But Mr. Lifeguard, it’s just acne…

posted on 21 Feb 2013 in Chinglish, Signs

You must be THIS hungry to swim here…

Photo courtesy of Emily Landon.
Found in China. 

40 captions

  1. Algernon | 4:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Party poopers

  2. Algernon | 4:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Nice to know they’re friendly

  3. Tong | 4:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Damn that English speaking lamb rips. One too many, now I can’s swim.

  4. Droll not Troll | 4:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 0  

    I once caught ect from swimming in a dirty pool but I’m cured now.

  5. Droll not Troll | 4:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Er… how do you know if you’re suffering from an epidemic?

  6. JohnZ | 4:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Dare to pee in our pool, and we will introduce you to our deathguard.

  7. Droll not Troll | 4:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 1  

    Any man who has dong fang is required to wear a muzzle in his speedos.

  8. jjhitt | 4:38 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Beach party moved to industrial canal due to being overeaten.

  9. Tong | 4:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    People have the above conditions, please do not go into the pool. Meet in hell, I mean the hall…

  10. jjhitt | 4:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    With a name like Dong Fang, you have to be kind.

  11. Big Fat Cat | 5:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    If you swim with those conditions, we will send you with our not so kind reminders- meet our red guards.

  12. Jonnytbone | 5:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Doug Fang must be the Donald Trump of China. And just as obnoxious.

  13. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    For undereaten guest only

  14. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    NOTE: Our dong prohibits rubbing the old horny

  15. Pectolatra | 5:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Why does venereal disease prohibits you to swim in there?
    It’s not like you’re going to have sex in the pool…
    …is it? :oops:

  16. Mr. Wrong | 5:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    The Five Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Heart Disease, Psychosis, Epidemics, Overeaten and Drunkenness) are not welcome here.

  17. Mr. Wrong | 5:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    DNT: I got my ect off a toilet seat.

  18. Mr. Wrong | 5:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    So if we only have five of the six epidemics, we can swim here, right?

  19. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    PS: Bring out the dead! … Bring out the dead! … Bring out the dead!

  20. Mr. Wrong | 5:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Our clients may be a bunch of disease-ridden drunks, but at least we keep them out of the pool. Be confident they haven’t touched any other surface in the hotel, and enjoy your visit!

  21. Droll not Troll | 5:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Women who have been overeaten should stay away from the old horny.

  22. Mr. Wrong | 6:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    This pool is protected from disease by a sign. Swim at own risk.

  23. Seventy2rd o clock | 6:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Our Dong speaks English!

  24. Sparky | 6:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I have drunkenness …what does this mean?

  25. Stopchicks | 6:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Sorry, you’re too crazy to swim here. You’ve gone off the deep end. We recommend trying Bad Gene Pool, a block down the street.

  26. Classic Steve | 7:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Ironically, you need a psychosis to *want* to swim here.

  27. jjhitt | 7:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I’m Anna Rexia and I approved this message.

  28. emily | 8:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    It seems overeating makes one heavier and increases the risk of sinking……

  29. Droll not Troll | 8:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    @emily: ………not to mention the possibility of blowing chunks in the pool.

  30. Biff the Understudy | 10:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    ECT: Escherichia coli Terribilis?

  31. Lobo | 10:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    and that is the KIND reminder…

  32. GwydionM | 11:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    People just partly eaten are OK.

  33. Lora | 1:54 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Whatever happened to just “No Running”? :-(

  34. Biff the Understudy | 2:07 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    They forgot to mention hullabaloo.

  35. Jewels | 6:56 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    At first glance.. I thought the four things at the bottom were dying/dead roaches and thought with that standard of cleanliness… no wonder they fear epidemics….

  36. raeme67 | 4:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Hey, you fat, pox-marked, heart disease ridden, druken,psyco, TB patient with occasional epidemics, just keep moving you are not wanted here!

  37. Doctor Q | 1:21 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Children are not allowed here.

  38. The Blob | 7:17 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    This is the pool? Oh, I’m sorry… my psychosis… I thought this was the lava basin.

  39. The Blob | 7:18 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    What do you mean I have to leave! The sign says no swimming allowed; nothing about drowning!

  40. Susan | 1:09 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    We can have our own epidemics?

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