Picking up bad habits from the Germans…

posted on 23 Oct 2013 in Chinglish, Menus

Photo courtesy of Carl Grice.
Found at hotel in China. 

58 captions

  1. PeeBee | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 48  Subtract rating 1  

    Please don’t use your hands.

  2. DrLex | 4:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 131  Subtract rating 2  

    Hey baby, want to see my Bratwurst?

  3. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 3  

    I’m from Gurmany

  4. Droll not Troll | 4:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 55  Subtract rating 0  

    Waiter! There’s a wiener in my entrée!

  5. algernon | 4:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 48  Subtract rating 1  

    Something to do with sausages

  6. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 38  Subtract rating 6  


    Let’s talk about sex, baby
    Let’s talk about Germany…
    ♫ ♪

  7. Droll not Troll | 4:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 89  Subtract rating 0  

    @algernon: That’s the wurst kind of sexual harassment!

  8. Tong | 4:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 3  

    Terrible German, all because of their little sausages!

  9. jjhitt | 4:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 0  

    We put the Ommph in Omp-Pah-Pah.

  10. jjhitt | 4:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 52  Subtract rating 0  

    Is that the Hindenburg or are you just glad to see me?

  11. Jonnytbone | 4:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    And you thought a hair on a Coke can was bad.

  12. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    Bed taste of the wurst menu.

  13. Droll not Troll | 4:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 35  Subtract rating 0  

    Pumpernickel? I haven’t even seen her nickel.

  14. Ben | 4:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 36  Subtract rating 0  

    What part of Nein! Nein! don’t you understand?

  15. Droll not Troll | 5:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 22  Subtract rating 1  

    The waitress keeps suggesting neun und sechzig, but there are only fifty items on the menu.

  16. Big Fat Cat | 5:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 21  Subtract rating 2  

    This picture was used as evidence in the court to show how the German tourist ended up when he violated the no sexual harassment policy at the Quan Sheng Hotel.

  17. A Non-Y Mouse | 6:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    Hey baby. Let’s go to my place and you can “show me your papers.”

  18. Chuck | 6:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 17  Subtract rating 0  

    That wasn’t on the D-Day plan.

  19. Frank Burns | 6:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Time to Polka!

  20. Sparky | 6:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 0  

    A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can’t stand it any longer, and goes to her boss to file a sexual harassment complaint. She tells the boss what the co-worker does, and wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him.

    The boss is puzzled by this, and asks, ‘What’s sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice’? The woman replies, ‘It’s Wolfgang, the dwarf.’

  21. Frank Burns | 6:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 1  

    Are you a nazi or a hotzi-totzi?

  22. Seventy2rd o clock | 7:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 1  

    Boner appétit!

  23. Nonsuch Ned | 8:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Hello, I’m Clark Griswald, my family and I were looking for sex.

  24. GwydionM | 8:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 1  

    We have wayz ov making you sexy!

  25. Nonsuch Ned | 8:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    I like the way GwydionM thinks, but it needs a little tweaking..

    Vee have vayz to make you sleep vit me!

  26. Chuck | 9:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    Getten zie ready fuhr mein bliss-krieg !

  27. Lollerskate | 9:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    With all that Oktoberfest feeling!

  28. Geiginni | 10:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 1  

    It’s the wurst type of sexual harassment!

  29. Lobo | 10:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    It comes served in a black vinyl plate on a leather tray. Black latex napkins available.

  30. Biff the Understudy | 11:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 2  

    Arbeit mach sexy

    (And yes, I know that’s in extremely poor taste. My bad.)

  31. Marum | 11:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 0  

    It is all about making das Best of der Wurst.

  32. Marum | 11:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    Sechs is the number that cones after Fünf.

  33. Marum | 11:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    And before Sieben.
    Take note Aust Swimming.
    Sechs before Sieben.

  34. Vulcan64 | 12:15 pm |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 1  

    I prefer Italian-type sexual harassment. The way the language sounds makes it less creepy.

  35. Nonsuch Ned | 12:26 pm |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 1  

    Mit a bang
    Mit a boom♫♪
    Mit a bing-bang bing-bang boom ♪♪
    Russian folksongs und French oo-la-la
    Can’t compare with a German oom-pah-pah!
    ♫♪

  36. Nonsuch Ned | 12:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    You’ve had the brat-wurst
    Now try the brat-best!

  37. Biff the Understudy | 12:34 pm |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 2  

    ♫ Ven der Führer says
    Ve iss de master lands
    Ve Heil! Heil!
    Right in der Führer’s pants

  38. Marum | 1:03 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    @BTU.
    Es macht nichts freund. History neither began nor ended with the Holocaust. More….It should be a signal to us all, to be vigilant, so that it never happens again.

    What was never mentioned until recent years, is that dear old Yosef, (he was one of the good guys then) killed as many. He was just not as well organised.
    Stalin Quote: “A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.”

    Interesting insight into a dictator’s mind, nein?

  39. Biff the Understudy | 1:21 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 1  

    @Marum:
    You got that right. That’s why I maintain the expensive hobby of “professional gun nut”. Er, well… not professional. Just a nut!

    Tasol.

  40. Marum | 1:38 pm |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 7  

    Twelve IRA members kidnap a German tourist, with the intention of raping her.

    She is screaming; “Nein, nein, nein!”

    So Pat, and Mick, and Shaun, go home.

  41. Marum | 1:42 pm |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Does anyone know what the Chinese actually says?

  42. Marum | 1:48 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    @Vulcan64.
    I know what you mean mate. Have you ever watched The Wizard of Oz in German?

    I English the Munchkins are cute. In German they’re sinister.

  43. Geno Washington | 3:33 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Germany and China have SOMETHING in common… Germany has a chancellor, and China has a premier, even though most countries call theirs a prime minister…

  44. jjhitt | 3:41 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 1  

    Today, the waitress. Tomorrow, THE WORLD!

  45. Cecily | 5:55 pm |  Vote: Add rating 23  Subtract rating 1  

    Stop trying to annex my personal space. It isn’t Poland.

  46. Cecily | 5:55 pm |  Vote: Add rating 35  Subtract rating 0  

    Keep your dirty Hans off of me!

  47. Qeny | 11:28 pm |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum:

    The Chinese says “German-style salty pig hand”.

    Sometimes it’s actually kind of insightful and interesting to see why a particular phrase has gotten mis-translated. In this case, “salty pig hand” refers to sexual harassment because a creepy guy is like a salty pig. However, salty pig hand is also a tasty food. 😛

  48. Marum | 9:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Ah! Pigs Trotters. I suspected as much. But I did not understand the allusion.

    Dane schön. @Qeny.

  49. Marum | 9:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    EDIT: Trotters/feet

  50. Marum | 9:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    EDIT: Danke schön.

  51. Xingbo-bo Hu | 2:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    In fact, it’s made by pig’s feet, which tastes a bit salty and hot.

  52. Sam | 8:19 pm |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Where can I get the Japanese Sexual Harassment?

  53. luo xiao min | 3:27 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 4  

    @Marum & Qeny:

    Qeny’s explanation was correct.

    But I’d like to add, the Chinese characters printed in the picture is not Chinese per se, it is actually Hongkeey “Chinese”, originated and limited in Hong Kong, where pu tong hua (the Chinese official language) is butchered as much as English. And even their own local language is a mess, mixed with 10-30% English words, simple words like ‘fing’ (friend), ‘sheetorbilee’ (strawberry). I doubt even God knew what they’re saying.

  54. Snufleupagus | 7:52 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I don’t believe the English translates the Chinese characters. I think it refers to the pink logo on the upper right showing the one eyed man with the third leg.

  55. NeoSaturos123 | 9:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @Sam Dunno, try the seafood restaurant.

  56. Search Ithelegoman on YouTube | 7:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Oops.

  57. Tatarujin | 2:11 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    ♪ Ooou you touch my tralala
    My ding ding dong ♫

  58. Audinac | 10:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll take two!

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