Fruit/Vegetable Peeler Package Instructions (contains 4 letter word)

posted on 8 Nov 2010 in Chinglish, Instructions

Who knew peeling vegetables was so complicated?


Photo courtesy of Meghan D’Mello.
Found in Chinese discount store in India.
Image of back of a fruit/vegetable peeler package.

40 captions

  1. Eduard | 3:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    So, in excrescent circumstances, when the finger does not want to touch, the product transforms and if used from behind, the bottom is good to please if usage with exactitude!
    Oh, and don’t forget to send greeting after discarding the package!
    😀

  2. Lana | 3:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Have a meal first and don’t forget to wash the behind afterwards!:D

  3. DrLex | 3:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Divided by the vegetable melons, not to be confused with the meaty melons.

  4. DrZos | 3:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I am the function peeler and I approve this message.

  5. Eduard | 4:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    If they put it THIS way, peeling IS a hazardous habit! Not to mention greasy, messy, slippery, confusing, complex, risky, bloody, filthy, sexually-implicit and perverse, but pleasant, nevertheless!

  6. faulty wiring | 4:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Got it. Now all I need is a carrot & some lubricant

  7. Algernon | 4:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    What the f@#jk mow the wound finger!

  8. faulty wiring | 4:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    ‘911, what is your emergency?’
    ‘I’ve just mowed myself with our new vegetable slicer’
    ‘Hmm, this is a heavy circumstance. You didn’t use it on an empty stomach did you?’
    ‘Yes ma’am’.
    ‘You must send a greeting immediately, but don’t discard the handles. Were next to fiery, or cutting vegetable melons?’
    ‘I was, actually’
    ‘Oh God! Has the excrescence started? ‘
    ‘Well, now that you mention it…’
    ‘How old are you son?’
    ‘Fourteen.’
    ‘Right. I’m dispatching a vehicle to mete out some exactitude on your bottom young man. Maybe next time you’ll remember to read the instructions’

  9. Eduard | 4:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I’d better stick to peeling the labels off my bottles of Bud.

  10. beechoak | 5:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    No better place to cane the child than the place!

  11. jjhitt | 5:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I’m not sure, but I think the last two items sound like a suicide note.

  12. Eccekio | 5:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Proof of age is required before allowing instructions to be read.

  13. jjhitt | 5:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Washing and wiping one’s behind IS important.

  14. Sam | 5:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    It slices! It dices! It … does what now?!??

  15. jjhitt | 5:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll have the triple bacon cheeseburger. I got a whole mess of vegetables I need to peel.

  16. jjhitt | 5:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    (because of monkeys)

  17. jjhitt | 5:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I do not provide legal advice and as the law differs in each legal jurisdiction and may be interpreted or applied differently depending on your location or situation, you should consult with a lawyer for legal advice.

    HOWEVER, I can tell you that sex acts involving children and razor blades is going to get you deep in big trouble.

  18. Jellychop | 6:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    How do you peel a function?

  19. SF | 6:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Van Gogh bought one, once.

  20. FatKenney | 7:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Great for peeling potatoes, shredding carrots, and extracting confessions.

  21. FatKenney | 7:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    This product endorsed by Rachael Ray, Gordon Ramsay, and Grand Inquisitor Torquemada.

  22. DrLex | 7:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Will it peel? That is the question.

  23. jjhitt | 10:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    On my planet, melons have rinds, not peels.

  24. demondude777 | 11:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Hello company of razer mow fingers of vegetable peeler!

    Sending greetings after discarding pack. Read instruction on slicing of fingers and mow children. Decided to eat vegetables in raw of the form after reading warning.

    Thank you for dangerous slicer! Have a day that is joyful, and give my best to the childs!

  25. Josh | 1:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I don’t know where to begin with this one………………………..

  26. Eccekio | 2:59 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    If I, for some strange reason wished to have intercourse with a behind, my minimum requirements would definitely be, that it be well washed and wiped first.

  27. EffEff | 4:56 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Under the heavy circumstance in burthen please avoid usage, the in order to prevent causes the product transforms.”

    Cool! Does that mean it turns into a giant robot!

  28. selevi | 10:17 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh! Ahahahaha … I do not really know why … ruined many such words are not.

  29. selevi | 10:22 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @faulty wiring: it might be interesting having your comment run through the Engrish.com method. 😀

    ‘911, what is your emergency?’
    ‘I have cut myself just in our new vegetable slicer’
    ‘Well, this is a serious situation. Do not use it on an empty stomach you did? ‘
    ‘Yes, madam.’
    ‘You must not destroy the process to send a greeting immediately. Such as burning, cutting vegetables or melons or the next? ‘
    ‘I was actually ‘
    [Oh my God! Are you starting something extra? ‘
    ‘Well, now you are speaking of that …
    ‘You are old are you son? ‘
    ‘Fourteen’
    ‘Right. I have some of the accuracy of your bottom young man sent to Mete’s car. Maybe you read the instruction will remember next time ‘

  30. faulty wiring | 1:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    @selevi:

    much thank. me speak engrish now very goodly. me teacher at my country for the engrish. happy friend!

  31. Jeff | 5:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Well, it sure is more pleasant if you wash first, then “use” from behind…

  32. my guitar wants to kill your mama | 8:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    one word “exactitude”

  33. Carlos | 10:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “The usage is good to please wash clearly to wipe to **** behind”
    That’s what she said.
    It’s not what I said, though. I find the usage to be better if the behind a little dirty when I **** it.

  34. mike | 3:33 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    And people thought that Yoda talked funny….

  35. Wile E. Coyote Super Genius | 10:28 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This is either the Unabomber’s manifesto or component stereo instructions.

  36. Meathead | 7:04 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    It washes the peel of blade or else the hose it gets.

  37. liam1224 | 7:28 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    but after I have a meal I’m not hungry…

  38. garudamon11 | 11:56 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 1  

    Translation: dont cut your self

  39. Ruuku | 8:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I’m getting tired of sending greetings cards every time I need to peel something

  40. DragonLady | 3:17 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ve heard that Lady Thatcher keeps one of these peelers in each & every one of her handbags. She had the instructions decoded for her personal usage & is very satisfied with the product.

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