Vegan bacon available upon request

posted on 25 Oct 2013 in Chinglish, Menus

Chicken:  “I was told I wouldn’t be eaten…”

Photo courtesy of Fleur Verbiest.
Menu found in Beijing, China. 

31 captions

  1. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:09 am |

    – Medium-itchy, please.

  2. algernon | 4:09 am |

    Sorry I can’t stomach this!

  3. algernon | 4:10 am |

    Better than irritable vegetable bowel

  4. Mick | 4:16 am |

    If symptoms persist, please see your local chef.

  5. Big Fat Cat | 4:17 am |

    When you have chicken served to a vegetarian, they got irritated and agitated.

  6. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:18 am |

    – Waiter! Don’t you have a chicken who eats meat?

  7. Droll not Troll | 4:19 am |

    Yes, I suppose a plate of chicken gizzard would irritate a vegetarian.

  8. Lollerskate | 4:23 am |

    After having your temples exploded time and time again, you’d be irritated too!

  9. JohnZ | 4:24 am |

    “You are what you eat” the chef said to some irritated vegetarian customers who complained.

  10. Droll not Troll | 4:24 am |

    You have to admire that chicken, it had a lot of guts.

  11. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:39 am |

    – Would you like something to drink, Sir?
    – Scratch, please.

  12. mickeygreeneyes | 4:52 am |

    Just do one more of those “funny” clucks and I’ll rip your f—-ing face off!

  13. Droll not Troll | 5:13 am |

    I’ll have the laid-back, carnivorous chicken gizzard.

  14. jjhitt | 5:17 am |

    Freshly plucked from our organic gizzard garden.

  15. Droll not Troll | 5:24 am |

    When there’s German type sexual harassment in the kitchen, it’s not surprising that some of the other dishes are irritable.

  16. Sparky | 6:38 am |

    Is an irritable chicken the same as an angry cock? Just wondering.

  17. Chris | 7:08 am |

    @ Sparky: No, that’s a pissed off chicken.

  18. WorrierPrincess | 7:17 am |

    We use only humanely euthanized tofurkeys. So don’t be irritated.

  19. Seventy2rd o clock | 7:18 am |

    Approved by Veteran Vegetarian Veterinarians

  20. Cecily | 7:24 am |

    ♫It’s a chic-ken gizzard, there has to be a twist
    A chic-ken gizzard, there ain’t no meat in this!

    Why do you think they did it? (I don’t know!)
    But it’s not so good

    It’s a to-fu gizzard, and it makes me mad
    It’s a to-fu gizzard, and it tastes real bad!♫

  21. Lora | 8:53 am |

    Everyone keeps saying “tastes like chicken”. That’s why it’s so irritated.

  22. Biff the Understudy | 9:24 am |

    Irritable chicken must be a close relative of Chicken Rude and Unreasonable.

  23. Todd | 10:34 am |

    Everyone knows that this dish is a treatment for irritable bowl syndrome. It keeps all the bowls nice and happy.

  24. Marum | 11:55 am |

    That would be a bit of a grind.

  25. Droll not Troll | 5:59 pm |

    @Cecily: Good one! I knew there had to be a gizzard/wizard joke here somewhere.

  26. Droll not Troll | 6:02 pm |

    @Sparky: I dunno; that’s a hard one. 😛

  27. Marum | 12:44 am |

    It’s not the chicken who is irritable.
    It’s the Chef.
    He is irritable, ignoble, incompetent, and incontinent.
    Don’t drink the gravy.

  28. Marum | 1:30 am |

    The Song of The Mock Chicken.

    ♫ Beautiful gizzard so lovely and fresh,
    Lovingly made without any flesh,

    Chorus: Beautiful bountiful stew,
    Beautiful bountiful stew.


    Beautiful gizzard so tasty and sweet,
    Carefully made out of Soy and Buckwheat.


    Beautiful gizzard so wholesome and pure,
    Seasoned with cow dung and horse manure.


  29. sungrasses | 11:08 am |

    chinese restaurateurs like to note on their menus the final emotion of each animal before it was butchered for your plate.

  30. sungrasses | 11:13 am |

    “our menu is categorized by emotion, so that you may taste the displeasure of our livestock.”

  31. Hairy Potter | 9:56 pm |

    Irritable Chicken Syndrome

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