Bonzo, the Insult Comic Monkey

posted on 20 Oct 2011 in Chinglish

Photo courtesy of Jared Sutton.
Found in China.

46 captions

  1. Big Fat Cat | 4:02 am |

    The monkey likes smoking cigars and using foul languages. Stay Away from him.

  2. SF | 4:07 am |

    WARNING: This monkey may engage in activities not suitable for all ages and temperaments.

  3. DrLex | 4:17 am |

    Please do not ask who the monkey offends. We do not know.

  4. FatKenney | 4:17 am |

    The views expressed by this simian do not necessarily reflect those of this zoo or its staff.

  5. faulty wiring | 4:19 am |

    Every effort has been taken to ensure that our monkeys are kept in enclosures that replicate their native environment as closely as possible. Despite this, some ungrateful monkeys may cause offense by masturbating continuously & flinging faeces at oggling guests. We deeply apologise in advance for any offence this inexplicable behaviour may cause.

  6. FatKenney | 4:19 am |

    Back home in America someone got offended too. Now we can’t have monkeys. 🙁

  7. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:21 am |

    I’m not afraid because it makes me danger!

  8. JohnZ | 4:22 am |

    Monkeys love monkey business, that makes sense.

  9. DrLex | 4:23 am |

    Warning: monkey may consider you a nice human… for him to poop on.

  10. jjhitt | 4:25 am |

    Enjoy your visit at Politically Correct Zoological Park.

  11. Algernon | 4:28 am |

    Its all because of monkeys. pleaes be afraid

  12. jjhitt | 4:30 am |

    Like I always say, the best defense is an offensive monkey,

  13. Peter | 4:32 am |

    Ok, point taken. But I’m not just somebody.

  14. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:37 am |

    ”Darling, I think the monkey over there just flipped me the bird.”

  15. FatKenney | 4:41 am |

    …and don’t even THINK about visiting those nasty wallabies.

  16. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:49 am |

    That’s called evolution. But it’s still better than being offended by neanderthals.

  17. spare ocean | 6:02 am |

    “The monkey is offending somebody. Please do not approach”

    Yeah. There’s a line, moron. Wait for your turn.

  18. Dervrak | 6:02 am |

    Monkey! I find your silly simian antics and the fact that you play with your own feces highly offensive! You had better shape up or it’s zoo sensitivity training for you!

  19. coffeebot | 6:24 am |

    Can’t get no respect…
    because of monkeys

  20. Seventy2rd o clock | 6:36 am |

    NOTE: Piease take intensive care to offended person, or it will miserably and miserably and miserably! die.

  21. Lora | 6:54 am |

    Instead of “ethnic” jokes, this monkey likes to tell “human” jokes, which may offend somebody. Here are just a few:

    -How can you tell if a human has something on his mind? When he wears a hat!
    -How do you make a human’s eyes light up? Stick a flashlight in his mouth!
    -I once knew a human who was so ugly he when he looked in the mirror his reflection threw up!

    If you think that’s bad, you should hear his “elephant” jokes…

  22. Chris | 7:16 am |

    @ Lora: Here’s an elephant joke…

    Q: What did the elephant say to the naked guy?
    A: Jeez, how do you breathe through a little thing like that?

  23. GwydionM | 7:43 am |

    This monkey will be ostracised until it says sorry to the person it offended

  24. Kitsune | 8:04 am |

    Is this one of those red ass monkeys I’ve heard about?

  25. mamab | 9:28 am |

    Let’s t-shirt!

  26. DECMATH | 9:30 am |

    “You’re such a cute kid. For me to fling poop at!”

  27. Common Bulrush | 9:46 am |

    Piease don’t approach. The monkey is currentiy offending somebody and you might disturb it..

  28. Michael | 9:51 am |

    In Soviet China, the monkey shocks YOU!

  29. Jay | 10:33 am |

    So that’s where Don Rickles ended up. (Sorry, I’m showing my age.)

  30. Seventy2rd o clock | 10:43 am |

    It must be that four-letter word…

  31. Classic Steve | 11:12 am |

    “Macaque” is not spelled that way….

  32. Bill Gates | 11:54 am |

    Ask not for whom the monkey offends. He offends for thee.

    But it’ll cost ya.

  33. Bill Gates | 11:57 am |

    When the monkey is finished offending somebody, then it’s your turn. Pricing available upon request.

  34. Nonsuch Ned | 12:08 pm |

    Hello chap, would you fancy a spot of tea?

    Well, I NEVER!

  35. Ralph Hamilton | 1:01 pm |

    I wanta go to a Zoo where I get to fling s–t at the monkeys.

  36. mickeygreeneyes | 5:00 pm |

    Long ago the monkey have lost his Gillette Right Guard. That why he offends == real bad, bady! So approach at you risk unhappy.

  37. J | 6:35 pm |

    “So tell me lady is that your face or is my ass up in a mirror?!!! No, but seriously, your a good sport, for me to throw poop on!!!!”
    “I’ll be here all week folks…they got me locked in…but at least it keeps me away from my ex-wife!”

  38. Jeff | 12:15 pm |

    Spank that monkey!

  39. Sam | 8:50 am |

    must be libertarian… they’re always offending somebody

  40. jack | 10:40 am |

    this monkey is the president of america. no wonder he offends people

  41. tri24la | 5:48 am |

    Please do not approach until we find out who the monkey offends.

  42. Rooibos | 12:29 am |

    “The higher the monkey climbs, the more he shows his ass.” — Ancient Zulu proverb

  43. anonymouse | 8:18 am |

    Wait for your turn.

  44. sparky | 5:25 pm |

    Spank that Monkey!!!!

  45. the chosen one | 10:24 pm |

    you rude boy

  46. LTC JRB | 12:57 pm |

    supposed to be:

    “My MOTHER is a WHAT?”

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