Have you tried the loofah?

posted on 23 Feb 2010 in Chinglish, Menus

Photo courtesy of “fdsao”.
Menu from Qingpu Hotel, China.

87 captions

  1. John Tranbo | 2:56 am |

    Real people, real cases. Fanny Law.

  2. Ani | 3:09 am |


  3. Jay | 3:14 am |

    Spicy Tofu! LOL

  4. MingTheMerciless | 3:42 am |

    I got kicked out of the mouth frog gang because I misrepresented.

  5. MingTheMerciless | 3:44 am |

    The shrimp come from the river, that is a given. The origin of the cucumber, on the other hand, remains a source of great speculation.

  6. Thuggy D | 4:10 am |

    Yes, the long speculationed loofah is arrived!

  7. jjhitt | 4:12 am |

    I’ll have the Turkey Lurkey Lo-Mein, please.

  8. jjhitt | 4:13 am |

    The river shrimp have driven up the price of cucumber futures.

  9. Algernon | 4:30 am |

    Great a loofah you can eat!

  10. jjhitt | 4:30 am |

    “Chowder” — tonight on Law and Oyster: Special Victims Unit

  11. Gappa Goshti | 4:49 am |

    What? No crap?
    And why so many hair in my order?

  12. Blaze | 5:10 am |

    Our lair tail is fermented AND distilled, so that you may not know what you’re eating, but at least you’ll be ROARING DRUNK while you eat it.

  13. Grifter | 6:00 am |

    “No, Chicken Little, that’s just the cooking pot lid…”

  14. DECMATH | 6:44 am |

    Who filed this under “Twice-cooked pork pie”?

  15. CoolTapes | 6:50 am |

    Coherently describing his dishes is not one of the chef’s specialties.

  16. Classic Steve | 6:56 am |

    If “law” = raw, then “fanny law” = a rump roast minus the roast. No thank you.

  17. Classic Steve | 6:59 am |

    Notice the space in “Chef ‘s”? I think he wanted to distance himself from these catastrophes.

  18. pamela38 | 7:05 am |

    well you cook with what you have, you know!

  19. Ralph Hamilton | 7:22 am |

    I’ll have the Salmonella Mornay with Bacterium, thank you.

  20. Ralph Hamilton | 7:26 am |

    Hmmm. How about the twice corked pook pie.

  21. A Noun | 8:39 am |

    A moment of fact: Loofah are indeed edible, if you get them when they’re small and tender. Kind of like zucchini. If you let them get big, they’re bath scrubbers.

  22. Juulie | 9:12 am |

    So many comments, so little time….

  23. Xila31 | 9:29 am |

    The shrimp board the tofu to better navigate the cucumber speculation river.

  24. Sam | 9:53 am |

    OMG! They killed Chicken Little! You Bastards!!!!

  25. Pete | 10:58 am |

    My wife gave me a Loofah. I don’t know whether to put it in the bathtub and scrub with it, or put it in a pan, fry it up, and eat it.

  26. Chuck | 11:06 am |

    A flagrant misrepresentation of the Chef ‘s offerings.

  27. Pete | 11:07 am |

    @Classic Steve – “Notice the space in “Chef ’s”? I think he wanted to distance himself from these catastrophes.”

    Or at least distance himself from the apostrophes!

  28. Chuck | 11:07 am |

    Then again, I don’t recall the last time I saw “fanny” and “tail” on the same menu.

  29. jamar | 11:22 am |

    To inject some not-so-funny- dear lord, they fail so hard on this one. “Chicken little” says “Kung Pao Chicken” in Chinese.

  30. JohnB | 2:14 pm |

    Clearly, the misrepresenting mouth actually belonged on one of the “law” dishes.

  31. Murilo Silva | 2:58 pm |

    Oh my God, they cooked Chicken Little!! Them bastards!

  32. coffeebot | 2:58 pm |

    Frogs everywhere are conflicted… being misrepresented.

    But also, being eaten.

  33. jjhitt | 3:05 pm |

    Fragant and Hot sounds so much better than Steamin’ and Stinkin’

  34. Johnny_S | 3:25 pm |

    Fanny Law, the head of millet and co, arrives in court. “Damn it! I forgot my Fragant and Hot misrepresent Mouth Frogs brief, and brought the Pork Pie Folder instead”

  35. Satellite Heart | 4:39 pm |

    Have that twice cooked pork pie folder on my desk first thing in the morning.

  36. Lora | 5:26 pm |

    Twice-cooked pork pie? It looks more like twice-eaten pork-pie!

  37. Adelaide | 7:26 pm |

    This is what will happen to you when you keep saying “The Sky is Falling!”

  38. Shrimps board tofu; the lobsters have to rent their own place.

  39. Lunar | 10:59 pm |

    I love all my folders cooked twice and served with fragrant and hot misrepresent mouth frogs. mmmm mmm good!

  40. Chris | 12:44 am |

    The loofah is falling! The loofah is falling!

  41. lydia | 5:20 am |

    Lydia good good study.

  42. RHCP | 7:36 am |

    The Usual Speculation Loofah was a great movie… You know where Kevin Spacey misrepresented Keyzer Soze…

  43. Bear or bust | 10:12 am |

    Fanny Law, could that be meat and two vag by any chance?

    Brit slang you gotta love it.

  44. Koelet | 5:21 am |

    That mouth frog is definitely misrepresented – its a mouth toad!

  45. tekleader | 6:15 am |

    Was your lobster coming on to me?

  46. coffeebot | 9:43 am |

    I think the Chinese Chef did it, in the Year of the Tiger, with the Speculation Loofah…

  47. SaveTheBumpf | 12:44 pm |

    Fanny Law, the Mullet head!

  48. Ani | 8:57 am |

    Aha, so the battle shrimp ride on tofu boats?

  49. orapshi | 9:50 pm |

    One Henny Penny to go, please!

  50. Ambrioz | 2:28 pm |

    I’m not sure about this… Last time I had speculated loofahs the markets crashed.

  51. billy bob | 12:04 pm |

    Long befoer it was a bath accessory the imature fruit of the Loofa was a staple of asian cuisine. So now make great foolish laughter at your own caption!

  52. Ronchad | 7:45 am |

    Oh no! Run Chicken Little Run!!!!!!!!!!

  53. garudamon11 | 11:32 am |

    if you kiss the misrepresent mouth frog it will turn into frying prince

  54. chieromancer | 8:53 pm |

    Per http://www.Luffa.info:

    “The luffa flowers and fruits are soft and edible when young and are sometimes cooked and eaten like squash or okra. Loofah has been an important food source in many Asian cultures.”

    “Luffa is consumed by many people around the world, especially in Asia and Africa. Edible luffa can be found sometimes in markets with Asian style vegetables. We like them sliced in a stir fry or just sauteed in a little olive oil. Seasoning with a dash of soy sauce and cayenne pepper makes a tasty appetizer. The flowers have a crunchy green flavor similar to celery or cucumber. They make a colorful salad. The edible size fruits taste something like a cross between a zucchini and a cucumber.”

    I hope you’re all taking notes. There will be a test latter.

  55. phoenixx | 11:29 am |

    have a small chicken, some millet the use the loofah to cleanse it all out..and while you are loofahing read all about pork in the pork folder

  56. Bill O'Reilly | 12:02 am |

    This is my favorite Chinese restaurant to bring female employees!

  57. Elle | 11:28 am |

    Fanny Law – the head of millet? I did not know she got elected.

  58. Cecily | 12:49 pm |

    Fanny Law sued the mouth frogs for misrepresentation.

  59. Ptharien's Flame | 3:02 pm |

    I didn’t know rice had eggs!

  60. Josh | 10:12 am |

    I’m sorry, I’m sorry. There’s just waaaay too much on this one to even start. I give up.

  61. Damien | 11:31 pm |

    Refugee shrimps board tofu, but bean captured by Curds.

  62. don | 8:10 am |

    uhmm.. id like to order some twice-cooked pork pie folder with some A4 size paper in it, and some fragrant panda droppings..

  63. Pedro | 12:31 am |

    From the producers of the Conspiracy Theory, we bring you the Cucumber Speculation. In theaters now.

  64. mickeygreeneyes | 7:54 pm |

    Man, I am going to make some money on these cucumbers!

  65. Camilo | 2:04 pm |

    Just the usual, speculating loofah.

  66. FatKenney | 5:29 pm |

    KIDS, KIDS, come look! The rice eggs are hatching! The rice eggs are hatching!

  67. Emmy | 12:31 am |

    one man’s food is another man’s pet

  68. kloo | 1:30 am |

    If your mouth frog cannot afford representation then that’s just too bad.

  69. David | 11:17 pm |

    Lots of speculation going on here.

  70. Ryan | 6:50 pm |

    I always wondered if chicken little would taste good…

  71. ybabe | 8:17 am |

    Fanny Law used to be the Head of Millet, but it’s been speculated that she misrepresented the mouth frogs and was demoted to juicing oysters.

  72. ybabe | 8:50 am |

    Fanny Law’s not the Head of Millet any more. She’s been demoted to juicing oysters.

  73. shirley cool | 5:30 am |

    i think this restaurante deserves an award, and a standing ovation.

  74. Clair | 6:46 pm |

    poor chicken little!!!

  75. Doff | 7:03 am |

    Next they’ll have Stewart Little on there.

  76. Arciam | 3:58 pm |

    Chicken Little o_o

  77. MBH | 1:55 pm |

    So THAT’S what happened to Chicken Little….

  78. Brian | 9:45 am |

    I demand a refund! These frogs are CLEARLY not mouth frogs… these are butt frogs! You misrepresented them.

  79. Brian | 9:50 am |

    Spoiler alert! Kevin Spacey IS Kaiser Soze in “The Usual Speculations”.

  80. Long Tom | 9:31 pm |

    Foxy Loxy’s favorite restaurant!

  81. Gerson | 3:13 am |

    May I just have a slice of the cut bread with the pork of the skinny slice with the yellow rotten slice of top with another bread of slice?

    Yes, with a glass of the tit-juice of animal of moo…

    Never mind… *leaves*

  82. Tom | 11:05 am |

    I have a theory about Chicken Little, with the loofah, in the offices of Fanny and Assoc. – but it’s only speculation.

  83. Anan | 6:31 am |

    It all makes perfectly sense to me…except that thing called ‘rice’

  84. pete | 3:21 am |

    …from the creators of Stuart Little…
    …Chicken Little 2….
    …Comming soon – 21.12.2012…

  85. noneofyourbusiness | 11:24 am |

    I’ve noticed that they chaged the price of ‘fragrant and hot misrepresent mouth frogs’. must not be a popular dish then.

  86. Davey8 | 12:23 pm |

    That “twice cooked pork pie folder” borders on *Adult* Engrish…!

  87. Someone | 4:46 am |

    That’s what happens using google-translate…. (I told you)

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