Special features vegetables

posted on 1 Mar 2011 in Chinglish, Menus

Photo courtesy of Peter.
Menu from China.

74 captions

  1. Terri | 4:10 am |

    Wabbit…duck…wabbit….duck..wabbit…fish

  2. DrLex | 4:17 am |

    Either Gollum wrote this menu or someone has been fishing and eating too many chickens from the lead river.

  3. Algernon | 4:27 am |

    I wonder if the adopted mother returned to break the tile.

  4. Algernon | 4:40 am |

    The milk soup is muttony, well thank goodness. I was worried it might be fishy.

  5. Big Fat Cat | 5:05 am |

    Waiter. Does the restaurant carry surrogate mother to a pot of goldfishes?

  6. Big Fat Cat | 5:06 am |

    The duck drinks the beer while the chicken works hard for the money.

  7. jjhitt | 5:09 am |

    Lead river? Must be China.

  8. Ralph Hamilton | 5:37 am |

    50% SURCHARGE FOR A MENU WHICH MAKES SENSE.

  9. Ralph Hamilton | 5:39 am |

    It’s hard to be an eagle, when the chickenses keep pecking on your toeses.

  10. Thomas | 5:53 am |

    Are the vegetables web ready?

  11. Jellychop | 6:16 am |

    The rich and honored chickenses are specially reserved for MYLORD.

  12. garudamon11 | 7:04 am |

    The adopted mother explodes the duck beer

  13. garudamon11 | 7:09 am |

    The adopted mother returns to a pot of fish…. or else it gets the hose again !!

  14. Ageless | 7:10 am |

    Where are the veggies? The only veggie mentioned is a fruit!

  15. Yugan Dali | 7:25 am |

    That’s so bad it’s poetic! Read it aloud, trippingly, with feeling. It makes as much sense as a lot of modern poetry, and sounds better.

  16. Stopchicks | 7:51 am |

    I’ll have some broken tile fish and a side of grout, please.

  17. No the other one | 8:03 am |

    We hates the nasty chickenses!

  18. Ralph Hamilton | 8:32 am |

    Unfortunately for the chickenses, the honours came posthumously.

  19. DrLex | 8:59 am |

    I’ll have my tomato fillet medium rare, please.

  20. Classic Steve | 9:15 am |

    Broken tile fish… shard shad?

  21. demondude777 | 9:37 am |

    So if the river water cooks the river water fish already, what is it your chef does then to make the plate $50.00?

  22. David Esquivel | 10:08 am |

    “The adopted mother returns to pot of fish” XD

  23. coffeebot | 10:13 am |

    Adopted Mother puts the fish in the bucket. Then it rubs with the Lube Sheep.

  24. NolaJane | 10:17 am |

    Tricksy little chickenses. They stoles them from us! They stoles our grapses!

  25. Chris | 10:28 am |

    We’ll have the whole chickenses…AND THE PRECIOUS!

  26. Gloria | 10:31 am |

    I wonder if the chicken-fish-rabbit is the Chinese version of the U.S. Jack-a-lope? Either way I’m sure it is just as tasty! Especially if it is smothered in Ginkgo and beer!

  27. samuel | 10:34 am |

    Just imagine the old spice guy saying this…. and SWAN DIVE!

  28. artbum | 10:35 am |

    Free range cooks free range chicken.

  29. Big Fat Cat | 10:55 am |

    The Lead River is a branch of the Cow River which in turn is a branch of Cry Me a River.

  30. teddeler | 11:28 am |

    Special features vegetables : for main menu, turn over

    Rich and honored whole chickenses : guaranteed to have been given their night as king th previous night
    Beer duck : good…hic…stuff
    Chicken fish rabbit : our improvement on the turducken
    Broken tile fish : catch us on a better day and we can get you whole tile fish
    The adopted mother returns to a pot of fish : The Little Mermaid gone wrong
    Tomato fillet : caught fresh
    River water cooks river water fish : honestly, it does
    Ming Jiang river’s fish : He’ll want it back after lunch
    Lead river’s chicken : the backup river’s chicken got away
    Ginkgo smothered chicken : we kill kindly
    Graspses mutton : my preeecciiious
    The milk soup is muttony : guess where the other sheep was hiding

    (sorry if this is too much, I’ve been fighting flu and losing for days and may be hallucinating about how funny I found each of these (not sure that last statement made sense, ah well))

  31. Gwydion Williams | 11:39 am |

    I’m also wondering how you fillet a tomato

  32. Yannush | 11:47 am |

    I’m completely muttony having read this menu.

  33. Elsys St. Valencia | 1:25 pm |

    No wonder we can’t read it. It’s in Chickenese!

  34. Cari | 1:59 pm |

    This are very hot River water what cook river water fish.

  35. Josh | 3:18 pm |

    There comes a time when all adopted mothers must eventually return to the pot of fish from whence they came..

  36. Bakufun | 3:55 pm |

    …horrible. Simply horrible.

  37. Areze | 3:57 pm |

    Mom is an extreme omnivore, returning to the pot of broken tile fish like that…

  38. alfaritmos | 5:08 pm |

    The Chinese. the Great society of honor based food. i wish my step mom would do things to my food to make it better, but river water in China sucks so never mind.

  39. Pete | 5:36 pm |

    Preciousssss chickenses!!!

  40. RT | 7:04 pm |

    you see gaiz? taking that korean english learning course instead of worrying about the NEAT does in fact, land you a job!

  41. emily | 7:31 pm |

    The milk soup is muttony
    The adopted mother is fishy
    The rich and honoured chicken is cocky

  42. Pete | 7:31 pm |

    Yessss…those all lookses like vegetableses disssheses.
    (Except the Tomato fillet-eses.)

  43. Pete | 7:32 pm |

    Q: Whaddaya want for breakfast, dear?
    A: Mutton, honey!

  44. jjhitt | 8:06 pm |

    Dr. Lecter: And what did you see, Clarice? What did you see?
    Clarice: Tomatoes. And they were screaming.
    Dr. Lecter: They were filleting the spring tomatoes…

  45. Chuck | 12:05 pm |

    A bounty of the muttony !

  46. DragonLady | 4:48 pm |

    Now I can finally have my tomatoes without those pesky bones. Thank you, honored China.

  47. Rizka | 6:53 pm |

    I have a feeling that whoever made this menu just want to be in Engrish.com. Well, you made it, congratulations!!!

  48. A Non-Y Mouse | 7:47 pm |

    I think I’d like to try the broken tile fish, but how many dollars is 30/SQRT(T)?

  49. MrAeod | 9:21 am |

    The Chinese obviously just want to trick everyone else into losing their vegan powers by advertising meat as vegetables. Then they will have WORL DORMINASHION!

  50. $teve | 1:49 pm |

    Can I get the “noodles with neglected and half beefness” please?

  51. Tom P. | 10:29 am |

    Having to pick out tiny bones from my fish is bad enough, but broken tiles… that’s gone too far!

  52. Bug | 9:56 am |

    Honestly, those are pretty accurate if you take the characters literally. Although I’m pretty sure they used Google Translate.

  53. Domino | 1:25 pm |

    What has it got in its pockets, Precious? Chickenses??

  54. Brian | 1:36 pm |

    This is muttony!

    This is Milk Soup!

  55. Brian | 1:42 pm |

    Keeping up with the chickenses.

  56. Dr. Suess | 9:06 pm |

    Are you my mother?

  57. Bunni | 12:51 pm |

    Please don’t tell me those prices are in US dollars…

  58. Squidblender | 6:56 pm |

    We grapses the chickenses!

  59. Jonathan | 7:22 pm |

    Yes, nice chickenses, precious, tasty juisy chickenses precious. But we don’t like nasty lead poisening!

  60. Casey | 6:58 am |

    Only in China can you get the best lead paint, and lead river chicken.

  61. Casey | 6:59 am |

    50.00 for a tomato???

  62. nazani14 | 5:50 pm |

    If you get the chance, try the tile-piece fish, it’s yummy. And just to confuse things, there is also a kind of fish called tilefish.

  63. Seventy2rd o clock | 2:48 pm |

    Waiter! My beer duck got spilled on a tile fish!

  64. Martin Zhang | 7:47 pm |

    of course river water cooks river water fish; that’s obvious. using lake water to cook tap water fish would be ridiculous

  65. scars | 9:15 pm |

    Waiter, after reading all these stories, what’s today’s special?”

  66. Boctor Poo | 8:24 am |

    Does Chicken Fish Rabbit taste like Man Bear Pig?

  67. Voyz | 9:04 am |

    the adopted mother returns to a pot of fish…, so the fish adopted a mother?

  68. Gerson | 2:06 am |

    Ill take 2 adopted mothers returning to their pot of fish…

    *Gets french fries*

    … I gotta admit that is not what I was expecting…

  69. adrasl300 | 3:14 pm |

    Its like a menu written by the pagans from the Thief games!
    Heh high five….anyone? No?…okay.

  70. BuzzKirrington | 3:40 pm |

    If you would only stop grasping the mutton, maybe the milk soup would not be so muttony!

  71. mrbenz | 1:03 pm |

    So, that’s why I couldn’t find her anywhere…. She’s with her families now… In a pot of fish…

  72. Silverwolf | 2:34 pm |

    I can’t tell whether I’m reading a menu or a very surreal children’s story.

  73. NightWolf71 | 5:12 pm |

    At the end of their rich and honored lives, the chickenses are cooked as food.

  74. the spatular cephalopod | 12:14 am |

    We loves chickenses, yes we does, preciousss! We graspses them and we eatses them whooole!

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