He’s no dummy

How does he do it with hands in the back?

Prostate stimulation, I’m guessing.

Excuse me, I have to slip into the fitting room for a couple of minutes….

Did he……F….himself?!

Hmmm… I always heard that makes you go blind, not bald.

Just give him a hand

He looks it

The best solution if you bore everyone else.

Is that a gun in his pocket, or is he just glad to see himself?

They sell dildos.

According to the belt, he never finished the business.

I think he’s ded.

The hair goes from the head to the hands.

A big, sparkly earring would really complete the outfit.

SELF MADE IN CHINA

A homosexual bloke is checking out his bum in a mirror, when he gets an erection.

He straightens up, puts down the mirror, gives it a light slap, and says: “SILLY BOY! That’s us.”

Dummies really don’t have one.

It is like all those years ago, when the nun’s went around snapping the Penii (penises?) off the stone statues.

I have the slightly hysterical thought, of somewhere in the dim dusty archives at the Vatican, several boxes of stone Penii lurking, awaiting the advent, of a saviour armed with masking tape and Ceramic Adhedsive. 😆

DEPARTMENT OF FAIR TRADING

Regulation 14.6 Section A: All store dummies have to be freshly stuffed by the Window Dresser, every Monday morning.

Obviously he couldn’t find any socks, so he used Salamis.

You Must Be Self Satisfied!

EDIT Adhesive.

I coat my peas with Superglue, I never do too many.
I coat my peas with Superglue, and stick them to my Granny.

@PeeBee. If you know a Gypsy man, and you are getting green marks on the inside of your thighs…you can tell him his earrings aren’t real gold.

Well, mannequins are usually big and hard…

Coming in a store near you!

He has to. Anyone who stimulates him would be guilty of statuary rape.

NOTE: All our precious customers are kindly asked to go f*** themselves

@Marum: re Vatican comment — don’t give Dan Brown any ideas.

These dummies are very well designed. They only have one problem. After hours, we often find one of our staff members stuck on them.

“Fully functional”

I didn’t think they made mannequins out of wood anymore.

@Marum: i think the plural of penis is penes. I did Latin at high school but I don’t recall that word being in the syllabus. ;

“A hard man is good to find”
-Mae West.

I’ve heard of self excited generators and alternators. The question is, is he AC or DC?

If you make yourself “self excited” too much, you turn into a mannequin.

@ Tong: He’s so excited, he’s crapping his hands.

What’s with the curious bulge in the shirt heading off to its right? Is the mannequin right-handed? And is it trying to hide its hairy palms?

@DnT Thanks mate. I will now sit down and have a martinus. (I’m only having one) From Wayne and Shuster’s skit, Rinse The Blood Off My Toga. ie. “Julie don’t go.”

Self-Excitement for Dummies