Welcome to Hotel New Kamakura!

posted on 24 Jul 2012 in Instructions

Photo courtesy of Teresa Lai.
Found at hotel in Kamakura, Japan. 

40 captions

  1. Big Fat Cat | 4:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    We have a maternity ward 24/7 for pregnant customers.

  2. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I put my shoes into a plasting bag and they suffocated!

  3. DrLex | 4:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    A juice and alcohol vending machine. In other words, instant cocktails. I want one!

  4. DrLex | 4:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    My shoes did not want to go to bed after I put them into the plasting bag. I think they had too much ‘juice’ from the vending machine on the first floor. Therefore I was unable to have it at the room.

  5. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Eastern version of ‘Hotel New Hampshire’

  6. jjhitt | 4:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll have a C-Section and a double whiskey.
    And please be quiet about it, my shoes are asleep.

  7. JohnZ | 4:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    When I told my shoes to stay in the plastic bag they told me they preferred to go for a walk, buy some cocktails from the vending machine and drink them while enjoying that 24 hour birth. Is that OK?

  8. jjhitt | 4:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Open both windows, I just had twins.

  9. Terri | 4:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @Seventy2rd o clock

    They didn’t suffocate, we put them to sleep…I mean to bed.

  10. Jonnytbone | 4:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Sounds like this place ought to turn on the gas moveable cooking stove for a while and strike a match.

  11. mickeygreeneyes | 4:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Please always have always have the key of the room. Get it? ALWAYS have it! Or ELSE!

  12. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Damn, I can’t find my birth… Must have gone to bed or something.

  13. mickeygreeneyes | 4:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The door is opend for 24 hours. Except on Leap Day, when it is opend for 25 hours. But then again, on alternate Tuesdays . . .

  14. mickeygreeneyes | 4:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Which employee do I see about arranging or canceling a birth? I hope it will be an attractive employee of the gender I prefer.

  15. jjhitt | 4:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    >> A birth is put in for 24 hours.
    In my country it takes nine months.

  16. coffeebot | 4:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Lamaze Class is ok

  17. Algernon | 5:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Not much sleep here

  18. Sparky | 5:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Relax, ” said the night man,
    “We are programmed to receive.
    You can check-out any time you like,
    But you can never leave! “

  19. Droll not Troll | 5:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I must be doing it wrong. When I put my shoes in the plasting bag they wouldn’t go to bed but my foot went to sleep!

  20. Seventy2rd o clock | 6:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Is it allowed to close the door after 24 hours?

  21. Pectolatra | 7:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    My shoes are not going to bed yet. Since there is no preparation of a meal, I’ll have them buy some food for me.

  22. Droll not Troll | 7:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The birth is in the first 2 floor? That baby must be huge! No wonder it takes 24 hours.

  23. demondude777 | 7:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Guest: I guess I need to tell you: A washing machine can be used once from 300yen.

    Hotel Employee: Thank you for letting me know. My boss had not informed me.

  24. DrLex | 7:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Please put hopelessly smelly shoes in the blasting bag and retreat to a safe distance before detonating.

  25. tadchem | 8:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I love the 300yen limit on the money laundering.

  26. Biff the Understudy | 8:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Please always save always save power and water. You’ll need it for the 24 hour birth ordeal.

  27. GwydionM | 10:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    It is forbidden to use the washing machine more than once.

    The gas moveable cooking stove runs and hides and cannot be used even once.

  28. Peter Chan | 12:03 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    24 hour midwife service on call?

  29. Someone | 1:50 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh my god, open a freaking window! Not everyone wants to smell your afterbirth, you know?

  30. Marum | 2:12 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    hello desk. I can’t find my room. I don’t know if it was on the first second floor, the second second floor, or the third second floor. Oh! Never mind. I left my key in the box of the first floor, and when I try to get it back, it keeps hitting me.

  31. Timo | 3:24 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The the gas movable cooking stove is just for show?

  32. alexmagnus | 3:53 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    “Please always have always have the key of the room” – put the commas on the right places :) . As in that “James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher” phrase.

  33. Jøsh | 4:32 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I think I did it wrong. I told the clerk when I “gave birth” and I wanted to save water so I didn’t flush.

  34. Marum | 9:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @jjhitt. If it takes nine months, why did you hurry so much at the end?:D

  35. TheUnknown | 9:35 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I didn’t cooperate with the power saving water saving, so I had to tell an employee

  36. TheUnknown | 9:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Too much engrish in one posting..I think I’m overdosing

  37. slipstick | 10:21 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    -Do you work here?
    -Yes.
    -The washing machine can be used once from 300 yen.
    -Thank you.

  38. EffEff | 7:32 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 1  

    My shoes must have walked away. In my plasting bag there was nothing but my blastic caps.

  39. Andrew | 12:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    My shoes can go to bed wherever they want, thank you!

  40. Huggzie | 6:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Well… goodnight SHOES! That plastic bag comfortable enough? … What is that you say shoes? You want tell an employee?

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