Welcome menu

posted on 23 Jul 2013 in Chinglish, Menus

Photo courtesy of Ian.
Menu found in China. 

71 captions

  1. Jonnytbone | 4:03 am |

    The Farmer Takes The Wife.

  2. Droll not Troll | 4:03 am |

    Soil beans are used to make turfu.

  3. algernon | 4:03 am |

    Be careful of the raping mushrooms when they explode the chicken cube

  4. algernon | 4:05 am |

    I suppose the chicken does slip away when the chicken cube explodes the temple.

  5. algernon | 4:06 am |

    A beer or a coke is comforting afterwards

  6. Droll not Troll | 4:09 am |

    The black mushrooms were framed! It was the toads tools!

  7. DrLex | 4:11 am |

    Forget about high five. The new fashion is styn five!

  8. Droll not Troll | 4:12 am |

    I don’t want the sugar vinegar in my ridge. It stings like f*ck!

  9. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:12 am |

    Welcome… To food wars

  10. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:12 am |

    All I Wanted Was A Drink

  11. DrLex | 4:12 am |

    Do not slip away the chicken slices into the temple, or they’ll explode too.

  12. DrLex | 4:15 am |

    Welcome. Bomb-and-fireproof suits will be provided by your waiter.

  13. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:16 am |

    The water always boils the beef… The temple always explodes the chicken cube… Styn Always Fived Pine Seeds withcorn… Why not vice-versa?

    Ah… Nevermind.

  14. coffeebot | 4:20 am |

    Get your white pointy hat! Mushroom lynching tonight!

  15. jjhitt | 4:22 am |

    “The temple explodes the chicken cube” — Wasn’t that what the Hellraiser movies were about?

  16. Stopchicks | 4:24 am |

    The menu confuses the brain.

  17. Big Fat Cat | 4:26 am |

    This menu is designed for Indiana Jones. It’s so adventurous.

  18. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:27 am |

    @ jjhitt: I always thought Cenobites did that.

  19. jjhitt | 4:29 am |

    Now this sounds like my kind of religion!

  20. jjhitt | 4:40 am |

    If it’s a legitimate mushroom rape, the chicken body has ways to shut the whole thing down. By exploding.

  21. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:45 am |

    Violence of the Lambs?

  22. Droll not Troll | 4:46 am |

    @jhitt: Now that’s what I call a gang bang!

  23. Timmy | 5:24 am |

    Keep that black mushroom in your pants!

  24. Frank Burns | 6:24 am |

    Thats kind of shiitake to always blame the black mushrooms.

  25. Frank Burns | 6:30 am |

    It was very difficult to cross a chicken and a silk worm, but the noodles are worth it.

  26. Biff the Understudy | 6:44 am |

    The water boils the beef or it gets the hose again.

  27. jjhitt | 7:15 am |

    Knock Knock — Hi, I’m Elder Soil Bean, could we talk to you for a few minutes about the Exploding Chicken and what his Cube means to you?

  28. Marum | 7:35 am |

    Black Mushroom Rape.

    They must be Toad’s tools.

  29. Classic Steve | 7:37 am |

    @Biff: By which you mean it gets shot out of the hose again?

  30. Marum | 8:00 am |

    The restaurant at the end of the Una voca.

  31. Jay | 8:52 am |

    And the inevitable: in Communist China water boils YOU!

  32. Biff the Understudy | 9:07 am |

    @Steve: Or put back in the hose. Either way, the hose is not a place anyone wants to be. Especially not water. Or beef.

  33. Biff the Understudy | 9:11 am |

    Exploding? Burning? Rape? Slipping away? This menu was written by ninjas, or Genghis Khan.

  34. DanT | 11:25 am |

    Uh…I’ll just have a Coca-Cola, please

  35. Peter | 11:26 am |

    Black mushrooms rape . . . or being raped?

  36. Seventy2rd o clock | 11:29 am |

    – Medium-raped mushrooms, and French fries the temple. With Mayo crime, please.

  37. Sparky | 12:37 pm |

    This what the menu looks like when you’re stone. EIEIOH!

  38. Lora | 1:18 pm |

    The chicken slip away because…it’s chicken! *dodges tomato*

  39. Jim | 1:52 pm |

    They do have beer, so there’s that.

  40. Jøshua | 2:58 pm |

    The Beans Soil the Pants

  41. NoizeBomb | 3:03 pm |

    No wonder why the chicken cube doesn’t exist. The Temple raged so hard that the chicken cube exploded.

  42. Marum | 3:20 pm |

    I’ve got a shitake on all of this.

  43. RiceKitty | 7:12 pm |

    When Iron Chef meets The Hunger Games…

  44. Snickers | 2:27 am |

    Someone’s got beef for the beef

  45. A. Tsang | 4:49 am |

    The temple explodes the chicken cube → Spicy diced chicken
    The soil bean burns the beef → Braised beef and potatoes
    The water boils the beef → Braised beef
    Chicken silk noodles → Noodles with shredded chicken
    Black mushroom rape → Bok choi with Shiitake mushrooms

  46. Frank Burns | 5:46 am |

    A. Tsang doesn’t get it.

  47. Biff the Understudy | 9:15 am |

    OK that does it. From now on I’m calling potatoes “soil beans”!

  48. Marum | 2:29 pm |

    @A. Tsang. Thank you. May I assume: Beer → Beer.

  49. Marum | 2:31 pm |

    Or maybe ith cath pith!

  50. d17nk | 5:17 pm |

    “The temple explodes the chicken cube” is originated from Southern part of China, belongs to the Cantonese cooking style. The original name is “宮寶鷄丁“ but got lost in the Cantonese-to-Mandarin translation when it got carried over to the rest of China. The original name literally means Palace Treasure Chicken Cube. But the “treasure” part somehow became “explode” when it got translated into Mandarin. Hence we have the funny Engrish version, “The temple explodes the chicken cube” :)

  51. Fredly | 6:47 pm |

    Chicken, Beef, silk noodles…Kooky! But Black Mushrooms Rape? No spank you!

  52. Skeered | 6:42 am |

    It puts the lotion on the beef

  53. james | 10:05 pm |

    Stay away from the black mushrooms.

  54. SM0k3 | 10:26 pm |

    where’s the “It puts the lotion on the skin.”

  55. exsy | 5:36 am |

    Hahahahaha… The temple explodes the chicken cube :)

  56. donny | 5:22 am |

    Yes, I’ll have the temple chicken cube – with extra explosions, and the lady would like the black mushrooms – heavy on the rape. Oh, and some extra napkins, please.

  57. HankW | 10:12 pm |

    Don’t blame the black mushrooms; they were forced into it.

  58. JulieM | 3:57 am |

    And the beef jumps over the moon!

  59. Rita | 11:16 am |

    Welcome and run for your life, before your chicken explodes and your black mushroom rapes!

  60. passer-by | 2:38 am |

    @d17nk:

    It should be 宮「保」雞丁, not 「寶」(although it’s also acceptable); and it originated from 四川, not 廣州. For more detailed information, pls go visit Wiki.

  61. Austin | 7:47 pm |

    Beware the black mushrooms!

  62. TC | 9:27 pm |

    People have been accusing black mushrooms of rape for centuries. It’s racism at its worst.

  63. Ponyboy | 5:44 pm |

    The temple explodes the chicken cube 宮保雞丁 = Kung Pao Chicken…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kung_Pao_chicken

  64. Enclave | 2:28 am |

    Black Mushroom Rape sounds like a good name for a song!

  65. Casey Goranson | 4:09 pm |

    Coming soon to a dinner plate near you…

  66. Soso | 9:37 am |

    My favorite bedtime story

  67. ERIC | 3:53 am |

    Hey at least they got “black” and “rape” right, together in the same sentence.

  68. David O | 1:23 pm |

    The black mushrooms constitute a manifest contradiction on this menu. If you order the black mushroom rape, you want it. And logically you can’t rape the willing. So the menu item should be changed to “black mushroom rough sex” for greater accuracy.

  69. katsia | 2:16 am |

    Show must go on, yeah?

  70. Click me | 4:08 pm |

    When the chicken slice slips away, it is exploded by the temple and becomes chicken silk

  71. Petey | 2:21 pm |

    Slip away the chicken slice and unleash the dogs of war.

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