Standard Bond-villain desk control panel

posted on 28 Jul 2011 in Chinglish

Affection, infection, reflection, rejection.


Photo courtesy of G pan.
Hotel console panel found in Gui Lin China.
Supposed to say “recessed lights in ceiling”.

46 captions

  1. JohnZ | 4:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 33  Subtract rating 1  

    I won’t tell you my evil plans with that mirrorr, herrr Bond!

  2. faulty wiring | 4:16 am |   106   0  

    Following the eradication of smallpox from general circulation in 1979, only three sites were officially sanctioned to retain viral particles for peaceful research purposes. They were: CDC, Atlanta, Georgia, USA; The Vector Institute, Novosibirsk, Siberia, Russia; & Rooms 20-60, The Holiday Inn, Gui Lin, China.

  3. faulty wiring | 4:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 52  Subtract rating 2  

    Would you turn down the bed and call the service desk? I can’t get the floor to work.

  4. SF | 4:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 1  

    For pox call the reception.

  5. Algernon | 4:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 1  

    Press the button and out comes the vial

  6. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 18  Subtract rating 0  

    NOTE: In case there’s no floor, use the ladder and turn on the fourth switch from the left.

  7. Eduard | 4:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 2  

    Commencing smallpox self-destruct sequence in 10, 9, ……

  8. jjhitt | 4:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 47  Subtract rating 1  

    All of a sudden that Checkout 10 Noon place doesn’t sound so bad.

  9. jjhitt | 4:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 24  Subtract rating 1  

    Room Service, one body bag, please.

  10. FatKenney | 4:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 19  Subtract rating 0  

    “Hello, room service? Can I get a virulent strain of anthrax to room 413 please?”

  11. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 0  

    If there’s smallpox shortage, please notify the hotel personnel immediately.

  12. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 31  Subtract rating 0  

    A bed with adjustable volume?

  13. DrLex | 4:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 24  Subtract rating 3  

    This bed goes all the way to 11.

  14. Peter | 5:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Smallpox, small pucks…easy mistake to make.

  15. xila31 | 6:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 61  Subtract rating 1  

    This is only a 4 star hotel. At a 5 star hotel you get the black plague.

  16. Seventy2rd o clock | 6:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 27  Subtract rating 1  

    No ‘BATH TYRANT’ button?!

  17. Chris | 7:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 17  Subtract rating 0  

    Let’s see you get out of this one, Mr. Bond.

  18. Lora | 7:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 18  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ve heard of things going “viral” on the internet, but this is ridiculous!

  19. Kitsune | 7:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 23  Subtract rating 0  

    That explains the vaccine in the micro fridge.

  20. Seventy2rd o clock | 8:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 4  

    CAUTION: There’s absolutely no need to turn on the SMALLPOX button if you already suffer from any kind of known or unknown fatal disease(s) or if you intend to pass away in near future. Don’t forget about other guests who are tired and want to find peace here!

  21. jjhitt | 10:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    I can remember when the coin operated Magic Fingers bed was a big deal.

  22. Michael | 1:05 pm |  Vote: Add rating 19  Subtract rating 0  

    A scene from “The Man with the Golden Bedknob.”

  23. Darth Na'vi | 2:32 pm |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    Commenters outdid themselves today. Full five points.

  24. Eccekio | 4:27 pm |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 1  

    I am verry much in favourr of yourr mirrorr..

  25. Eccekio | 4:28 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 2  

    Iff you can’t find sie floor you vill hav to sleep on the ceiling.

  26. Pete | 4:38 pm |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 1  

    A pox on your console!

  27. Pete | 4:40 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 1  

    The hotel for discriminating suicidals, rendering Dr. Kevorkian’s inventions obsolete!

  28. Eccekio | 6:23 pm |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 1  

    Floor must remain on at all times

  29. fifi | 6:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 1  

    Aw man, have you got the spare viruses? The smallpox switch is broken again. Also, the floor keeps disappearing, what’s that all about?

  30. fifi | 6:59 pm |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    seriously, how can a translation error be that drastic?

  31. Eccekio | 9:52 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 1  

    A pox on both your consoles

  32. Seventy2rd o clock | 12:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    ‘I’m sick of the smallpox dear, it’s been turned on since yesterday morning.’

  33. C Lee | 9:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll pass on the small pox thank you very much.

  34. Ratz | 10:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    I guess a bit just got left off.. 天花板 means ceiling whilst 天花 means small pox.

  35. atom john | 5:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    how come the person posting this picture was only brave enough to turn on the floor switch??

  36. alexmagnus | 6:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Well, 天花 is smallpox, isn’t it? http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%A4%A9%E8%8A%B1

  37. Tharthan | 9:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    「天花板」 is floor. 「天花」is smallpox.

  38. sloanstar | 4:44 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    don’t do it! remember what happened last time?

  39. Perseus | 3:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t turn on the floor or we’ll go back in time.

  40. jorge | 10:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    “Hello, Receptionist… yes… there’s been a mistake, i booked the room with the Large Pox…”

  41. Jack | 11:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    天花板 actually means ceiling, not floor

  42. Nix | 8:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    5-Star pox on a plate….. but it’s the floor I come here for.

  43. Aglovale1 | 8:08 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Yeah, but this bed goes to eleven…

  44. ron | 8:09 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    hahahahahahahaha… bed can increase size? smallpox for self destruct? … floor – special escape for villains… hahahahahhaah

  45. ArallaHiney | 1:44 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I like how the surface has been polished to a high gloss…

  46. ArallaHiney | 1:44 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I like how the surface has been polished to a high gloss…

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