Goes down much easier now…
posted on 3 Jan 2011 in Chinglish
Photo courtesy of Lisa Hammer.
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No poison, no taste, just the scent of bitter almonds and mysterious transparent crockery.
Because the Junior type was a bit hazardous and too salty.
The tasty poisonous tablecloth is a great present idea for a rich childless old aunt.
No Poison No Taste*
*will explode if used as tablecloth; has sharp edges; may contain polonium 210 and traces of peanuts.
No poison, no taste, but you still gotta keep the table clean after dying.
Just like drinking water.
Know poison. Know taste.
No poison, no taste, no style, no joy. We proudly present our most boring tablecloth ever.
This Department has worked _23_ days without a tablecloth related poisoning.
Safety First.
No poison, no taste, and no table legs either!
“Poison” is the New York City pronunciation of “person”.
Things for the Feng Shin tablecloth company had taken a serious downturn after their flagship ‘Flavoured Poison Tablecloth’ series proved to be a dangerous health hazard. Several senior executives had been hauled over the coals for that debacle! After numerous brainstorming sessions and various international fact finding missions, a junior R&D employee seemed to have come up with the solution, which was, in retrospect, painfully simple: “All our customers are dying and their families are suing us. Why? Because our tablecloths are laced with various deliciously flavoured but lethal toxins. Wouldn’t it make sense to make our product poison free? We would save on the cost of cyanide and also not spend so much time in court.” As a reward for his genius, the employee was promoted to a VP position and given free rein of the R&D department. The company’s new breakthrough, though still technically under wraps, is an Ebola virus contaminated tea set which they believe will restore Feng Shin to it’s dual position as market leader in quality domestic products and an outlet for the stealthy disposal of biohazardous waste products.
What tasteless decor you have.
Honey, don’t fill up on table cloth, you’ll have no room for dinner plates.
Bite me.
I know it’s not poisonous, but please refrain from tasting the tablecloth, grandpa.
The 3 second rule is back!
No taste I am fine with….but no poison? If the table cloth can’t kill me over dinner, what the hell good is it?
New Type tablecloth – personally endorsed by Amuro Rei.
The old type tablecloth was fugu flavored.
No poison, but also no taste…. I think it’s a good trade off.
Being fashionably late should not be the same as fashionably dead.
Sequel to “Arsenic and Old Lace” (1944). Not well received by the critics or at the box office.
It just makes all your cups invisible!
thats real chewy….
Balance honourable table san on knees, while enjoying a refreshing cup of “N”.
@ben – the poisonous tablecloth was used by Char and , hence, killed himself leading to the end of the Gundam series.
If you put that tablecloth on with green or yellow plates, you have no taste.
They had noticed an alarming drop in repeat customers . . .
I like the semi-invisible teapot. But what if the tea contains poison? Even worse, what if the tea contains no taste??
Tablecloth MSDS sheet lists:
CAS No: 9002-88-4
non-toxic
odorless
tasteless
Since seniors cannot be trusted to not eat their tablecloths with their food. (Old age leads to such bizarre behaviors, after all…)
NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE!
Much better than those upstart junior tablecloths, which are full of both poison AND flavour.
No taste,
Just a gentle reminder in case some diners take the “All you can eat’ sign” too seriously.
the elderly friendly table cloth
The strawberry-flavoured table cloth tasted better
No pain, no gain.
NEW! Tasteless, Non-Toxic, Geriatric Table Covers!
It is now safe to set down your silverware!
(May enhance wrinkles and cause gray hair.)
Sure it has no taste! Look at this hideous package! Seriously…
Ugh! I really miss the old tablecloth taste!!!
Our new tablecloths no longer contains the poison that has been killing off our senior citizen. Eventhough, this decor now has no taste; we still recommend not eating the tablecloth.
For those who eat their napkins
Just don’t like the lead paint on the tea set.