Blonde model apropos?

posted on 21 Sep 2010 in Chinglish, Household Items

Four Big Merits (as written in lower right):
Artistic Reliable Is Practical
The All Steelfoot Rest Spurts Models
Four Altitude Mixture Controls
Entire Cotton and Kapow (?) Cotton Print

Photo courtesy of Mirian Lima.
Ironing board found in Kazakhstan; made in China.

75 captions

  1. Algernon | 3:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 21  Subtract rating 0  

    Just the thing for those tropical days in Kazakstan, burning clothes with extra kapow cotton by the beach.

  2. DrZos | 3:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Even though this is a seriously confused advertisement, at least the product title is honest…

  3. Eduard | 3:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “Wan” woman, four merits: Happiness guaranteed!

  4. DrZos | 3:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    5th big merit: An extra-long extension cord suitable for ironing at the beach in ankle-deep tropical waters is included free of charge! (swimsuit not included)

  5. Eduard | 3:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Blondes with hazardous behavior….
    Fire extinguisher not included.

  6. DrZos | 3:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    In Kazakhstran an ironing board is considered furniture (see small print top/bottom)… in this case beach furniture.

  7. Eduard | 3:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    If you stare long enough, you might see some palm trees in the background.
    (oldie, but goldie……)

  8. jjhitt | 3:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    I see Two Big Merits? Are they natura?

  9. Eduard | 3:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    @jjhitt: we must think alike…..
    Not too big though.
    How about the other two on the other side?

  10. DrZos | 3:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Aahhh, those carefree chores by the Caspian are the next hot thing!

  11. DrZos | 3:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    @jjhitt: Not sure they are natura. But sure they are happiness.

  12. jjhitt | 3:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 2  

    Point 1: She casts no shadow.
    Point 2: Who cares?

  13. Eduard | 3:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    So I guess the swimming suit is fireproof then…..

  14. Salome | 3:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    But natura doesn’t need ironing–not at her age, anyway.

  15. Eduard | 3:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Yup, nothing more relaxing than blowing off steam at the beach…..

  16. jjhitt | 3:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    ♫ Here comes old Steelfoot, he comes spurting up slowly.
    He got four big merits, He got water up to his knees.
    Got to burn the clothes cause you got to be free. ♫

  17. SF | 3:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Q: Why are you in bikini?
    A: Nothing left to wear. I’ve burnt all my clothes.

  18. faulty wiring | 3:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Ok honey, we’re off to Bermuda. Let’s make sure we’ve got all we need. Passports? Swimmers? Travellers cheques? Ironing board? Sun, surf and sand, here we come…with neatly pressed clothes

  19. DrLex | 4:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Captain, we must adjust the four altitude mixture controls or the ship will go kapow!

  20. phoenixx | 4:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    is she ironing her undergarments on a surf board?? i can hear the blonde jokes now

  21. Chicken Underwear | 4:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I thought this was just another blond joke

  22. Sam | 4:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Perhaps it converts into a surf board. That would certainly explain a lot.

  23. mickeygreeneyes | 4:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Are you sure Borat didn’t send this in?

  24. mickeygreeneyes | 4:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “Cotton and kapow!” At last we’ve found a way to recycle the old
    “Batman” sound effects!

  25. FatKenney | 5:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Nothing out of the ordinary here, just a scantily clad blonde woman ironing her clothes on the surface of the water at the beach of a tropical island paradise.

  26. FatKenney | 5:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Sturdy lightweight construction. So lightweight in fact the all steelfoot rests don’t even break the surface tension of the water.

  27. Terri | 5:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    >> She casts no shadow. <<

    Forget the shadow, She has magical legs! Her feet are on opposite sides of the ironing board yet both legs are behind it. Bet she'd be interesting in bed.

    Then we can look at the shadows. She has none. The top of the board is lit from nearly straight on. The legs on the right are lit from the right. The legs on the left are lit from the left, but in a very special way so that one leg creates two shadows and the other has none.

  28. DrZos | 6:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Borat endorsed!!!

  29. mickeygreeneyes | 7:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    To drzos: welcome fellow borat fan

  30. mickeygreeneyes | 7:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Burn those clothes! Burn ‘em. Burn ‘em GOOD!

  31. jnmcnally | 7:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I spurts model too. I also like that it is “Chinese High-Quality Furniture” (as noted on the top of the package) – words I never thought I would see in the same sentence.

  32. jjhitt | 7:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @Terri: Looking at the legs (all of them her’s, it’s) make brain hurt.

  33. A Non-Y Mouse | 7:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    That’s what happens when a trophy wife tries to be useful.

  34. Xila31 | 8:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Put a little extra bang in your ironing with Kapow Cotton! (Warning: fabric may explode when heated.)

  35. emily | 8:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I don’t need a board. I simply hang up my clothes and SCALD them with a steam iron. No risk of burning…….

  36. Ralph Hamilton | 9:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Clothes burning board? Ah! That explains something.

  37. Ralph Hamilton | 9:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Did you hear about the blonde who thought that “sex appeal” was a charity for disabled prostitutes?

  38. kshea | 11:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    so an ironing board is considered furniture?

  39. Ralph Hamilton | 11:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Beware of electrically unsafe blondes who cast no shadow.

  40. demondude777 | 11:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Good news: if it doesn’t do what it says, you aren’t losing anything!

  41. Ralph Hamilton | 12:51 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    What else can you do with an ironing board? All the ones I have seen, are far to ricketty to have sex on.

  42. Wolle | 1:10 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    At least it didn’t say “Burns the clothes broad”.

  43. Lisa | 1:56 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This… is… Engrish!!!!

  44. Chuck | 4:08 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    NonGrad Series ??

    Kapow is probably Kapok. Just not as much fun.

  45. Bob* | 4:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Burn, Baby, Burn!!!

  46. d17nk | 5:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    one convenience of ironing clothes at the beach is that you can take it off right there and iron it.

  47. Jeff | 6:25 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Ohhhh… that steelfoot rest is such a daredevil… it likes spurting in models just as I do…

  48. borat | 6:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’m Borat and I approved this message.

  49. Conventi | 11:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Another case for Photoshop Disasters.

  50. Lollerskate | 12:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    That model is Jesus!

  51. StychoKiller | 3:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Finally a Burn the Clothes board with Four Altitude Mixture Controls! Because three isn’t enough and five is way too many!

  52. tekleader | 6:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    After I’m done with the laundry I’m gonna catch some gnarly waves, dude!

  53. Ich | 7:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Kapow! I got a hole in my shirt! At least it provides some ventilation. It was all natura.

  54. phoenixx | 1:23 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    but but but i want the tall dark handsome male model *cries*

  55. Lollerskate | 4:44 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    What’s with the thumbs down!?!? No shadow, feet on the water surface and no electric discharges? What is it then, a Sasquatch? You’ve got to be kidding!

  56. kyle vincent | 10:33 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    yup she can burn my clothes board alright. Whew!

  57. coffeebot | 12:27 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Beauty School Dropout finds new job…

  58. garudamon11 | 12:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    It puts the rotion on its skin

  59. Ripplin | 8:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Do you come with the [ironing board]?”
    “Oh you!” *giggle*

    “Do you come with the [ironing board]?”
    “Oh you!” *giggle*

  60. Kitsune | 9:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I didn’t realize Mail Order Brides were subject to American Truth in Advertising laws…

  61. Vellyr | 6:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    It just spurts models everywhere! There’s only one now, but pretty soon they’ll be all over the place!

  62. Jody | 1:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Dammit, I knew I shouldn’t have got her to iron my clothes…

  63. Herman | 11:53 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    rofl! That’s what I love Engrish so much and the ad is honest and what? Kapow? They must had gone to some altitude to make such ad. I like it.

  64. Mar Ita Voj | 10:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    so that explains the sexy girl – the all steelfoot rest spurts models.

  65. Eoin | 1:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Dear Bazhoucity Yang Fen Gang Jinxin Hardware Furniture Factory,

    I saw your ad for ironing boards. I don’t need an ironing board, all my clothes are permanent press, so just ship me the blonde that’s behind it.

    P.S.If she’s available. Otherwise I’ll settle for your secretary who must be positively breathless from saying “Good morning, Bazhoucity Yang Fen Gang Jinxin Hardware Furniture Factory! How may I direct your call?” 257 times a day.

  66. John | 7:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Yes burn the clothes board and I take the model with me for photo shoots.

  67. man | 1:10 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    lol look at the company name at the bottom and say i wanted to write a check…

  68. Kwan | 6:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Exclusive for arsonists

  69. Pansy | 4:28 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Wait kapow do I use this again?

  70. Gerson | 1:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Perfect for use at the beach.

  71. BigHeadSarge | 7:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Perfect for burning kapow at all altitudes! (This was obviously at sea level)

  72. Troika | 10:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Kapok. It’s kapok!

  73. fredly frenson | 11:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Jeff Probst: “For today’s challenge, You will burn your clothes…If the Red team wins. they will enter Wan’s home!”

    Please remember that Happiness is always Natura-L!

    Here are the rules:
    1. Artistic Reliable Is Practical
    2. The All Steelfoot Rest Spurts Models (must complete!)
    3. Four Altitude Mixture Controls (also a must)
    and finally
    4. Entire Cotton and Kapow (?) Cotton Print (yes…a must, too!)

    Good luck Survivors!

  74. Huggzie | 5:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    My shirt is 90% Kapow Cotton, so be careful when setting it on fire!

  75. Torbjorn Wallin | 5:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    In the fine print it say that models spurted by the Product may vary from the model on the Picture, up to and including the lack of models spurted if the models are out of stock.

    The Company further take no responsibility for any injury caused by aforementioned models on clothes, consumers or the consumers houses.

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