Once upon a time…

posted on 4 Oct 2010 in Instructions, Signs

“Please hold.  Your story is very important to us.”

Found in a small hotel in Kyoto, Japan.

45 captions

  1. Jaideep | 3:22 am |

    This should make it to the Most popular section …………. real soon

  2. DrLex | 3:24 am |

    Engrish is received.

  3. phoenixx | 3:31 am |

    please press the square key..elmo will be with you soon

  4. Algernon | 3:38 am |

    In space no one can hear you scream

  5. Eduard | 3:47 am |

    Yup, that’s exactly what the manager needs to hear in case of emergencies: stories…..

  6. beechoak | 3:59 am |

    “Hello, House Keeping? This is the customer in Room 315. Let me know if you need any help…”

  7. beechoak | 4:01 am |

    What an insensitive thing to say! Managers are people, too, you know…!”

  8. Eduard | 4:04 am |

    There was once a gloomy blue little phone that was not able to dial by itself, unlike all other phones it heard of. And it was sad for no one there for it when it needed help. But time went by and the more it was used for urgent matters, the better it became. Until it grew up to be the happiest high-tech high-res HD-ready full-3D 10-zillion-colour-display touchless blue-toothed green-conscious white-collared impact-resistant water-prrof cost-efficient social-network-friendly smartphone in the office room……
    Hello ……. hello…… anyone there?……….

  9. DrLex | 4:29 am |

    It accepts urgent business for 24 hours. Then the battery runs out. Please keep your story short.

  10. gbear | 4:36 am |

    Here’s a story, of a lovely lady…..

  11. Eduard | 4:48 am |

    Tell me a good story! If me don’t like it, me replace your blah blah blah with beep beep beep ……..

  12. iLock | 4:50 am |

    Wait… You can call the manager with the phone, but you can’t phone anyone??

    So the manager isn’t anyone…

    …Once upon a time, there was a jaded wee man,
    He was a manager but, in his mind he was a nobody… a non-anyone.
    His life was not complete, he always felt like he was meant to do something more. Like he was destined for greatness!

    Please buy book to hear what happennings next!

    The Super Joy Despair Adventures of Manager Mans!

    On Sale: October 7th!

    Pre-odour yours copie today!

  13. iLock | 5:01 am |

    They even put smiley faces into their instructions 🙂
    But only for the locals though…. Hmm

  14. ngyonghan | 5:11 am |

    “Tell me a story, Tell me a story,
    Tell me story, remember what you said
    You promised me you said you would
    You got to give in so I’ll be good
    Tell me a story, then I’ll go to bed…” 😀

    Btw, the Japanese for that “Please Tell a Story” is “O hanashi kudasai” and if I’m not mistaken, and the actual meaning is “Please Speak”.

  15. xila31 | 6:09 am |

    And then push the triangle to tuck us into bed.

  16. DECMATH | 6:16 am |

    Whatever your story, you will get no pity from this office.

  17. Thomas | 6:49 am |

    Press button. Receive English.

  18. Chris | 7:22 am |

    It accepts urgent business for 24 hours…or else it gets the hose again.

  19. Terri | 8:23 am |

    What do I receive if I press the yellow circle?

  20. kitsune | 9:10 am |

    One cell phone to rule them, one cell phone to find them, one cell phone to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them…

  21. tekleader | 9:17 am |

    Once upon a time, there was a very, very angry man who was trying to get into the office room!!!

  22. Classic Steve | 9:30 am |

    I must help someone — anyone — with anything, or I’ll just DIE!

  23. Classic Steve | 9:32 am |

    “They did a good job of translating those instructions.” There, I just told a story.

  24. Ralph Hamilton | 9:50 am |

    Our Manger is nobody.

    He was a very careful man,
    Who never drank nor smoked,
    He never laughed, he never swore,
    And never ever joked,
    And when at lasr he passed away,
    Insurance was denied,
    Because they claimed he never lived,
    The claimed he never died.

  25. Ralph Hamilton | 9:51 am |

    EDIT: manager (coises)

  26. SpicyChick | 10:07 am |

    Once upon a time…there was a blue phone.

  27. Gwydion Williams | 10:33 am |

    “We are sorry for no one here”

    That’s the modern corporate spirit

  28. Ani | 5:22 pm |

    ♫Operator, could you help me place this call?
    ‘Cause I can’t comprehend the push button my phone tells me.
    There’s something in my eye
    You know it happens every time
    I think about the love that I thought would save me

    Operator, let’s forget about this call!
    There’s no story anyway that I really wanted to tell you.
    Thank you for your time
    Oh you’ve been so much more than kind
    And you can keep the dime. ♫

  29. mickeygreeneyes | 7:44 pm |

    @ngyonghan — that ancient Jimmy Boyd song? Dude, you must be almost as old as me!

  30. Greatfish | 9:09 pm |

    Hello Hello Manager
    I Call You
    Can’t Hear A Thing
    Perhaps It’s Because You Don’t Exist
    You See See
    Whi-whi-whi-whi which is a shame
    I Call To Tell You Story
    Rather Than Report A Life Threatening Emergency-cy

  31. Anna Rexia | 9:54 pm |


  32. emily2903 | 2:07 am |

    Please, no French, German or Mandarin. This phone receives only English.

  33. emily2903 | 2:12 am |

    Call us only if you need to help. Don’t call us if you need help!

  34. ngyonghan | 7:42 am |

    @mickeygreeneyes – Yeah, that old song. Nah, I’m born in the 80s. During my younger days in my place they used to have a radio station broadcasting the music of circa 50s and the 60s. I almost heard it every weekends during that time. 😀

  35. jmcnally | 9:46 am |

    Once upon a time I found this cool site called Engrish.com and I made such happy learning Engrish that when I stumbled upon this sign phoning no one in office I thought to myself “hmmm, I totarry understand the instluctions – good job!”

  36. Dimitris Tzortzakakis | 12:00 pm |

    Japanese says:”Please speak up”

  37. Falco | 2:55 pm |

    Let me tell you a story ’bout a man named Jed…

  38. Jaideep | 6:41 am |

    I urgently need to use the washroom ………

  39. David | 2:46 pm |

    Please tell a story, or else we’ll hanging you up!

  40. chickenman | 12:29 am |

    I am a little phone that no-body understands…what’s your story??

  41. ELaMa | 5:34 pm |

    tell a story….once apon a time…..

  42. Lollerskate | 9:04 pm |

    ♪♫ Now, this is the story all about how
    My life got flipped-turned upside down
    And I’d like to take a minute
    Just sit right there
    I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Kyot-Air! ♫♪

  43. DrinkyThinky | 12:30 am |

    Now, trolls have a place where they can freely tell all their nonsense.
    Call tonight.

  44. Mere | 6:17 pm |

    If it’s Cinderella, don’t bother. I’ve heard that one WAY to many times already.

  45. DragonLady | 3:43 pm |

    Once upon a time, in a Universe far away, a very hungry black hole decided to gobble up the planet Earth. It stated with South & east asia , since they had most of the luscious soylent green, going on to suck in all the other contentinents & washing it all down with fresh & salt water. The hole seemed quite satisfied, as it belched & farted its way toward other planets.
    Alas, that was the end of Mother Earth for all time.

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