I’d like the check, sugar-pants

posted on 27 Dec 2012 in Chinglish, Menus

Waiter, a little more fly in my soup, please

Photo courtesy of Terry OConnell.
Buffet menu found in China. 

42 captions

  1. A Non-Y Mouse | 4:06 am |

    People calling for reservations always ask if the carpet in the dining area matches the drapes.

  2. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:26 am |

    No woman hits the grill until she asks for it!

  3. Tong | 4:26 am |

    It’s true, just one little comment, I was grilled at work, in court and at home.

  4. Pectolatra | 4:45 am |

    It tastes so good you won’t even bother being harassed.

  5. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:46 am |

    Also available:
    – Torturra
    – Ouch Meat
    – Incest Burger
    – Cheese Bondage
    – Meat Murder with Flies
    – Incontinence Intestines Burns the Facebook Rape
    – Spam, Spam, Spem, Spern, Sperr, Sparm, with Sausage and Spam

  6. SF | 5:16 am |

    Is i a sexual harassment in your pocket?

  7. SF | 5:17 am |

    Is it a sexual harassment in your pocket?

  8. mickeygreeneyes | 5:21 am |

    Hey, sweetie, I gotta footlong for ya, with whipped ceam too if ya want.

  9. jjhitt | 5:22 am |

    I got your “tip” right here.

  10. jjhitt | 5:23 am |

    I’ll have the Clarence Thomas Exorcist Special, hold the Coke.

  11. Algernon | 6:13 am |

    I’d be care touching that

  12. Marum | 7:40 am |

    If you try sexual harassment here, the least that will happen to you is being grilled.

  13. Ben | 8:19 am |

    That’ll be 350 yuan. Please pull around to the first innuendo.

  14. Marum | 8:50 am |

    One lewd look, two indecent suggestions, one suureptitious bum pinch. You want tittie squeezes with that?

  15. Big Fat Cat | 9:43 am |

    The restaurant accidentally put its sexual harassment policy on its menu.

  16. Frank Burns | 9:54 am |

    All I said was that I wanted my salad tossed.

  17. coffeebot | 10:44 am |

    I kinda did expect the Spanish Inquistion

  18. Earl G. | 12:58 pm |

    It’s an invitation to play “hide the sausage.”

  19. Seventy2rd o clock | 2:34 pm |

    Barbie Grill
    (Spam version)
    ♩ ♪ ♫
    I’m a Barbie Grill, not Ratatouille
    It’s like hot plate, without toilet
    You can pull my hair, meat me everywhere
    Intestination, bowel complication

    I’m a Barbie Cue, roasted just for you
    What a tasty, don’t you waste me
    Ice cream in the a**, now I’m such a mess
    Technicolon, don’t be such a moron ♬ ♭

  20. RT | 4:47 pm |

    this is why hooters is losing to competing international restaurants

  21. RT | 4:48 pm |

    it is a place you can have many lawsuits have many lawsuits

  22. RT | 8:10 pm |

    would you like the happy ending, or BAD END?

  23. iLock | 8:56 pm |

    Under the buffet cupboards, the staff lie in waiting…
    some of them have even made holes in the food trays.

  24. RJF | 9:23 pm |

    I like my Burger with XXXtra white sauce.

  25. emily | 10:06 pm |

    Your honour, all I told the waitress was I wanted to see more flesh ……. I forgot to say “on my plate”

  26. Lora | 6:40 am |

    Waiter: Would you like to eat in the “No” or “No Means No” section?
    Me: “No Means No”. As if you need to ask.

  27. davonblr | 7:21 am |

    I’ll take mine sautéed, thank you.

  28. davonblr | 7:23 am |

    See what happens when there’s too much drunk horsemeat on the menu!

  29. Peter | 9:41 am |

    So we’re safe . . . it won’t be put into action !

  30. Sparky | 9:45 am |

    Squeeze my lemon ’till the juce runs down my leg…Led Zep

  31. KBurchfiel | 11:32 am |

    Truly Engrish, or the lone English-speaking employee at the restaurant expressing her distaste at the chef’s attitude? We may never know.

  32. Bob | 9:22 am |

    I ran this through the translator app on my smartphone. When it read each character individually, it translated to “salty,” “pig,” and “hand,” so it sounds like pickled pig’s feet, or some similar dish. But when it read all three characters together, it translated to “groping,” which must be where the sexual harassment comes in.

  33. Grilled *snicker* breasts and thighs *snicker snicker* with honey *giggle*. Just a little harmless fun with the menu.

  34. Khroe | 7:27 pm |

    Must be the sexual harassment Panda Express.

  35. virushunter | 12:05 am |

    And I’m gonna take it!

  36. geo | 4:17 am |

    “Herro, welcome to China Best… f***ing or non?”

  37. geo | 4:32 am |

    “Lady at table pipty-pibe szechuan cream of sum yung gai”

  38. JohnC | 9:02 am |

    In Hong Kong, it is a slang to refer to someone who touches women “inappropriately” that he has “Salted Pig Feet”. I can’t believe someone who actually apply the slang to the actual dish.

  39. marcus | 7:50 am |

    its better than the fried!!

  40. Toe Cheese | 8:29 am |

    Snacks available:
    Twinkies
    Ho-hos
    Ding-dongs

  41. Cindi | 12:21 am |

    I’ll have that. It’s gotta be saucier than steamed racial discrimination.

  42. RocketCat | 3:34 pm |

    I’ll take that with a side of pan-seared innuendo and a derogatory martini to drink.

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