Deyorm and all hell breaks loose!

posted on 14 Jan 2016 in Chinglish

operation-instruction

Photo courtesy of Kassie Cigliana.
Package found in Spain, made in China.

34 captions

  1. Huu Yuu | 4:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    And please do not get drunk before writing instructions.

  2. Huu Yuu | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 1  

    wow look at the bottom: “avoid the consumer — cheat” Some behavior, and I think these instructions are conterfeit to my plant trademark.

  3. Huu Yuu | 4:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Hardened gooes .. like dried out caramel. And I don’t even want to know what a deyorm ayion is.

  4. Huu Yuu | 4:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 0  

    tearing off its pzztage. I think that sounds painful.

  5. algernon | 4:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    For use on nylo

  6. algernon | 4:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Could be a a dyke than a gooes

  7. Droll not Troll | 4:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    Deyorm you, auto correct!

  8. Droll not Troll | 4:58 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 1  

    Near period, keep this sharp object away from the woman.

  9. jjhitt | 5:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 0  

    Tts harden with oil. And a little rubbing.

  10. jjhitt | 5:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    These aren’t ‘instructions’, they’re warnings. I’m no more knowledgeable on how to tear frutt pzztage than before I read it.

  11. Filboid | 5:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    So after Iam tearing off its pzztage it’s ok to toagh the sharp?

  12. Droll not Troll | 5:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Beyore can’t use it but maybe Binnie-the-pooh can.

  13. sirpaulfan | 5:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 1  

    Wow, I was gonna ask Hillary for help with my daily liye, but this looks like it will be cheaper!

  14. Droll not Troll | 5:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    The special steel contains no Staln or any other dead Russian leaders.

  15. DrLex | 5:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    This is severely deyormed English.

  16. Frank Burns | 6:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Bese Was happy to have a helper, even though they were a bad speller.

  17. Marum | 6:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Perfectly clear, Chang, old chap.

  18. Marum | 6:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    BUT!!! Won’t it scream when I tear off its pizzle?

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pizzle

  19. Big Fat Cat | 7:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Avoid the consumer cheat? Must be Ashley Madison.

  20. Marum | 7:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    That is coincidental. I also harden immensely, with an application of oil.

  21. Ageless | 7:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    You lost me after “The Melon”.

  22. coffeebot | 7:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Well hello, welcome to my drunk kitchen

  23. Marum | 8:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    If you steal this product, it will not leave a stain on your escutcheon.

  24. Marum | 8:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 1  

    @Ageless. Melons tend to do that, for most men. For me, it is great legs and bum. It sends my imagination into overtime.

  25. pasdrole | 8:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    It hurts so good.

  26. Seventy2rd o clock | 10:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    The pealer automatically becomes portable when hardened

  27. Seventy2rd o clock | 10:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    A pealer with sex appeal?

  28. Droll not Troll | 4:24 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 2  

    Even the photo doesn’t make sense. There are easier ways to peel tomatoes, and who peels carrots anyway??

  29. Seventy2rd o clock | 2:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 1  

    Is this an eye and lip remover with a circumcision function?

  30. Long Tom | 7:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The instruction writer must have been thinking of the Clintons-sex and lots of lies.

  31. Kioku | 1:50 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    But what do I use to tear the pzztage off my injury?

  32. Kioku | 1:53 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @droll not troll – peelinv carrots is common, infact most people peel off the outer skin. Ive never heard of peeling tomatoes though… But i dont cook much.

  33. Peter | 12:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Just yuck oyy !

  34. iLock | 6:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Looks like the bottom half of that packet could be a whole new Engrish post.

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