Hand picked

posted on 19 Feb 2015 in Chinglish, Menus

Guaranteed wiped until the paper came clean.

Photo courtesy of JayShoe.
Menu found in Taiwan. 

63 captions

  1. Huu Yuu | 4:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 0  

    This meat is guaranteed to taste like chicken ass

  2. Huu Yuu | 4:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    This goes good with love beer

  3. algernon | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 23  Subtract rating 0  

    This is a real bummer

  4. Huu Yuu | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    I don’t want to know what rectum meat looks like when it goes through the rectum

  5. algernon | 4:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Cut into rings for your convenience.

  6. algernon | 4:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Finger licking good

  7. Huu Yuu | 4:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Rectum meat is what happens when cars wreck ’em.

  8. Droll not Troll | 4:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    You idiot! Spent all that time selecting um and then rectum.

  9. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    – Rectum Mortis, Rectum Ex Machina or Rectum non supra grammaticos, Sir?

  10. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 0  

    Mmmm … A bowel of rectum!

  11. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 20  Subtract rating 0  

    – Sweetie, keep your fingers out of your rectum!

  12. timmy | 4:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    Ugh, me selectum something else?

  13. Peter | 4:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 1  

    Selected for someone else…I’m DE-selecting it.

  14. DrLex | 4:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    This is a dish that definitely kicks some serious rectum.

  15. timmy | 4:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    I always wondered what happened to the leftovers
    after my colostomy surgery.

  16. jjhitt | 4:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    Happy New Year to all China person!

  17. jjhitt | 4:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 20  Subtract rating 0  

    Meat. It’s what’s for dinner, assh*le.

  18. DrLex | 5:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 20  Subtract rating 0  

    What worries me most is that I see the character for ‘fragrant’ in the Chinese description.

  19. jjhitt | 5:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    With two orders you get corn on the cob.

  20. jjhitt | 5:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    This is my rectum. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
    My rectum is my best friend. It is my life.
    My rectum, without me, is useless. Without my rectum, I am useless.

  21. jjhitt | 5:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    [This is very scary. Yesterday it was beer and I could think of nothing. Today it’s rectums and I am overflowing.]

  22. DrLex | 5:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    @jjhitt: is it you that is overflowing, or your rectum?

  23. Big Fat Cat | 5:38 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 1  

    Selected from Gay Man’s Recipe.

  24. Droll not Troll | 5:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 0  

    If you order this you’ll have to eat the hole thing.

  25. Droll not Troll | 5:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    Recommended by inhabitants of Uranus.

  26. Droll not Troll | 5:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    It’s an outlet for the chef’s creative talents.

  27. Droll not Troll | 5:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    The good news is that it isn’t served with gravy.

  28. Droll not Troll | 5:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Is there a heavy metal band somewhere searching for a name?

  29. Droll not Troll | 6:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 0  

    I had a boss who would love this. He was always chewing my arse out.

  30. J-Luke | 7:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    Now that’s what I call a cheap ass menu…

  31. A Non-Y Mouse | 8:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    OMG they actually do look ring-shaped, like sliced calamari.

    I’m thinking this is not an example of Engrish but rather an entirely accurate translation.

  32. Marum | 8:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    I may never eat Squid Rings again.

  33. Marum | 8:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    @Huu Yuu. Often happens when you are too drunk to aim properly.

  34. Marum | 8:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 1  

    Don’t they call ’em grits in the southern states? (USA)

  35. Marum | 8:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    If so; It looks like the Lower Tract.

  36. Marum | 9:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 2  

    A saucy young lass from Taiwan,
    Woke her lover at the night for some fun,
    But his aim was so poor,
    That he wrecked her back-door,
    And brought her completely undone.

  37. EffEff | 9:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Mmmmmmmmmmm, rectum!

  38. Jimmy | 10:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    That’s intestine, so the translation isn’t all that bad

  39. Seventy2rd o clock | 1:05 pm |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    It selects the rectum or its skin, or else it gets the hose again

  40. Ben | 1:28 pm |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum: Nope, that’s chittlin’s. Grits are ground corn.

  41. Biff the Understudy | 3:06 pm |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    @Ben: or perhaps, in this case, undigested corn.

  42. Stargazer143Orion | 4:41 pm |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Did they selectum BEFORE they wreckedum?

  43. Sparky | 5:28 pm |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    Rectum? Damn near killed em.

  44. Mr. Wrong | 7:58 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Only the best recta for our customers, hand-picked by the owner.

  45. Mr. Wrong | 7:59 pm |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    You didn’t like that dish, Sir? Our chef can come out and cut you a new rectum.

  46. Lora | 8:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    “Here is your dinner. Ah so!”
    “Who you callin’ an ah so, ah so?”

  47. Droll not Troll | 9:26 pm |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 1  

    I hope it doesn’t include cream of sum yung gai!

  48. iLock | 10:04 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Our selected rectum, we inspect ’em, ‘n’ don’t wreck ’em.

  49. Droll not Troll | 12:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    Not to be confused with the elected rectums who think they run the country.

  50. Droll not Troll | 12:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Some times the rectums are injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected, but only at Alice’s restaurant.

  51. Seventy2rd o clock | 3:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Lorem Rectum …

  52. Robert C | 10:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Just hope that yours has been selected.

  53. Filboid | 7:22 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Could I get a side order of bogroll with that, please? Err, I mean eggroll.

  54. Craig | 6:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Apparently hog rectums are exported to the Far East:

    “Bung, his friend replied. It’s hog rectum. Rectum that would be sliced into rings, deep fried, and boom.”

    http://m.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/484/transcript

  55. Marum | 12:08 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    @Ben Thanks mate. We are two countries separated by a common language. :)

  56. Marum | 1:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    @seventy 2rd

    Non gradus anus rodentus.

  57. Marum | 1:53 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    @ sevent 2rd.
    I like the one ; The rectum is not above the grammarians.

    (Neither was Caesar) ie. Caesar non supra gramaticos.

    Or are you implying that the two are interchangeable. 😈

  58. Marum | 2:03 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Rectum ex machine = A—holes appearing by totally unexpected methods.

  59. Marum | 2:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Edit: ex machina.

  60. mike | 10:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    When you want only the finest piece of ass.

  61. Marco | 3:55 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Well at least it’s selected.

  62. Sean | 9:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Served with dingleberry chutney, perhaps?

  63. Ben | 9:10 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Be honest, you’re really not that selective.

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