Deyorm and all hell breaks loose!

posted on 14 Jan 2016 in Chinglish

operation-instruction

Photo courtesy of Kassie Cigliana.
Package found in Spain, made in China.

35 captions

  1. Huu Yuu | 4:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    And please do not get drunk before writing instructions.

  2. Huu Yuu | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 1  

    wow look at the bottom: “avoid the consumer — cheat” Some behavior, and I think these instructions are conterfeit to my plant trademark.

  3. Huu Yuu | 4:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Hardened gooes .. like dried out caramel. And I don’t even want to know what a deyorm ayion is.

  4. Huu Yuu | 4:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 0  

    tearing off its pzztage. I think that sounds painful.

  5. algernon | 4:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    For use on nylo

  6. algernon | 4:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Could be a a dyke than a gooes

  7. Droll not Troll | 4:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    Deyorm you, auto correct!

  8. Droll not Troll | 4:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 1  

    Near period, keep this sharp object away from the woman.

  9. jjhitt | 5:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 0  

    Tts harden with oil. And a little rubbing.

  10. jjhitt | 5:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    These aren’t ‘instructions’, they’re warnings. I’m no more knowledgeable on how to tear frutt pzztage than before I read it.

  11. Filboid | 5:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    So after Iam tearing off its pzztage it’s ok to toagh the sharp?

  12. Droll not Troll | 5:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Beyore can’t use it but maybe Binnie-the-pooh can.

  13. sirpaulfan | 5:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 1  

    Wow, I was gonna ask Hillary for help with my daily liye, but this looks like it will be cheaper!

  14. Droll not Troll | 5:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    The special steel contains no Staln or any other dead Russian leaders.

  15. DrLex | 5:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    This is severely deyormed English.

  16. Frank Burns | 6:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Bese Was happy to have a helper, even though they were a bad speller.

  17. Marum | 6:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Perfectly clear, Chang, old chap.

  18. Marum | 6:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    BUT!!! Won’t it scream when I tear off its pizzle?

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pizzle

  19. Big Fat Cat | 7:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Avoid the consumer cheat? Must be Ashley Madison.

  20. Marum | 7:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    That is coincidental. I also harden immensely, with an application of oil.

  21. Ageless | 7:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    You lost me after “The Melon”.

  22. coffeebot | 7:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Well hello, welcome to my drunk kitchen

  23. Marum | 8:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    If you steal this product, it will not leave a stain on your escutcheon.

  24. Marum | 8:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 1  

    @Ageless. Melons tend to do that, for most men. For me, it is great legs and bum. It sends my imagination into overtime.

  25. pasdrole | 8:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    It hurts so good.

  26. Seventy2rd o clock | 10:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    The pealer automatically becomes portable when hardened

  27. Seventy2rd o clock | 10:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    A pealer with sex appeal?

  28. Droll not Troll | 4:24 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 2  

    Even the photo doesn’t make sense. There are easier ways to peel tomatoes, and who peels carrots anyway??

  29. Seventy2rd o clock | 2:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 1  

    Is this an eye and lip remover with a circumcision function?

  30. Long Tom | 7:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The instruction writer must have been thinking of the Clintons-sex and lots of lies.

  31. Kioku | 1:50 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    But what do I use to tear the pzztage off my injury?

  32. Kioku | 1:53 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @droll not troll – peelinv carrots is common, infact most people peel off the outer skin. Ive never heard of peeling tomatoes though… But i dont cook much.

  33. Peter | 12:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Just yuck oyy !

  34. iLock | 6:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Looks like the bottom half of that packet could be a whole new Engrish post.

  35. Myself | 9:27 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The deyorm ayion is a negatively charged molecule made of three atoms of hydrogen and one of deyormite. It is most often caused by violent chemical reactions between pzztages (Pz2CH3) and gooes (Go3OH), most commonly found together in crappy English translations. Deyorm ayions are free radicals, since they do not have a full octet, and therefore are extremely dangerous. Remember the famous Nazi scientist Fritz Stoppensiedentonband? To this day, the German government doesn’t want you to. He was killed when, in an attempt to create a nuclear bomb, he instead released several deyorm ayions, which rapidly transformed his body and his entire lab into a cloud of oganesson.

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