This can used!

posted on 3 Oct 2015 in Chinglish, Instructions

I-know-how-to-use-it-now

Body on the terrace or we don’t have a live deal…

Photo courtesy Vincent.
Instructions for oil container found in China.

32 captions

  1. Huu Yuu | 4:02 am |

    You put the oil on the skin or else you get a body on the terrace again.
    — The mafia

  2. algernon | 4:02 am |

    Goes well with carpet

  3. algernon | 4:04 am |

    I’ll anticipate the oil can oe was it the sauce.

  4. Huu Yuu | 4:04 am |

    “Pour the hour of oil” … That is one huge bottle to hold that much!

  5. jjhitt | 4:06 am |

    Are we sure this isn’t a sex toy?

  6. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:07 am |

    Can oil of can, really?

  7. jjhitt | 4:08 am |

    Personal Status: Screwed Open

  8. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:14 am |

    Is it really necessary to put a body on the terrace to screw it tight?

  9. Droll not Troll | 4:14 am |

    An hour of oil is way too much. You only need minute quantities.

  10. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:21 am |

    If you try to open it, you make it opened.
    If you try to translate it, you make it can’t.

  11. Droll not Troll | 4:21 am |

    If you don’t eat your liquid, how can you drink any figs?

  12. Droll not Troll | 4:25 am |

    I faced a direction and tilted to one side but the instructions didn’t make any more sense.

  13. Droll not Troll | 4:30 am |

    The body on the terrace is nothing to do with me, officer. He tried to screw someone in the oil business.

  14. DrLex | 4:51 am |

    These are some rather saucy instructions.

  15. Big Fat Cat | 4:59 am |

    Part of sex education cirriculum in China.

  16. Big Fat Cat | 5:36 am |

    Error opening: Personal status cannot be identified.

  17. coffeebot | 8:37 am |

    The hour of oil is upon us!

  18. Tom41 | 9:53 am |

    How do you eat a liquid? Surely that should be drink? And I don’t want to think about how much oil you’d use up in an hour…

  19. Marum | 10:57 am |

    OK. Sounds clear. But what has killing your landlord, got to do with topping up your car’s oil?

  20. Marum | 11:02 am |

    OK. I tilted the container, but the oil ran on the bed. Am I supposed to invert my lover first?
    She also resent the inference, that she just lies there like a corpse.

  21. Marum | 11:08 am |

    I see! The complex’s bylaws state that doing mechanical work on the premises is prohibited. But killing the manager is a bit harsh, when I want to top up my car’s oil. Can’t I just tie a copy of the Act and the Bylaws around his neck, and chuck him in the pool.

  22. Auntie | 1:57 pm |

    At least they used the pretty Papyrus font…after that, I didn’t recognize anything on the scroll.

  23. Peter | 1:57 pm |

    Ugh. I’m only interested in the full fig and the ‘edible liquid’ . . . perhaps the fig juice?

  24. Jay | 2:51 pm |

    ♫ She put the fig in the oil can
    She drank them both up
    She saw the bodies on the terrace
    And thought that they would schtupp ♫

  25. Long Tom | 3:09 pm |

    The Chinese can-can dance!

  26. Filboid | 8:08 pm |

    What about filter? Should I screw by hand, making it with a personal status?

  27. Marum | 9:20 am |

    Whisper in their ear ‘Me gustaia joderlie” and see if thy move. If they don’t, they are surely dead.

  28. sirpaulfan | 12:27 am |

    The oil is in full fig this time of year.

  29. Marum | 2:10 pm |

    That is why penises have a knob on the end. So if oil make hand slip, you no whack self on forehead.

  30. JimS | 4:29 am |

    Officer, I have no idea how that body got on the terrace.

  31. Michael | 9:35 pm |

    What if you don’t have the time to pour the hour of oil?

  32. Crank Caller | 5:01 pm |

    Um, no thanks – I’ll go to Jiffy Lube instead.

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