I’m feeling optimal, and you?

posted on 14 Apr 2016 in Books/Magazines, Chinglish

general-managers-remarks

Photo courtesy of Jill Kramer.
Found in guest services book in Wuhan, China hotel. 

33 captions

  1. algernon | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    you come where. Its an optimal feeling

  2. algernon | 4:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    extingwished expres acknowledgement

  3. Big Fat Cat | 4:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 1  

    If you have dismal feelings here, please write to engrish.com

  4. Huu Yuu | 4:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    The general manager will keep an I-on you.

  5. Big Fat Cat | 4:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 1  

    Spirit enjoyment? I thought that’s only available at Ouija Mountain Villa!

  6. Huu Yuu | 4:14 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    The general manager exting-wished that there would be guests.

  7. Huu Yuu | 4:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    I’m glad they satisfy my reqnests in an all-round way. A triangle shaped nest is uncomfortable.

  8. SF | 4:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    I have had too much spirit enjoyment to feel optimal. In fact, I’m rather feeling extingwished.

  9. SF | 4:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 1  

    Spirit enjoyment is to be found in the mini-bar.

  10. Long Tom | 4:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    @SF-You don’t find spirit enjoyment in a mini-bat, you get it in the full-sized bar!

  11. Droll not Troll | 4:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    My come is pleased to be at your Villa but you really need to wash the sheets now.

  12. DrLex | 4:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    If guests need to extinguished, something tells me they won’t have optimal feelings about having been set on fire in the first place.

  13. Droll not Troll | 4:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    I wonder what message the GM has for guests who are still alive.

  14. Droll not Troll | 4:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    extingwished: on fire but hoping for water.

  15. jjhitt | 4:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    “She’ll be coming round Luojia Mountain when she comes….”

  16. Droll not Troll | 4:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Luojia Mountain Villa has many staffs, which are useful for hiking.

  17. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:38 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    PS: In case you have non-optimal feelings, use our fire extingwisher

  18. timmy | 4:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    So the rooms are haunted then.

  19. Frank Burns | 5:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    So, no smoking then?

  20. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Deer General, Manager’s Remarks:

    I, according to your notice, can not translate this satisfactorily.
    But I will tell my friends the caption!

    Extingwished guests

  21. Yu No Hoo | 5:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Our staffs have service aim to satisfy.

  22. Droll not Troll | 5:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    In case of fire, guests will find fire distingwishers are all-round.

  23. Jack | 5:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    “Dear extingwished guests”

    A bit of a flowery start for a eulogy, don’t you think?

  24. WorrierPrincess | 6:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    If the guests need to be extingwished, maybe our warm welcomes are a little bit TOO warm.

  25. Kioku | 6:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    All-round? Does that mean if I ask for an extra chair my only option is a been bag?

  26. Marum | 7:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    The guests were “extinguished”?

    Yes indeed. They were extremely put out.

  27. Marum | 7:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    The management frowns upon fire-extingwisher fights in the stair wells.

  28. Marum | 8:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Esteemed Manager,
    Sir. I am your guests from Room 409, and I am extremely extingwished

    The reason is that the starlings have established their reqnests in the lintel above the door to my patio, as a result of this construction frenzy by these infernal birds, my room is now crawling with lice.

    Could you please evict these unwanted guests/pests immediately, or at least provide complimentary Calamine lotion.

    My lice chewed remains, your humble guest, Room 409.

  29. Marum | 8:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    @Kioku 0643

    No extingwished gust. W send a posse of the esteemed Red Guards to your room. They will beat you arse, until you no longer ar capable of sitting down.

    The management humbly hopes, that this will generally fulfil your desire.

  30. Mr. Wrong | 3:51 pm |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Nos morituri te ejaculatamus.

    But can you please turn off the spy cam?

  31. Anomoly | 7:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    The Luojia mountain villa staff gave sincere thanks to my come and now I have spirit enjoyment.

  32. timmy | 1:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    I extingwish I could go to a different hotel.

  33. sirpaulfan | 11:06 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    as long as you have a fire extngwisher, I’m good.

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