Earl Brown Tea

posted on 30 Nov 2011 in Chinglish, Drinks

Yuki fired her agent immediately after the modeling session…

Photo courtesy of Melissa Reeves.
Tea imported from China. 

56 captions

  1. faulty wiring | 4:24 am |

    Mmmm! Nothing better to start the day than the flavour of steaming defecation!

  2. dangevin | 4:30 am |

    Caution: lower trousers before raising spirits.

  3. faulty wiring | 4:32 am |

    Now I’m wondering how they market their ‘sanitary items’…no sleep tonight!!!

  4. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:46 am |

    Instruction Manual for Healthy Tea Drinking (Director’s Cup):

    1. Tea drinking
    2. Defecating
    3. Reading Instruction Manual for Healthy Tea Drinking, feeling yourself at the toilet
    4. ‘Cup!’

    NOTE: The hot water power is very strong. Please testeep first.

  5. Eccekio | 4:46 am |

    Yes indeed! The “Ring of Fire” passes right through Japan.

  6. faulty wiring | 4:53 am |

    A trick I’ve learnt over the years is to remove all clothing encumbering my rear BEFORE making myself comfortable. Still, I suppose if your ‘doings’ are tea-flavoured then the residual smell may actually be quite pleasant…

  7. FatKenney | 4:57 am |

    “One lump or two?”

  8. FatKenney | 5:01 am |

    When I ordered “one hot tea to go” this isn’t exactly what I meant.

  9. Big Fat Cat | 5:03 am |

    All Hilton Hotel serves Paris Hilton’s specialty brand.

  10. Terri | 5:08 am |

    Any toilet activity that involves a toilet, me, bright liquor and fragrant aromas usually has me facing the other way, holding my hair up and on my knees.

  11. Zizzybalooba | 5:08 am |

    Long Hai is what you end up with after drinking this tea.

  12. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:10 am |

    Toilet photo on a tea package might also raise some questions, not only spirits…

  13. Tong | 6:03 am |

    I don’t like tea, it gives me the sh*ts!

  14. YYD | 6:25 am |

    Actual translation of the Chinese text:
    This product soothes the body and mind, cools and nourishes the lungs, takes care of the liver and is good for the bladder, clears the colons and clears irritations, removes residue stool, expels toxins, prevents disease and not only clears and nourishes the gastrointestinal tracts, removes poisons and enlivens your visage, also has weight loss effect, this product can be drunk by average people, long time use can make people protect colons, skins smooth and tender, (four characters blocked by Engrish.com watermark).

  15. DrLex | 6:49 am |

    Warning: do not combine with the “Defecation Easy – Granules” (see Nov. 24th). The resulting effects will not raise your spirit.

  16. Dervrak | 6:55 am |

    Who would have thought it possible, now food poisoning is a selling point. On a side note, I must have gotten some “defecation taco’s” at the local taco joint last night

  17. Pedro | 7:01 am |

    Waiter! This tea tastes like $hit !

    Ah, Sir. I see you have discovered our Defecation brand tea.

  18. Ben | 7:30 am |

    Tea for (number) two.

  19. Kitsune | 7:41 am |

    What’s sad is the advertisement makes it clear that this isn’t a typo or a mistake, apparently the tea really is a laxative.

  20. Chris | 7:53 am |

    looks like someone drank a $hitload of this tea…

  21. Michael | 8:02 am |

    I switched from decaf to defec!

  22. jjhitt | 8:24 am |

    @Kitsune: This is the only thing ginseng tea really is good for.

  23. Classic Steve | 8:29 am |

    This message was dictated. The “eep” in “testeep” occurred when someone came in and shrieked at the product.

  24. Kitsune | 9:03 am |

    Normal tea just makes me pee.

  25. jjhitt | 9:24 am |

    First I find brains in my coco pops, now I got this crap in my tea.
    I really need to find a better hotel.

  26. Peter Chan | 9:27 am |

    YYD . . . the “four characters blocked by Engrish.com watermark” literally translates as “prolongs and enhances your life”.

    Why not, if one could testeep and defecate for 3 minrtes per day under state-of-the art techmiques ^_^

  27. demondude777 | 9:43 am |

    Is it bad if I say I still want to hit it?

  28. Seventy2rd o clock | 9:48 am |

    Also called ‘Engrish Toilet Tea’

  29. Michael | 10:41 am |

    T(ea) is for toilet

  30. Buzz Killington | 11:34 am |

    “Pour in boiling water and teste…” –
    So THAT”S what ‘tea-bagging’ is… think I will pass on that!

  31. Seventy2rd o clock | 11:35 am |

    – Waiter, I would like a Defecation Tea, please.
    – Just turn left and walk backwards to the toilet, Sir.

  32. Flaregun | 11:53 am |

    Actually, I *wish* this was Engrish, but it seems to just be a grammatically correct example of Japan being weird.

  33. Lora | 11:53 am |

    Well, tea must be healthy since the Chinese drink a lot of it and there’s a billion of them! :-)

  34. A Non-Y Mouse | 1:23 pm |

    Holy crap, this is good tea!

  35. coffeebot | 2:07 pm |

    can’t decide between Poolong or Brown Pekoe

  36. Hugh | 2:25 pm |

    More pee vicar?

  37. Hugh | 2:30 pm |

    More pee vicar?!

  38. Chris | 2:43 pm |

    @ Flaregun: Yeah-you should check out some of the Japanese porn.

  39. Xila31 | 6:16 pm |

    The first ever toilet-tea

  40. Jøsh | 7:25 pm |

    I like her expression of “Whoa dude!” The tea must be doing the trick.

  41. I'mHalfEngrish | 10:47 pm |

    Captain Picard: What–this isn’t what I ordered from the replicator!

  42. I'm Half Engrish | 10:50 pm |

    Captain Picard: Tea. Earl Brown. Hot.

    Make it so, Number Two!

  43. Algernon | 2:36 am |

    I’ve heard of coffee from civet cats but this is rediculous

  44. Grifter | 9:08 am |

    Another crappy tea advertisement?!?

  45. Mike D. | 11:25 am |

    Not exactly engrish, but a delight none the less!

  46. Zofo | 1:31 am |

    Crappiest tea ever!

  47. Inspect Her Gadget | 7:36 am |

    HOLY DEFECATION…that chick is hot!!

  48. ...Brick Road | 10:28 pm |

    I think this is the first Engrish post that actually DOESN’T need a caption :)

  49. sowsearsoup | 10:18 am |

    Did that say to tea bag after testeep?

  50. Mark | 5:14 pm |

    I only drink tea that’s processed and packed under scientific techmiques.

  51. ArallaHiney | 2:17 pm |

    Warning: only use in JRPG!

  52. :D | 1:10 pm |

    …..And that’s where tea comes from kids!

  53. Bill | 5:14 pm |

    Two girls – one cup!

  54. Bill | 5:15 pm |

    Teabagging services provided upon request

  55. BigD25 | 2:55 am |

    Long Hai Tea,
    catch up on some reading!

  56. Dave | 6:51 am |

    She must be reading “50 Shades of Brown”

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