I don’t walk the vertical way

posted on 28 Dec 2011 in Instructions

Photo courtesy of Winnie Lau.
Instructions given at train station to get to the
Instant Ramen Museum in Osaka, Japan. 

36 captions

  1. Firstborn | 4:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Let’s see you excel me, you Momofuk-u!

  2. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I think you could even outlook me if you silly walk the vertical way.

  3. jjhitt | 5:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “Because there is a convenience store” —
    for when “because of monkeys” just isn’t enough.

  4. Algernon | 5:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    And when I walk on my hands I have no idea where I am.

  5. jjhitt | 5:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Noodle Science sure has come a long way since I studied it in school.

  6. jjhitt | 5:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Left walk is way of the dark side. Left leads to anger. Anger leads to Excel.
    Excel leads to Powerpoint. From Powerpoint, no returning there is.

  7. jjhitt | 5:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Go into convenience store.
    Buy beer.
    Repeat.

  8. mickeygreeneyes | 5:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I had no idea M.C. Escher had opened a 7-11 in Osaka!

  9. mickeygreeneyes | 5:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Sounds like something I read in the Talmud when I was in rabbinical school.

  10. jjhitt | 6:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    And in this exhibit we see our primitive ancestors driving herds of wild ramen off a cliff to fall into the boiling springs below.

  11. Seventy2rd o clock | 6:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    We are sorry for the convenience. Store.

  12. jimbobjim | 6:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    INSTANT RAMEN MUSEUM.
    Where is your god now?

  13. jjhitt | 6:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @ jimbobjim: Down the stairs to the right.

  14. Seventy2rd o clock | 8:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The horizontal ‘Engrish.com’ watermark is made beautifully in style!

  15. Lora | 8:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Whoever wrote these directions should be given fifty lashes with a wet instant ramen noodle!

  16. Seventy2rd o clock | 9:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    If I want Ramen, I’ll visit a restaurant, not a museum! Here are just a few reasons:

    – No need to silly walk
    – It is not very complicated
    – They usually apologize for the incontinence
    – Some staffs can speak English and the others cannot speak English at all (I prefer the latter)
    – A bell of a fire alarm doesn’t think other visitors are annoying
    – There are no monkeys (well, sort of)

    Also: in a restaurant, nobody excels me or the Spanish Inquisition!

  17. coffeebot | 9:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Walk like a Momofuku

  18. jjhitt | 9:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    # You are standing in an open field west of a white house
    > Walk vertical.
    # You are at a convenience store. You die of dysentery.

  19. A Non-Y Mouse | 11:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    This is the most ingenious marketing campaign for selling instant ramen at a convenience store I have ever seen!

  20. DECMATH | 11:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh you take the high road, and I’ll take the low road,
    And I’ll get to Speedway before ye

  21. Buzz Killington | 12:04 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    To quote david Letterman – “Get back Momofuku, you don’t know me like that!”

  22. PaleAleRider | 1:10 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Momofuku ando horseu rodindon

  23. SuSu | 2:26 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Excel” now has officially become a verb.
    I’m gonna excel you good, you momofuku!

  24. Darth Na'vi | 2:53 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    All your Ramen Belong to Us!

  25. Tom P. | 3:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Directions like big Excel spleadsheet. Store at horizontal row 2, vertical column C

  26. Mark | 4:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The Instant Ramen Museum has its own way of doing the Hokey Pokey.

  27. Michael | 5:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    It’s like someone put the lyrics to Helter Sketer into Babelfish several times!

  28. Eccekio | 6:17 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The Museum of fossilized Ramen Noodles. Which were recently discovered in my fridge.

  29. Eccekio | 9:00 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If you want to figure this out….USE YOUR NOODLE!

  30. AllStonedAllTheTime™ | 8:25 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    His Noodly Appendages will comfort you, my child.

  31. sparky | 9:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Walk like an Egyptian and go to the Ramses noodle museum instead.

  32. adrasl300 | 2:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    So the only thing standing between you and being able to fly is a convenience store?
    I get it now! To transcend we must throw off all these materialistic shackles! The convenience store represents conformism, apathy and materialism. Thank you Momofuku!

  33. Chuck | 8:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The horizontal walk.
    Is that what the kids are calling it these days ?

  34. :D | 12:56 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Just add water!

  35. confused again | 2:26 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    You may have the left walk, but I have the upper hand.

  36. Reminds me of the old days | 2:32 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    HP 200 MP 100
    You are at the train station.
    > Go down stairs
    > Have the left walk
    HP 200 MP 100
    You are at the convenience store.
    Momofuku is standing here
    Momofuku excels you!
    You walk the horizontal way
    HP -1 MP 100

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