I haven’t been feeling myself lately…

Do it mutually

I don’t know where you have been!

Is this a craft shop? That’s where I usually go to get felt.

Your staff will touch my staff? That sounds fair.

Oh my god! He’s got a gun!
No, I am just pleased to see you.

Just staff yourself

Generously tip.

Our staff will gladly give you a helping hand.

Wow! You’re a hottie! But would you please put those knitting needles down before you start . . . you know . . . working on my problem?

Let’s all give a hand to our first customer!

While there’s plenty of porn online, there’s always something to be said for brick-and-mortar stores.

They’re not very subtle about being a front for a bordello.

Full Service

Hot Staff
♪♪
Lookin’ for some hot staff, baby, this feelin’
I need some hot staff, baby, to touch
I want to touch staff, baby, this feelin’
I need hot staff, myself to touch

Gotta touch some hot staff
Gotta have to touch myself
Don’t touch hot staff, don’t touch yourself
Gotta ask hot staff

Thank you… ♪

I’m Wilson Phillips and I approve this message.

Must be a pet store.

My name is Rick. I’ll be servicing you today,.

Ask the staff. They are old hands at this kind of job.

Just like the new Woody Allen movie.

Hey Honey I F—– the Kids.

The staff at Onan’s did not support self-service.

If you want touchless service, ask the owner. He can blow dry you in seconds.

If you a near the air-conditioning plant, watch out for the big blower.

We had a burglar in last week. He had had a vasectomy, and had become a safe-blower.

PROTIP: Thank them after the act, too. No one wants to feel dirty afterwards.

Our staff takes a hands-on approach to customer service.

We can not speak English but we can feel you!!

Whether I touch myself or touch the staff the result is the same if I do it too much things get over agitated and there’s spit in my eye.

How DARE you tell me what (not) to do with my own body!!

I think I’ll pass this time, last time I got a staff infection.

Thanks, but I’ll just stay in the lip service line.

‘local Bordello trials new subtle advertisement campaign’

Don’t touch the staff, either.

Where can I get some damn service around here??

you have to buy me a drink first

Our staff will leave you satisfied.

See me, feel me, touch me, heal me…