Have you tried the loofah?

posted on 23 Feb 2010 in Chinglish, Menus

Photo courtesy of “fdsao”.
Menu from Qingpu Hotel, China.

87 captions

  1. John Tranbo | 2:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Real people, real cases. Fanny Law.

  2. Ani | 3:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    THE SKY IS FALLING, THE SKY IS FALLING!!!!

  3. Jay | 3:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Spicy Tofu! LOL

  4. MingTheMerciless | 3:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I got kicked out of the mouth frog gang because I misrepresented.

  5. MingTheMerciless | 3:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The shrimp come from the river, that is a given. The origin of the cucumber, on the other hand, remains a source of great speculation.

  6. Thuggy D | 4:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Yes, the long speculationed loofah is arrived!

  7. jjhitt | 4:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll have the Turkey Lurkey Lo-Mein, please.

  8. jjhitt | 4:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The river shrimp have driven up the price of cucumber futures.

  9. Algernon | 4:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Great a loofah you can eat!

  10. jjhitt | 4:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    “Chowder” — tonight on Law and Oyster: Special Victims Unit

  11. Gappa Goshti | 4:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    What? No crap?
    And why so many hair in my order?

  12. Blaze | 5:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Our lair tail is fermented AND distilled, so that you may not know what you’re eating, but at least you’ll be ROARING DRUNK while you eat it.

  13. Grifter | 6:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “THE SKY IS FALLING!”
    “No, Chicken Little, that’s just the cooking pot lid…”

  14. DECMATH | 6:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Who filed this under “Twice-cooked pork pie”?

  15. CoolTapes | 6:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Coherently describing his dishes is not one of the chef’s specialties.

  16. Classic Steve | 6:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    If “law” = raw, then “fanny law” = a rump roast minus the roast. No thank you.

  17. Classic Steve | 6:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Notice the space in “Chef ‘s”? I think he wanted to distance himself from these catastrophes.

  18. pamela38 | 7:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    well you cook with what you have, you know!

  19. Ralph Hamilton | 7:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll have the Salmonella Mornay with Bacterium, thank you.

  20. Ralph Hamilton | 7:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Hmmm. How about the twice corked pook pie.

  21. A Noun | 8:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    A moment of fact: Loofah are indeed edible, if you get them when they’re small and tender. Kind of like zucchini. If you let them get big, they’re bath scrubbers.

  22. Juulie | 9:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    So many comments, so little time….

  23. Xila31 | 9:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    The shrimp board the tofu to better navigate the cucumber speculation river.

  24. Sam | 9:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    OMG! They killed Chicken Little! You Bastards!!!!

  25. Pete | 10:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    My wife gave me a Loofah. I don’t know whether to put it in the bathtub and scrub with it, or put it in a pan, fry it up, and eat it.

  26. Chuck | 11:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    A flagrant misrepresentation of the Chef ‘s offerings.

  27. Pete | 11:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    @Classic Steve – “Notice the space in “Chef ’s”? I think he wanted to distance himself from these catastrophes.”

    Or at least distance himself from the apostrophes!

  28. Chuck | 11:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Then again, I don’t recall the last time I saw “fanny” and “tail” on the same menu.

  29. jamar | 11:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    To inject some not-so-funny- dear lord, they fail so hard on this one. “Chicken little” says “Kung Pao Chicken” in Chinese.

  30. JohnB | 2:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Clearly, the misrepresenting mouth actually belonged on one of the “law” dishes.

  31. Murilo Silva | 2:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh my God, they cooked Chicken Little!! Them bastards!

  32. coffeebot | 2:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Frogs everywhere are conflicted… being misrepresented.

    But also, being eaten.

  33. jjhitt | 3:05 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Fragant and Hot sounds so much better than Steamin’ and Stinkin’

  34. Johnny_S | 3:25 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Fanny Law, the head of millet and co, arrives in court. “Damn it! I forgot my Fragant and Hot misrepresent Mouth Frogs brief, and brought the Pork Pie Folder instead”

  35. Satellite Heart | 4:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Have that twice cooked pork pie folder on my desk first thing in the morning.

  36. Lora | 5:26 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Twice-cooked pork pie? It looks more like twice-eaten pork-pie!

  37. Adelaide | 7:26 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This is what will happen to you when you keep saying “The Sky is Falling!”

  38. Wile E. Coyote Super Genius | 10:02 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Shrimps board tofu; the lobsters have to rent their own place.

  39. Lunar | 10:59 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I love all my folders cooked twice and served with fragrant and hot misrepresent mouth frogs. mmmm mmm good!

  40. Chris | 12:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The loofah is falling! The loofah is falling!

  41. lydia | 5:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Lydia good good study.

  42. RHCP | 7:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    The Usual Speculation Loofah was a great movie… You know where Kevin Spacey misrepresented Keyzer Soze…

  43. Bear or bust | 10:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Fanny Law, could that be meat and two vag by any chance?

    Brit slang you gotta love it.

  44. Koelet | 5:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    That mouth frog is definitely misrepresented – its a mouth toad!

  45. tekleader | 6:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Was your lobster coming on to me?

  46. coffeebot | 9:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I think the Chinese Chef did it, in the Year of the Tiger, with the Speculation Loofah…

  47. SaveTheBumpf | 12:44 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Fanny Law, the Mullet head!

  48. Ani | 8:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Aha, so the battle shrimp ride on tofu boats?

  49. orapshi | 9:50 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    One Henny Penny to go, please!

  50. Ambrioz | 2:28 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I’m not sure about this… Last time I had speculated loofahs the markets crashed.

  51. billy bob | 12:04 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Long befoer it was a bath accessory the imature fruit of the Loofa was a staple of asian cuisine. So now make great foolish laughter at your own caption!

  52. Ronchad | 7:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh no! Run Chicken Little Run!!!!!!!!!!

  53. garudamon11 | 11:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    if you kiss the misrepresent mouth frog it will turn into frying prince

  54. chieromancer | 8:53 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Per http://www.Luffa.info:

    “The luffa flowers and fruits are soft and edible when young and are sometimes cooked and eaten like squash or okra. Loofah has been an important food source in many Asian cultures.”

    “Luffa is consumed by many people around the world, especially in Asia and Africa. Edible luffa can be found sometimes in markets with Asian style vegetables. We like them sliced in a stir fry or just sauteed in a little olive oil. Seasoning with a dash of soy sauce and cayenne pepper makes a tasty appetizer. The flowers have a crunchy green flavor similar to celery or cucumber. They make a colorful salad. The edible size fruits taste something like a cross between a zucchini and a cucumber.”

    I hope you’re all taking notes. There will be a test latter.

  55. phoenixx | 11:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    have a small chicken, some millet the use the loofah to cleanse it all out..and while you are loofahing read all about pork in the pork folder

  56. Bill O'Reilly | 12:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This is my favorite Chinese restaurant to bring female employees!

  57. Elle | 11:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Fanny Law – the head of millet? I did not know she got elected.

  58. Cecily | 12:49 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Fanny Law sued the mouth frogs for misrepresentation.

  59. Ptharien's Flame | 3:02 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I didn’t know rice had eggs!

  60. Josh | 10:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I’m sorry, I’m sorry. There’s just waaaay too much on this one to even start. I give up.

  61. Damien | 11:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Refugee shrimps board tofu, but bean captured by Curds.

  62. don | 8:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    uhmm.. id like to order some twice-cooked pork pie folder with some A4 size paper in it, and some fragrant panda droppings..

  63. Pedro | 12:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    From the producers of the Conspiracy Theory, we bring you the Cucumber Speculation. In theaters now.

  64. mickeygreeneyes | 7:54 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Man, I am going to make some money on these cucumbers!

  65. Camilo | 2:04 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Just the usual, speculating loofah.

  66. FatKenney | 5:29 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    KIDS, KIDS, come look! The rice eggs are hatching! The rice eggs are hatching!

  67. Emmy | 12:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    one man’s food is another man’s pet

  68. kloo | 1:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If your mouth frog cannot afford representation then that’s just too bad.

  69. David | 11:17 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Lots of speculation going on here.

  70. Ryan | 6:50 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I always wondered if chicken little would taste good…

  71. ybabe | 8:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Fanny Law used to be the Head of Millet, but it’s been speculated that she misrepresented the mouth frogs and was demoted to juicing oysters.

  72. ybabe | 8:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Fanny Law’s not the Head of Millet any more. She’s been demoted to juicing oysters.

  73. shirley cool | 5:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    i think this restaurante deserves an award, and a standing ovation.

  74. Clair | 6:46 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    poor chicken little!!!

  75. Doff | 7:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Next they’ll have Stewart Little on there.

  76. Arciam | 3:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Chicken Little o_o

  77. MBH | 1:55 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    So THAT’S what happened to Chicken Little….

  78. Brian | 9:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I demand a refund! These frogs are CLEARLY not mouth frogs… these are butt frogs! You misrepresented them.

  79. Brian | 9:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Spoiler alert! Kevin Spacey IS Kaiser Soze in “The Usual Speculations”.

  80. Long Tom | 9:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Foxy Loxy’s favorite restaurant!

  81. Gerson | 3:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    May I just have a slice of the cut bread with the pork of the skinny slice with the yellow rotten slice of top with another bread of slice?

    Yes, with a glass of the tit-juice of animal of moo…

    Never mind… *leaves*

  82. Tom | 11:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I have a theory about Chicken Little, with the loofah, in the offices of Fanny and Assoc. – but it’s only speculation.

  83. Anan | 6:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    It all makes perfectly sense to me…except that thing called ‘rice’

  84. pete | 3:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    …from the creators of Stuart Little…
    …Chicken Little 2….
    …Comming soon – 21.12.2012…

  85. noneofyourbusiness | 11:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ve noticed that they chaged the price of ‘fragrant and hot misrepresent mouth frogs’. must not be a popular dish then.

  86. Davey8 | 12:23 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    That “twice cooked pork pie folder” borders on *Adult* Engrish…!

  87. Someone | 4:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    That’s what happens using google-translate…. (I told you)

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