I don’t want to see the pilot…

posted on 3 Feb 2016 in Chinglish, Signs

service-counter-for-abnormal-flights

One way ticket?

Photo courtesy of Lane Hardy.
Found at Dalian International Airport, Dalian China.

39 captions

  1. algernon | 4:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 18  Subtract rating 0  

    The plane only has one wing

  2. algernon | 4:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    Would that be a seat on the wing sir or the tail

  3. A Non-Y Mouse | 4:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    For when you want to fly by autogyro or ornithopter.

  4. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 0  

    Also called ‘fright’

  5. Huu Yuu | 4:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    The flight is so abnormal that the entire crew wears parachutes just in case.

  6. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Take one abnormal flight, get one kamikaze flight for free!

  7. Huu Yuu | 4:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    At the counter: “I’d like to complain. The entire flight was done upside down, and my drink spiled all over the ceiling.”

  8. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 0  

    PILOT: ”Deer passengers, we are now approaching the Great Wall of China. Forget the seat belts and oxygen masks which are by the way under the sea. Goodbye and rest in pieces carefully!”

  9. Droll not Troll | 5:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Passengers can collect their wing suits at the counter.

  10. Marum | 5:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 18  Subtract rating 0  

    Less than 20 years ago, they were still flying DC3s in the backblocks of China.
    So. The passengers are on board, the pilot walks up the aisle into the cockpit, and shuts the door. He then starts the starboard engine and then the port one. He does his “run-ups”. Then he shuts down the port engine and then the starboard one. He appears at the cockpit door and announces. “This plane sick. We take other plane.”

    So, they file across the runway and get into the other DC waiting there.
    The pilot does his run-ups again , and once again turns them both off.

    He appears at the door again, and announces. “This plane more sick. We take first plane.

  11. Droll not Troll | 5:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Your pilot is Captain P. Q. Li-ah.

  12. Marum | 5:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    @DNT. If the insignia has only one wing, he is probably a Stewardess, or a Flight Attendant.

  13. Ben | 5:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 30  Subtract rating 0  

    The flight left on time, an attractive stewardess served me a snack in route, and all my luggage arrived safely. This was a very abnormal flight.

  14. Big Fat Cat | 5:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    they keep playing the song “Up where we belong ” over and over again.

  15. Droll not Troll | 5:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    Come to think of it, what is there about humans flying that’s not abnormal?

  16. Droll not Troll | 5:48 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 1  

    @Marum: If “he” is a stewardess, that’s definitely abnormal! 😀

  17. Marum | 5:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    @DnT. You obviously have never met any QANTAS stewards. 😀

  18. Yu No Hoo | 5:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    No thanks, I prefer plain travel.

  19. Marum | 6:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    They were interviewing this old Jap guy, who went into an Oz RSL Club.

    When they asked him what he did during the war, he replied: “Me Kamikaze Pilot.”

    As I never knew that Kamikaze Pilots had a retirement plan, I fell off the lounge chair laughing, and missed the rest of the interview.

  20. Marum | 6:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    “WE ARE ABOUT TO CRASH. PLEASE ASSUME THE CRASH POSITION….and kiss your arse goodbye.”

  21. Frank Burns | 6:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    I just can’t wait for solar powered airplanes.

  22. jjhitt | 6:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Whew… for a moment there I thought it said Abdominal Flights.

  23. Chris | 8:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    “Paging Abbie Normal…”

  24. Classic Steve | 8:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    It’s a trebuchet.

  25. EffEff | 3:40 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Jetpacks, personal rockets, genetically-engineered wings, levitation, anti-gravity, telekinesis?

  26. EffEff | 3:41 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Supersonic hoverboards, too.

  27. Long Tom | 6:00 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    I remember a Blondie comic book where Dagwood dreams of meeting the Wright Brothers and they all try to do flying with a rubber band-powered plane. Years later in the dream, said attempt would prove a total failure. The dream was caused by Dagwood’s earlier playing with a rubber band-powered toy airplane.

  28. Droll not Troll | 9:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    @jjhitt: Those belly landings are hell!

  29. Droll not Troll | 9:24 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Our motto: What goes up…. usually comes down.

  30. Droll not Troll | 9:29 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I was trying to find a Justin Wilson story that could apply to this post, about a cajun at the airport who keeps asking about the arrival and departure times. Does anyone have a link to it?

  31. Garst | 9:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I would like a ticket for the aerial screw to Beijing.

  32. sirpaulfan | 11:34 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Every flight I’ve taken since 2001 has seemed pretty abnormal to me. Showing my age.

  33. A Non-Y Mouse | 4:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    “Excuse me. I seem to be lost. Can you direct me to the counter for paranormal flights?”

  34. Phil Gayton | 6:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Bad trip, man.

  35. Conventi | 12:13 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 2  

    MH370 passengers checked in there.

  36. zankhana | 5:18 pm |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    And we wonder why they call it a terminal………… Gives new meaning to “we are making our final approach….”

  37. The Dude | 1:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    For Priceline customers

  38. Peter | 5:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    A no way ticket to hell please (Fright No.666)

  39. Kioku | 12:44 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    That is really the code word for those planning to hitch a ride on an alien space craft. Always know where your towel is.

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