Then open the door to turn the knob

posted on 6 Jun 2012 in Chinglish, Instructions

Photo courtesy of John Haines.
Found in China.  

50 captions

  1. Big Fat Cat | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Push the button and a bellboy will show up to flush the toilet for you.

  2. Algernon | 4:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 1  

    Or maybe ring a bell

  3. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    But Don’t Flush Toilet To Pee

  4. pijo | 4:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    What happen if I just push the button without flushing the toilet?

  5. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    And never forget to wash hands before dirty.

  6. jjhitt | 4:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 1  

    The Chinese space program faces many difficulties. This is one of them.

  7. mickeygreeneyes | 4:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 1  

    Take toilet paper to cause bowel movement.

  8. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I can’t pee to push a light switch, so I’m sorry for incontinence.

  9. Tong | 4:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    This high tech toilet is hydropowered. Flush, and a botton will be pushed. Always find the right botton to push though.

  10. Tong | 4:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    To flush or to push a button, that is the question.

  11. Droll not Troll | 5:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Now I’m worried. What if everything I just did goes into reverse? 8O

  12. faulty wiring | 5:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Monsieur Strauss Kahn, the urinal is free

  13. DrLex | 5:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    Push car to turn ignition key.
    Pry open safe with crowbar to unlock lock.
    Throw bullet forward to pull trigger.
    Push nail into wall to swing hammer.
    Climb up elevator shaft to call elevator.

    In communist China, result performs action.

  14. Frank Burns | 5:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Its the old chicken vs egg delema.

  15. jjhitt | 5:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “Destruct sequence armed. Awaiting executive and commanding officers to flush in unison to activate.”

  16. pijo | 5:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Looks like a bell ringing button …

  17. J-Luke | 5:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    …then raise toilet seat to push B button.
    It’s a new game from Flushing Meadows…

  18. Salome | 5:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Exit to open door.

  19. Jonnytbone | 6:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Sign on Yoda’s toilet.

  20. Seventy2rd o clock | 6:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    It would be a lot easier to activate it through one of social networks…

  21. jjhitt | 6:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Ding-A-Ling to press once.
    Clapper In The Crapper to press twice.

  22. Peter Chan | 6:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Some people die for getting killed. Now I understand how.

  23. Gtancx | 7:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Ok.. get it.. But I still don’t know when shall I push the B button??

  24. Chris | 7:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    You’re looking a little flushed.

  25. coffeebot | 7:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Wipe butt to open stall

  26. jjhitt | 7:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Clap On, Clap Off … it’s the Crapper.”

  27. Biff the Understudy | 7:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I remember this puzzle from the original Myst game.

  28. Grifter | 7:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    That idea is all flushed up.

  29. Classic Steve | 7:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The bell is upside-down. That makes sense in context, actually.

  30. demondude777 | 8:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Need 30 flushes? Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, B, A, Start.

  31. Lora | 10:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Never hire Yoda to write simple bathroom instructions.

  32. jjhitt | 10:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If you have toilet trouble, do you call a plumber, electrician or Quasimodo?

  33. DeeDee | 11:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Oooooh! What is this toilet for?

  34. jorn | 11:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    In Soviet China, toilet flush you!

  35. Seventy2rd o clock | 11:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Make sure you always lock yourself inside before you enter.

  36. Peter | 12:08 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Ever notice how much an upside-down bell resembles a urinal?

  37. Frank Burns | 12:56 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Gravity caused me to miss, so I don’t need to flush.

  38. d17nk | 3:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Urinate to drink water.

  39. RT | 3:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    confusing me, this is
    -yoda

  40. Marum | 5:11 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Then in the hallway, I was confronted by a man in a wheelchair with no legs.

  41. Jewels | 5:38 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Lurch (from Adams Family), breathing down your neck: You rang?

  42. marietta | 7:29 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Yoda?

  43. Danica | 7:38 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    The button is upside-down! THIS IS MADNESS!! The caption should have really been: “Meanwhile, in Australia…”

  44. A non-ymous | 9:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    The button actually signals a handbell choir to start playing Handel’s Water Music.

  45. Sparky | 2:53 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Urinate to pee.

  46. Jøsh | 2:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Poo I has too!!!
    -Yoda

  47. Antr | 1:17 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    How did that confusion of cause and result happen? Literal translation without considering context?

  48. 2LZ | 1:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    so the button is hidden in the toilet? can we dig gold from there onwards?

  49. tim | 8:24 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Here’s the part that will blow your mind; push the button to flush the toilet…

  50. QueensEngrish | 8:55 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t forget to make a call to dial a number.

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