I’d like the check, sugar-pants

posted on 27 Dec 2012 in Chinglish, Menus

Waiter, a little more fly in my soup, please

Photo courtesy of Terry OConnell.
Buffet menu found in China. 

41 captions

  1. A Non-Y Mouse | 4:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 17  Subtract rating 0  

    People calling for reservations always ask if the carpet in the dining area matches the drapes.

  2. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    No woman hits the grill until she asks for it!

  3. Tong | 4:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    It’s true, just one little comment, I was grilled at work, in court and at home.

  4. Pectolatra | 4:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 2  

    It tastes so good you won’t even bother being harassed.

  5. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 31  Subtract rating 0  

    Also available:
    - Torturra
    - Ouch Meat
    - Incest Burger
    - Cheese Bondage
    - Meat Murder with Flies
    - Incontinence Intestines Burns the Facebook Rape
    - Spam, Spam, Spem, Spern, Sperr, Sparm, with Sausage and Spam

  6. SF | 5:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Is i a sexual harassment in your pocket?

  7. SF | 5:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Is it a sexual harassment in your pocket?

  8. mickeygreeneyes | 5:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    Hey, sweetie, I gotta footlong for ya, with whipped ceam too if ya want.

  9. jjhitt | 5:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I got your “tip” right here.

  10. jjhitt | 5:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 1  

    I’ll have the Clarence Thomas Exorcist Special, hold the Coke.

  11. Algernon | 6:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I’d be care touching that

  12. Marum | 7:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    If you try sexual harassment here, the least that will happen to you is being grilled.

  13. Ben | 8:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    That’ll be 350 yuan. Please pull around to the first innuendo.

  14. Marum | 8:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    One lewd look, two indecent suggestions, one suureptitious bum pinch. You want tittie squeezes with that?

  15. Big Fat Cat | 9:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    The restaurant accidentally put its sexual harassment policy on its menu.

  16. Frank Burns | 9:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    All I said was that I wanted my salad tossed.

  17. coffeebot | 10:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I kinda did expect the Spanish Inquistion

  18. Earl G. | 12:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    It’s an invitation to play “hide the sausage.”

  19. Seventy2rd o clock | 2:34 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 3  

    Barbie Grill
    (Spam version)
    ♩ ♪ ♫
    I’m a Barbie Grill, not Ratatouille
    It’s like hot plate, without toilet
    You can pull my hair, meat me everywhere
    Intestination, bowel complication

    I’m a Barbie Cue, roasted just for you
    What a tasty, don’t you waste me
    Ice cream in the a**, now I’m such a mess
    Technicolon, don’t be such a moron ♬ ♭

  20. RT | 4:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    this is why hooters is losing to competing international restaurants

  21. RT | 4:48 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    it is a place you can have many lawsuits have many lawsuits

  22. RT | 8:10 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    would you like the happy ending, or BAD END?

  23. iLock | 8:56 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Under the buffet cupboards, the staff lie in waiting…
    some of them have even made holes in the food trays.

  24. RJF | 9:23 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I like my Burger with XXXtra white sauce.

  25. emily | 10:06 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Your honour, all I told the waitress was I wanted to see more flesh ……. I forgot to say “on my plate”

  26. Lora | 6:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Waiter: Would you like to eat in the “No” or “No Means No” section?
    Me: “No Means No”. As if you need to ask.

  27. davonblr | 7:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll take mine sautéed, thank you.

  28. davonblr | 7:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    See what happens when there’s too much drunk horsemeat on the menu!

  29. Peter | 9:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    So we’re safe . . . it won’t be put into action !

  30. Sparky | 9:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Squeeze my lemon ’till the juce runs down my leg…Led Zep

  31. KBurchfiel | 11:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Truly Engrish, or the lone English-speaking employee at the restaurant expressing her distaste at the chef’s attitude? We may never know.

  32. Bob | 9:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    I ran this through the translator app on my smartphone. When it read each character individually, it translated to “salty,” “pig,” and “hand,” so it sounds like pickled pig’s feet, or some similar dish. But when it read all three characters together, it translated to “groping,” which must be where the sexual harassment comes in.

  33. Wile E. Coyote Super Genius | 6:49 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 2  

    Grilled *snicker* breasts and thighs *snicker snicker* with honey *giggle*. Just a little harmless fun with the menu.

  34. Khroe | 7:27 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Must be the sexual harassment Panda Express.

  35. virushunter | 12:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    And I’m gonna take it!

  36. geo | 4:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “Herro, welcome to China Best… f***ing or non?”

  37. geo | 4:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “Lady at table pipty-pibe szechuan cream of sum yung gai”

  38. JohnC | 9:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    In Hong Kong, it is a slang to refer to someone who touches women “inappropriately” that he has “Salted Pig Feet”. I can’t believe someone who actually apply the slang to the actual dish.

  39. marcus | 7:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    its better than the fried!!

  40. Toe Cheese | 8:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Snacks available:
    Twinkies
    Ho-hos
    Ding-dongs

  41. Cindi | 12:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll have that. It’s gotta be saucier than steamed racial discrimination.

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