I haven’t been feeling myself lately…

posted on 18 Nov 2013 in Signs

I’ll let you know if I need a hand…

Photo courtesy of Will T.

36 captions

  1. algernon | 4:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 19  Subtract rating 0  

    Do it mutually

  2. Tong | 4:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    I don’t know where you have been!

  3. Droll not Troll | 4:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 87  Subtract rating 1  

    Is this a craft shop? That’s where I usually go to get felt.

  4. Droll not Troll | 4:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 43  Subtract rating 0  

    Your staff will touch my staff? That sounds fair.

  5. Tong | 4:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    Oh my god! He’s got a gun!
    No, I am just pleased to see you.

  6. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Just staff yourself

  7. jjhitt | 5:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Generously tip.

  8. DrLex | 5:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 22  Subtract rating 0  

    Our staff will gladly give you a helping hand.

  9. MICKEYGREENEYES | 5:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    Wow! You’re a hottie! But would you please put those knitting needles down before you start . . . you know . . . working on my problem?

  10. Sparky | 5:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Let’s all give a hand to our first customer!

  11. Ben | 6:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 20  Subtract rating 0  

    While there’s plenty of porn online, there’s always something to be said for brick-and-mortar stores.

  12. A Non-Y Mouse | 6:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    They’re not very subtle about being a front for a bordello.

  13. davonblr | 6:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Full Service

  14. Seventy2rd o clock | 7:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Hot Staff
    ♪♪
    Lookin’ for some hot staff, baby, this feelin’
    I need some hot staff, baby, to touch
    I want to touch staff, baby, this feelin’
    I need hot staff, myself to touch

    Gotta touch some hot staff
    Gotta have to touch myself
    Don’t touch hot staff, don’t touch yourself
    Gotta ask hot staff

    Thank you… ♪

  15. Chris | 8:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I’m Wilson Phillips and I approve this message.

  16. Yu No Hoo | 8:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 1  

    Must be a pet store.

  17. Chuck | 8:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    My name is Rick. I’ll be servicing you today,.

  18. Biff the Understudy | 9:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Ask the staff. They are old hands at this kind of job.

  19. Marum | 9:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 10  

    Just like the new Woody Allen movie.

    Hey Honey I F—– the Kids.

  20. coffeebot | 9:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    The staff at Onan’s did not support self-service.

  21. Big Fat Cat | 9:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    If you want touchless service, ask the owner. He can blow dry you in seconds.

  22. Marum | 9:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    If you a near the air-conditioning plant, watch out for the big blower.

  23. Marum | 10:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    We had a burglar in last week. He had had a vasectomy, and had become a safe-blower.

  24. Lollerskate | 12:03 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    PROTIP: Thank them after the act, too. No one wants to feel dirty afterwards.

  25. Cecily | 12:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    Our staff takes a hands-on approach to customer service.

  26. Vulcan64 | 1:53 pm |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    We can not speak English but we can feel you!!

  27. Nonsuch Ned | 4:22 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Whether I touch myself or touch the staff the result is the same if I do it too much things get over agitated and there’s spit in my eye.

  28. Peter | 4:48 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    How DARE you tell me what (not) to do with my own body!!

  29. Timmy | 6:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    I think I’ll pass this time, last time I got a staff infection.

  30. Sparky | 8:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Thanks, but I’ll just stay in the lip service line.

  31. Mark | 10:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    ‘local Bordello trials new subtle advertisement campaign’

  32. tadchem | 1:11 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t touch the staff, either.

  33. Casey83 | 10:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Where can I get some damn service around here??

  34. fdm1989 | 12:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    you have to buy me a drink first

  35. urleec | 5:08 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Our staff will leave you satisfied.

  36. TS | 1:42 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    See me, feel me, touch me, heal me…

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