The fish suck anyway…

posted on 14 Feb 2015 in Chinglish, Menus

Photo courtesy of Rasmus Mortensen.
Menu spotted in Yangshuo, China.

50 captions

  1. Huu Yuu | 4:05 am |

    The fragrance of dog breath or fragrance of wet dog?

  2. Huu Yuu | 4:06 am |

    Male and female shrimp crabs are the ones screwing….the fish

  3. Huu Yuu | 4:07 am |

    What part of the snail is the chicken?

  4. Huu Yuu | 4:09 am |

    The food on this menu would make my intestine spicy… and upset

  5. Droll not Troll | 4:23 am |

    Screw the fish? Well, OK, just for the halibut.

  6. Droll not Troll | 4:26 am |

    *Insert “My dog has no nose” joke here*

  7. Droll not Troll | 4:32 am |

    Q. Why did the snail cross the road?
    A. To get to the Shell station.

  8. Droll not Troll | 4:38 am |

    Don’t need to screw it, it’s a blowfish.

  9. Diego | 4:39 am |

    “Waiter! There’s a normal-sounding item on your menu!”

    “A thousand pardons, sir – I’ll have that changed to ‘Innards set tongue on combustion’ right away.”

  10. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:41 am |

    I’d rather screw driver

  11. timmy | 4:46 am |

    Truth in advertising at the Chinese buffet.

  12. timmy | 4:49 am |

    I’m afraid of fish.
    They call me “chicken of the sea”.

  13. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:54 am |

    Snail (from Wikipedia):

    The snail (Gallus gallus domesticus) is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the Red Junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more snails in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep snails primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs … Recent genetic studies have pointed to multiple maternal origins in Southeast, East, and South Asia … In the UK and Ireland adult male snails over the age of one year are primarily known as cocks …

  14. algernon | 5:36 am |

    A smorgasbord of things you can’t eat

  15. algernon | 5:37 am |

    The spicy intestine and fragrance of dog sound nice

  16. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:54 am |

    Weird … They misspelled ‘crab’

  17. Frank Burns | 6:10 am |

    Ask any mermaid you happen to see, “What’s the best escargot?” Chicken of the snails!

  18. Frank Burns | 6:25 am |

    I’ll have the fragrance od dog, extra wet please.

  19. tankero | 7:12 am |

    Old MacSnail had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.
    And on that farm he had a chicken, E-I-E-I-O.

  20. jjhitt | 7:33 am |

    Welcome to the Gilman House. Enjoy your stay in Innsmouth.
    (Obscure literary reference.)

  21. jjhitt | 7:34 am |

    It’s the fragrance of the dog that tells you how spicy the intestines are.

  22. jjhitt | 8:10 am |

    @Seventy2rd o clock : So, snails are cocks, the fish are screwing and dog did something unmentionable. This isn’t a buffet, it’s an orgy.

  23. coffeebot | 9:19 am |

    Sir, I’ll have to charge you extra for the shrimp crab that spawned on your plate.

  24. Big Fat Cat | 9:46 am |

    Parfum de Chien – Inspired by Christian Dior

  25. Droll not Troll | 10:58 am |

    Recipe for the fragrance of dog:
    1. Boil some chicken
    2. Feed it to a pit bull or similar dog.
    3. Wait a couple of hours.
    4. P U!

  26. Droll not Troll | 10:59 am |

    That recipe works, I know from experience!

  27. J-Luke | 12:13 pm |

    …I’m going home.

  28. Salome | 1:05 pm |

    I would like the fragrance of dog with spicy intestine–and an isolation booth.

  29. Classic Steve | 1:58 pm |

    “I could order the Screw the Fish, or I could go to the restaurant down the street and get F*** the Duck Until Exploded. Decisions, decisions.”

  30. sirpaulfan | 3:07 pm |

    No thanks, my intestines are already a little spicy.

  31. Chris | 4:02 pm |

    I think the translator was trying to say “scrod.”

  32. Lora | 4:10 pm |

    When a snail was brought to the hospital after being run over by a turtle, he said, “It all happened so fast”.

  33. Droll not Troll | 5:20 pm |

    @Huu Yuu | 4:07 am: Have you ever seen the cock of a snail? 😉

  34. kioku | 6:01 pm |

    Since the dog had been drinking the eau de toi·lette for years it was high time it got a frangrance line it could call its own.

  35. Seventy2rd o clock | 2:36 am |

    @ jjhitt: Of course in that inevitable Suck Ho style.

  36. Seventy2rd o clock | 3:35 am |

    It’s the Fish called Wanda.

  37. Marum | 9:05 am |

    When asked how a cargo of snails got lost.

    An Australia Post spokesman said: ” We had the little buggers cornered. Then, with an amazing burst of speed, they outdistanced us.”

  38. Marum | 9:06 am |

    I assume its “Wet Dog”.

  39. Lollerskate | 2:43 pm |

    Maybe they mixed up the translated menu with the translated diary of an increasingly maddened stranded sailor.

  40. Mr. Wrong | 4:09 pm |

    Suddenly I’m not that hungry anymore.

  41. Tom Hunter | 11:04 pm |

    The shirt is right:

  42. tai fu | 10:45 pm |

    The Chinese really did say dog meat… supposed to mean some dog meat cooked in barley or something.

  43. mamat | 1:36 am |

    I smell something fishy… about the dog….

  44. Tim | 7:04 pm |

    They really want you to eat the shrimp crab, I think.

  45. JohnCook | 2:01 pm |

    The “fragrance of dog” . Would that be the fragrance dogs enjoy when meeting each other?

  46. Daniel Prince | 11:42 pm |

    Should I be scared the only proper English on the menu is ‘screw the fish’ and ‘fragrance of dog’ and why such a fancy word for fragrance of dog? are they hinting that’s the best? or just being honest? maybe both?

  47. Newbie | 10:57 pm |

    “Honey, I warned you about having ‘fragrance of dog’ and ‘spicy intestine’ tonight. You know your stomach is bad. Now hurry up so I can shower.”

  48. Newbie | 11:01 pm |

    “Daddy! Daddy! I found this thing in the treasure chest! What does ‘Screw the Fish’ mean?”
    “Well, child, when your daddy-fish was young, he needed a way to pay his way through college….”

  49. The Dude | 12:45 pm |

    Screw the Fish – 50
    Male and Female Shrimp Crab – 88
    Screw the Male and Female – (somewhere in between, say 69)

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