have to stay at the hotel…
Pardon me, but I have an appointment with a cigarette.
No flint, pyrite, or rubbing two sticks together…
Do you have some place to plug in my electric knife?
You may walk your dog but you may not carry him.
Check your diaper pails at the door.
Effluvium…the forbidden fragrance…by Calvin Klein.
Wow, three strikes: I’m out and I didn’t even get past number one!
I’ll take Baleful Biology for $600, Alex.
They just confiscated my hand lotion, my shampoo, my bottle of bleach and my KY!
Are we entering the Pearl Tower or boarding a plane?
It does NOT put the lotion in the tower.
Yeah. We did have a visitor once. I just can’t remember when.
Does this include posters of Chairman Mao?
The pig my enter under his own volition only if he is not slovenly nor carrying the H1N1 virus.
Hah ! But they don’t specifically prohiibit hullabaloo !
I’m in. Sans effluvium.
Only 100 milliliters of cubage?! How am I supposed to make my sururkraut like that?
I think that cubage is top of cool shape in the world.
9. And don’t forget our princess is in another tower.
Mmmmmm…..bangers and match!
I’m a Popinjay. Can I come in?
I wanna go to the observation deck so people can observe me.
Effluvium? Is that a fancy way to say “connocting poopie”?
Well, thank God they don’t allow psychotics in!
Baleful biology — something created by Dr. Evil.
Sorry ma’am, you cant take your stove in here, it is an appliance, please put it in the pile outside.
Darn, what am I supposed to do with my tinder and exploders? Leave them at home?
Look out! That raggamuffin has a fruit knife, a blender, and 101 mL of liquid! We’re all going to die!
What’s that I smell in the air? Fresh-cut grass? Gasoline? No? Why, of course! It’s the peculiar smell of effluvium!!
Our guards have all taken Baleful Biology 101, and can spot a ragamuffin at 100 yards.
Dang, Honey – don’t even bother putting the exploder and the effluvium back in the car. They don’t allow any ragamuffins or psychotics anyway.
(referring to rule #4) Do not bring your dead cat or farting dog.
I’m a drunk, psychotic ragamuffin. Can I still come in?
Sword? Guess that means no entry for samurai either.
Daily Special at the Police Bakery inside the Tower:
10% off the Fried Ragamuffins with Blown Raspberries!
I love the smell of Effluvium in the morning. It smells like Victory…
i woke up today and said,”I am going to take my drunken psychotic ragamuffin ass to the tower today, with my sword in one hand and my dog in the other.” Guess I will have to find some place else to go.
I could translate that a lot more easily: No one gets in. Period.
Hey, this doesn’t say “Prohibit carrying the gun and artillery”, so I guess we can still bring guns with us.
“…the light of the peopie to keep and beal alms shall not be inflinged…”
Still no respect for the effluvium-toting-Ninja-ragamuffin.
damn , i guess i brought this sword and electric knife for no reason !
At least there’s one consolation in the rules for smokers like myself. Rule 2 clearly states that non-smokers must non-smoke at the non-appointed spot – Meaning that smoking is permitted everywhere else!
Now if only I can find a safe place to leave this Katana…
Prohibit the carry of Sword? Isn’t that blatant religious discrimination against Sikhs?
Jeez! Just say NO ENTRY!
Is this the Tower of London?
First I couldn’t get into the naughty palace because of my stupid disease. Now I can’t see the tower because I forgot I had effluvium in my purse? dang it!! I really wanted to see those epidemic areas!
Sorry, Mr. Invisible Ragamuffin, but the voices in my head just told me and my other personalities we aren’t welcome at this tower…
Epidemic area… must be where the stupid disease is going around.
I’m carrying contraband, but I’m not an interloper. Do I get away with it?
No Raggamuffin, but Reggaeton allowed.
I love the smell of effluvium in the morning. It smells like …Engrish.
wow, i just looked up effluvium, apparently its an invisible emanation or an offensive exhalation. I want some…
So if the substance that smells can be seen is it allowed, as long as it doesn’t disturb sanitation?
The Peculiar Smell of Effluvium… wasn’t that a Pink Floyd album from around 1978?
“Prohibit carrying the articles which can destroy and pollute inner enviroment of the Tower”
Leave your granade launcher at home.
Well, crap! I’m a ragamufffin psychotic carrying my metal appliances and my fruit knife and letting my effluvium out wherever I go, and I’ve got some baleful biology & banger in my purse too….and I have this streamer hanging from my shirt……
I guess I can’t go in.
So do they have a sobriety and sanity test before you can enter?
Ragamuffin, drunken dyslexic people of the world (with exploder) untie!
BTW: I have an idea of what the particular “smell of animal effluvium” is, but I can’t imagine ever warning someone about it on a sign. For a tower.
Also, “baleful biology” may have been the very thing that gave us Rush Limbaugh. The sign is wise to ask us to avoid it.
Oh damn, I really wanted to show my kitchen The Tower.
Hey Ragamuffin you better not carry your dog named Muffin or butter your muffin with a knife.
oooooooh… it’s no fun entering the tower without my effluvium!
Can you even HAVE fun in a tower without effluvium?
How would Pearl Tower security respond to a fart?
i’m sorry but my banger is attached to my body and I’m proud of it.
Ragamuffin… Dx! My mom used to call me that!
Wonder if bringing a jar of Pesto would give one entrance to The Tower?
I like how they clarify at the bottom that they will do their best to provide security. This is the high-quality security we need!! Right?
YOU RAGAMUFFIN!
They are so lucky I couldn’t find an outlet for my toaster, then they would see a ragamuffin
I think the Amish run this place
Look out! That raggamuffin has a fruit knife, a blender, and 101 mL of liquid! We’re all going to die!
Look out! That raggamuffin has a fruit knife, a blender, and 100.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 mL of liquid! We’re all going to die!
We’ll do our best to provide security, but if not, avoid blender-wielding, dog-carrying ragamuffins.
If he walks the dog instead of carrying it, it’s alright.
Prohibit banger.
No psychotics? Im not getting in there anytime soon!
Damn. How do I rescue the princess if I can’t bring in my explosives or swords?
Shaggy will be disappointed that the Pearl Tower prohibits ragamuffins from entering the building…
One does not simply walk into mordor!
Especially not with a contraband, police will beat you up!
sadly, everything on that sign applies to me but the “no smoking” part.