Passive Aggressive Engrish

A minute more and we’ll charge you double.

Or we’ll tell Chuck Norris to be gentle with you.

…because that’s when your egg roll is set to detonate.

…because otherwise it will dislike you for 48h, and it won’t be gentle

Or your ass will be on the menu.

Or else, we will help you gentlely like the Peking ducks. For details, please check on information how Peking ducks are fed.

…and then I suggest a 30% tip, if you know what’s good for you.

Literally:

A Warm/Gentle/Fragrant Notice/Reminder
Consumption of Food Please Do After Purchasing 2 Hours Within Eat.

You better enjoy it or Vinny will break your legs.

… and be sure to take the cannoli with you.

My God, that’s Moose Turd Pie!

It’s good tho.

OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don’t finish in two hours, we force it down your throat.

A rough reminder: Please, don’t hurt us! Right now!

Sir, we need time… gotcha?

After 2 hours our gentleness wears off. You have been warned.

This message will self destruct.

Sir you have been here for 2 hours and 1 minute. We are going to need you to order again.

You’d better enjoy your meal in 2 hours…because you’ll be “enjoying” the porcelin throne in three…

If I have to wait 2 hours at a restaurant it had better be the most enjoyable meal ever!

You go NOW. Why you here two hours?

And if you don’t enjoy your meal in 2 hours, we’ll give you WAAAY more hours! And we totally mean it! Duh!

An abrasive reminder:

If we don’t enjoy the meal you will have to refund us double the price.

*cue fox’s 24’s tv-style montage of clock ticking*

Time is money! Every diner is a loiterer!

A gentle reminder: WE’LL KILL YOU if you don’t eat it in 2 hrs !!

I guessed the food is served in polystyrene containers. If kept for longer than two hours, much harmful chemicals from the polystyrene would have diffused into the food, rendering it toxic. So, you’d better enjoy the food within two hours!

….bitch!!!

Enjoy your meal in two hours or ve vill haf vays of making you.

Thank you, Warden, but I’m still enjoying my last meal.

We won’t be so gentle after 2 hours!

or no dessert for you!

that is the meal you will come back for, since the you’ll be hungry again.

In three hours, you get a forceful reminder.

I know, I know–it’s the hose again.

This sounds like something GLaDOS would say.

A gentle reminder: You’d better enjoy your food in two hours, or else there will be a bad mark on your permanent record, followed by death.

Chew Slowly. Very, Very Slowly. We need people in here to make us look busy.

because we have vely expensive pay toiretts!

AND NO TAKEAWAYS!

… for it will be your last. Have nice day.

Reminder … because you may have forgotten the appropriate time period for enjoying meal.

Pffffff some people can’t even enjoy their meal…
I don’t recognize this planet anymore.

And remember- everything is better served cold, kids!

…’Cause if you don’t, I’m going to whack you out.