Fruit/Vegetable Peeler Package Instructions (contains 4 letter word)

posted on 8 Nov 2010 in Chinglish, Instructions

Who knew peeling vegetables was so complicated?


Photo courtesy of Meghan D’Mello.
Found in Chinese discount store in India.
Image of back of a fruit/vegetable peeler package.

40 captions

  1. Eduard | 3:33 am |

    So, in excrescent circumstances, when the finger does not want to touch, the product transforms and if used from behind, the bottom is good to please if usage with exactitude!
    Oh, and don’t forget to send greeting after discarding the package!
    😀

  2. Lana | 3:35 am |

    Have a meal first and don’t forget to wash the behind afterwards!:D

  3. DrLex | 3:39 am |

    Divided by the vegetable melons, not to be confused with the meaty melons.

  4. DrZos | 3:44 am |

    I am the function peeler and I approve this message.

  5. Eduard | 4:03 am |

    If they put it THIS way, peeling IS a hazardous habit! Not to mention greasy, messy, slippery, confusing, complex, risky, bloody, filthy, sexually-implicit and perverse, but pleasant, nevertheless!

  6. faulty wiring | 4:25 am |

    Got it. Now all I need is a carrot & some lubricant

  7. Algernon | 4:36 am |

    What the f@#jk mow the wound finger!

  8. faulty wiring | 4:40 am |

    ‘911, what is your emergency?’
    ‘I’ve just mowed myself with our new vegetable slicer’
    ‘Hmm, this is a heavy circumstance. You didn’t use it on an empty stomach did you?’
    ‘Yes ma’am’.
    ‘You must send a greeting immediately, but don’t discard the handles. Were next to fiery, or cutting vegetable melons?’
    ‘I was, actually’
    ‘Oh God! Has the excrescence started? ‘
    ‘Well, now that you mention it…’
    ‘How old are you son?’
    ‘Fourteen.’
    ‘Right. I’m dispatching a vehicle to mete out some exactitude on your bottom young man. Maybe next time you’ll remember to read the instructions’

  9. Eduard | 4:40 am |

    I’d better stick to peeling the labels off my bottles of Bud.

  10. beechoak | 5:10 am |

    No better place to cane the child than the place!

  11. jjhitt | 5:24 am |

    I’m not sure, but I think the last two items sound like a suicide note.

  12. Eccekio | 5:37 am |

    Proof of age is required before allowing instructions to be read.

  13. jjhitt | 5:37 am |

    Washing and wiping one’s behind IS important.

  14. Sam | 5:45 am |

    It slices! It dices! It … does what now?!??

  15. jjhitt | 5:51 am |

    I’ll have the triple bacon cheeseburger. I got a whole mess of vegetables I need to peel.

  16. jjhitt | 5:51 am |

    (because of monkeys)

  17. jjhitt | 5:59 am |

    I do not provide legal advice and as the law differs in each legal jurisdiction and may be interpreted or applied differently depending on your location or situation, you should consult with a lawyer for legal advice.

    HOWEVER, I can tell you that sex acts involving children and razor blades is going to get you deep in big trouble.

  18. Jellychop | 6:23 am |

    How do you peel a function?

  19. SF | 6:46 am |

    Van Gogh bought one, once.

  20. FatKenney | 7:01 am |

    Great for peeling potatoes, shredding carrots, and extracting confessions.

  21. FatKenney | 7:02 am |

    This product endorsed by Rachael Ray, Gordon Ramsay, and Grand Inquisitor Torquemada.

  22. DrLex | 7:44 am |

    Will it peel? That is the question.

  23. jjhitt | 10:08 am |

    On my planet, melons have rinds, not peels.

  24. demondude777 | 11:10 am |

    Hello company of razer mow fingers of vegetable peeler!

    Sending greetings after discarding pack. Read instruction on slicing of fingers and mow children. Decided to eat vegetables in raw of the form after reading warning.

    Thank you for dangerous slicer! Have a day that is joyful, and give my best to the childs!

  25. Josh | 1:57 pm |

    I don’t know where to begin with this one………………………..

  26. Eccekio | 2:59 pm |

    If I, for some strange reason wished to have intercourse with a behind, my minimum requirements would definitely be, that it be well washed and wiped first.

  27. EffEff | 4:56 pm |

    “Under the heavy circumstance in burthen please avoid usage, the in order to prevent causes the product transforms.”

    Cool! Does that mean it turns into a giant robot!

  28. selevi | 10:17 pm |

    Oh! Ahahahaha … I do not really know why … ruined many such words are not.

  29. selevi | 10:22 pm |

    @faulty wiring: it might be interesting having your comment run through the Engrish.com method. 😀

    ‘911, what is your emergency?’
    ‘I have cut myself just in our new vegetable slicer’
    ‘Well, this is a serious situation. Do not use it on an empty stomach you did? ‘
    ‘Yes, madam.’
    ‘You must not destroy the process to send a greeting immediately. Such as burning, cutting vegetables or melons or the next? ‘
    ‘I was actually ‘
    [Oh my God! Are you starting something extra? ‘
    ‘Well, now you are speaking of that …
    ‘You are old are you son? ‘
    ‘Fourteen’
    ‘Right. I have some of the accuracy of your bottom young man sent to Mete’s car. Maybe you read the instruction will remember next time ‘

  30. faulty wiring | 1:54 am |

    @selevi:

    much thank. me speak engrish now very goodly. me teacher at my country for the engrish. happy friend!

  31. Jeff | 5:28 am |

    Well, it sure is more pleasant if you wash first, then “use” from behind…

  32. my guitar wants to kill your mama | 8:10 am |

    one word “exactitude”

  33. Carlos | 10:28 am |

    “The usage is good to please wash clearly to wipe to **** behind”
    That’s what she said.
    It’s not what I said, though. I find the usage to be better if the behind a little dirty when I **** it.

  34. mike | 3:33 pm |

    And people thought that Yoda talked funny….

  35. This is either the Unabomber’s manifesto or component stereo instructions.

  36. Meathead | 7:04 pm |

    It washes the peel of blade or else the hose it gets.

  37. liam1224 | 7:28 pm |

    but after I have a meal I’m not hungry…

  38. garudamon11 | 11:56 pm |

    Translation: dont cut your self

  39. Ruuku | 8:57 am |

    I’m getting tired of sending greetings cards every time I need to peel something

  40. DragonLady | 3:17 pm |

    I’ve heard that Lady Thatcher keeps one of these peelers in each & every one of her handbags. She had the instructions decoded for her personal usage & is very satisfied with the product.

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