Earl Brown Tea

posted on 30 Nov 2011 in Chinglish, Drinks

Yuki fired her agent immediately after the modeling session…

Photo courtesy of Melissa Reeves.
Tea imported from China. 

56 captions

  1. faulty wiring | 4:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Mmmm! Nothing better to start the day than the flavour of steaming defecation!

  2. dangevin | 4:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Caution: lower trousers before raising spirits.

  3. faulty wiring | 4:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Now I’m wondering how they market their ‘sanitary items’…no sleep tonight!!!

  4. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Instruction Manual for Healthy Tea Drinking (Director’s Cup):

    1. Tea drinking
    2. Defecating
    3. Reading Instruction Manual for Healthy Tea Drinking, feeling yourself at the toilet
    4. ‘Cup!’

    NOTE: The hot water power is very strong. Please testeep first.

  5. Eccekio | 4:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Yes indeed! The “Ring of Fire” passes right through Japan.

  6. faulty wiring | 4:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    A trick I’ve learnt over the years is to remove all clothing encumbering my rear BEFORE making myself comfortable. Still, I suppose if your ‘doings’ are tea-flavoured then the residual smell may actually be quite pleasant…

  7. FatKenney | 4:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “One lump or two?”

  8. FatKenney | 5:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    When I ordered “one hot tea to go” this isn’t exactly what I meant.

  9. Big Fat Cat | 5:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    All Hilton Hotel serves Paris Hilton’s specialty brand.

  10. Terri | 5:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Any toilet activity that involves a toilet, me, bright liquor and fragrant aromas usually has me facing the other way, holding my hair up and on my knees.

  11. Zizzybalooba | 5:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Long Hai is what you end up with after drinking this tea.

  12. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Toilet photo on a tea package might also raise some questions, not only spirits…

  13. Tong | 6:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I don’t like tea, it gives me the sh*ts!

  14. YYD | 6:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Actual translation of the Chinese text:
    This product soothes the body and mind, cools and nourishes the lungs, takes care of the liver and is good for the bladder, clears the colons and clears irritations, removes residue stool, expels toxins, prevents disease and not only clears and nourishes the gastrointestinal tracts, removes poisons and enlivens your visage, also has weight loss effect, this product can be drunk by average people, long time use can make people protect colons, skins smooth and tender, (four characters blocked by Engrish.com watermark).

  15. DrLex | 6:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Warning: do not combine with the “Defecation Easy – Granules” (see Nov. 24th). The resulting effects will not raise your spirit.

  16. Dervrak | 6:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Who would have thought it possible, now food poisoning is a selling point. On a side note, I must have gotten some “defecation taco’s” at the local taco joint last night

  17. Pedro | 7:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Waiter! This tea tastes like $hit !

    Ah, Sir. I see you have discovered our Defecation brand tea.

  18. Ben | 7:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Tea for (number) two.

  19. Kitsune | 7:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    What’s sad is the advertisement makes it clear that this isn’t a typo or a mistake, apparently the tea really is a laxative.

  20. Chris | 7:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    looks like someone drank a $hitload of this tea…

  21. Michael | 8:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I switched from decaf to defec!

  22. jjhitt | 8:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    @Kitsune: This is the only thing ginseng tea really is good for.

  23. Classic Steve | 8:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This message was dictated. The “eep” in “testeep” occurred when someone came in and shrieked at the product.

  24. Kitsune | 9:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Normal tea just makes me pee.

  25. jjhitt | 9:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    First I find brains in my coco pops, now I got this crap in my tea.
    I really need to find a better hotel.

  26. Peter Chan | 9:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    YYD . . . the “four characters blocked by Engrish.com watermark” literally translates as “prolongs and enhances your life”.

    Why not, if one could testeep and defecate for 3 minrtes per day under state-of-the art techmiques ^_^

  27. demondude777 | 9:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Is it bad if I say I still want to hit it?

  28. Seventy2rd o clock | 9:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Also called ‘Engrish Toilet Tea’

  29. Michael | 10:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    T(ea) is for toilet

  30. Buzz Killington | 11:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Pour in boiling water and teste…” -
    So THAT”S what ‘tea-bagging’ is… think I will pass on that!

  31. Seventy2rd o clock | 11:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    - Waiter, I would like a Defecation Tea, please.
    - Just turn left and walk backwards to the toilet, Sir.

  32. Flaregun | 11:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Actually, I *wish* this was Engrish, but it seems to just be a grammatically correct example of Japan being weird.

  33. Lora | 11:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Well, tea must be healthy since the Chinese drink a lot of it and there’s a billion of them! :-)

  34. A Non-Y Mouse | 1:23 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Holy crap, this is good tea!

  35. coffeebot | 2:07 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    can’t decide between Poolong or Brown Pekoe

  36. Hugh | 2:25 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    More pee vicar?

  37. Hugh | 2:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    More pee vicar?!

  38. Chris | 2:43 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @ Flaregun: Yeah-you should check out some of the Japanese porn.

  39. Xila31 | 6:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The first ever toilet-tea

  40. Jøsh | 7:25 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I like her expression of “Whoa dude!” The tea must be doing the trick.

  41. I'mHalfEngrish | 10:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Captain Picard: What–this isn’t what I ordered from the replicator!

  42. I'm Half Engrish | 10:50 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Captain Picard: Tea. Earl Brown. Hot.

    Make it so, Number Two!

  43. Algernon | 2:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ve heard of coffee from civet cats but this is rediculous

  44. Grifter | 9:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Another crappy tea advertisement?!?

  45. Mike D. | 11:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Not exactly engrish, but a delight none the less!

  46. Zofo | 1:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Crappiest tea ever!

  47. Inspect Her Gadget | 7:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    HOLY DEFECATION…that chick is hot!!

  48. ...Brick Road | 10:28 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I think this is the first Engrish post that actually DOESN’T need a caption :)

  49. sowsearsoup | 10:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Did that say to tea bag after testeep?

  50. Mark | 5:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I only drink tea that’s processed and packed under scientific techmiques.

  51. ArallaHiney | 2:17 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Warning: only use in JRPG!

  52. :D | 1:10 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    …..And that’s where tea comes from kids!

  53. Bill | 5:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Two girls – one cup!

  54. Bill | 5:15 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 1  

    Teabagging services provided upon request

  55. BigD25 | 2:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Long Hai Tea,
    catch up on some reading!

  56. Dave | 6:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    She must be reading “50 Shades of Brown”

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