The cook is now on the TSA watch list…

posted on 18 Jan 2011 in Chinglish, Menus

Photo courtesy of Sam Carter.
Found at restaurant in Beijing, China.

40 captions

  1. Algernon | 4:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Beware buelatiful woman this stuff blows your head off.

  2. jjhitt | 4:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Your head is fired. Get out!
    The rest of you, however, is expected to get back to work.

  3. jjhitt | 4:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Raymond Chandler ate here.

  4. jjhitt | 4:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    It’s made with stuff, so it’s got to be good.

  5. faulty wiring | 4:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    One main of spicy beautiful woman stuff with exploding fries, please. But hoold the squid head.

  6. faulty wiring | 4:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Sorry, we’re fresh out of beautiful woman pepper. We can do it with communist pepper or inexperienced pepper though.

  7. DrLex | 5:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I wonder what the Scoville score would be for exploding semtex fries.

  8. jjhitt | 5:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    WARNING: May contain nuts, beautiful women and exploding chefs.

  9. krysto4 | 5:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    “Sir, please step out of the line – we’ve detected exploding fries in your underwear…”

  10. Take2 | 6:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Does the HR office allow spicily firing?

  11. d17nk | 6:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    apparantly, they hire octopus for waiters in China

  12. Someone | 6:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Is that an exploding frie in your pants or are you just happy to see the pepper?

  13. Tekleader | 7:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    “Delicious! By the way, what happened to that other guy who used to work here?”

  14. Classic Steve | 7:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I hope the employee was whoever wrote this menu.

  15. Chris | 8:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Beautiful woman pepper! Wouldn’t you like to be a pepper too?

  16. SilverRose | 8:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    A, that was a wild night at the Chinese resturant! HOLY CATS WE’RE ON YOUTUBE!

  17. demondude777 | 9:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Wow. I don’t know if I just want to eat here, or take out an application to work so I can watch the show. Cooks that explode stuff, employees getting fired…this sounds fun.

  18. Xila31 | 10:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    The employee was fired with a dash of tabasco and a side of exploding fries.

  19. Lollerskate | 10:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    That’s not squid…

  20. Snufkin | 10:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “Waiter, there’s a beautiful woman in my soup!”

    “Ah, yes sir, we apologize. I’ll be happy to get you something else instead. I can assure you the chef responsible has been…ah…terminated.”

    “Ah, well, in that case….hm…”

    “Might I recommend the Grills Crazy Chef Serve Him for Dinner Soup? It’s very…. fresh.”

  21. Big Fat Cat | 1:06 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This is a secret dish adapted from the French Revolution when they have heads rolling all around.

  22. Yannush | 1:17 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The cook was punished for what he did to the duck which later exploded.

  23. Darth Na'vi | 2:56 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I dunno. This may be the best one yet out of China’s menus generated by online translation.

  24. Stopchicks | 5:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t they know that beautiful women named Pepper and squidheads with garlic breath don’t mix?

  25. Cecily | 8:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    “This squid head is absolutely delicious! I’ve never had such…OH MY GOD, it’s the cook! He’s gone spicy in the head…and he’s got exploding fries! EVERYBODY GET DOWN!”

  26. Bob | 12:22 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    A coworker told me that to be “fried a squid” is a slang term in Chinese meaning that you’ve been fired. So the real name of this dish should be “Spicily Fried Squid Head.” (I’ve known a couple of employees who were squidheads…)

  27. Lora | 7:09 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The stuff they put on the Kid’s Menu these days…

  28. emily | 3:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Waiter: May I take your order, sir?
    Diner: Bring me the beautiful woman. No pepper please.

  29. Rob | 10:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    When “parsley” is the only remotely appetizing-sounding part of the meal, you know it’s not a good sign.

  30. Wile E. Coyote Super Genius | 8:25 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Seems like everything on the menu here explodes then fries, and if it’s not made with beautiful woman pepper then it tastes like Kim Possible. Sex and gunpowder rule the Muddle Kingdom ….

  31. Martin Zhang | 11:02 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    how do you fire employees with spicily do you feed the employee lots of beautiful woman pepper?

  32. EffEff | 7:59 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “Scotty, there’s a strange woman in my soup who knows my entire meal plan!”

  33. garudamon11 | 11:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Employee: “Damn! cant get rid of my boss even in vacation!”

  34. Cami | 9:23 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I mean, he was a pretty bad waiter.

  35. Long Tom | 4:26 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I remember seeing a news item about bursting watermelons in China.

  36. Davey8 | 3:51 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Uhm, now that I know explosives are required for a lot of Asian cooking, is it too late to back out of my Chinese cooking class?!

  37. MamiZombie | 12:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Let’s see, I’ve got the parsley, tender garlic stem and squid head. Now where can I find the Beautiful Woman Pepper? Is it at the Adult Desserts aisle?”

  38. MamiZombie | 12:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Sorry, should be at Adult Spices aisle.

  39. Chris Coffman | 10:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    You are experience angrerd head are tardy, make from fries when blewed in!! Enjoy the onry woman!

  40. sparky | 9:08 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Q: Wow do you get squid head?
    A: Very carefully!

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