Blonde model apropos?

posted on 21 Sep 2010 in Chinglish, Household Items

Four Big Merits (as written in lower right):
Artistic Reliable Is Practical
The All Steelfoot Rest Spurts Models
Four Altitude Mixture Controls
Entire Cotton and Kapow (?) Cotton Print

Photo courtesy of Mirian Lima.
Ironing board found in Kazakhstan; made in China.

75 captions

  1. Algernon | 3:03 am |

    Just the thing for those tropical days in Kazakstan, burning clothes with extra kapow cotton by the beach.

  2. DrZos | 3:08 am |

    Even though this is a seriously confused advertisement, at least the product title is honest…

  3. Eduard | 3:10 am |

    “Wan” woman, four merits: Happiness guaranteed!

  4. DrZos | 3:11 am |

    5th big merit: An extra-long extension cord suitable for ironing at the beach in ankle-deep tropical waters is included free of charge! (swimsuit not included)

  5. Eduard | 3:12 am |

    Blondes with hazardous behavior….
    Fire extinguisher not included.

  6. DrZos | 3:14 am |

    In Kazakhstran an ironing board is considered furniture (see small print top/bottom)… in this case beach furniture.

  7. Eduard | 3:14 am |

    If you stare long enough, you might see some palm trees in the background.
    (oldie, but goldie……)

  8. jjhitt | 3:14 am |

    I see Two Big Merits? Are they natura?

  9. Eduard | 3:16 am |

    @jjhitt: we must think alike…..
    Not too big though.
    How about the other two on the other side?

  10. DrZos | 3:17 am |

    Aahhh, those carefree chores by the Caspian are the next hot thing!

  11. DrZos | 3:19 am |

    @jjhitt: Not sure they are natura. But sure they are happiness.

  12. jjhitt | 3:19 am |

    Point 1: She casts no shadow.
    Point 2: Who cares?

  13. Eduard | 3:21 am |

    So I guess the swimming suit is fireproof then…..

  14. Salome | 3:22 am |

    But natura doesn’t need ironing–not at her age, anyway.

  15. Eduard | 3:23 am |

    Yup, nothing more relaxing than blowing off steam at the beach…..

  16. jjhitt | 3:34 am |

    ♫ Here comes old Steelfoot, he comes spurting up slowly.
    He got four big merits, He got water up to his knees.
    Got to burn the clothes cause you got to be free. ♫

  17. SF | 3:41 am |

    Q: Why are you in bikini?
    A: Nothing left to wear. I’ve burnt all my clothes.

  18. faulty wiring | 3:50 am |

    Ok honey, we’re off to Bermuda. Let’s make sure we’ve got all we need. Passports? Swimmers? Travellers cheques? Ironing board? Sun, surf and sand, here we come…with neatly pressed clothes

  19. DrLex | 4:03 am |

    Captain, we must adjust the four altitude mixture controls or the ship will go kapow!

  20. phoenixx | 4:21 am |

    is she ironing her undergarments on a surf board?? i can hear the blonde jokes now

  21. Chicken Underwear | 4:43 am |

    I thought this was just another blond joke

  22. Sam | 4:47 am |

    Perhaps it converts into a surf board. That would certainly explain a lot.

  23. mickeygreeneyes | 4:50 am |

    Are you sure Borat didn’t send this in?

  24. mickeygreeneyes | 4:52 am |

    “Cotton and kapow!” At last we’ve found a way to recycle the old
    “Batman” sound effects!

  25. FatKenney | 5:01 am |

    Nothing out of the ordinary here, just a scantily clad blonde woman ironing her clothes on the surface of the water at the beach of a tropical island paradise.

  26. FatKenney | 5:03 am |

    Sturdy lightweight construction. So lightweight in fact the all steelfoot rests don’t even break the surface tension of the water.

  27. Terri | 5:46 am |

    >> She casts no shadow. <<

    Forget the shadow, She has magical legs! Her feet are on opposite sides of the ironing board yet both legs are behind it. Bet she'd be interesting in bed.

    Then we can look at the shadows. She has none. The top of the board is lit from nearly straight on. The legs on the right are lit from the right. The legs on the left are lit from the left, but in a very special way so that one leg creates two shadows and the other has none.

  28. DrZos | 6:39 am |

    Borat endorsed!!!

  29. mickeygreeneyes | 7:04 am |

    To drzos: welcome fellow borat fan

  30. mickeygreeneyes | 7:06 am |

    Burn those clothes! Burn ’em. Burn ’em GOOD!

  31. jnmcnally | 7:32 am |

    I spurts model too. I also like that it is “Chinese High-Quality Furniture” (as noted on the top of the package) – words I never thought I would see in the same sentence.

  32. jjhitt | 7:37 am |

    @Terri: Looking at the legs (all of them her’s, it’s) make brain hurt.

  33. A Non-Y Mouse | 7:39 am |

    That’s what happens when a trophy wife tries to be useful.

  34. Xila31 | 8:01 am |

    Put a little extra bang in your ironing with Kapow Cotton! (Warning: fabric may explode when heated.)

  35. emily | 8:02 am |

    I don’t need a board. I simply hang up my clothes and SCALD them with a steam iron. No risk of burning…….

  36. Ralph Hamilton | 9:15 am |

    Clothes burning board? Ah! That explains something.

  37. Ralph Hamilton | 9:18 am |

    Did you hear about the blonde who thought that “sex appeal” was a charity for disabled prostitutes?

  38. kshea | 11:15 am |

    so an ironing board is considered furniture?

  39. Ralph Hamilton | 11:40 am |

    Beware of electrically unsafe blondes who cast no shadow.

  40. demondude777 | 11:49 am |

    Good news: if it doesn’t do what it says, you aren’t losing anything!

  41. Ralph Hamilton | 12:51 pm |

    What else can you do with an ironing board? All the ones I have seen, are far to ricketty to have sex on.

  42. Wolle | 1:10 pm |

    At least it didn’t say “Burns the clothes broad”.

  43. Lisa | 1:56 pm |

    This… is… Engrish!!!!

  44. Chuck | 4:08 pm |

    NonGrad Series ??

    Kapow is probably Kapok. Just not as much fun.

  45. Bob* | 4:30 pm |

    Burn, Baby, Burn!!!

  46. d17nk | 5:31 pm |

    one convenience of ironing clothes at the beach is that you can take it off right there and iron it.

  47. Jeff | 6:25 pm |

    Ohhhh… that steelfoot rest is such a daredevil… it likes spurting in models just as I do…

  48. borat | 6:39 pm |

    I’m Borat and I approved this message.

  49. Conventi | 11:47 pm |

    Another case for Photoshop Disasters.

  50. Lollerskate | 12:25 am |

    That model is Jesus!

  51. StychoKiller | 3:01 am |

    Finally a Burn the Clothes board with Four Altitude Mixture Controls! Because three isn’t enough and five is way too many!

  52. tekleader | 6:20 am |

    After I’m done with the laundry I’m gonna catch some gnarly waves, dude!

  53. Ich | 7:18 am |

    Kapow! I got a hole in my shirt! At least it provides some ventilation. It was all natura.

  54. phoenixx | 1:23 pm |

    but but but i want the tall dark handsome male model *cries*

  55. Lollerskate | 4:44 pm |

    What’s with the thumbs down!?!? No shadow, feet on the water surface and no electric discharges? What is it then, a Sasquatch? You’ve got to be kidding!

  56. kyle vincent | 10:33 pm |

    yup she can burn my clothes board alright. Whew!

  57. coffeebot | 12:27 pm |

    Beauty School Dropout finds new job…

  58. garudamon11 | 12:36 pm |

    It puts the rotion on its skin

  59. Ripplin | 8:14 pm |

    “Do you come with the [ironing board]?”
    “Oh you!” *giggle*

    “Do you come with the [ironing board]?”
    “Oh you!” *giggle*

  60. Kitsune | 9:35 am |

    I didn’t realize Mail Order Brides were subject to American Truth in Advertising laws…

  61. Vellyr | 6:20 pm |

    It just spurts models everywhere! There’s only one now, but pretty soon they’ll be all over the place!

  62. Jody | 1:10 am |

    Dammit, I knew I shouldn’t have got her to iron my clothes…

  63. Herman | 11:53 pm |

    rofl! That’s what I love Engrish so much and the ad is honest and what? Kapow? They must had gone to some altitude to make such ad. I like it.

  64. Mar Ita Voj | 10:31 pm |

    so that explains the sexy girl – the all steelfoot rest spurts models.

  65. Eoin | 1:08 am |

    Dear Bazhoucity Yang Fen Gang Jinxin Hardware Furniture Factory,

    I saw your ad for ironing boards. I don’t need an ironing board, all my clothes are permanent press, so just ship me the blonde that’s behind it.

    P.S.If she’s available. Otherwise I’ll settle for your secretary who must be positively breathless from saying “Good morning, Bazhoucity Yang Fen Gang Jinxin Hardware Furniture Factory! How may I direct your call?” 257 times a day.

  66. John | 7:44 am |

    Yes burn the clothes board and I take the model with me for photo shoots.

  67. man | 1:10 pm |

    lol look at the company name at the bottom and say i wanted to write a check…

  68. Kwan | 6:51 am |

    Exclusive for arsonists

  69. Pansy | 4:28 pm |

    Wait kapow do I use this again?

  70. Gerson | 1:56 am |

    Perfect for use at the beach.

  71. BigHeadSarge | 7:30 pm |

    Perfect for burning kapow at all altitudes! (This was obviously at sea level)

  72. Troika | 10:30 pm |

    Kapok. It’s kapok!

  73. fredly frenson | 11:34 am |

    Jeff Probst: “For today’s challenge, You will burn your clothes…If the Red team wins. they will enter Wan’s home!”

    Please remember that Happiness is always Natura-L!

    Here are the rules:
    1. Artistic Reliable Is Practical
    2. The All Steelfoot Rest Spurts Models (must complete!)
    3. Four Altitude Mixture Controls (also a must)
    and finally
    4. Entire Cotton and Kapow (?) Cotton Print (yes…a must, too!)

    Good luck Survivors!

  74. Huggzie | 5:22 am |

    My shirt is 90% Kapow Cotton, so be careful when setting it on fire!

  75. Torbjorn Wallin | 5:03 am |

    In the fine print it say that models spurted by the Product may vary from the model on the Picture, up to and including the lack of models spurted if the models are out of stock.

    The Company further take no responsibility for any injury caused by aforementioned models on clothes, consumers or the consumers houses.

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