Put some pants on that wood…

posted on 11 Nov 2009 in Chinglish

Only you can prevent forest fire pregnancy…

Photo courtesy of Dickie Zebregs.
Sign found in China.

42 captions

  1. Algernon | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    We only accept fully dressed blazes here.

  2. Ralph. Hamilton | 4:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Cjinese fires are amongst the worlds best dressed.

  3. Ralph. Hamilton | 4:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Damn! – Chinese.

  4. DieselDragon | 4:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    So it’s not just the Smonkers who have to sit outside, then? :)

  5. DieselDragon | 4:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This is strictly a family establishment, and appropriate attire is mandatory. Naked fire may be permitted in the strip joint down the road, however. :)

  6. beechoak | 4:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t they have a cream for that?

  7. beechoak | 4:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If you’re hot, you’re hot!

  8. beechoak | 4:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    …and DEFINITELY no rubbing your “sticks” together!

  9. beechoak | 4:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    sign found in the back alley of the new gay bar “Dante’s Inferno”…

  10. Jay | 4:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    She’s the raw flame, the live wire
    She prays like a Roman with her eyes on fire.

  11. Pete | 5:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    (The Ohio Players’ “Fire” playing in the background, wafting across the park)

  12. Blaze | 5:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Seriously, Make Your Fire …… F***ing Lovely. (If you don’t go into adult engrish, you won’t get that)

  13. creampuff | 5:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Hunka Hunka Burning Love

  14. DieselDragon | 5:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Just as an aside: I’ve got the strong impression that someone’s trying to rig the caption vote system. 😮

    At this present moment, the first six consecutive captions all have a single “thumbs down” vote lodged against them – Which was obviously done by the one individual, as consistent “thumb down” votes on consecutive captions is not a natural voting pattern. :(

    EngrishWebmaster: Maybe it would be a good idea to keep the “thumbs up” option for captions, but get shot of the “thumbs down” one? :)

  15. Grifter | 5:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This is a Formal Flame occasion.

  16. beechoak | 6:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    ****DieselDragon. Thank you! I’m not the only one who has noticed this! Practically every day, somebody goes through and votes negative on everything regardless if the caption is a “stinker” or not. My voting practices, if I think it’s funny, I vote yes. If I don’t think it’s funny, I leave it alone. I only vote negative if I think the caption is in bad taste. Good observation. I get the feeling somebody just goes through and votes negative on everything just to be a smartass.

  17. Lora | 6:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    All right, fire. Hold still *YEOWCH!!* while I put *OWWW!!* these flame-proof *AAAARGH!!* pants on *OUUUCH!!* you…
    Okay now, the real problem here is if I go to the emergency room, I will have to explain HOW I got these burns on my hands.

  18. Ralph. Hamilton | 6:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    They also must be blind. I got two negative votes for my correction of the word “Chinese”. But who cares. While they are wasting their time on something so trivial, they are not annoying someone else with their stupidity.

  19. coffeebot | 6:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This explains why Flame only carried coins…

  20. Blaze | 7:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Beechoak and Diesel –

    That’s a glitch, guys. The fact that it always happens to the first six or however, almost every day, that’s a bug in the code. If you haven’t noticed, posts over a week old don’t usually retain votes at all, and the first six or so usually have their voting buttons disappear outright.

    It’s just a bug in the code. No need for drama.

  21. GoodGuy | 7:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Is that what kids are calling it nowadays?

  22. jjhitt | 8:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I am the God of Hellfire and I bring you…. trousers.

  23. Chris | 8:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    And pick up some asbestos condoms while you’re out

  24. Xila31 | 8:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    We’re trying to prevent flare ups.

  25. beechoak | 8:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I have a fire in my pants, and I need you to put out the flames!

  26. engrishwebmaster | 11:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @Beechoak, Diesel, Blaze & Ralph – No glitch in the system, just someone voting you down. I plan to implement a system that will automatically move the best rated captions to the top. I may or may not keep both thumbs up and down. Might take a while though.

  27. Jay | 11:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t worry about the thumbs, they’re gone in a week anyway. The only prize for winning is you get to read the credits out loud in a style of the webmaster’s choosing. :-)

  28. jjhitt | 11:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Downthumbing person: Bewares. Do not disturb here. Catch you. Burn you with naked fire.

  29. Ralph. Hamilton | 1:23 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    So burn, burn, wherever you may be
    For I am the God of the flames said he.

  30. Blaze | 2:10 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The Roof! The Roof! The Roof is on FI-YAH! We ain’t got no garments! We ain’t got no garments, let the mo-fo streak!

  31. Jetsuzu | 7:10 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    We picked the wrong hotel for a honeymoon….

  32. Jay | 7:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    But officer, Wang had to burn!

  33. rowger | 3:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Fire Elementals discrimination.

  34. pete | 3:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If naked fire isn’t considered hullabaloo, I don’t know what is!

  35. Dieseldragon | 4:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    …Because of Monkeys. :)

  36. kitsune | 12:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If you dress up a fire, won’t it just burn the cloths and be naked again?

  37. Robert | 2:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Bound by wild desire I fell into a ring of naked fire…

  38. Kevin | 8:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Self immolation is the next room over.

  39. Not American but Superior | 2:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I just wanted to point out that signs saying “no naked flames” are common in the UK, in woodlands and at petrol stations. A naked flame is, I’m told, a lighter or a gas burner or something similar as opposed to a flame inside an engine or some other contraption.
    So the mistake here is actually with the word “fire” and not “naked”.

  40. Dunnowhathuh | 4:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @ Not American but Superior, you are indeed correct so technically, this sign isn’t exactly farfetched at all. The phrase “naked flame” is vernacular in many countries.

  41. mubd | 7:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    In my country (Australia), naked flame is used quite often to describe an unprotected fire.

  42. Akiko | 4:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I don’t get why people find this funny, a “naked flame” is a fire that’s not protected by something like hurricane glass fixture, every time you light a lighter, or a match, you have a naked flame/fire. This site spends its time making a joke of things lost in translation, but they really failed with this one. :)

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