You know, bibles and hymnals.

A church for hoarders

Praise Jestuffs!

Chairs tables

Looks more like a bar

God fella?

Must be quite Hot Stuffs

If this were a restaurant, it would be “Worship Stuffed”

Ripoff In Peace

Holy taxidermy!

We’ve got the rite stuff.

If worship stuffs, does atheism suck?

Come inside and get stuffed.

Holy Hoarders Batman!

Our pastor is called Fettucine.

Today’s sermon: “Spaghetti and meatballs”.

Our food will give you a righteous case of the trots.

Like the ad that appeared in the Courier Mail years ago; For sale, owner relocating overseas:

Fridge, microwave, TV, sound system, and other household gods.

In the beginning, God created a steakhouse…..

john-whatchamacallit 3:sixtee-whateverthatversewas

I only worship real, cooked chicken, but thanks anyway.

That’s what we do in my church — Our Blessed Lady of the Packrats

Though shalt fix not throw out thine brocken things. Keep holy recycling day. Though shalt not covet thine beighbors stuff. Remember black Friday and Cyber monday are our keystone holy days.

I can haz your soul?

“May I book a table for five please?”

Just me, the Holy Trinity, and Satan.

Patrick and Sean are walking to the pub.

Sean: “Patrick! PATRICK!!! Look, LOOK!! It’s the four horsemen of the apocalypse!!!!”

Patrick: ‘Relax Sean. Relax. It’s not the end of the world.’

Now that PTL made crass commercialism a religious tradition, this more understated materialism almost seems heretical.