I’ll make sure you get cookies

posted on 8 Oct 2012 in Chinglish

Bookmark this table.

Photo courtesy of Emily Kneeland.
Found in hotel room in Beijing, China. 

38 captions

  1. Algernon | 4:11 am |

    Its a static thing

  2. SF | 4:19 am |

    I’m sure I put it there just a moment ago. Has anybody a backup?

  3. DrLex | 4:19 am |

    It’s hard enough already to find stuff on the internet in China, so don’t make it any harder.

  4. Jonnytbone | 4:21 am |

    And I thought the Facebook timeline was a bad idea.

  5. iLock | 4:26 am |

    Please don’t move the letter t away from the apostrophe.

  6. Tong | 4:27 am |

    Virtual space is very difficult to find.

  7. jjhitt | 4:31 am |

    It keeps the table from wiggling.

  8. iLock | 4:32 am |

    Please don’t move the Internet, it’s very sensitive
    and crying could short circuit itself.

  9. coffeebot | 4:54 am |

    Who moved my homepage?

  10. Droll not Troll | 5:03 am |

    The Internet is quite happy where it is, just a bit to the left of reality.

  11. pijo | 5:27 am |

    I will only move the computer, I’ll leave Internet there …

  12. The_YongGrand | 5:57 am |

    “Dude, where’s my internet?” 😀

  13. Classic Steve | 6:26 am |

    Only boring stories allowed.

  14. Droll not Troll | 6:36 am |

    Can I just stimulate its bits?

  15. Pectolatra | 7:13 am |

    Last time someone did it, the cats dropped all over the place.

  16. Pectolatra | 7:15 am |

    You don’t want the trolls to tear you into pieces, do you?

  17. Chris | 7:18 am |

    It’s just a jump to the left.

  18. Ben | 7:20 am |

    I have AT&T. Trust me, my internet isn’t moving very fast at all.

  19. Seventy2rd o clock | 8:07 am |

    If it’s mobile it moves by itself

  20. Seventy2rd o clock | 8:17 am |

    And don’t drill holes into the Cyberspace.

  21. GwydionM | 8:26 am |

    it would be hor ribble if the wo rds got brok en in the mo ve.

  22. demondude777 | 8:41 am |

    Boy: Dad, what did you bring back from China for me?

    Dad: Son, here is the whole internet…enjoy!

  23. Seventy2rd o clock | 8:50 am |

    I moved it and it came back!

  24. Biff the Understudy | 9:11 am |

    Great, now Wikipedia is going to have another blackout campaign.

  25. davonblr | 9:42 am |

    It’s fine to keep it there, but you might want to cover it up bc viruses have been going around the office. And please don’t leave your Spam lying open! No one wants to share that mess with you.

  26. Sparky | 10:38 am |

    Attn: Please don’t move.

    From: The Internet

  27. Peter Chan | 11:16 am |

    Ok, then I shall download the Internet.

  28. Marum | 12:57 pm |

    It followed me home mummy. Can I keep it?

  29. Seventy2rd o clock | 1:14 pm |

    ”Freeze!”

  30. demondude777 | 2:06 pm |

    Yes my name is Don T. Where would you like me to put this internet you ordered now?

  31. mickeygreeneyes | 2:28 pm |

    We like it where it IS! You got a problem with that?
    –The Teamsters Union

  32. Marum | 5:38 pm |

    i before e except after c.
    No space before t except after an apostophe.

  33. Droll not Troll | 10:44 pm |

    It takes experts to move an Internet. Somebody has to disconnect all the You Tubes and if there’s a p0rn spill it will need special decontamination procedures.
    Then when it’s in the new position it must be adjusted so that Craigslist is listing at the correct angle.

  34. Jøsh | 11:22 pm |

    Me calling desk- “My room lost internet”
    Annoyed Clerk- “Sir, did you move it?”

  35. Peter | 5:25 am |

    The Elders of the Internet request that you don’ t move it.

  36. Pete | 1:55 am |

    Son, I just got back from Beijing and brought you the entire Great Firewall of China for a gift!

    (Actually the sign reads “Please don’t move the COMPUTER.”

  37. Johm | 1:36 pm |

    No Internets for you.

  38. Myself | 5:47 pm |

    Ah, the novelization of the Internet is finally out!

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