Swim and Must Know at Sea

posted on 30 Jun 2011 in Chinglish



Photo courtesy of Conny Kulinna.
Sign at small beach in Zhujiajian, China.

43 captions

  1. jjhitt | 4:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Be a designated dyke – because friends don’t let friends plunge drunk.

  2. Big Fat Cat | 4:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I saw a blonde in the Shark’s network area and I tried to succour each other but I was too busy fighting off the sharks.

  3. Big Fat Cat | 4:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    The residential sea has a lower requirement. You can drink, plunge and swim with no consequences.

  4. faulty wiring | 4:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Read and must know at gobbledeegook

  5. Algernon | 4:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Must be a worry when the sharks circle in the designated dyke.

  6. jjhitt | 4:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    If you suffer from The Uncomfortable One, we may be able to help.
    Ask your doctor if the Shark Network is right for you.

  7. Cathay | 4:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I had a happy plunge until suffering an uncomfortable one….

  8. jjhitt | 4:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    In the Shareware sea you only get Sea Bath Management as an add on.

  9. Brandon | 4:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    God forbid I should get drunk and plunge in to the commercial sea! Everyone knows that that’s the reason we have non-profit seas!

  10. FatKenney | 4:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    If suffering an out-of-network shark attack roaming charges may apply.

  11. jjhitt | 4:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    This commercialization and privatization craze has gone too far, that last shark had “Brought To You By Do Do Coffee” written on it’s side.

  12. FatKenney | 5:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    So what would be an example of a “lifesaving appliance”? A defibrillator? I’m not sure that would work well at sea, even in a shallow water district. And if I ever did require the assistance of a defibrillator, I definitely wouldn’t want it allocated by a beginner.

  13. DrLex | 5:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    A Shark Network Area, finally a networking technology that works well underwater.

  14. jjhitt | 5:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Dykes, Sharks and Drunks… sounds like a typical day at the office.

  15. DrLex | 5:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    What this sign actually says, is that the people who wrote it were drunk. As if that wasn’t obvious enough.

  16. Seventy2rd o clock | 6:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Following regulations I followed the regulations, in spite of having a chronic heart attack.

  17. Seventy2rd o clock | 6:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Must know… to choose between shark attack and heart attack.

  18. Seventy2rd o clock | 6:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Swimming dyke must know plugging into the commercial network area!

  19. xila31 | 6:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    When being attacked by sharks it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

  20. jjhitt | 6:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    If you swim in the commercial sea without paying, does that make me a pirate?

  21. Chuck | 6:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The persons who get drunk generally forbid nothing except last call.

  22. Kitsune | 7:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ve heard of a Designate Drive, but never a designate dyke. Is that someone who pretends to be gay and keeps they guys away?

  23. Brian | 7:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Help! Help! I’m drowning! Somebody… quick… activate the lifesaving appliance!

  24. Jellychop | 7:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “Visitors must swim in shark’s network area…”.
    “The persons who get drunk forbid plunging into the commercial sea…”.

    Sorry, I don’t go into any place where sharks and drunks make the rules.

  25. ...Brick Road | 8:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Children should not plunge into the commercial sea at all. It might give them ADHD.

  26. kshe | 8:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    That was the river; this is the commercial sea.

  27. demondude777 | 8:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    No sir, this is the residents area. Your area is over there where all the fins are circling in the water. Please have a good time visiting our country.

  28. Ntrdx | 8:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    It’s fun to charter an accountant / and sail the wide commercial sea. / To find, explore, the funds offshore, / and network with something toothy …

  29. Kitsune | 9:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I asked for a lifesaving appliance but the washer/dryer combo really didn’t help.

  30. Lora | 10:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    The children can’t plunge into the commercial sea alone because they have to guard the adults? Not a very kid-friendly beach!

  31. Lora | 10:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    “Life’s A Beach” will return after this commercial sea break: Are naked beach apes causing a commotion in you, the ocean? Are they getting drunk at night and plunging into you without a designated dyke? Are the uncomfortable one relieving their “discomfort” in your nice clean waters? Then you need the Shark’s Network! Yes, these specially-trained sharks will form a net-like barrier in your shallow water district and keep those beach apes at BAY (get it?) And now back to our show!

  32. Josh | 10:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh, the plight of the children! The adults always fail to guard, leaving them with no choice but to plunge into the commercial sea and swim alone! *aka. become sweatshop laborers*

  33. coffeebot | 11:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The Commercial Zone is for plunging and sea bath only.

  34. DragonLady | 2:53 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 1  

    I did not approve these rules.
    –The Swimming Beard

  35. Brian | 4:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I wish we could see all of rule 6 — “Should succour each other v… find… someone drowned… report to personnel in time.”

    So: if you find a floating corpse, comfort one another. But don’t waste too much time before you report it.

  36. ngyonghan | 5:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 1  

    Should I bring along my swimming beard there? 😀

  37. MrEndo | 12:00 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    From the people who made “go into the toilet beard know”, comes the greatest warning sign of all time…

  38. Kburchfiel | 2:59 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I feel like the shark had a hand in these instructions . . .

  39. jt | 8:40 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I think it’s ‘Should succour each other while finding someone drowned, {please?} report to personnel in time.’

  40. jappie | 1:35 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Swimmers aware there are many “lone” sharks in the commercial sea.

  41. Seventy2rd o clock | 12:49 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    There are some leaves hiding the lower part of the beard. Otherwise everything is perfectly clear.

    Btw one of the best Engrishes….!!!

  42. sparky8367 | 12:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I don’t suffer from heart disease but I do live with the uncomfortable one.

  43. Jerome | 9:34 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Report to the Baidu-owned rescue personnel a drowning in time: i.e. whenever you care. While the poor victim dies in the year 2063. Drowning “in time”, get it?

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