Hold on to your psychopaths

posted on 4 Jun 2014 in Chinglish, Instructions

Photo courtesy of Jonathan Goodchild.
Spotted in China. 

46 captions

  1. jjhitt | 4:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 66  Subtract rating 2  

    Hey! Morons have rights too!

  2. jjhitt | 4:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 2  

    ♫ Who’s the cat that won’t cop out
    When there’s treads all about
    (Shaft!)
    Right on ♫

  3. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 9  

    d) The Spermen.

  4. Big Fat Cat | 4:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 24  Subtract rating 1  

    Attention Morons and Psychopaths: If you don’t have anyone to accompany you, you can go to the admin office on G/F to hire one during your pleasant trip in the elevator.

  5. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 2  

    NOTE: Not following, blind, pregnant hypertensive psychopaths suffering morons under 7 must not be accompanied.

  6. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 1  

    – Mommy! I see playing in the car door!

  7. algernon | 4:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 2  

    Well just be careful of the morons and psycopaths

  8. Droll not Troll | 4:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 31  Subtract rating 2  

    When morons and psychopaths are following people, it’s time to start worrying!

  9. algernon | 4:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 2  

    Morons are people too.

  10. Droll not Troll | 4:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 5  

    No crossing the safety window, it isn’t Catholic.

  11. Peter | 4:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 1  

    Amalgamated Association of Morons, Local 6-7/8!

  12. Droll not Troll | 4:37 am |  Vote: Add rating 44  Subtract rating 3  

    A moron and a psychopath walked into an elevator. The elevator driver asked “Are you two together?” The psychopath replied “No, we’re crazy, we just want to accompany each other”.

  13. DrLex | 4:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 58  Subtract rating 1  

    Is “The Blind, the Pregnant, the Moron and the Psychopath” one of Sergio Leone’s lesser-known films?

  14. Droll not Troll | 4:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 2  

    Naturally, rule 6 also applies to people who want to get pregnant in the elevator.

  15. Stopchicks | 4:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 35  Subtract rating 1  

    Luckily for me, I’m just an idiot.

  16. jjhitt | 4:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 22  Subtract rating 2  

    A pregnant woman, a blind guy, a moron and a psychopath got on an elevator together. The blind guy said “It’s OK, were going as far as the next joke.”

  17. Frank Burns | 5:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 35  Subtract rating 1  

    Hi! I’m a psychopath. Want to go for a ride on the elevator with me?

  18. GwydionM | 6:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 2  

    Oh give me a car door
    In the spirit of Mordor
    Where the moron and psychopath play
    (To tune of “where the buffalo roam, and accompanied with jumping.)

  19. Sparky | 7:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 19  Subtract rating 1  

    Moron this later.

  20. Dervrak | 7:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 34  Subtract rating 1  

    So does that mean if you are a blind, pregnant, moronic psychopath, who suffers from heart disease and hypertension, you need to be accompanied by a minimum of six people?

  21. A Non-Y Mouse | 7:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 20  Subtract rating 1  

    Another variation on the fox, goat, and grain crossing the river puzzle.

  22. Marum | 8:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Why can’t my local member ride in the lift with me?

  23. Marum | 8:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    This is like the first time I read the ad for a – Solar Powered Torch.
    My first thought was; Why would you want a torch for in daytime?
    Then sanity prevailed.

  24. Kiobada | 9:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 39  Subtract rating 1  

    Ok. You are an armed security guard
    You have a blind person, a pregnant woman, a psychopath, and a moron sitting on top of a high building. You have io get them into the back of your lockable security van, to get them all to hospital.

    1. You can’t leave the blind man alone on top of the building because he may fall off.
    2. You can’t leave the moron alone for he will wander off, and get lost.
    3. You can’t leave the pregnant woman alone because she is due to give birth shortly
    4. You cant leave the psychopath alone with any one person because he will kill them, although if he is with two or more other people he won’t try to. As you are armed you are safe alone with him.

    How do you get them all into your van.

  25. Kiobada | 9:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 1  

    Also I forgot. You can’t leave the moron alone with the pregnant woman because he would be no help if she started to give birth.

  26. Kiobada | 9:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 1  

    Oh also. You can only take a maximum of two people with you at any time

  27. Seventy2rd o clock | 10:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 1  

    That’s why we are scared of the elevators

  28. Chuck | 10:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 18  Subtract rating 1  

    Great ! I finally get to wear my “I’m with Stupid” shirt again !

  29. Marum | 11:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 1  

    “THE” moron.
    You mean to imply, that they only have one in the whole of Japan.

  30. Marum | 11:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I tried jumping up and down in a lift to see what would happen. It triggered the safety switch, and the lift stopped. Being an engineer I thought it would probably be a mercury Switch, like the “TILT” switch on a Pinball Machine. However, not so. It did not reset itself.
    So I had to ring emergency service.
    The good part was, I then lay down on the floor, and had 3/4 of an hour’s sleep, on the bosses time.

  31. Casey83 | 11:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    I say let the morons go!

  32. WildaBeast | 12:05 pm |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    Sorry, Dexter, I can’t let you on the elevator by yourself.

  33. Auntie | 1:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    China has too many rules, but the Commentors today had a field day!

  34. Mr. Wrong | 8:46 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Curb your moron.

  35. EffEff | 9:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    I thought they were called politicians.

  36. Teal Glue | 4:28 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 1  

    Elevators: Normal People
    Morons: The Stairs

  37. Don | 5:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I do believe I will be taking the stairs.

  38. sirpaulfan | 12:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    But cripples ride for free!!

  39. Lucano | 5:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    My psychopath is a very good pet

  40. Dag Kristiansen | 12:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Sounds like a great sequel to the good, the bad, and the ugly!

  41. Audinac | 9:56 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I can just imagine travelling with all these in the elevator. Hey lady, move over! I can’t see! HELP! Oh my god I’m having contractions! Lets put a smile on that FACE!

  42. kt | 4:28 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Always accompany the psychopath and they won’t be so psychopathicky

  43. thedonger | 11:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 1  

    But if someone has to accompany Rob Ford that could very well push the occupancy weight past the limit.

  44. Christine | 11:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 1  

    But….but….but, I LIKE touching the operational parts!!

  45. DragonZap | 5:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Please do not leave morons unattended. All unattended morons will be brought into custody.

  46. RocketCat | 12:45 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Sir?… SIR!!! This is your last warning! Stop treading the shaft door!

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