Attention Honorific Guest:
Photo courtesy of AnnieLaurie Erickson.
Found in Jianshui, China.
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(373 votes, average: 4.72 out of 5)
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Dear horrified guest,
During your visite your are complicatedly invited to damage our towels with foul stuff. It’s our indemnifying way of saying welcome!
Score:
Foul Stuff : 42
Great Complacent: 7
I wouldnot be all that complacent, if my immodesty fell down in public.
Oh, and please treasure the mattress and defend it at all costs!
Of course I will defend the fallen mattress. “My strength is as the strength of ten, because my heart is pure.” (Sir Launcelot)
Please defend the mattress from falling down into the foul stuff. It would be horrific.
As housekeeper Ms. Porn opened the door to service the hotel room, she was confronted with a scene most foul…!
Sir, we’re sorry about the draught. The inn had a roof once, but it fell down, just like everything else around here …..
@beechoak
Actually I try to cover my immodesty with the mattress but it fell down.
I have a dream, a dream of a hotel in which all foul stuff is addressed with an honorific, a hotel in which the little known 28th amendement can be invited in the defence of fallen down, immodest and generally wayward mattresses, a hotel in which the towels are not damaged, the facilities and great treasures of water and power are cherished and conserved…all for the low, low price of RMB100*
*Breakfast not included; surcharge of 50%; sales tax of 200%; surcharge on the sales tax of 5000%; no refunds; no guests; pets extra unless for dining purposes; we reserve the right to steal your valuables.
It seems to be a foregone conclusion that each guest will turn their room into a brothel before leaving. Tripadvisor comments indicate that the hotel stinks but does provide ample money making opportunity for residents.
You know you’re in good hands with an upright matress. Beware the immodest mattress that complacently falls down.
When me, damaged, ined this hotel and fell undefended right into the foul stuff amidst the hygiene faclities… I just thought, wouldn’t it be wiser for me to compacently out?
MATTRESS DOWN!! MATTRESS DOWN!!
All units respond! We need backup!
@Lana: That makes perfect sense to me.
I haven’t even checked in yet and I’m already being blamed for ruining the towels?
If I read this right, the janitorial service is “self serve”
In other words: “No freaky freaky in the tiki tiki!”
Archers, fire! Guards defend the mattress from the mounted riders! If the mattress falls, then the Inn falls.
Yet another repost!
http://www.engrish.com/2008/10/im-glad-i-came/
@Chris: the notice or my post?
Falstaff eh?
Any Inn that is good enough for a bon vivant like Sir John, is good enough for me.
Dear Horrific Guest, please honor your immodesty or the fall down the mattress in the stairs.
Foul stuff indeed, Sir John. Foul stuff indeed.
( As to the hotel’s much vaunted hygiene facilities, I see there’s no mention of the lizard in the bleeding bidet ! )
However, it was given four and one-half stars by the 2010 Commonwealth Games Committee !
entry + comments merit 6 stars
Mattress felled down at here. No turn on the rites and it was dark all lite. Towel result already damages. Lise in bedlise. Good hotel no good.
@Ptharien’s Flame:: you mean all this riposte is just for a repost? awww.
So many works in English ………… i like ……… so what if they make no sence ……. atleast they are words ……….
O Mattress Ined, where are you roaming?
I’ ve been one page long too much.. sign of honorific hotel make sense of perfection to meeself. And now I go eat my happy Chinese food to be persuaded before the dinner away.
Defend your mattress and your right to invite! And thank you for your visit again!
This is the most well-read, yet poorly-written statement I’ve ever seen.
My oh my! the mattress sure like to jump up and down!