Hold on to your psychopaths

posted on 4 Jun 2014 in Chinglish, Instructions

Photo courtesy of Jonathan Goodchild.
Spotted in China. 

46 captions

  1. jjhitt | 4:03 am |

    Hey! Morons have rights too!

  2. jjhitt | 4:08 am |

    ♫ Who’s the cat that won’t cop out
    When there’s treads all about
    Right on ♫

  3. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:09 am |

    d) The Spermen.

  4. Big Fat Cat | 4:13 am |

    Attention Morons and Psychopaths: If you don’t have anyone to accompany you, you can go to the admin office on G/F to hire one during your pleasant trip in the elevator.

  5. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:14 am |

    NOTE: Not following, blind, pregnant hypertensive psychopaths suffering morons under 7 must not be accompanied.

  6. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:17 am |

    – Mommy! I see playing in the car door!

  7. algernon | 4:25 am |

    Well just be careful of the morons and psycopaths

  8. Droll not Troll | 4:26 am |

    When morons and psychopaths are following people, it’s time to start worrying!

  9. algernon | 4:26 am |

    Morons are people too.

  10. Droll not Troll | 4:27 am |

    No crossing the safety window, it isn’t Catholic.

  11. Peter | 4:37 am |

    Amalgamated Association of Morons, Local 6-7/8!

  12. Droll not Troll | 4:37 am |

    A moron and a psychopath walked into an elevator. The elevator driver asked “Are you two together?” The psychopath replied “No, we’re crazy, we just want to accompany each other”.

  13. DrLex | 4:42 am |

    Is “The Blind, the Pregnant, the Moron and the Psychopath” one of Sergio Leone’s lesser-known films?

  14. Droll not Troll | 4:43 am |

    Naturally, rule 6 also applies to people who want to get pregnant in the elevator.

  15. Stopchicks | 4:45 am |

    Luckily for me, I’m just an idiot.

  16. jjhitt | 4:52 am |

    A pregnant woman, a blind guy, a moron and a psychopath got on an elevator together. The blind guy said “It’s OK, were going as far as the next joke.”

  17. Frank Burns | 5:30 am |

    Hi! I’m a psychopath. Want to go for a ride on the elevator with me?

  18. GwydionM | 6:25 am |

    Oh give me a car door
    In the spirit of Mordor
    Where the moron and psychopath play
    (To tune of “where the buffalo roam, and accompanied with jumping.)

  19. Sparky | 7:05 am |

    Moron this later.

  20. Dervrak | 7:19 am |

    So does that mean if you are a blind, pregnant, moronic psychopath, who suffers from heart disease and hypertension, you need to be accompanied by a minimum of six people?

  21. A Non-Y Mouse | 7:56 am |

    Another variation on the fox, goat, and grain crossing the river puzzle.

  22. Marum | 8:44 am |

    Why can’t my local member ride in the lift with me?

  23. Marum | 8:50 am |

    This is like the first time I read the ad for a – Solar Powered Torch.
    My first thought was; Why would you want a torch for in daytime?
    Then sanity prevailed.

  24. Kiobada | 9:40 am |

    Ok. You are an armed security guard
    You have a blind person, a pregnant woman, a psychopath, and a moron sitting on top of a high building. You have io get them into the back of your lockable security van, to get them all to hospital.

    1. You can’t leave the blind man alone on top of the building because he may fall off.
    2. You can’t leave the moron alone for he will wander off, and get lost.
    3. You can’t leave the pregnant woman alone because she is due to give birth shortly
    4. You cant leave the psychopath alone with any one person because he will kill them, although if he is with two or more other people he won’t try to. As you are armed you are safe alone with him.

    How do you get them all into your van.

  25. Kiobada | 9:42 am |

    Also I forgot. You can’t leave the moron alone with the pregnant woman because he would be no help if she started to give birth.

  26. Kiobada | 9:50 am |

    Oh also. You can only take a maximum of two people with you at any time

  27. Seventy2rd o clock | 10:09 am |

    That’s why we are scared of the elevators

  28. Chuck | 10:44 am |

    Great ! I finally get to wear my “I’m with Stupid” shirt again !

  29. Marum | 11:02 am |

    “THE” moron.
    You mean to imply, that they only have one in the whole of Japan.

  30. Marum | 11:15 am |

    I tried jumping up and down in a lift to see what would happen. It triggered the safety switch, and the lift stopped. Being an engineer I thought it would probably be a mercury Switch, like the “TILT” switch on a Pinball Machine. However, not so. It did not reset itself.
    So I had to ring emergency service.
    The good part was, I then lay down on the floor, and had 3/4 of an hour’s sleep, on the bosses time.

  31. Casey83 | 11:20 am |

    I say let the morons go!

  32. WildaBeast | 12:05 pm |

    Sorry, Dexter, I can’t let you on the elevator by yourself.

  33. Auntie | 1:57 pm |

    China has too many rules, but the Commentors today had a field day!

  34. Mr. Wrong | 8:46 pm |

    Curb your moron.

  35. EffEff | 9:10 am |

    I thought they were called politicians.

  36. Teal Glue | 4:28 pm |

    Elevators: Normal People
    Morons: The Stairs

  37. Don | 5:15 am |

    I do believe I will be taking the stairs.

  38. sirpaulfan | 12:12 am |

    But cripples ride for free!!

  39. Lucano | 5:47 pm |

    My psychopath is a very good pet

  40. Dag Kristiansen | 12:55 am |

    Sounds like a great sequel to the good, the bad, and the ugly!

  41. Audinac | 9:56 pm |

    I can just imagine travelling with all these in the elevator. Hey lady, move over! I can’t see! HELP! Oh my god I’m having contractions! Lets put a smile on that FACE!

  42. kt | 4:28 pm |

    Always accompany the psychopath and they won’t be so psychopathicky

  43. thedonger | 11:31 am |

    But if someone has to accompany Rob Ford that could very well push the occupancy weight past the limit.

  44. Christine | 11:56 am |

    But….but….but, I LIKE touching the operational parts!!

  45. DragonZap | 5:31 pm |

    Please do not leave morons unattended. All unattended morons will be brought into custody.

  46. RocketCat | 12:45 pm |

    Sir?… SIR!!! This is your last warning! Stop treading the shaft door!

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