I’m glad they have an Engrish menu…

posted on 5 Aug 2011 in Chinglish, Menus


Photo courtesy of John Perry.
Menu found in Nanning, China.

64 captions

  1. JohnZ | 4:07 am |

    Those halogen intestines really shine in this menu!

  2. jjhitt | 4:11 am |

    Who needs ninjas when you have Dutch cowboys?

  3. DrLex | 4:12 am |

    The taste turkey approves of this menu, even though it is annoyed.

  4. jjhitt | 4:12 am |

    If this is Christmas, I can not wait to see what the Halloween menu is like.

  5. jjhitt | 4:19 am |

    “American west cold beefsteak” … out here on the lonesome prairie, that’s what we calls leftovers.

  6. DrLex | 4:20 am |

    The milk-fish platoon, led by Niu Banjian, first spell roasts the turkey. It is then buried and eventually dug up by the Dutch cowboys. It all makes perfect sense.

  7. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:20 am |

    Mmmmm, Christmassy Chinesely!

  8. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:26 am |

    ‘Waiter, give me three human of shares menu – but I want three American cowboys to share!’

  9. Algernon | 4:35 am |

    Starts with shining intestines and ens with a mystical gift. Brightens up my day.

  10. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:40 am |

    Meat is murder. But this menu is a massacre.

  11. FatKenney | 5:09 am |

    Everybody’s casting spells to roast these turkeys – the Dutch cowboys, the milk-fish platoon, and Niu Banjian. Doesn’t anybody use a good, old-fashioned oven anymore?

  12. FatKenney | 5:10 am |

    Mystical gift – “Merry Christmas, here’s your griffin.”

  13. jjhitt | 5:15 am |

    @FatKenney: They could use a Dutch oven.

  14. FatKenney | 5:18 am |

    Dutch cowboy – Bucky Johansen

  15. FatKenney | 5:31 am |

    Note to customers: All meals must be shared only with humans. Absolutely no doggie bags.

  16. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:33 am |

    ‘Mommy! I see dead people!’

  17. Classic Steve | 6:06 am |

    That platoon *must* be tricky if it knows how to milk a fish.

  18. Classic Steve | 6:08 am |

    “My Niu Banjian casts Fire Level 3 on the turkey.” “The turkey is defeated! Your reward is black pepper juice.”

  19. Lisa | 6:12 am |

    Can’t believe I’m the first to post this, but, “Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra Ra-ra-ra-ra!”

  20. Seventy2rd o clock | 6:14 am |

    Hey, my fungus juice went berserk!!

  21. xila31 | 6:20 am |

    Do the Dutch cowboys dig up the turkey fresh at your table, or is it is imported?

  22. Chuck | 6:55 am |

    Magical Mystery Meal.

  23. Rizka | 7:35 am |

    Funny menu. Now, is there any human who I can share laughter with?

  24. jjhitt | 8:04 am |

    ♫ Oh, give me a home where the tricky milk-fish roam,
    Where the dikes and the tulips play.. ♫

  25. Aladdin | 8:05 am |

    Manhattan Clam soup … i did not know that, is Manhattan a castle or something ?

  26. Kitsune | 8:07 am |

    More of Bender’s cooking?

  27. Eccekio | 9:39 am |

    Can I have menu A? After three cups of red wine, I’m wiling to share anything I have with anyone.

  28. Eccekio | 9:43 am |

    Halogen intestines?? Are those, those little wire things that stick in your teeth, that are inside a halogen lamp?

  29. Eccekio | 9:46 am |

    I’d say it was “Table d hote”. But I wouldn’t in Engrish.

  30. Seventy2rd o clock | 9:47 am |

    I personally prefer cold turkey over excavated one.

  31. Bob | 9:48 am |

    I may be wrong, but i think “niu” means “beef,” and “ban jian” is a type of bean paste used as a flavoring or condiment. Not that this makes the menu any clearer…

  32. GwydionM | 10:44 am |

    More than three humans getting out of shares as the stock market slides. Blame it on the Cream Bacon Pumpkin soup, they should have waited till Halloween

  33. Lord Pengwyn | 12:39 pm |

    @fatkenney dude, Johansen is NOT a Dutch name… You’re going to make the Dutch Cowboys dig up spell and roast you!

  34. ribbonleaf | 1:48 pm |

    I guess someone needs dime bags to come up with something as cool and funny as Dutch cowboys…

  35. Darth Na'vi | 1:56 pm |

    My ancestors were Dutch cowboys, but they didn’t stop by China on the way over.

  36. Big Fat Cat | 2:40 pm |

    The chinese like to pirate everything. They even stole the menu from Hogwarts.

  37. J | 2:54 pm |

    What part of the cream does bacon come from? Must be one of them Amsterdam Old West secretes.

  38. RT | 3:42 pm |

    i didn’t know dutch cowboys practiced sorcery and witchcraft.

  39. HardRockMark | 5:54 pm |

    The fungus juice is very wild. Dont say we didnt warn you.

  40. Seventy2rd o clock | 11:58 pm |

    ”Mr. Niu Banjian spells ‘roasts the turkey’ – correctly! Congratulations Mr. Banjian, you’re the winner of today’s cuisine quiz. The second place belongs to Mr. Dutch cowboy, who spelled…”

  41. rextrex | 8:12 am |

    Just can’t remember anymore whether my mom roasted her turkey using black pepper juice or wild fungus juice

  42. aa | 9:41 am |

    reminds me of two girls one shares

  43. A Non-Y Mouse | 6:16 am |

    If you don’t like your meal return it for a full refund, but keep the mystical gift!

  44. jjhitt | 6:42 am |

    Jimmy states his possession of turnips is for peaceful, non-military uses.
    Susie’s intelligence reports claim otherwise.

  45. Tom P. | 9:36 am |

    On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me; a halogensalad shining bright-ly
    On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me; green pepper turkey and a halogensalad….
    On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me; lots of fungus juice, green pepper turkey, and a halogensalad….
    On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me; Four mystical gifts, lots of fungus juice…
    On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me; Five Dutch Cowboys…..

  46. Rob | 8:27 am |

    Dutch Cowboys! I wish I knew how to quit you!

  47. Wing A Wong Number | 11:26 am |

    The mystical gift is cholera

  48. Mike | 7:17 pm |

    I would guess the wild fungus juice is really a mushroom sauce, and the cowboy is usually veal . No clue on most of the others.

  49. Ric | 4:41 am |

    What I read just did? menu tasteless stuff fridge monster have shoes in oven, like man in bin.

  50. Ani | 10:16 pm |

    ♫ Some people call me the Dutch Cowboy, some call me the Gangster of Love. Some people call me Maurice, ‘coz I speak, of the Halogen of Love…♫

  51. Camy | 1:14 am |

    Oh, I can’t stop laughing! This menu is mystical!

  52. DragonLady | 2:56 pm |

    Waiter, please bring me the Dutch cowboy on the left. Looks like he’s been well-hung in the meat locker.

  53. muroo | 3:02 pm |

    The part I love is that “Mystical Gift” seems so properly (possibly) translated compared to the rest…

  54. Nix | 7:48 am |

    Non-Monogamy Menu – I prefer 3-man human share me . I bring mystery gift.

  55. dlagonrady | 7:28 pm |

    mystical gift possible in toiret??

  56. FreddyHowell | 11:58 am |

    You need to have a mystical gift to understand it.

  57. Tina Anderson | 12:08 am |

    I agree with JohnZ. The halogen intestines sold me on the menu!

  58. Tommyjoebilly | 1:15 pm |

    Yes, 3 shares of human, please?

  59. Julie | 4:39 am |

    I’m going to have to go with A. And can I get the red wine with 3 cups right away please???

  60. Julie | 4:42 am |

    Just what kind of spell did those Dutch cowboys go and dig up? And does it have anything to do with the mystical gifts?

  61. brbr | 5:16 am |

    Just give me the tuna, I’ll skip everything else

  62. ArallaHiney | 1:46 pm |

    I forgot how to butter my meal package….

  63. Shane | 10:11 am |

    The Dutch cowboy dig up spell no thank you.

  64. Machine | 6:32 pm |

    Three human of shares cost 278 pi here? They usually cost 8 factorial.

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