Swim and Must Know at Sea
posted on 30 Jun 2011 in Chinglish
Photo courtesy of Conny Kulinna.
Sign at small beach in Zhujiajian, China.
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Be a designated dyke – because friends don’t let friends plunge drunk.
I saw a blonde in the Shark’s network area and I tried to succour each other but I was too busy fighting off the sharks.
The residential sea has a lower requirement. You can drink, plunge and swim with no consequences.
Read and must know at gobbledeegook
Must be a worry when the sharks circle in the designated dyke.
If you suffer from The Uncomfortable One, we may be able to help.
Ask your doctor if the Shark Network is right for you.
I had a happy plunge until suffering an uncomfortable one….
In the Shareware sea you only get Sea Bath Management as an add on.
God forbid I should get drunk and plunge in to the commercial sea! Everyone knows that that’s the reason we have non-profit seas!
If suffering an out-of-network shark attack roaming charges may apply.
This commercialization and privatization craze has gone too far, that last shark had “Brought To You By Do Do Coffee” written on it’s side.
So what would be an example of a “lifesaving appliance”? A defibrillator? I’m not sure that would work well at sea, even in a shallow water district. And if I ever did require the assistance of a defibrillator, I definitely wouldn’t want it allocated by a beginner.
A Shark Network Area, finally a networking technology that works well underwater.
Dykes, Sharks and Drunks… sounds like a typical day at the office.
What this sign actually says, is that the people who wrote it were drunk. As if that wasn’t obvious enough.
Following regulations I followed the regulations, in spite of having a chronic heart attack.
Must know… to choose between shark attack and heart attack.
Swimming dyke must know plugging into the commercial network area!
When being attacked by sharks it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.
If you swim in the commercial sea without paying, does that make me a pirate?
The persons who get drunk generally forbid nothing except last call.
I’ve heard of a Designate Drive, but never a designate dyke. Is that someone who pretends to be gay and keeps they guys away?
Help! Help! I’m drowning! Somebody… quick… activate the lifesaving appliance!
“Visitors must swim in shark’s network area…”.
“The persons who get drunk forbid plunging into the commercial sea…”.
Sorry, I don’t go into any place where sharks and drunks make the rules.
Children should not plunge into the commercial sea at all. It might give them ADHD.
That was the river; this is the commercial sea.
No sir, this is the residents area. Your area is over there where all the fins are circling in the water. Please have a good time visiting our country.
It’s fun to charter an accountant / and sail the wide commercial sea. / To find, explore, the funds offshore, / and network with something toothy …
I asked for a lifesaving appliance but the washer/dryer combo really didn’t help.
The children can’t plunge into the commercial sea alone because they have to guard the adults? Not a very kid-friendly beach!
“Life’s A Beach” will return after this commercial sea break: Are naked beach apes causing a commotion in you, the ocean? Are they getting drunk at night and plunging into you without a designated dyke? Are the uncomfortable one relieving their “discomfort” in your nice clean waters? Then you need the Shark’s Network! Yes, these specially-trained sharks will form a net-like barrier in your shallow water district and keep those beach apes at BAY (get it?) And now back to our show!
Oh, the plight of the children! The adults always fail to guard, leaving them with no choice but to plunge into the commercial sea and swim alone! *aka. become sweatshop laborers*
The Commercial Zone is for plunging and sea bath only.
I did not approve these rules.
–The Swimming Beard
I wish we could see all of rule 6 — “Should succour each other v… find… someone drowned… report to personnel in time.”
So: if you find a floating corpse, comfort one another. But don’t waste too much time before you report it.
Should I bring along my swimming beard there?
From the people who made “go into the toilet beard know”, comes the greatest warning sign of all time…
I feel like the shark had a hand in these instructions . . .
I think it’s ‘Should succour each other while finding someone drowned, {please?} report to personnel in time.’
Swimmers aware there are many “lone” sharks in the commercial sea.
There are some leaves hiding the lower part of the beard. Otherwise everything is perfectly clear.
Btw one of the best Engrishes….!!!